Of 2020

 Hello blog,

Yes after 3 years, another update. I wonder if people still blog nowadays? There are just too many social medias now that most people are spending more time doing things like Tik Tok, Pinterest and all. I am still on Instagram and Facebook only and they were not regularly updated.

So, just jotting down some update in life here in my blog which has been very quiet for quite some time.

2020 is the year where we envisioned for some modern day flying cars and all those techy stuff, but no there were no flying cars yet. Technology has been good I think, some of which we might not know we have, maybe?

 Most of the days of 2020 were spent at home due to lockdown. Not sure what will happen in the next 3 years by the time I blog again. Will this Coronavirus that is currently attacking the whole world since the start of 2020 be eradicated by that time? Only Allah knows. There are some group of people relates this Coronavirus with something else. All this tracking people here and there might lead to something? I dont know. Only Allah knows. 

I really dont know what the future holds, but I hope if anything happens when the big thing comes whether it is going to be in my lifetime or my kids' later, I hope we will have a strong faith in Allah. But how do I do that other than just hope?

I am still not a better muslim than before, I think I have been  a bit busy with life now that I have 3 kids (addition of twins a few years ago). It really does make my days very busy now that we need to juggle between work and taking care of kids due to lockdown. 

How do I prepare myself and kids for the coming days? 

Of 2017

Hello blog.

It has been a while again. I kind of blog every 2 years it seems. Haha.

So how life's been treating me for the past 2 years?

Well from the last post. I got married. Then I got pregnant.

Whist pregnant in the first & second trimester I had to go for a bi-weekly work trip to Johor. I had night sickness. I vomited kueyteow goreng.

I went for umrah with my husband and parents while 26 weeks pregnant (I think so).

At 40 weeks gestation, I gave birth, via cesarean, because my baby was breech. All the while I thought my pregnancy was okay, not much issues, but towards 36 weeks onwards I just realized that I took it for granted. I was not aware of breech pregnancy needs a lot of exercise to turn the baby from 32 weeks. I thought babies would turn by themselves when the time comes... Naturally. Hah. Well not the case for me.

It was a rollercoasater feeling and experience. I went for External Cephalic Version (ECV)... 4 times! A procedure to turn the baby's head down externally but all attempts failed, till the very last minute before cesarean.  I had spinal anaesthetics, and the obstetrician performed the final ECV before I finally had to surrender for cesarean...

I went on confinement.

I did not lose weight, in fact I currently am weighing the same as my full term pregnancy weight.

My baby is now 13 months old. She's a girl. Such a blessing..

I am still pumping milk for my baby. I wish to at least supply her breast milk till she's 2 years old, though starting 1 year old we had to supplement with formula since my supply is not sufficient enough for her.

Losing weight while breastfeeding is a myth. The first 8 months I tried to eat a lot so that I can increase my milk supply, but instead my weight increased.

So my mission after my baby is 'strong' enough is to lose weight! If I can do it before, why cant I do it again?

Just that it's different.. I am still scared due to the cesarean wound. I tried planking once and I felt the pain at the cesarean scar.

I wish I will have that courage again to exercise and lose weight. Wouldnt want to get pregnant again with the current weight as a start please!

Of 2015 Blessings

Hello blog,

Blogs have been quite obsolete with facebook, instagram and all other kind of social medias available nowadays where people can post anything with long captions and stories and for it to be made aware by other audiences and readers (by appearing in their timelines) real time. 

Just a quick recap of my life this year.

I was made redundant by my previous company in January.

I started a new job in another company in February.

SAP GST implementation project went live for 3 companies in April. 

I got engaged in May.

I am getting married in less than 3 weeks! Alhamdulillah. 

Another SAP GST implementation project going live in November. 

Thank you Allah, for all your blessings this year. Despite of course some down moments, I am glad for all the good things You gave me this year. 

Lets hope for the best in the coming weeks. It's going to be a tough one as I need to plan for my wedding as well as being in the crucial final stage of the project -  finalizing the system and in the midst of testing and training the users for the coming system go-live!  

The Guest 2

When I wrote my previous post of The Guest in November, I had no idea that I will be invited again to the place I longed for in the coming 2 months.

It was a miracle, it was amazing how He actually hear us. He took away something from us to be replaced with something more beautiful. Alhamdulillah. 

Shortly after the submission of the first draft of my masters research project I went to Singapore with my friends for a short getaway during the long Christmas holiday. At that time I knew that my parents are going for umrah in late January, because umrah has become their yearly trip somehow but I didn't give any hopes that I might follow this time. I don't even have any money to support myself, so I've planned to start saving slowly when I start earning and hoping I might reach there again at least once more before my pre-scheduled Hajj with Tabung Haji in 2030, just because I can't wait till that year to visit. 

Upon my arrival from Singapore after midnight of 28th December, my father knocked on my bedroom door the next early morning, asking if I would like to join them for umrah. My heart skipped a beat, I was screaming inside but I tried to look cool on the outside, and I said, "OK, sure", with no excitement. I was still in a state of surprised. It was amazing that He actually heard how I longed to be so close to His house, to His prophet, to the Holy land. It was 28th December 2012, and the scheduled departure date was 28th January 2013, I had a month time! 

In between the date till the departure I still need to perform my viva presentation for my research project, correction, and binding my report. It was kind of a busy month just right before my departure, but it was all worth it. 

I was so moved to be close to Prophet Muhammad on the nights where the full moon was very much visible. During my thesis writing I had been listening to this one qasidah called Ya Badrotim which means The Full Moon, referring to the Prophet Muhammad's face. It seems like, They heard me, They heard how I really misses them so much and They called me earlier that I've thought. It was amazing.

Alhamdulillah.

Well, more construction for expansion takes place this time around. Things will be so much different if I managed to go there again, InsyaAllah..

My most amazing moment was hiking through the rocky Jabal Nur to reach Hira' Cave, where Prophet Muhammad first received his revelation from Jibreel. It was the most touched moment of the whole visit.
I literally had tears running down when the ustaz recited the doa while I was looking at the dark sky full of stars. That moment was really.. indescribable.

I still had difficulties with holding my wudhu' long enough, and some other matters involving keeping myself clean from hadath all the time. I took that as a test from Him.

I will try to solve all of my problems before going there the next time, insya Allah.. 

Allah Knows Best

Sometimes, when we want something so badly and the thing is good for us, Allah will show us the way and made it easy, but when the thing we want so badly isn't going to bring any good for us, He won't make it that easy and after a while He might just take that away. Sometimes too, the good thing might not be that easy and He wanted to test and see if we tried hard enough so things will be difficult at first and then He will made it at ease later.

2012 is ending soon. It has been a year with a lot of challenges and a year with a lot of lessons. I have learnt a lot this whole year. From coping with emotional difficulties to being closer to Allah. I guess the main point is  how I tried to strengthen my faith with all the tests He gave me. I am still in a long journey to be a good and a better muslimah but I am already trying to change bit by bit this year. It has been a good transformation Alhamdulillah. Yeap, everything happened this year.

I am hoping for a better year in 2013. InsyaAllah, if everything is going to be smooth till late January, it will be a good start for 2013.