Tailgate, The Dutch Exterminator

Dutch horror films? "Amsterdamned" is the one that comes immediately to mind. Well, we have another. Yep, a weird one that is kind of icky. Perhaps a ballad on politeness, as rudeness is what sets the psycho off in this one. The protagonist? We don't like him. We kind of see the psycho's point of view.  Not that we condone the horrific stuff that he does, but as with much of western Europe, their arrogance is not their friend. Let us look at a 2019 film from The Netherlands, "Tailgate" (aka "Bumperkleef"), directed by Lodewijk Crijns.

As our film begins, Ed, a humongous exterminator in a white van chases down a bicyclist, mows him down, and fills him up with rat poison. You know the Dutch. Apparently the bicyclist was rude to him and cut him off on the road. Fast forward, the twerp Hans (Jeroen Spitzenberger) is herding his snotty family into the family Volvo (I know, you hate them already). His grouchy wife, Diana (Anniek Pheifer), yells at him nonstop.  His two snotty little girls (Liz Vergeer and Roosmarijn van der Hoek) bicker constantly. Late, Hans speeds in traffic and tailgates Ed and his white van. Ed goes psycho and begins terrorizing the family on the road.  The hulking Ed looks to be almost seven feet tall, and when he dons his white HAZMAT suit, and straps on his tank of rat poison, well, it's pretty scary...or as scary as you are going to get in Holland.

He sprays the family and is bent on teaching Hans and Diana manners. The kids scream in horror.  Both Hans and Diana seem to unravel as Ed continues his pursuit. Uh oh...Ed has stolen Hans' phone and knows where his parents live.  Hans' parents are battling dementia and when Ed shows up at their home, more horror. Now Hans' and family arrive at the grandparents house and do not know Ed and his rat poison have beaten him and his family there. An awkward and twisted war develops and Hans will really be put through the ringer as his snotty family is of little help.

Will Hans, and his family, survive the psycho who merely seeks politeness?  Is Ed's evil methods to instill niceness a metaphor for the iron hand used by the European Union to redefine western morality? Will Diana ever shut up and let her husband enjoy a moment of peace? This is a weird one and the villain is ominous and big.  For something a little different, from Europe, see "Tailgate." 

Green Room, Punk Rock Band Shredded

Punk Rock bands don't make the kind of victims that we pull for.  They have no talent and most are high on whatever they can shoot.  Still, by the end of this film, we are pulling for them.  Sure, not as a punk rock  band but as losers in life.  The underdog. The much heralded 2015 film we will look at today is a gore-fest, and even stars that "Star Trek" guy...the bald grouchy guy.  Our film today is "Green Room," directed by Jeremy Soulnier.

The Ain't Rights are the aforementioned band. Not much talent, but they have taken their van across country to play in gigs...that net them only a few measly dollars.  After earning only $6 at their last gig, they drive down near Portland and play at some dive filled with skinheads and neo-National Socialists. It goes...okay.  The crowd got down for their music, and even liked one of them. Pat (Anton Yelchin) is the lead singer and Sam (Alia Shawkat) is the manager. On the way out of the green room the band sees Emily (Taylor Tunes) knifed in the head by Justin (Eric Edelstein). Justin is a big one and holds the band in the room at gunpoint. Uh oh...a lot is going on at this dive bar and the owner, Darcy (Patrick Stewart) is called to manage the clean-up. Clean-up? Yeah...get rid of witnesses and preserve the operation being undertaken in the basement. 

Now Darcy wants the band to come out of the room.  Pat has gotten the gun away from Justin. Uh oh, Emily's bestie, Amber the skinhead babe (Imogen Poots) is also in the room, and she's psycho. Upset at what Justin did to Emily, she...well, it is pretty gory, you'll see. Darcy mobilizes his skinheads and neo-National Socialists to raid the green room, which is locked and barricaded. War ensues. Guns. Machetes. Boxcutters. Fire extinguishers. Attack dogs. You name it. Darcy has a lot to lose if The Ain't Rights get away.  Pat and his band have even more to lose.  Blood will be shed.  Limbs will be destroyed.  Throats will be ripped out. All very yucky.

