cough cough

I caught this chest cold crap that is going around. (Why do we say "caught"? I have to work pretty hard to catch a ball or a frisbee, I can assure you I didn't make any effort at all to "catch" this cold. We should say tripped or ambushed. Caught implies intent.)
Anyway, I'm pretty much over it now, but it sucked for a few days. When I was a young girl I got chest colds all the time. I remember mom smearing Vicks Vaporub all over my chest and neck, propping pillows under my chest so the mucus could "drain" --where, I don't know-- and putting on the steam humidifier so that in the morning the windows were coated in moisture.
Surprisingly (to me) when I was smoking, I never got chest colds. not once. Now that I've quit, they are back. This is the second nasty one in the 6 years since I've quit.
And 35 years later, the cough medicine tastes the same.

Are you smarter than a President?

You know how some people are always boasting about their IQ and how brilliant they are?
(Don't forget, intelligent and smart do not always go hand-in-hand.)
UC Davis professor, Dean Simonton used historiometric methods to estimate each U.S. president’s IQ. You will never guess the most intelligent president. I was pretty surprised. I actually said, "Wow." out loud to no one in the living room after I got to #1.
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John Quincy Adams IQ: 168.8
College: Harvard University
Like his father, John Quincy Adams was an esteemed lawyer and a formidable presence in court (he earned a law degree from Harvard). He was also a brilliant statesman, negotiating several key international treaties. Remarkably, Adams was fluent in at least four languages and regularly translated Latin and ancient Greek as well.

Really? The first (would that it were the only) son who followed his father into the Presidency. other than his distinctive middle name, his chief claim to fame for Presidential trivia buffs is that he is the only President who was elected to the House of Representatives AFTER his presidency. Congress must've been very different then.

Confidence is sexy

RuPaul has a catchphrase on his show Drag Race that he closes out each episode with: "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" Cute, almost kitchy, but for all that, the words should not be simply dismissed.
How many ordinary people just don't like themselves for no decent reason? They feel they need to be thinner, prettier, funnier, smarter, happier. They feel that others won't like them unless they are these things. They feel that they don't deserve to be valued because of these things.
Saddest, and most frustrating, is that no amount of external validation seems to penetrate.

Spell check

I have a colleague in a branch office who "communicates" via email. However her grasp of English is tenuous at best. Her emails usually do not container capital letters or punctuation, except a single period at the very end. She ALWAYS uses the wrong form of are ("the repairs our complete") and substitutes where for were AND we're every time. Her syntax is often confusing as well, so reading these emails is a challenge. It's difficult to comprehend that she was born and raised in the Midwest.

All that said, I wonder if she reads my emails and thinks that I use too many commas and spell everything wrong.

New house

I think I found the MOST ADORABLE WAY to upgrade the sadly deteriorating playhouse in the back yard that LSH fondly refers to as the "mother-in-law suite." I am very impressed with this guy's work! If only she didn't need a bathroom...

Happy hour fail

I get sitting at the bar when you are alone. Or even with one --two at the max--  friend. But to try to have a socially interactive happy hour with a group of seven friends all strung out in a line of bar stools is as conducive to conversation as a nineteenth century dinner party at Downton Abbey.  Just chatting with someone one person away becomes an exercise in acrobatics as you lean forward and back in the seat just to exchange a few sentences. Why? Why do people insist on staying at the bar?

Hungry

I have a friend who is almost constantly trying to lose weight. She has tried more diets than I even knew existed. She has a love-hate relationship with food that I find rather unhealthy. She will deny herself all but the most miniscule portions of cucumber and lettuce in order to "pay for" a weekend of what she calls overeating (and what most humans refer to as just "eating").
Now, just to be clear, I could probably do with more meals made up of cucumbers and lettuce and fewer meals made up of cheeseburgers. In fact, if I substituted all my cheeseburgers with cucumbers, I could drop about 50 pounds.
But I take pleasure in food. I love trying new things and eating well courtesy of world-class chefs at restaurants and making special recipes at home. I don't ever want to see food as my enemy. Or as a chore.
And I wonder if women who spend their lives denying themselves a pleasurable relationship with food are also women who do not find joy in other parts of life. 
Is there a study for that? Are foodies more likely to enjoy life's other pleasures? Or does enjoying life's pleasures mean you also enjoy food? We've all heard the cliche "fat and happy." Are we also "fat and satisfied"? "Fat and joyful"? "Fat and pleasured"? 

