Musings on my life and on losing 7 stone in weight

Warning, this is a long post :)

I used to be "not fat". In 1985, when we got married, I was really quite slim :) 

and although I put on some weight over the years, even in 1995 I was still  "a little bit plump" rather than morbidly obese.

 I was fit and healthy, very active with a full time and demanding job, a house and garden ( not Compost Mansions but a smaller house and garden in Worcester) and Compostman and I spent weekends from March to October out competing in Speed Hillclimbs and Sprints in our racing car. We were pretty good at it as well :) Weekday evenings were spent fettling the car for the next event, or digging the garden and yes! there was composting involved even then :)

But, as some of you may know, a few years  after we moved to Compost Mansions in 1997 I became  very ill as a result of an adverse  reaction to an antibiotic, while being treated for an infected gallbladder.  Overnight in Feb 2001 I developed an auto immune, rheumatoid condition called Erythema Nodosum, along with various other unpleasant ailments. Although I took all the medication on offer I struggled to even walk or grip a mug or wash myself, felt terrible all the time and expended what little energy I did have, to make sure Compostgirl (a baby and then small child at this time)  did not suffer because I was unwell. 

Despite being so unwell I still did all sorts of stuff with her, looked after her as a SAHM, we went out to parties and play sessions and had friends round  and I was very good at struggling on and putting on a "brave face" to everyone bar a few close friends and Compostman. And then, after Compostgirl had gone to bed, I would collapse. I was advised by the medics to rest as much as possible but realistically, how can a parent with a young child, AND a house, AND animals and any kind of work, (we lived here so there was always work to be done outside) manage to "rest" ? I used to ask the medics that, but I could never get an answer!  

We had no living parents or siblings or other relatives to help us - so it was just my wonderful Compostman who shouldered most of the extra work, along with a couple of good and lovely friends ( you know who you are :) and I love you  forever for helping us in our years of need) To be truthful I don't like to remember how awful that period was, as apart from having Compostgirl, life was pretty grim.

Anyway, I spent several years on many different medications, and in and out of hospital, being seen by all sorts of different specialists and having many, some very unpleasant, tests. The most alarming was when I had a scan which required me to become radioactive beforehand - I swallowed the drink with the isotope in, and THEN I was told to go off into Hereford for a couple of hours while it was absorbed, but "not to sit close to anyone" and also "not to cuddle my baby or breast feed her for 24 hours " because I was radioactive !!! 

I was not impressed with this.

To cut a long story short, I was very ill and very incapacitated for several years and on top of everything else was also additionally diagnosed with CFS.

June 2006

By 2006, by dint of applying holistic therapies, an organic diet, pacing myself and conserving my energy whenever I could (and dropping the medication in favour of herbal and aromatherapy pain remedies - it worked for me but check with your GP first!), I had recovered enough to get back to a small amount of work (as opposed to the unpaid work I do, and did then,  here, day in day out!)  so I volunteered as a Master Composter, then became self employed - first teaching Organic Gardening and running Eco clubs in schools,then in 2008 I trained as a Forest School leader and finally in 2010  trained as an Adult Lecturer. You can read about all this elsewhere on this blog :)

I still felt exhausted a lot of the time and I would be flattened by any bugs "doing the rounds" but on the whole I had a bit more of a normal life.  At least until the evening, which was when I would collapse.

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April 2008

I was VERY active both at work and on our smallholding and I continued to eat apparently very healthily and also lead a healthy lifestyle -   but still was gaining weight. Eating less and doing more did not work for me.

March 2010

By mid 2013 I was feeling worse and worse again, brain fog, joint aches, bloating after meals, passing wind, itchy eyes, itch skin and all sorts of niggling ailments which were "nothing in particular" but which made my life miserable. It was a struggle to keep working. I just wanted to sleep all the time. I also would be overcome with the desire to eat endless slices of wholemeal toast and Marmite, even after a couple of slices for breakfast  - I would crave more all day. I did not often have any more, but it was there in my mind. I also craved sandwiches and pasta and potatoes. 