Do our underdogs have a prayer against an army of skinheads? Will Pat develop a third chord, thus maybe gaining some talent?  Can Pat trust psycho Amber as his band wages war against the neo-National Socialists?  "Green Room" is an ominous one, with much gore, and some heartbreaking deaths.  For a good metaphor of the fate of most Punk Rock bands, see "Green Room." 

American Driller Killer, America's Bloody Decay

Detroit...Washington, DC...Memphis...Baltimore...Philadelphia...Louisville...Atlanta...New York City...Los Angeles...Chicago...take your pick. Arguably, the aforementioned cities can be termed s**t holes. The original title of 2020's "American Driller Killer" was "Detroit Driller Killer," but most major American cities can fit the bill of the setting for this vicious film with an extraordinarily high kill count. The decay of the American city's, if anyone's fault, is the fault of all of us. No elected pol in any of these cities has the brains nor desire to fix them. As Americans continue to get mowed down in these places, at a much higher rate than the Afghanistan death count, perhaps this film by Matt Jassle  should be required viewing.

Reno (Justin Scro) is a loser who can't find a job. He writes screenplays. When the job he lands, to write the script for "Cannibal Inferno," falls through...he goes berserk. First up, after buying a power drill, is his nagging wife Carol (Alyssa Rose Schultz). He'll store her body in the shower and keep talking to her. Reno then goes out for a walk/spree. During this spree he will drill to death hookers, a mugger, and a guy wielding a baseball bat. His rampage will continue the next day after talking to the voices in his head. The punk band Splooge will be drilled.

Reno's victims don't draw much sympathy from us. They are the dregs of society...the creatures that have taken over the inner cities. It is easy to fall into that trap...and we do. You know...that trap when we believe not all human life is sacred...you don't have to admit that out loud. Then, two decent folk get it...and this serves as a wake-up call...perhaps their is something precious  about human life. After these two heartbreaking killings, we the viewer have sobered up. The trash Reno is cleaning off the Detroit streets all of a sudden are human beings to us. Humans with potential for good. This doesn't matter to Reno as the bulk of his murders are ahead.

What will Reno's ultimate death count be as the final credits roll? Is there anything in Reno's hatred that perhaps we can identify in ourselves? Is there any hope for the urban decay that has destroyed our major cities? These aren't rhetoric questions but you can answer them in private. Vicious, grim, gory, and ominous, "American Driller Killer" may be an American parable, or a warning with a call to goodness. 

Tiger's Rampage, Tiger vs. Bachelorettes

Yep, we'll be cheering for the tiger. Five beautiful, and eternally boring dames, doing boring things, being annoying, whining, giggling, and playing lame drinking games. Yep, go tiger! In a gore-fest, hauntingly loyal to the book, we will look at 2026's "Tiger's Rampage," directed by Dominic Nutter.

Hurricane hits England! Go with it. The zoo is decimated and a tiger is now loose on the countryside. It eats two zookeepers, no great loss. Gotta say, the kills are extremely gory. Here they come, a bride-to-be and her four bridesmaids for a bachelorette weekend at a rented mansion near the woods. Oh, Cindy (Francesca Weir) the bride is blind. Her boring friends, one will end up in a bikini, are ready for drinking, marijuana, hot tub frolicking, and the obligatory Truth-or-Dare game. Yawn. Lara (Sophie Jo Beman) is an outsider to the group, but we like her the best. Mya (Paige Haim) brought a bikini and is ready for the hot tub. Louise (Serena Lehman) is a hot blonde who sketches. Then Pepper (Sarah Louise Hill), who is no Angie Dickinson, but she does love crystals and other New Age garbage. I know...bring on the tiger.

Yep, it arrives.  The thing is big and CGI, but identifies as a real tiger, so for the purpose of this review we will consider it a real tiger. It doesn't like these dames either. The gals are ill equipped to battle the monster and blood will splatter all over the place. Blind Cindy will make some dumb mistakes as none of her other senses seem to have enhanced after losing her sight. Pepper's crystals will not stop the onslaught...big surprise there. Oh, even the Truth-or-Dare game won't leads to any prurient revelations. The ending? You will not believe it.  You thought shooting the SCUBA tank in "Jaws" was a great ending! Ha! The ending here is...well...let's just say that Joel and the 'bots would have had a field day with it.

