New Cover: I Won’t Back Down

Because this is a sentiment that is surely timely.

In addition to singing, I’m playing bass on this one. I tried chugging along with the guitar but it sounded just terrible, so the guitars on this one are courtesy of UJAM, and some MIDI programming on my part for the solo.

Also, I wasn’t intentionally trying for a Tom Petty-like drawl, but damn it’s hard to sing a Tom Petty song without one, so here we are. I hope wherever he is in the universe right now, Tom is not rolling his eyes too hard about it.

Enjoy.

— JS

The Scalzi Family Foundation is Donation Matching for the Documentary “One Act,” Directed by Pamela Ribon

It’s fair to say that Pamela Ribon and I have come up together in the world. Back in the before times, she and I both started blogging when blogs were still called “online journals,” and our first novels came out close to each other. Since then she’s become a force in animation, working on story and screenplays for Moana, Ralph Breaks the Internet and the animated short My Year of Dicks, for which she received an Oscar nomination, which is pretty damn cool, if you ask me. For a quarter of a century now we’ve stayed friends, supported each other, and celebrated our successes.

Pamela went to high school in Texas, which is where she participated in the UIL One Act Play, the largest theatrical competition in the world. Students and their teachers (22,000 of them!) enter a timed theatrical performance judged on acting and tech, watched by an audience of students and parents, three judges, and a 103-page rule book. Pamela turned her filmmaker eye to one year of the competition, following several schools across the state as they fought their way through the ranks— with all the tears and triumphs and, yes, drama, that entails. That’s now become a film, called, sensibly enough, One Act.

The filming of One Act is done, and now comes the post-production phase, where the film is edited, scored and otherwise made ready for festivals and public presentation, in time for the UIL One Act Play’s 100th anniversary. That takes money, and Pamela and her team could use some help with that. This is where we come in: The Scalzi Family Foundation has pledged $5,000 in matching funds to encourage folks to make a (tax deductible!) donation to help One Act get over its own finish line in post-production. Any amount you donate will be matched by the SFF, up to that $5k (although hopefully they will bring in more than that).

We’re supporting One Act not just because Pamela is a filmmaker worth supporting, but because we think this could be an important film. It brings a spotlight to a part of Texas life that isn’t well-known outside of its borders, and shows a part of the life of the state that can be surprising, and challenging, to outsiders. The UIL One Act competition inspires young creative folks, and changes lives, and that’s a story that’s worth telling, and making a really cool film about.

If this sounds like a film that you would like to help support getting into theaters, here’s the link to One Act’s site, which includes information on how to donate. Again, in the US, these are tax-deductible donations, so that’s pretty nifty. Every donation for the first $5k is matched by the Scalzi Family Foundation, so please feel free to spend our money with yours. We want you to, in fact.

(Also, if you feel like being a big-time donor, like in the five-figure range and above, which comes with its own tier of recognition, there’s contact information on the linked page where you can inquire about that. Go on, do it! You know you want to!)

I’m super proud of Pamela for making this film, and for everything she’s done, and happy the Scalzi Family Foundation can help to get this film that much closer to release. I hope you’ll be inspired to come along for this journey as well.

And if you are: Thank you.

— JS

Flowermaxxing Friday

That’s right y’all, you’re getting another flower picture! I know, I can hardly believe it myself, but spring is just turning out so beautifully here and I just feel so compelled to share the blossoms with you.

Today’s bloom is a peony (I think), from a peony bush along the side of the house:

A large, fully opened, beautiful pink peony flower.

I am thrilled to have another beautiful blooming plant in the yard, especially because it’s pink! It’s actually very close to where the wisteria is, too. Also this one is in the shape of a heart:

A peony blossom that has opened up in a way that it very closely resembles a heart. It pretty much looks just like the pink heart emoji.

That genuinely made me smile so much while I was taking the photo. Like, how cute is that.

I hope y’all are having a great start to your weekend, and that you see many blooms this spring!