July 2013

Oct 2013

As the months went by I got fatter and more bloated, despite (as far as I could see) not eating any more food than before. My weight and mood would fluctuate quite a bit and I was SO tired, all the time. I assumed this was the extra weight I was lugging around as well as  "just" the CFS affecting me.

Feb 2014

The first half of 2014 was horrible for me - I was getting fatter and more unwell but couldn't seem to lose any weight however much I tried ( and oh how I tried) . 

The turning point finally came when I was rushed into hospital on 28 June 2014 due to an infected Blandford Fly bite. My arm had turned sceptic and my blood pressure had rocketed to more than 220/135 – that’s stroke and heart attack range! 

 

I was admitted and spent a few days on an iv antibiotic drip, which helped the septicaemia. I was also put on medication to try to get the very high BP figure down. In addition I got a friendly but very serious talk from a consultant about how much my weight was affecting my health - all stuff I knew but had chosen to go "la la" and cover my ears about.

This time, I listened. I was in a lot of pain, very ill and very frightened. I was in an acute admissions ward, surrounded by some seriously unwell people, I had to listen to a crash team working for many hours on the lady next door.  Listening to people die around you tends to concentrate the mind a lot on mortality - I knew I had to do something to change the way things were with me,  or I would be dead soon. So this time I vowed TO DO SOMETHING about the mess I was in.

After discharge from hospital I spent another two weeks recovering at home, on lots of medication and mostly in bed, with lots of time, and serious reason, to have a good hard think about my life and the way I was treating myself. The BP medication was making me feel even worse and I did not want to take it forever, which is what I was being told I would have to do. 

I had a copy of  Zoe Harcombe's book " Stop counting calories and start losing weight" by my bed - I had read it the previous year and found it interesting but gave up on Day 3 of Phase 1 of  The Harcombe Diet as I felt so dreadful. This time, I read it properly and suddenly it all clicked into place. This time I was motivated to do The Harcombe Diet properly. It was summer, I had unlimited organic salad growing in the garden and poly tunnel so I had no excuse. 

But mainly I was frankly terrified that if I did not do something about how fat I had become, I might not be around those I loved much longer. My mother sadly had a stroke, the first of many, when I was only 11 and she spent the rest of her life (another 15 years) in hospitals, paralysed and in a wheelchair, unable to speak and with brain damage.

The thought of putting my family through what I had gone through as a child, growing up without my mum, finally spurred me into action to improve my own health. I did not want to die of a stroke or heart attack!

I had not had any alcohol since the day I was admitted to hospital and did not start drinking again so that helped. My diet was 'apparently' very good - lots of wholemeal home made bread and wholemeal pasta, organic meat, dairy and veg (lots of the veg home grown) but looking back my food was very heavily carb laden, especially wheat (even though it was organic and wholemeal!) I had lots of symptoms of Candida/Food Intolerance which I thought were just the CFS, and although I did not eat many sweet things my savoury choices were still carb laden and I also mixed fats and carbs all the time.

I think my food choices were feeding the Candida, to be honest.

So after two weeks of convalescence, where I did not eat as much (was sort of doing THD Phase 2 ) or drink any alcohol I got on my scales - and I had lost 16 lbs !!! Ok I thought, this is good but I knew I needed to lose a lot more weight to get my health back on track. And I had been very ill so had not had much appetite etc.

So, I decided to do things properly. I signed up for The Harcombe Diet 30 Day Blitz package that day and got started on Phase 1 properly on 12 July 2014.

I felt dreadful for the first five days without caffeine and I could have killed for toast, butter and Marmite (my food of choice) but I figured as I still felt dreadful anyway, due to recovering from illness, I would just keep on and stick to what the book said. And then...I started to feel livelier, more clear headed, less sluggish and my sleep was deep and refreshing. Each day, I felt a little better.

29 July 2014

In the first month I lost 27 lbs

Sept 2014

between July and Sept I lost 4 Stone.

Oct 2014

Since then I have slowly re-introduced various foodstuffs, one at a time. As a result I have identified that I have a real issue with wheat, as even organic, wholemeal bread seems to make me bloated with achy joints and pain in my stomach. I have more recently found that dairy products also disagree with me so have now cut out milk and cheese. Fortunately I still seem OK with butter!

