Branding to the Extreme - Hello Kitty to be Brand Advertiser on Dodger Uniforms!

Nascar has been doing it for decades.  Soccer clubs worldwide do it too.  Heck, nearly every professional sports franchise throughout the world does it.

So, what keeps North American leagues from following suit?

The answer is nothing, and as I have learned today through a source, the Dodgers will be the first Major League Baseball club to sell advertising on their uniforms.

Welcome to the Dodgers, Hello Kitty!

Per an exclusive quote provided to me this morning:

"We are proud to be a partner with global brand Sanrio^® Inc., parent company of Hello Kitty.  They have the most recognized brand in the world," said Dodgers Chief Marketing Officer Lon Rosen.  "That rascally cat, not-a-cat, will usher in a new Dodger era.  She... It... Whatever, will represent the Dodger Blue spirit by gracing the right shoulder of our uniforms."

I also understand that for one game this year all the Dodger players will wear a branded Dodger Hello Kitty cap.  Check it out below.

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The Joke's on Us, I Guess

I've had a little bit too much fun today at the expense of the Dodgers (and maybe some of you), but not as much fun as the Dodgers, on this April Fools of a day.

Below is the official Dodger lineup for this afternoons game.

(Instagram via Dodgers)

The best part is at the very bottom.

"Follow The Game On SportsNet LA and MLB.TV.  April Fools!

Wait... So, are you saying that the cable wars are over and we can watch the game on our tv like last year, or is that not the joke?  I'm so confused.

BTW, if you currently do not subscribe to a cable/satellite provider that has SportsNet LA (which is basically everyone) then check out this list of establishments (bars) that do have the channel available.  (Hat Tip: Jimmy Bramlett on twitter)

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BREAKING NEWS! Our Problem has Been Solved! Dodgers Launch their Own Satellite!

What an amazing bit of news this is.  On the brink of the very first Dodger game of the regular season to be solely aired on SportsNet LA, the Dodger have announced that, in cooperation with Time Warner Cable, Guggenheim Satellite Systems and Warren Buffet's Liberty Global, they have just put into space their own dedicated satellite.

Not only can the Dodgers be seen in the lower 48, but they can also be seen globally.  In fact, the new venture will be called "Dodger Global".

Via Stan Kasten: "We are excited about this opportunity to take a brand as noteworthy as the Dodgers to the masses.

Warren Buffet: "I like Coca Cola, McDonald's and the Dodgers.  What could be more American that that!  And I'm all about investing in America."

Mark Walter: "This is an excellent opportunity to leverage our core competencies with the leadership of a global thinker.  This marks an opening salvo towards sustainability, the seamless integration of our brand to future global opportunities and a 'business-to-consumer' model that I am sure will appeal to fans the world over."

In order to receive the broadcast all you have to do is go to the Dodger website and order a specially made satellite receiver (that is the size of a breadbox) to be placed on the ceiling of your house.  It cost just $1,999.00 for the device, an installation and hookup fee of $199.00 and a subscription of $49.99 per month (with a 5-year contract).  Season ticket holders get a 10% discount.

And that's a deal folks... Cuz, goodness knows, you won't be able to watch any Dodger games without it.

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BREAKING NEWS! Dodgers Do the Unthinkable!

As unbelievable as it may seem, the Dodger have joined the MLB masses by adding a new entertaining element to their game.  It is something I didn't think would ever happen, but here it is.  We are on the dawn of something wonderful, terrible or frightening - depending on your perspective.

(pic via @Dodgers on twitter)

Today, on this April morn, the Dodgers have announced that they have added a mascot, and considering the teams recent trip 'Down Under' it should come as no surprise who it is.

After all, what would be a better way to celebrate the most hospitable folks of Australia and, at the same time, pay homage to a former stuffed marsupial that used to be an unofficial mascot for the team so many decades ago?  Heck, even our celebrated muse, Vin Scully, had a memorable run-in with the real thing a couple of weeks ago that went viral for all the world to see.

Folks, here is our new Dodger Mascot.  Please say hello to Charlie - Charlie the Dodger Koala!

As you may have already guessed, he is named after the original owner of the Dodgers, Charlie Byrne. (BTW, there's even more fantastic news below, so don't stop reading.)

And, as you can see below, he has already greeted some of our favorite Dodgers. 

It makes perfect sense that 'Uribear' would be overjoyed with Charlie.

As promised, here is some news that is even bigger than Charlie.  To introduce our new furry friend to the masses will be pop star Rebecca Black.  She will debut her very new single called, "I Like Charlie Best," before an Opening Day crowd at Dodger Stadium on Friday, April 4th.  I am wondering if it'll be a duet with Robin Thicke, since he'll also be at Dodger Stadium to entertain the fans.