-AMS

The Big Idea: Thomas Elrod

It can be hard to have solid opinions and identities when we live in a world of mixed messages and misinformation. With propaganda running rampant, how can we be sure if reality is really real? Author Thomas Elrod plays with this idea of a false reality in his newest novel, The Franchise. Tune in to his Big Idea to see how one man’s fiction may be another man’s reality.

THOMAS ELROD:

I think we are all a little fatigued by the long-running IP franchises on TV and in movies. Sure, we all had a good time watching Harrison Ford return as Han Solo or were happy to see Captain America wield Thor’s hammer, but lately? Eh? It all feels tired, as long-running franchises often do. Good thing Hollywood has plenty of other films and shows in development and we can look forward to some fresh stories in the coming years…

Okay, so there’s the rub. It certainly feels like not only will our big cultural mega-franchises not be retired, it is as if they can’t be. Too much of the shareholder value of Disney or Warner Brothers or Netflix is wrapped up in these very expensive properties for these very large corporations (always merging together into even larger corporations) to ever stop. They can’t. They have to continue generating revenue and growth.

What happens to culture if it can never stop recycling itself?

My big idea was this. I wanted to imagine a film franchise that just kept on going forever, kept expanding and looking for new ways to juice the IP. I was partially inspired by the failed Star Wars hotel, which tried to create an immersive storytelling experience for guests in Disney World, but which was too expensive and wonky. However, it’s not hard to see how Disney was using that experience to commodify LARPing and cosplay and other fan activities into something they could monetize and turn into content.

So I did the thing Science Fiction writers do and I extrapolated, imagining a Truman Show-esque environment where a film studio sets up a living set of a popular fantasy film franchise and populates it with people who have had their memories changed to believe they are real characters in this world. Plots are put into motion, writers and actors are hired to push the story along, and everything is secretly filmed. It’s pitched to fans as a limited-time experience, where you can sign up to have your memory temporarily altered so you can live in this world you love so much. Surely, nothing will go wrong!

The challenge as a writer is how to sustain this concept for the course of an entire novel and also how to build a real story out of it. This is always the problem with high-concept ideas. It’s one thing to come up with a hook, it’s another to create interesting characters and engage them in the twists and turns of an effective story that doesn’t become repetitive.

For me, the thing I held onto was the larger “What if” that this concept suggests, which isn’t just about intellectual property in Hollywood but about one’s identity in a world of misinformation. We all live in a kind of constructed reality, whether we know it or not, based on our sources of news, social media, entertainment, etc. We all know people who seem to live and exist in a totally different conception of the world than our own, and this is both baffling and frustrating. But we still have agency over our own lives, and if we want to spend our energy on, say, denying the efficacy of vaccines or insisting a fair election was rigged, to what extent does a person need to take responsibility for those opinions and to what extent is it possible (or ethical) to blame their misinformation reality on their beliefs?

This is a thornier question but also one which provided a way into the story, which very early on I knew was going to include many different character POVs, some from people who play a minor role in the actual plot but whose perspective ends up being different or interesting. Since some people in the story know what is really going on, some have partial information or suspect something, and some have their own views on what is happening despite possibly knowing what is “real,” the great gift of interior and perspective that fiction affords was my way to start building characters and story. My book would be about this confluence of perspectives, and what happens when they clash into one another.

Along the way there was lots of opportunity for light satire about Hollywood, deconstruction of modern fantasy storytelling, and a lot else, but being able to marry theme and structure was the key to making sure my Big Idea, my book’s hook, actually worked and remained interesting over 350 pages. It ended up being a blast to write, so I hope that comes across to everyone else and that they have just as good a time reading it.


The Franchise: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop|Powell’s

Author Social: Website|Instagram|Bluesky|Threads

Read an excerpt on Reactor.

Suddenly, Irises!