Unfortunately drinking even small amounts of beer upsets me (shame!) However, drinking my home-made organic cider does not. So that’s my new “cheating” tipple of choice!

My former diet was “apparently” very good - lots of wholemeal home-made bread and wholemeal pasta, organic meat, dairy and home-grown veg. However, looking back, my food was very heavily carbohydrate laden, with lots of wheat based foods. What I now know is that my food choices were feeding the Candida lurking inside me and my wheat intolerance made it all even worse,  hence a lot of the bloating.

Oct 2014

Xmas Day 2014

Seven months in, and I can honestly say that I have not felt this good for more than a decade. I feel SO much better! I sleep well and wake up raring to go and keep active all day. I bounce around full of energy, and my BP is now within the bounds of normal so I am off the medication.

I look in the mirror and I am so pleased with how healthy I look. I’ve lost seven stone and dropped four dress sizes since I started this way of eating. I can finally wear clothes that I stashed away years ago!

I recently put on my ’bum bag’, with the waist-strap set from the last time I wore it, back in mid-June 2014. I had to adjust it in by 12 inches!

My family are delighted and very relieved at how much weight I have lost and how much healthier I am. Friends have commented on how good I look, how clear my skin is and how bright my eyes are. My nails are no longer flaky and chewed looking, but long and strong. I have even started varnishing them for the first time in 10 years!

Yes, I have a lot more weight to lose but I know that if I just carry on doing what I have been doing, I will get there eventually. There is loads of online support from The Harcombe Diet Club Forum and I have made some good friends on it. I also have the joy of being able to buy "normal" clothes and underwear from mainstream stores. Sounds trivial I know, but it made my life miserable not being able to just pick up a pack of knickers or a tee shirt from a High St shop!

I am now more than 2/3 of the way to the weight I want to be. I am happier, healthier and fitter than I have been for 15 years - since before I first got ill back in 2001!  I am "on target" to get back to where I was 15 years ago - and I know I can do it by sticking to The Harcombe Diet way of eating.

I have a private blog detailing my weight  reduction journey so if you would like to join, please email me.

Cold. or some such.

I have a cold,  or some sort of nasty virus thingy. I have had it for a couple of days now. A very sinus bunging up, headache inducing, tissue blowing, sore nosed, sore throat, shivers and sneezes sort of cold.

I suspect I caught it  late last week  :( I feel rubbish. And am not going to archery today as I really feel ill. Compostman and Compostgirl have gone off to Mordiford to shoot and fortunately it is a lovely morning today ( not like last week when it was too foggy to shoot until l1 am!)

Still, as a result I am enjoying lots of sewing, reading, crochet, catch up on tv and sitting-by-the-fire. Am just doing looking after chicken (big and little) duties and resting a lot. Oh and eating home made soup, which is all I can swallow at the moment.

Am enjoying the re run of marvels Agents of Shield in advance of series two starting next week on C4.

Hope you all avoid this though, as it is horrible .

A bit of a catch up

Having been quite poorly recently, I have not written much about what we have been up to - mainly because I have not done very much.



The strong winds we have had here recently meant we had to " batten down the hatches" and make sure hen house roofs, wheelbarrows, garden furniture, pots, compost bins etc were all well fixed down - even though we did have one compost bin blow over ( it was nearly empty, when I thought it was half full :)  )

The chickens were not impressed by the wind  and grumbled about it. A Lot. Cassi Cat seemed to like it wild and windy, though as she ran around the garden, ears flattened, eyes wide, running up trees and pouncing on whirling leaves.

 

With her help we have managed to finish off re building the compost bin area and very nice it looks, too :)

I have been trying to summon enthusiasm for the upcoming festivities, but am not doing terrible well on that front. I hope to feel more festive as I recover a bit more strength and the Year turns from dark to light at the Solstice on 21 Dec.  

But for now, about all I can manage is to stay warm, read, do some crochet and sit by the fire, resting.

