Look at its smiling face!

It's all mine, mine, mine! *^v^*
(Okay, it's ours, mine and Robert's.^^)

As of Friday evening we own this beauty! And it wouldn't be anything unusual, because people sell and buy cars every day, but this one is special - because it's a Volvo.
As long as I remember (since I was a teenager, I think) I always wanted to have a Volvo. I wasn't impressed with any other cars (till the moment I found out about the Dodge Ram, yummy!...), I didn't like sport models, I didn't like big luxurious cars, I didn't care for small eco town cars, I knew that my destiny was to drive a Volvo one day. And that day arrived! ^^
I always portrayed myself in a 700 something or 900 something model, but we finally bought the 850 (which was also acceptable, anything below or above those three models could not exist for me). I wanted this beautiful rectangular lines, I wanted the spaciousness of the interior, I wanted the safety of travelling it could give me. We found it via the on-line auction of a car dealer and went to have a look at it on Friday evening.
When we were approaching the dealer's gate and he was coming towards us from the back garden in this car I just knew it was our car. Then we checked the car in and out, went to the garage to make different tests (which turned out very good), and all the time I was asking it "tell me, show me, what you feel about our relationship, let me know that you are a good choice for us", and all the time I had a really positive response, it's hard to explain but it felt okay. ^^
So, this and the fact that the car was in a very good condition both mechanically and visually decided on the final purchase. Of course it's not a new car so some flaws can surface sooner or later, but I'm really happy with the value we got for the money asked for it. For now I've been enjoying the comfort of driving similar to the one we experienced some years ago when we had a Ford Scorpio (but this time it's even better - it has an automatic gear box and heated seats!). All we need now are the new Swedish and Norwegian moose stickers on the rear window ^^ (the ones we had from the previous visits to Scandinavia went down with Mazda).
And, it's a Volvo! *^v^*

From the crafts front: Helene, I finished your "Burgundian Dance" tapestry, I'm waiting for your address! I've been also doing some knitting and embroidery, but not much as we were visiting our families and eating like crazy (Easter in Poland is mostly about eating, you know...), so I was too lazy to do any serious crafting this weekend.
I'm also a bit stuck with weaving - I didn't have enough yarn to start the blue-green fabric (I'm waiting for the new supply which should arrive later this week), so I started to prepare the warp for the brown-reddish fabric and it turned out that I didn't have enough yarn either (grrrr....) . So, unfortunately weaving is on hold till I get the new tangle supply.

Other news: I got a Summer Collection catalogue of Gudrun Sjoden's fashion (I know, about two weeks after I got her Spring catalogue, strange...) and - surprise, surprise - I don't like the clothes like... at all... Maybe one or two models did catch my attention, but it's not like the Spring clothes - "give me every piece you've got!". I don't know, maybe she prepared those two collections together and burnt out with the Spring one? Some models are really very similar in cut to the ones from last year, well... I'm very disappointed, but since I wasn't going to buy anything, just to draw some inspiration, I'll just keep looking through the previous catalogues. ^^

Behind the picture Friday

I am all green and elegant in this photo.

I was supposed to go out today, do some grocery shopping and meet my mom for lunch, but unfortunately when I was almost one foot over the threshold I realised that Robert took my wallet with him to work (he was buying someting on Wednesday and forgot to give the wallet back to me), so without any money for shopping or a bus ticket I stayed at home and decided to devote my time to some craft activities and blogging!

All's well that ends well! *^v^*

(Although it means going shopping in the evening, when everybody's there after work... *sigh*)

Alice asked me yesterday how was my working-from-home routine. Well...
It's getting better than it was!

But it's not so easy to explain, so let's start from the beginning:

Okay, let's be honest, I'm not that cheerful and happy-all-the-time person as I may seem from the smiles on my photos and colourful clothing. All these are just signs of a one desperate woman trying to fight her depression. Now, it sounded very grim and serious, and it isn't THAT serious (I'm not on anti-depression medication, life is generally okay, ect) but the last 2,5 years after I left my 9-5 job wasn't easy. It was a different type of "difficult" than before.