Athena started the bloomposting yesterday and here is my contribution: the irises in our front yard, which are in their annual two-week period of blooming, followed by 50 weeks of just being green shrubs. Still, for those two weeks, it’s pretty great to look at.

The irises have come in nicely this year

John Scalzi (@scalzi.com) 2026-05-14T12:42:09.714Z

I of course can take no credit for these irises. Krissy planted them several years ago and tends to them annually; I just go out and take pictures of them when they’ve all popped. Still, I flatter myself that I take some fairly decent pictures of them. And then you get to appreciate them as well! So, please do.

This concludes our bloomposting for today, now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

— JS

The Big Idea: Sam Beckbessinger

We’ve all got a beast inside us, waiting to be unleashed. For some, they never hold it back. For others, they keep it caged until it can be repressed no longer. Enter author Sam Beckbessinger, whose fury led to the creation of her newest novel, Femme Feral.

SAM BECKBESSINGER: 

My new novel Femme Feral didn’t grow out of a Big Idea so much as an emotion, or rather, the lack of one. 

About a decade ago I was walking around Cape Town on my way to a friend’s birthday. It was one of those perfect picnic-dress days, a spring-in-your-step song-in-your-heart kind of summer afternoon. Then I realised some dude was following me. I did the things all women do. Reached into my handbag and clutched my keys. Scanned for easy exit routes or an open shop I could dash into. Sped up my walk, but not too much, because you don’t want to over-react or trigger his prey drive. This wasn’t the first time I’d been followed, obviously, but something about this time was different. I wasn’t only afraid, I was furious. I’d been having a lovely day until this creep ruined it! And I found myself having a fantasy I’d never had before: that I could reach into my bag and pull out a gun, turn to him, and make him feel afraid.

This was a shock. I’ve never been an angry person. I hate guns and I loathe violence. So much so, I’ve wondered before whether something was wrong with me. Spend time with any toddler and you’ll see that fury’s a foundational human emotion, yet it’s one I’ve barely ever felt. I’ve been a lifelong good girl, empathetic, nurturing, forgiving – sometimes to my detriment. I started to wonder, what happens to feelings you never feel? Are they still there somewhere inside of you, hidden, waiting? Do they mutate? And when they do finally come roaring out, will they be uglier for having been locked away for so long? 

Femme Feral grew out of those questions. It’s the story of a hypercompetent tech executive in her forties who thinks she’s going through perimenopause, but she’s actually turning into a werewolf. She doesn’t realise it, but once a month, she transforms into a violent beast who savagely mauls everyone who pisses her off in her waking life. The problem is, sometimes it’s the people you love who hurt you the most. Oh, also, there’s an obsessive monster-hunter on her trail – an eighty-four year old vigilante named Brenda who’s trying to find the creature that killed her cat.

The perimenopause part was fun to write, because that’s a joke about how the medical industry still somehow, in 2026, knows about as much about perimenopause as it knows about lycanthropy. When I wrote it, I was myself approaching forty, seeing the first signs of my own oncoming werewolf era (perimenopause usually begins earlier than most people think!). I can’t tell you how many of my friends I’ve seen go to the doctor to get help for a range of confusing midlife symptoms and instead of being given any actual help, the doctor suggests maybe they should try losing some weight. 

But the gorgeous thing about midlife is that it’s also – for many of us – the age our lifelong coping strategies begin to fail, and we’re forced to reckon with everything we’ve been repressing. Anger is an unacceptable emotion in women, so many of us repress it or transform it into something else. The beautiful thing about midlife, for many of us, is that our bodies no longer allow us to do that. Some of us have quite exciting breakdowns that lead to healthy realisations and overdue dramatic life changes; some of us lure our toxic bosses into an alleyway and rip their intestines out. Whatever a girl’s got to do.

This is exactly what I love so much about horror: how it allows you to speak the language of metaphor and play with our most primal emotions. It amuses me, too, that the werewolf is one of the most stubbornly masculine of monsters in our culture because we still find it impossible to imagine women as uncontrollably violent (there are some glorious exceptions, of course, from Ginger Snaps to Alan Moore’s “The Curse” to Rachel Yoder’s Nightbitch). 