I hope all of you are well and safe and busy :)

Marjoram update

She is still with us :)

She is still living in the house in the cat carrier but now goes outside during the day with the other hens , who on the whole are kind to her :)

I DO watch to make sure, though .

I take her outside when I go out to sort out Chicken Village, I put her down at the top of the wood, where  Chicken Village is situated.

I get Nutmeg out from her Broody Duties, and the two of them eat together - they were good friends before Nutmeg went Broody and Marjoram went moulty and then ill.

No other hens interfere as they are still shut in, it is just these two old girls, together :) And me - another old girl, sitting on the bench, drinking tea and chatting to them. Sometimes Cassi Cat joins me :)

Then Nutmeg goes back to The Eggs and Marjoram finds a quiet and sunny spot to sit and rest :)

Poor Coriander Hen

Coriander hen is an ex commercial flock rescue hen I have looked after for nearly two years now - she came to us at the end of her "productive" commercial life, aged about 18 months old.

She has been a very robustly heathly, delightful companion hen, a good egg layer and ( as often with generic
"ginger" commercial hybrids) a real character and a very sweet personality.

She has been seriously moulty for the last 5 weeks or so, and resistant to being picked up or checked over, but I have managed to catch her a few times and check she was ok .

However this morning when Compostman went to let the hens out into the wood, she was obviously not ok - she could hardly walk and was very slow on her feet.

He brought her in to me ( the fact he could catch her shows how poorly she was as she previously has only ever let me catch her!) and when I examined her she had a very distended abdomen and was very thin and also very cold.

I gave her a warm bath with lavender essential oil added - to help ease any egg bound issues -  and then put her in a box in the kitchen with cat food, water and a comfy dark straw nest to settle down int at one end of the box. She has eaten a little and drunk a little but has not passed an egg (  I hoped the warm water would stimulate this as it has worked in the past with other hens) or done the huge poo I hoped to see ( from previous experience this sometimes is also the problem!)

I fear she has egg peritonitis or a tumour, which every other commercial " ginger" hybrid I have owned has eventually died from     :-(

At the moment she is asleep in her comfy box, in the kitchen, but it is not a natural looking sleep and from her general demeanor I fear she will slip quietly into a deeper, terminal sleep in the night. But she might recover and, as she seems in no distress, I am prepared to leave her overnight to see what will happen.

I have gentled her and stroked her and told her what a very good hen she is - and she crooned a little at me and nibbled my finger.

I will leave her tonight and if she is still in the same state tomorrow morning I will (very sadly and regretfully) of course kill her quickly and painlessly.

I HATE this aspect of keeping livestock  - BUT if I want to keep animals I have to accept the responsibility of ending their lives "when it is time". That means if they are ill, injured OR ready to be killed for eating.

Doesn't mean I have to like doing it, though!

And I think, if I ever get to the point where I no longer feel sad enough to care about doing it - that is the point I should give up keeping livestock.

(Oh and from bitter experience I know the vet can't help her - I have now seen enough of these hens (sadly) to know that they will either pass an egg or die very quickly - and the vet is not available until Mon. If she is ok until Mon I will take her to the vet  :-)

November 2011 - blogging re-starts?

November sees the start of NaBloPoMo, a blog post each day for a month. I have posted every day, in the past, and it would feel good to get back to doing so!

But...I have had a very long and tiring and stressful day today; I am still feeling very unwell and also my longstanding back injury is flaring up; it is very late and I am very tired...so today the post will just be one of announcing I am hoping to join in...

I may also this month even manage to finish of the August alphabet post which I ( cough) still have yet to complete ( sorry Chiots Run!) 


I can hope...!

Friday shopping trip

I braved Hereford Sainsbury with Compostman, and got stocked up on the stuff we get from there. Our meat delivery came this week, so we are now OK for meat from the local organic farm. We also came home from Hereford via John Davenport's organic farm shop and got some fresh veg in. It will all keep quite happily in the garage, along side our own harvested stuff from the garden, ( sprouts, leeks, parsnips etc) as his stuff is sold " dirt on, roots on etc" so you can heel it in if needed for a week or more....