I can't wait to sing at Dodger Stadium to sing my new hit single "I Like Charlie Best" with the new Dodger mascot!!!! pic.twitter.com/CIoT4uXbhR
— Reb Black (@RBlackRules) April 1, 2014

This post is made with my deepest apologies to Jon SooHoo, TMZ and Ms. Black for commandeering some of their photos.  I am a very bad man.

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BREAKING NEWS! Special Guest Singer at Tonights Game

I don't quite know what to think of this, but here ya go. Here is an excerpt from a Dodger press release.

The Dodgers are pleased to announce a special pre-game engagement with rising pop star and internet sensation Rebecca Black. Dodgers fans going to tonights game will be serenaded to her hit tune, "Friday," as they enter the stadium, and will enjoy a special live sneak-peak preview of her yet-to-be-titled new single set to be released with her upcoming album, "Why I Like Saturdays Better."

As a special treat, fans will be given the opportunity to name the new song, as it is currently untitled. Fans can vocalize suggestions for a name to the song after Rebecca Black's live pre-game performance and through Twitter (@RBlackRules). In the 3rd inning, Black will also sit with Vin Scull in the press box to discuss her fast rising career, and hear suggestions from the Hall of Fame Broadcaster about a name for her soon-to-be "hit" single.

Oh Mercy!

Sign Me Up for the Blue Ballers!

I am officially throwing my hat into the ring. I want to considered for the Dodger Blue Baller dance team.

I want to jiggle my butt while dancing to the tunes of Nancy Bea Hefley on the organ as Dodgers fans throughout the stadium clap along.

I could easily maneuver through the aisle while doing the jig with Julie of the Blue Babes.

I can imagine it now- my big fat behind with Blue short-shorts riding up my crack and a skin tight top that accentuates my manly quadrupled ridged man-boobs next to a painted Blue vixen with a t-shirt cannon in her arms. We would perform the latest dance routines that includes jumping, throwing and cheering like George Bush during his college years.

I fit all of the qualification outlined at SOSG too. I am a sports geek that not only reads blogs, but I write one. Maybe not too eloquently, but I am a part of the underground pajama wearing fraternity with pimples and a WOW account to prove it.

So, when are the auditions?

Breaking: Dodgers to be Sold!

In a year that has been so tumultuous, the incredible has happened.

The McCourts may finally be making their grand exit. No more talk of divorce or poorly funded operations. Budgets can get back to normal as the irresponsible spendthrifts will soon be making their glorious walk out of the Southland. No more thousand dollar bottles of champagne or million dollar monthly stipends to aggravate the Dodger faithful.

I have it on good authority that the McCourts are indeed seeking to sell the Dodgers, and several suitors have already expressed a strong interest.

Yes, Mark Cuban sat down and spoke to the regime. So did talk radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh. In the end, though, only one buyer was seen to have the wherewithal to take down the team. NBC, the glorious network made infamous by the CoCo/ Leno debacle will be signing papers this weekend. Furthermore, I understand that Keith Olbermann, liberal talk show host on MSNBC, will be installed as acting GM. Go here for more about this surprising move.

Dodger Blue Cheerleaders?

As I'm sure you all know, via SOSG, the Dodgers will have their own cheerleading troop, called the Blue Babes, to move around Dodger Stadium is skin tight clothes and dance moves that would make Tiger Woods blush. They will no doubt seek to entice the drunken masses to dance along in an anarchically and sexually driven kind of revelry. Imagine ladies wearing only painted Blue clothes jumping down the aisles while passing out t-shirts from pump action cannons to the upper decks.

I, for the record, am in total approval. I understand that the Dodger tradition of family and good clean livin' may be harmed by such nonsense, but who cares. Sex sells, and the Dodgers need the money.

With the past corporate debacle that was Fox/News Corp. and the marital infidelity and impending apocalypse brought on by the McCourt divorce, I say, let's enjoy it while we can.

I, for one, can't wait to meet the ladies who will adorn Dodger Stadium with their good looks and charm. On this special of days be sure to read SOSG as they had the special honor of meeting and interviewing some of these wholesome gals.

LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Dodgers and Victoria's Secret are proud to announce The Blue Babes, an on-field baseball dance team in the tradition of the Marlins Mermaids and the Brewers' Diamond Dancers. The Blue Babes will provide between-innings entertainment for crowds at Dodger Stadium and will represent the team at functions throughout Los Angeles.