Unlike my previous novel Girls of Little Hope, which I co-wrote with my friend Dale Halvorsen and which we carefully planned and outlined before writing a word of prose, the first draft of Femme Feral came out of me in a hot stinking vomit (almost like … it had been curdling inside of me all this time). The first draft was a half-formed hideous thing, which I then spent several years pulling into the shape of a novel. Many spreadsheets were involved, since control is my coping mechanism of choice. 

I had a blast taking a wild premise and then trying to work through the consequences very seriously. If you could rip someone’s head off, whose head would tempt you first? What would an NHS GP say if you told him that once a month you find yourself naked and covered in blood on the other side of town with no memory of how you got there? And the question that probably vexed me more than any other (and John Landis never had to deal with): how the heck is this beast roaming all around modern London without being spotted by CCTV?

The process of writing this story was deeply therapeutic for me. I’m not sure I’ve fully worked out exactly what I think about anger, but a novel’s not a polemic so it doesn’t require you to have an argument. It only requires you to have some questions, and then to get in touch with the parts of yourself that might be asking them. In my case, that was a furious beast I had been telling myself wasn’t even there. 

—-

Femme Feral: Amazon (US)|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop|Powell’s|UK 

Author socials: Website|Instagram

I Didn’t Even Know American Wisteria Was A Thing

Spring is in full swing here in Ohio and it has been both very beautiful and very allergy-inducing. One of the more beautiful aspects is that there is apparently a ton of American Wisteria wrapped around my pergola by the garage, and I find it to be extremely pretty. See for yourself:

A beautiful blossom of the American Wisteria, purple and clustered together into almost hydrangea like shapes.

This particular bloom is more open and blossomed than the others, hence why I took its photo. Before they bloomed, they all looked like tiny purple pinecones. I had no idea that they would open up into these beautiful flower clusters. I’m absolutely thrilled these are wrapped completely around my pergola. I notice their beauty every time I leave my house.

Very grateful to have some pretty purple flowers around.

Have you seen American Wisteria before? Perhaps you’ve seen the wisteria in Japan before? Let me know in the comments, and have a great day!

-AMS

The Big Idea: Ada Hoffman

When it comes down to it, all humanity really has at the end of the day is our stories. Telling stories around the fire is a tale as old as humans themselves, and author Ada Hoffman expresses the importance of these stories, and the importance of being human, in the Big Idea for their newest novel, Ignore All Previous Instructions.

ADA HOFFMAN:

When I tell people the premise of Ignore All Previous Instructions, they often remark how it reminds them of real life these days. In Ignore, the characters live in a space colony on Callisto where a generative AI company owns everything – and where making art or telling stories, without the AI’s assistance, is strictly not allowed.

Certainly there are parallels between this dystopian premise and my life in 2026 – working as an adjunct for a university computer science department where the people in charge keep yelling about the “pivot to AI” and how terrible it will be if we don’t all get on board.

But I wrote Ignore in 2023.

Publishing is slow, and novelists write about current events at our own peril. In 2023, I could see which way the tech industry hype train was going, but there was no way to know if it would still be going that direction three years later. I hoped it wouldn’t be. I decided to write the story anyway and see how it landed, because the topic was so close to my professional expertise and so close to my heart.

Another part of the novel, even closer to my heart and equally timely, was the problem of queer self-expression and book bans.

In 2023, I was at an early stage in therapy. I was just starting to think back, in ways I hadn’t allowed myself before, about how some of my experiences growing up had shaped me. This included a lot of things, many of them not germane to this post, but it also included the experience of growing up queer without understanding that that’s what it was.

My gut told me that I needed to write about these experiences – more urgently than I had ever needed to write about anything before.