Well, some of us are. ;)

Shovel it

I probably should have read the cold weather snow shoveling tips BEFORE we went out to shovel this morning.
Before You Shovel Snow

• Talk to your doctor before you take on this task of snow shoveling OOPS
• Avoid shoveling immediately after you awaken as most heart attacks occur early in the morning when blood is more prone to clotting. Wait for at least 30 minutes and warm up OOPS
• Do not eat heavy meal before shoveling: blood gets diverted form the heart to the stomach CHECK. Hey! I got one right.
• Warm up your muscles before starting by walking for a few minutes or marching in place OOPS
• Do not drink coffee or smoke for at least one hour before or one hour after shoveling or during  breaks. DO NOT DRINK COFFEE??!?! RIGHT.

While Shoveling Snow

• Use a small shovel: shovel many small loads instead of heavy ones  CHECK.
• Begin slowly and take frequent, 15 minute breaks OOPS
• Drink plenty of water to avoid dehydration  OOPS
• Dress in layers, to avoid hypothermia (low body temperature) or overheating MEH. I'm gonna take credit on this one.
• Cover your head and neck (50% body heat lost thru head and neck) OOPS
• Cover your mouth (breathing cold air can cause angina or trigger breathing problems  OOPS
• Watch for warning signs of a heart attack, lightheadedness, dizziness, being short of breath or if you have tightness or burning in chest, neck, arms or back. DOESN'T EVERYONE'S BACK HURT WHEN THEY SHOVEL SNOW??!

Three out of 12. I'm not a math genius, but I'm pretty sure that's failure. Still. Be careful out there. And watch out for whistlepigs. They are all over the place today.

Resolutions

Is it better to have as a New Year's Day goal to be up and dressed early to meet the world?
Or to see how long into the day I can remain in jammies?

SHOPPING!

Vacation day and payday on the same day seems like a recipe for indulgence.

Let's see what I can do.
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BAM! $400.00. You're welcome, economy.

Some questions about Christmases of old

What the hell was Christmas like in the 60s? Or at Andy Williams' house in the 60s?

Who the hell tells ghost stories at Christmas?

 

And someone needs to define the word "fling" for this man. It has never, to my knowledge, included a wedding ring even though they rhyme. Also, ALL of your friends are dropping in today?! All of them on the same day? And I'm sure your soon-to-be wife in this ditty is thrilled with the 45 minutes advance notice.

Olfactory unfairness

Why is it that smells that tend to linger are unpleasant? It's not just that it seems like the smell of skunk lasts longer than the scent of roses, it does last longer. And a fresh cut lemon scent doesn't stick around nearly as long as cat pee. I want lilacs to have the same staying power that smoke has.

What can we do to change that?

I wish we lived in a world that did not value youth and beauty over wisdom and confidence.

Foggy bottoms

Have you ever noticed how a truly dense fog gives a sense of timelessness? All sounds are muffled. Objects seem to resolve before your eyes. And you get the impression that it would not be surprising at all if King Henry and Abe Lincoln and Rudyard Kipling all appeared as you walk through the soupy mist. In addition, the edge of anything (here it would be Lake Erie) becomes the edge of the world.
It's no wonder it is imbued with so many magical qualities in literature.

Drawing a blank

As a blogger (I can't even give myself the title "writer" since my scribbles here constitute all of my output) nothing is more intimidating that a blank box and a deadline.
I read. A lot. And frankly, even the crappy books are astonishing accomplishments to me. I can write a blog post nearly every week day of the year. Many (most) are fewer than 100 words. Many (most) take me less than an hour to write (once I can grab onto a thought for the day). But none are particularly creative (that's okay; I'm not fishing). But a book. Even a really stupid one, takes imagination and perseverance and abilities beyond my own.
Still, the feeling of staring at that blank page. I kinda get that.

Color blind?

This is something I have always wondered, but Elise at IFLS and Michael at Vsauce state it better than I.
Everyone is told that the sky is blue, so we look at the sky and see blue. But what if what I perceive as sky blue is the same color that you perceive as sea green? Or cotton-candy pink? We don't know. We are both looking at a blue sky but may be seeing marginally different (or even radically different) colors.

tragedy in history

Has it always seemed to the current generations that our world is going to hell in a handbasket?
Back in 1914, were average middle-aged women lamenting the thought of their children growing up in a world where there was crazy wars and sinking ships and massacres and assassinations?
Our present-day seems so overwhelming, that sometimes a little historical perspective helps mitigate the horrors.

Ethnic

Every once in a while, I like to get Indian food.
Do you think Indians every once in a while like to grab some chicken fingers and fries?

Contrary

Why is it that whenever you are considering making a significant purchase (car, house, boat, etc.) that everyone you know suddenly has the best advice?
And they are always offering you suggestions that are contrary to their own actions. "Buy a house in K town. They have the best schools and lowest taxes," says the guy who lives in U town.  "Model C cars are the best," says the friend who drives a Model L.

Long way down

How do those ski-jumpers manage to let go? I'd be clinging to that gate bar with all my strength.