We also made sure all the store cupboard items were stocked up, likewise the small animal food. Will be getting more hen food and bedding tomorrow to make sure we have a good supply in the barn.

Also I now have all presents sorted and all stuff sent apart from cards which go tomorrow.

We have made sure that the fuel for cars and the generator is sufficient, just in case we have a power outage or several ( as is normal)

We are doing this becaues we expect more of the white stuff and disruption next week so are making sure we are prepped and ready for Yule/Xmas, now, just in case!

I am feeling a bit rough now, but managed a day on my feet today and did hens, small pets and some seasonal stuff as well as sitting in the car, so am on the mend again I hope.

But have to go and have investigations as to why I keep on having bouts of this as it is getting too frequent....

Ow ow toothache

NOT a good day here...was thinking I had a cold coming Thurs because I had face ache and a sensitive tooth, by yesterday it turned into raging toothache, a loose tooth and then a swollen face and a general feeling of unwellness.

So I stayed at home last night, and missed Compostgirl's Summer Concert at school. I really really couldn't face going, so Compostman went with her and watched and reported back. I must have looked bad because even Compostgirl said she thought I should stay at home!

I had a very poor nights sleep, so was left to lie in by family and only surfaced just before lunchtime today. I feel terrible, tbh, and am debating going down to  local small Hospital or to wait and see if I can fight off the (probable) infection until Monday. As usual with me (due to CFS) my ankles and wrists  all stiffen and swell up when I get anything else wrong with me, so am all aching as well.

Am going to sit and watch "The Meistersingers of Nurunberg" which is the Prom tonight on BBC TV, all 5 hours of it. Wrapped up in a duvet with hot compresses and various things to put on my poorly face and tooth. I am determined to have a good evening!

like Alice, I have tumbled down the slippery, whirling, twirling rabbit hole again.....

Just to let you know I am v poorly, have labyrinthitis, ( vertigo, nausea, photophobia, blinding headache - hence the "Alice/Rabbit hole in the title)

It came on with a vengence on Sunday, after bouts on and off last week and I was so ill I got carted off in an ambulance to A and E Monday night. Fortunately they let me out Tuesday morning, with drugs to take for it.

Am back at home now but spending the day on virtually total bed rest, looking at a blank wall in a darkened room is the order of the day. Am on drugs to reduce sypmtoms ( but not by much) which give me maybe an hour a couple of times a day where I can eat, see ok to read, type etc.

so am taking advantage of the current "good" spell now, to send a couple of important emails about cancelling work, and to let you all know what has happened.

Thank you for the kindly comments and emails I have already had but I am really not up to answering them at the moment - I hope you can all understand why?

Don't worry, I will live, but its not much fun being me at the moment!

Will come back when I am able.

Sat update..more snow here!

We had a lot more snow here on Sat. So yet again the garden is covered with the white stuff and no work can be done.

Not that I could do any work,outside, anyway...my foot slightly improved overnight, but not by much, sadly. Compostman very bravely cleaned it out for me last night, I felt sick and shaky as result of it as it was very painful.... he is a very brave man as he HATES that sort of stuff..would never make a First Aider etc...BUT he has done it anyway because of love....my hero!.



I still can't walk easily so I have spent today inside again, sitting at computer instead so am now up to date with invoices, brochures, handouts etc...also have practiced story telling skills for next weeks toddler playgroup workshop I am running... I have been making a few puppet props to help the tale along...

Back in the land of the living....

Well, I am back in the land of the blog, anyway....

Where do I start? I am still rather weak and poorly but am feeling a little more like my pre July self, and have been able to get on with a few of the million and one things which need doing around here.

So here are some lovely fruit and veg from the garden and polytunnel.



I took the opportunity of my enforced rest to get on with preparation for various workshops I an giving in the autumn and next spring, one is recycled paper making and paper crafts so I have been busy pressing and drying leaves and flowers to add to the paper we will be making.

I have also been collecting and drying Lavender and other flowers to use in dried flower arrangements.



The cats as always watch everything I do. This time they got up on the scaffolding and were peering in through the study window!



When they are not sleeping, that is!