In 2023, we were already seeing book bans and “Don’t Say Gay” laws. I didn’t know if that trend was going to continue for three years, either. I hoped it wouldn’t. But I couldn’t help but look at that news and think of my own childhood. I eventually did find words and concepts for what I was experiencing, although not necessarily in the healthiest way. The generation after me was given so much more, in terms of words and ways of understanding themselves. It galled me to see reactionaries trying to take that away from them again.

When I put these two urgently emerging problems together, I could see that they had one big thing in common. They were both, at heart, about the deep human need to express one’s own feelings – and a powerful movement that threatened to take it away.

AI writing is not an expression of the genuine heartfelt thought or experience of a human. If it is carefully prompted to express a human’s heartfelt thought, then the thought comes from the human, not the AI. Research shows that, the longer we use a generative AI, the less our own thoughts enter into it; instead, offloading our thinking onto an AI causes our own capacity for independent thought to atrophy. Given the fervor and urgency with which tech companies urge us to use AI for everything, one might be forgiven for suspecting that this atrophy is their goal.

Moreover, because it’s trained to predict the most likely continuation of a set of words, AI writing will always converge toward the most mainstream or most common way of looking at something. The mainstream of the training data – essentially, the whole Internet, plus all the published books that the tech companies could find – is not queer. Even without any deliberate censorship, the perspectives of queer people and other minoritized groups are less likely to be considered in an AI’s output. For the same reason, if the AI is deliberately prompted to represent a queer perspective, it will rely on broad averages and stereotypes – not the lived and felt experience of an individual human who is queer.

But in hard times like these, independent thought based on our own lived experience is exactly what we need. This is the skill that helps us to understand when something is not quite right, or doesn’t quite match the truth of our lives – whether it’s a structural injustice or something personal.

Ignore All Previous Instructions tells the story of characters who grow up caught in a system where their own thoughts and voices are not valued, and who find ways – determinedly and imperfectly – to tell their own stories regardless. If there’s one idea readers take away from the book, I hope it’s the beauty and power of storytelling in our own words – and the need to hold on to it in the face of an establishment which would rather our stories weren’t told.


Ignore All Previous Instructions: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop

Author socials: Website|Bluesky

Read an excerpt.

57

I’m fifty-seven today, and today is the first birthday that I can actually say that I can really feel I’m getting older. I have an arthritic knee now, which if I don’t take medication for will remind me that it’s arthritic; it’s also the first thing with my body (other than occasional seasonal allergies) that I habitually have to take a pill for. On the cosmetic level, the structure of my neck has begun to collapse, and while some of that has to do with the fact I’m carrying more weight around than I have before, I suspect that even when I get down to a more comfortable weight for me (this is on the “to do” list for my fifty-seventh year), the lack of structure will still be there. My already very thin hair up top has become even thinner. I have started wearing cardigans.

On the other hand, my career is going great, my family is terrific, and I’m married to the best human I know. I see friends often, I travel all over the place to see people who are happy I’ve come to where they are, and I get to do with my life pretty much what I’ve ever wanted to do. Is that all worth the arthritic knee and the collapsing neck structure? Well, here’s the thing: At this point in the game, the arthritic knee and collapsing neck structure would be happening anyway, regardless of the circumstances of my life. On balance, I have very little to complain about on this, my fifty-seventh birthday, and much to be happy for and grateful about.

So that’s what I’m going to focus on. It’s a good day where I am, and I hope it’s a good day where you are, too. Happy my birthday to you! And many more!

— JS

Hey, “AI” Still Sucks

Your occasional reminder that "AI" is shit: Every assertion in this "AI Overview" of the question "What coffee does John Scalzi drink" is wrong. I don't regularly drink coffee (and never black) I've never had black sesame jasmine cream tea, and I don't hang in coffee shops. Don't trust "AI" ever!

John Scalzi (@scalzi.com) 2026-05-08T16:24:42.334Z

I still ask “AI” questions about me from time to time, just to see what it knows about a moderately notable science fiction author and whether it will still make up things when it doesn’t know something, and as of May 8, 2026, the answer to each is “not as much as it thinks it does,” and “it definitely will.”