First phase was the following: I don't have to get up tomorrow at 7 and go to the office. Which was good! ^^ But then it was very weird, because for some time I felt separated from my office desk. I get attached to things easily, and when you were coming to work everyday for 6 years and saw your desk, with all your stationary supplies, a computer, a board with important notes, ect, it was somehow reassuring and you felt safe in life. And then I became a woman without her desk. Of course I had my desk at home, but it was different, it wasn't THE desk - my workplace.

Second phase started when I finally agreed that it WASN'T strange not to be obliged to go the office everyday - I felt free, creative, inspired by many things that surrounded me, I redecorated our flat, we payed our debts, got married, and I generally was a happy housewife with crafty hobbies. *^v^*

But then one day my best friend Anna, Robert and myself gathered in our living room and talked about the posibility to open a shop. And it all seemed reasonable, with setting up a business, taking some loans, buying and making stuff to sell. We agreed on main issues, opened a shop, had it for six months, then closed the 'real' shop and stayed only in the virtual reality. (more about it here)

I've been thinking about our shop many times and it often ocurred to me that it wasn't my dream to have it. No. It was Anna's dream and Robert's dream. And Robert couldn't just leave his 9 to 5 job and throw himself into this new risky business, so I stood in his place. Why did I agree on it even when I wasn't convinced that it was what I wanted?
Well...
I knew I'll be a crap behind the counter (which turned out to be 100% true) because I am a loner, I don't need a lot of company and I'm scared of meeting many new people, being nice to them when I have to, ect.
I never considered gothic style as MY style, I liked many styles, different costumes, and I suffered when I had to dress accordingly while being in our shop, when I felt like wearing pink t-shirt with green trousers and red shoes.
But...
~ I could sew, I had some costume ideas.
~ I could be Robert's 'representative' in our shop, when he was in the office, so I could try and realize his dream for him.
~ I felt guilty. I felt that I don't bring any money to our piggy bank, so I think I felt obliged to take this task upon me and be useful and productive.
~ Maybe I wanted to prove something to my family, or to myself? That I am worth something, that I can make living in other way than just 9 to 5 job?

Then time passed and we carried on somehow, our shop had its ups and downs, and it's been over two years now since we opened this business (in the meantime I started to make things and sell them through some online galleries). We even thought about giving it time till the end of 2006 and then closing it down (the income hardly covered the accountant's and insurance expenses), but then we decided to try a bit longer. It could fly really high, I think, with somebody who is enthusiastic about this type of merchandise, with a person devoted to gothic fashion, determined to carry on irrespective of a small Polish gothic scene hence few buyers.
But am I that person? I'm not sure. I can see that Robert is, but again one of us has to bring regular income each month... I may have some ideas for merchandise but when it comes to producing it - drawing patterns, cutting the fabric, sewing, ect, I find millions other things to do and postpone it as long as I can. What does it say about my attitude to MY shop when I would even vacuum the whole flat or clean the dishes than sit at the sewing machine?...

I don't know what's been happening to me for all this time. Is it just me being lazy or is it really not my place, not my dream I am trying to live?

Whereas some time ago I found my crafty basis:
My mission is: to fully concentrate on fabric and yarns to find my own way of expressing my ideas with the use of fiber.
I'm not sure whether this rule applies to this business.

I also looked at the second point of my manifesto, which I wrote last September:
2. My on-line gothic shop should be my prior concern and first of all I'll be concentrating on products for this shop - sewn & knitted, I may add some jewelery, but only if the first two product types have been supplied;

Well, of course it should be, if I wanted it to be successful and bring some money, but it wasn't. I'm afraid it never was a priority. I've been trying to live somebody else's dream, and even so I've been scared to let it go because I haven't found my own dream yet. And I didn't want to disappoint Robert's hopes he put into this shop. I'm still not ready to let it go because I would feel I wasted those two years of hard work of others, some fame our shop gained over this time, opportunities that still maybe lie in there for me.

But...

