THAT THING THAT ATE CROW

THAT THING THAT ATE CROW
Tom: Now look what you made me do. 

Mike: I didn't make you...Cambot, gimme Rocket Number Nine 

Tom: An innocent creature! 

Crow: Oh I'll get it you big babies. 

Tom: One of god's children Mike, and if it's dead I'll never forgive myself you letting you make me kill it. 

Mike: I know, I know... 

Crow: Hey, hey it's alive, it's alive! 

Mike: Hey look at him, he likes you. 

Crow: Isn't that darling...get away now. 

Tom: Can we keep 'im, can we keep him Mike, huh?! 

Mike: Well...I dunno I think we better release him back into the wild. 

Crow: He's eating me.
Mystery Science Theater 3000, Episode 804: The Deadly Mantis

GARFIELD MONSTROSITY

GARFIELD MONSTROSITY

Griffin: "It's by Yahoo Answers user '?' who asks: Really freaked out my girlfriend. Need help? As a teenager I suffered from sever depression and formed a strong bond with the character Garfield and his outlook. It's sad but reading Garfield anthologies obsessively was the only thing that made me feel normal. And it eventually took on something of an erotic fixation."

Travis: "OH NO! And I think you mispronounced Nermal. Reading Garfield books obsessively made me feel Nermal."

Griffin: "ummmm…To avoid feeling like a sicko I drew pictures of Garfield with a woman's (Pamela Anderson's body circa 1990) body and Garfield's head."

Travis: "Yeah cus that doesn't make him a sicko…go on."

Griffin: "So that I was assured that my obsession wasn't with animals or repressed homosexuality. This Garfield/Pam hybrid still had the same biting wit and acerbic outlook and tended to cut herself in self loathing while wolfing down a lasagna to fill the void after sleeping with drawings of a much more handsome and muscular version of myself. These drawings eventually evolved into erotic fan fiction staring Garfield and myself. In my head Garfield still has a woman's body but someone reading the stories would think I'm having sex with regular Garfield. I killed off John in a jealous rage. I didn't touch Odie, I enjoy his companionship and don't mind if he watches.

Travis: "What. The. Fuck."

Griffin: "The stories are your pretty basic wish fulfillment stuff, balanced with the self loathing rants. I've been doing this for-"

Travis: "Yeah pretty basic stuff, nothing out of the ordinary here."

Griffin: "I've been doing this near daily for years and I have a substantial amount of writing in a folder I keep buried in eight different folders. My girlfriend stumbled across them by accident when it came up in a search and is pretty freaked out. How can I show her I'm just a 'Nermal' guy with a weird outlet for my psychological problems and not some kind of sicko. And they included a sample of some of the erotic fiction and I didn't think I would ever say this on this podcast but it's too gross to read out loud."

Justin: "So the days he has unconsensual sex with Garfield's head on a woman's body…does that happen on Mondays because that would definitely make a lot of sense."

My Brother My Brother and Me, Episode 108: Garfield Monstrosity
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SKIPPER THE EYECHILD

 SKIPPER THE EYECHILD

"My name is Dr. Rick Dagless MD. Who would've thought that that giant eye was once a young man. The guy was undergoing experimental gamma ray treatment for mumps when the eyeball of a sex offender got in the reactor chamber with him. But if you sell your body for medical experiments to make a quick buck you've gotta roll with the punches. At least he was a peace now, on account of being dead."

"What I couldn't work out was how he'd managed to make another man pregnant. I guess we'd never know. So, just to restate that is something we'll never know, you're not gonna find out later."

"As I'm sure you people are aware Wonton's gamma radiation mumps program went west and created a horny giant eye on legs."

"Wonton has reason to believe that the giant eye might have fathered a child."

"Now, she's gone, I can think about the eyechild."

"Trust me it won't be harmed."

"It has a name! It's called Skipper."

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, Skipper The Eyechild

SLIME CREATURE FROM OUTER SPACE

SLIME CREATURE FROM OUTER SPACE

"They were ugly, they were mean

Biggest heads I ever seen

They made everybody scream and shout"

"They got slimy lizard skin

And an evil lookin' grin

And they sure could use some manicures"

"They got hands all covered with fungus

They got eyes like some kinda bug

I sure hope they don't come in here

I just shampooed the rug"

"Weird" Al Yankovic, Slime Creatures From Outer Space