As always, I remind myself: If it knows this little about something I know very well, think of how little it knows about things I know nothing about. It literally cannot be trusted with anything factual (because, one again, it doesn’t know facts, it just knows what is statistically likely to be the next word), and thinking that can be is an actual intellectual hazard and fault. Don’t be the one who does that.

— JS

The Big Idea: Jill Rosenberg

While it may seem like fantasy is as far from the real world as possible, author Jill Rosenberg suggests that indulging in fantasies and fiction actually connects people instead of isolating them from reality. Dive in to the Big Idea for her newest release, Now I’m Photogenic and Other Stories I Tell Myself, and see if our desires are really just human nature.

JILL ROSENBERG:

People often think of fantasy and the imagination as ways to escape reality, but I think there’s a more complicated and fraught relationship between the two. What we long for, the ways we wish to escape—this grows out of our real experiences of the world. But the reverse is true as well: our “real” experiences are colored by our fantasies. 

We might, for example, wish to be an Olympic-level athlete, as one of my characters does, but this wish highlights the absence of her athletic talent, which may not have shown up as an absence if she’d never longed to be an elite athlete. That feeling of absence and desire drives her behavior, which changes her reality, and the resulting experience changes her understanding of herself and what she really wants.

Our imagination can’t free us from the world because our imagination is made from the world.  But it can alter the way we see things and what feels possible. The first story in my collection is called “The Logic of Imaginary Friends.” This is where I present this big idea most directly. A single mother is left lonely and longing when her eleven-year-old daughter goes to sleepaway camp for the first time, so she reunites with her imaginary friend from childhood.

It’s great at first, until one imaginary friend is not enough, no matter how she morphs him in her mind to meet her shifting needs and desires. The fantasies are fun, but not satisfying, and she begins to feel that she’s choosing this fantasy life over her life with her daughter, but does she have to choose between the two?

As a child, I used my imagination to revise reality. Every Thanksgiving I’d feel so excited for my cousins to visit. I’d imagine myself gregarious, irresistible, rehearsing all of the interactions I’d have, writing their dialogue and mine. But when they arrived, I could never be that person or get the response from them I wanted.

Later that night, however, I could rewrite the dialogue to be more plausible but equally thrilling, given what actually happened. That was always my favorite part of the holiday, alone in my room, taking what happened and transforming it into the holiday I longed for. But the bigger the gulf between my fantasies and reality, the less I was able to enjoy the fantasies or the reality.

It’s this competing desire that compelled me to write these stories: the desire to be known, seen, recognized and special, to connect with those around us, and the desire to hide what makes us unique, to pretend we’re no different from everyone else.

On the one hand, my characters are often reminding themselves of their freedom. Maybe they really can be anything they want to be, but when they try to do it, out in the world, it’s not so easy. They can’t control reality or other people’s responses the way they can control their fantasies. But the more they shy away and hide from the real world, the more that fear of reality infects their fantasies, or, in the surreal stories, the events of their fantastical lives. As a result, their fantasies and their lives get weirder and worse. 

Of course, my strange characters and the unusual things that happen to my characters all stem from my own strangeness and my unusual thoughts and experiences. In my real life, I do not always feel like showcasing the ways in which I deviate from the norm, but I am happy and proud to put my strange and unusual characters out into the world because I do think that fiction shows us new and different ways of being. 

The role of fiction, even surreal fiction, is to bring us closer to the experience of being a human in the real world. That marriage between—and tension between—dream and reality is what I find most thrilling and ultimately satisfying in both my writing and my life.


Now I’m Photogenic and Other Stories I Tell Myself: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop|Powell’s|Watchung Booksellers

Author socials: Website|Instagram

Read an excerpt of one story from the collection: The Logic of Imaginary Friends

Getting Decked

The current state of the new back deck: In progress!