Will the babes all get in bikinis and have a catfight in the hot tub that includes a real cat? Will Cindy find out that one of her girlfriends had an affair with her fiancé? Will Cindy's cane be of any use against a predatory tiger? See "Tiger's Rampage" and realize why the male species is far superior than the female species.

X, When Beauty Flees Us

This Ti West film may be the most disturbing film you will see this decade.  Everything about it is designed to make you squirm and turn your head...and I'm not just talking gore. It should also be noted that this film is the magnum opus for Mia Goth, for reasons you will understand when you see this film... if you decide to watch it. Porn! Weird sex! Gore! Rated X filmmaking! Oh, throw in a gator, for whatever that is worth.  Let us look at the Ti West vicious horror film, 2022's "X."

1979! Remember that year? AIDS wasn't a thing yet, and that is significant because the film will follow a movie crew as they make an indie porn film called "The Farmer's Daughters." Plot? Really? Wayne (Martin Henderson) is the executive producer and is able to rent a rooming house from an old farmer, Howard (Stephen Ure). Really old!  Like almost 100, or so he looks. Now Wayne can have his film shot on a real farm. Howard did not know the purpose Wayne wanted the building, but is not happy...for reasons that will disgust you. Maxine (Goth) is Wayne's GF and an "actress" in the film. Jackson (Kid Cudi) is the male lead and has a big tally-whacker. Jackson's GF and female lead is the buxom Bobby-Lynne (Brittany Snow). The sound girl, Lorraine (Jenna Ortega) is quite a dish and will eventually become an "actress" in this porn film..  Uh oh, Howard's dementia ridden wife is loose and her passions and desires are stoked when she peeps in a window and sees Jackson giving it to Bobby-Lynne.

I didn't mention the director, RJ (Owen Campbell). Lorraine is his GF and he goes ape when she insists on becoming an actress in his film. He storms off and is met by Pearl, who tries to seduce him (yuck!) then stabs him in the neck. Now the dementia ridden Pearl, who has her sexuality from 1920 stoked and re-awakened, tries to seduce everyone and if they rebuff her, gory death awaits. She does have a special place in her heart for Maxine and will, at one point crawl into bed with her and...well, you'll see. Maxine? She looks diminutive but she is always high on cocaine and that will give her spunk. Now, with all the porn going on in the building next to the farm house, the ancient Pearl wants sex from anyone that moves.  This causes discomfort from the youngsters on the crew, and it just may cause their demises, too. 

Gory, vicious, and very uncomfortable, this film will have you reaching over to turn it off, but your hand will never quite make it to the knob (1979 terminology). Oh, get this...the sweet young Maxine is played by Mia Goth...who also plays the ancient Pearl.  You will have to see it to believe it. For one of those horrific horror films we may not want to have seen, you will find yourself unable to change the channel.  See "X," and be warned, you won't be able to unsee it.  

Fall, Over 2000 Feet

A long way down. Over 2000 feet. I have heard there is no fear of heights...it is, in reality, a fear of jumping. You get way up there and all of a sudden the dangers are magnified.  Fear. Panic. Buzzards. Each other. No room for error.  Today we have one that plies some Alfred Hitchcock techniques that build suspense. We also have a couple of gals, neither of which we like, who must battle their own stupid choices to survive. I know, when a woman wants to be independent and empowered, find the men to come save them. Our feature today is 2022's "Fall," directed by Scott Mann.  Let's just hope some men will care enough to save these babes.

Okay, three idiots climb an angry mountain, the mountain wins. Becky (Grace Caroline Currey), her influencer buddy Hunter (Virginia Gardner), and Becky's husband Dan (Mason Gooding). Becky and Dan are so cute...too cute. Dan messes up and falls to his death, traumatizing Becky. Becky should move on, as her dad (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) reminds her. Instead she drowns out her sorrow with alcohol and pills. A year later, her bestie, Hunter, has a proposition for her. Climb the B-67 TV tower...2047 feet! Hunter will post on YouTube, and Becky can face her fears and demons and move on in life. Dan? Still dead...good. It takes some convincing, but Becky realizes Hunter is right, and she does need to move on so she can live. Off they go. Oh, the 2000 foot tower? Not operable anymore and in the middle of nowhere.