Let's go back to the sentence that started this long train of thoughts:
It's getting better than it was!
Frankly speaking, I find more and more pleasure in making things for OUR shop. This weekend I'm going to add new stuff - 8 Elisabethan corsets, and I've already planned to make new models next week out of different fabrics. I have ideas! I dug out my old WIPs and will be finishing them in the next few days. I find pleasure in customers' mails with questions about some products that are not available at the moment. I found my way of working - I go to my living room (I don't have a studio unfortunately) and sit at the table with a sewing machine on it in SILENCE. I used to work there with a tv on or some music in the background but it just distracted me from what I was doing.

Something is changing in me so I change things around me. Maybe it's my homeopatic medicine that I take for strengthtening my immunity system? (I found out that this medicine is also given to patients with a depression...) *^v^*

To finish off with some knitting, here is the first photo of my "I'm Blue..." scarf.
Yarn: from my stash without labels but very soft,
Needles: bamboo 4,5 mm,
Pattern: my own (trials&error method! ^^), I'll post it when it's finished.

Please disregard mudprints on the windowsill, it's our cat's... ^^

Somebody stop her!

The crazy skirt maker attacks again!!!

I say 'again', because once in a while I suffer from a heavy skirtitis and nobody can do anything about it. *^v^*
Skirts are my favourite items to sew and I make a lot of them, some for sale (some of them will go on Etsy soon! ^^) and some for me.
Remember my 30-something shawls collection? ^^ My skirt collection looks like this:

These just some skirts I bought (there are many more...)


These are some skirts I made for myself in the past.

And here are my latest creations:
"Funky" - this used to be a pair of jeans I bought online that unfortunately didn't fit me... But they had a funky pockets on the thighs and zippered fronts of the bellbottom legs, so I turned them into a skirt that fits alright! The heart and the star are from some other jeans, and they are there to cover the meeting points of the former trousers and the inserted triangles.

"Folk gal" - can you believe that this skirt was just a table rug last week?... But I found it resting in a bin in a thrift store, rescued it for 4$ and turned into a skirt that reminds me a cross between a Peruvian sheep herder and a Polish folk dancer from Lowicz area. ^^ I added the hip part from the black thick cotton and a zipper. It's wool and it's very convenient for the current weather.

"Milkmaid" - it's Wallis and this was a real treasure find in a thrift store this Wednesday (I bought this beauty for only 3$!)! The only problem was that it was size 8 and I'm size 12... so I cut the upper waist part, removed the zipper, moved it down a bit, stitched the waist part again and voila!

"Little Rose" - this skirt was a dress once, but the top part was too small for me (anyway, there was something ugly about it...), so I unstitched it in the middle, added a zipper and sewn the black cotton waistband. I like it with a fluffy petticoat.

"Blue Meadow" - I bought the fabric for this skirt like 10 years ago... I had many plans for it, cut it out in different shapes, put it away several times and then just now I made a skirt out of it. ^^ It's an embroidered cotton, bought in a friendly fabric shop where the lady didn't add the VAT tax to the price so I got it really cheap. *^v^*

"Green fields" - I thrifted this fabric a year ago and made some bags out of it, and at that time I cut out parts for a skirt (for two skirts, to be precise, the othe one is still 'in the making' and will be for sale). It's printed cotton, with some natural colour lace.


This is silly, but still fun! ( found at Hanna's blog)
Put your name and word 'needs' into google search and list the results.
1. Joanna needs to go to see her loan manager at her bank (yes, I need to work on my loans...)
2. Joanna needs money (oh, that's SO true!)
3. Joanna Needs Tuning (my health definitely! ^^)
4. Joanna needs to postpone her upcoming album (that's a mystery to me, hm...)
5. Joanna needs to find herself (well, yes, I'm working on finding my true vocation in life)
6. Joanna Needs Love Too (of course!)
7. Joanna needs eyebrows and lashes (false lashes - yes please, eyebrows - no, thank you! ^^)
8. Joanna needs to be willing to make the first changes (true, again, it's connected with finding my true self)
9. Joanna needs intellectual stimulation and companionship (nice!)
10. Joanna needs some adult company (any company, I spend a lot of time alone at home)

Happy Friday, everyone! ^^