The astute among you, who also remember anything about the previous deck, will notice two differences so far. Most obviously, those tall posts, which will serve for framing a roof, and rather less obviously, the new deck is going to be flush with the patio door where the previous one had a step down. Why did it have a step down? Because, apparently, why not. Krissy decided she could do without the step down so here we are. This will mean that the stairs from the deck to the walkway will have one more step, but this is a choice we are ready to make.

I think it’s looking good, although when it’s done we’ll have some further decorating and landscaping choices to make. This is the way of all home improvements.

More updates as warranted. Expect at least a couple more before it’s all done.

— JS

Trying Out A New Recipe: Sugar Spiced Dreams “Banana Coffee Cake Muffins”

One of my friends recently told me she’s pregnant with her second child, and as much as I love nice cards I knew I wanted to do something a little more for her, so I asked her to tell me what baked good she was really craving. She answered muffins, and my muffin making journey began.

Though she never specified what kind of muffins she wanted, my mind immediately went to a coffee cake type of muffin. In my experience, coffee cake always hits the spot, and there is virtually no one who doesn’t love cinnamon and brown sugar (shout out to the one person I know who is allergic to cinnamon). I just needed to find a good recipe for such muffins.

In my search for coffee cake muffins, I came across this video, showing banana coffee cake muffins:

I knew this recipe was the one. Banana bread vibes enhanced by cinnamon brown sugar streusel?! Yes, please!

Looking at the recipe, it’s very interesting because it uses butter, neutral oil, eggs, and sour cream. So you already know we are in for a MOIST muffin. Especially with the addition of the bananas.

Honestly this recipe is very good for a casual home baker, as there’s nothing weird or hard to come by on the ingredients list. I only had to go buy sour cream and bananas, everything else I had on hand. Though I did use the very last of my flour and brown sugar for this, so sadly I will need to replenish those on my next grocery trip.

Anyways, let me tell you, this recipe is super quick and easy and these taste so flippin’ good! They were so good that I decided to make them again, and this time document it for y’all. So technically this was my second time.

Here’s the ingredients lineup:

King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose flour, Domino dark brown sugar and granulated sugar, Nielson-Massey vanilla, Kerrygold unsalted butter, two bananas, Daisy sour cream, two Vital Farms brown eggs, baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon.

If you’ve got a keen eye, you’ll notice I left the oil out of the photo. That was an accident, so just imagine a tall bottle of Crisco Vegetable Oil in the photo. Thanks.

The recipe says to make the streusel first, and I have no arguments against that, so I did! The first time I made it, my butter was cold and cubed like the recipe says, but the second time it was definitely not as cold. But the streusel turned out fine, in my not-so-expert opinion:

A bowl full of crumbly brown streusel. Looks like wet sand, really.

You want your streusel to kind of be like wet sand. At least, that’s what I’ve heard in the past. I covered this with a tea towel and put it in the fridge while I worked on the batter.

The first step of the batter is to mash the bananas and mix in all the wet ingredients. Finally a recipe that adds the bananas to the wet ingredients instead of making you add them at the end. Lookin’ at you, Joy of Cooking.

It says to mix until smooth and glossy, and that’s looking pretty glossified to me:

A bowl of beige sludge with a whisk in it.

For both times I made these muffins, I actually did not melt the butter fully. It was just very, very soft butter, not liquid. So, melt if you want, but I don’t think it matters too much. Everything whisked together super easy!

In the recipe, it says to mix the dry ingredients in a separate bowl and then fold into the wet ingredients, but why not make this a one bowl batter and just throw the dry ingredients in right on top of the wet, and then mix? Makes more sense to me. Here’s the completed batter:

A big bowl of beige batter!

I always use cupcake liners because I hate trying to get muffins unstuck from the pan, plus my pan is kind of not in incredible shape. It’s seen better days, so liners it is.