The tower looks daunting and is surrounded by buzzards...fit omen. At first the climb is easy...deceptively easy.  On their way up, using the tower's ladder, nuts and bolts are jarred loose from their climbing. Up, up, and away...more bolts fall loose. The geniuses don't care, there is a tragedy to move on from, and likes to be had. They get there. Hunter makes sure her cleavage is front and center...views, you know. Becky has done it. She has conquered her fear and her sorrow. Then, remember all those bolts that fell? The ladder falls off the tower, leaving the babes stuck up there. Now the two must be resourceful and figure out how to get down...other than the obvious way. This won't be easy as gravity is just waiting to give them a hand. Sure, they come up with a few bad ideas, that fail miserably. Then the buzzards come.  Only fair. Just what will the babes do? Post cleavage pics on Instagram, film YouTube segments, and bicker. Dames! Days go by.  People do not come.

Will some men, who won't do anything stupid, arrive to save these two broads?  Is Hunter's cleavage worth more than a few hits on Instagram? Will two babes, stuck in the same place for more than 10 minutes, end up murdering one another? I gotta give the moviemakers credit, it really does look realistic, like they actually filmed 2000 feet up. If you are afraid of heights, this is not the film for you. The suspense is very Hitchcockian. See "Fall," ignore the clickbait cleavage, and enjoy a suspenseful woman vs. tower movie.

 

The Power, Not the Higher One

What a weird movie. Almost hallucinogenic. Psychedelic, maybe. A techno-thriller! Right, it is from 1968. Mad scientists working on a government contract go spastic. Think of Dr. Fauci and Josef Mengele with no supervision. You know we're in trouble when the government and the military industrial complex want to study the human threshold for pain. Lab rats? Ha! People! Sure, why not? What could go wrong!? Just ask Lord Acton. Our feature today is "The Power," directed by Byron Haskin.

Mr. Nordlund (Michael Rennie) arrives from the government to provide supervision at a university's laboratory which is working on the aforementioned experiment. He is very interested in Jim Tanner's (George Hamilton) experiment in isolating the area of the brain that processes pain. The team converges for a staff meeting and the weird mad scientist Henry Hallson (Arthur O'Connell) is unnerved. Why? Ethics or pain? No! He has figured it out. He has passed out a survey and determines someone in the group has the power. What power? The power to control everyone, control nature, control physiology, control hormones, control the past and future. No, Fauci is not in this group. There is a problem, he doesn't know who the person is. He tries an experiment and this confirms he's right. Also in the group is Van Zandt (Richard Carlson), Scott (Earl Holliman), Margery Lansing (Suzanne Pleshette), and Dr. Melnicker (Nehemiah Persoff).

That night...Hallson is murdered in the most unusual way. Enter Detective Corlane (Gary Merrill). Oh, Tanner and Lansing are lovers. Guess what Corlane finds out. Tanner has no verifiable past.  His university and past employments, listed on his resume, have never heard of him. Now fired, Lansing tries to figure out who is framing him and who is the one with the power. He visits Hallson's widow (Yvonne De Carlo)...she is now happier that her husband is dead. Uh oh...she can't even remember her husband. Tanner heads into the California desert to track down a name written on Hallson's notepad.  The team members die in weird circumstances, one by one, and Tanner finds that everyone who knows of this mystery man, either has been brainwashed, or dies. Only Margery seeks to help Tanner clear his name and figure out who this superior being is.

Confused? Well, the ending will pull all this together and provide a proper moral for possessing this almost absolute power.  Is Tanner really a fraud, and is he the one with the power?  Is the nubile Margery, who doesn't seem to be vital for the project, too helpful, thus the one with the power? If Tanner is not the one with the power, why doesn't the being with the power just kill him? It'll take you several minutes to figure out what you just saw beyond the end credits.  Still, it is worth it.  See "The Power" and revisit one of the greatest warnings delivered to humanity.