The recipe says to fill the cups halfway, then add a layer of streusel, then pour more batter and finish off with a top layer of streusel. So here’s the tricky part. How do you know how much streusel to use on the half-cup-layer to ensure that you have a decent amount in the layer, but also ensure that you don’t use too much and make it so the top layer is weak? You have to prioritize the top layer’s condition, but make sure there’s at least some in the middle.

Honestly, my line of thought is to have a decent crumble, but make sure you’re not completely covering the batter. Like you want to be able to see the batter. Then, when you do the top layer, that’s when you cover the batter completely and make it a very full layer of streusel that can’t be seen through. So here’s the half layer:

A dozen half full cupcake liners topped with some streusel.

See how there’s like, a good amount of crumbles in there but you can still clearly see the batter through the spaces? Here’s the top layer:

The final state of the muffins before baking. Each liner is full to the top and has a bunch of streusel on top.

Almost no batter visible at this point. I used every crumb of streusel in the damn bowl (ignore the streusel crumbs in the middle parts of the pan). These were ready to bake.

One interesting thing about this recipe that I haven’t really seen before is that she says to bake them at 400 degrees Fahrenheit and then reduce the temperature to 350 after five minutes, without opening the oven door. How intriguing! I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. Regardless, I listened and reduced it to 350 and baked for 13 minutes since it said 12 to 15.

They come out a little ugly, but they smell incredible:

A tin full of baked, golden brown muffins!

The streusel sort of just melds into the top of the muffin instead of being a defined layer on top, so they just kinda look bumpy and weird. But I promise they taste damn good. Look at that crumb!

The cross section of the soft muffin, presenting a moist crumb and golden brown exterior.

These are super soft, moist, flavorful muffins with a delish crunchy, sweet cinnamon streusel topping. There’s cinnamon in the streusel and the batter itself, so you’re getting a lot of warm flavor here. The banana is an enhancement, not a detraction.

I gave the first batch to my friend like I mentioned, and she told me they were “AMAZING” and “insanely good” and literally told me to come back and get one immediately so I could try it myself. Thankfully, I had enough ingredients to make a second batch shortly after, and now y’all can try it for yourself.

Some of the muffins from the first batch had a weird issue of sinking in a little bit on the top in the middle, but the second batch didn’t have that issue. Not sure why.

Anyways, this recipe is going to be one I return to often. These are perfect just to gift to friends and family, or have on hand for a morning snack with your coffee. I highly recommend giving them a try.

Do you like banana bread or coffee cake better? Would you try this delish combo? Let me know in the comments, and have a great day!

-AMS

The Big Idea: Andrew Dana Hudson

While we all know that technically our lives could end at any moment, sometimes that fact can feel far away. Author Andrew Dana Hudson brings that little known fact into the spotlight in his newest novel, Absence. Come along in his Big Idea as you think about what you would be leaving behind if you were to suddenly, mysteriously, become absent.

ANDREW DANA HUDSON:

What if people could disappear at any moment? How would the world adapt?

We were a year into the pandemic, and I was riding my bike, trying to get out of the house I’d kept myself cooped up in since the previous March. I found myself thinking about the weird pseudo-raptures that had shown up in pop culture over the last few years, like the “Thanos Snap” in the Avengers movies, or the “Sudden Departure” in The Leftovers—big supernatural events that impact everyone all at once. Where were the slow, crawling, banal supernatural disasters? Metaphysical catastrophes less like the rapture and more like the pandemic, or climate change: complex, unfolding, uneven, during which people have to go on living their lives despite unprecedented circumstances.

I got home, got off my bike, and wrote what would become the first chapter of my novel Absence. In this world, people are vanishing into thin air—with a loud popping sound—but it isn’t all at once. It’s one by one by one. Sometimes there are spikes, but mostly it’s ambient. It can happen to anyone, any time, which means everyone is wondering when it’s going to happen to them or their loved ones. Some fear it, others ignore it. A few are eager for it, for wherever people go when they pop. There are fakers and scammers and conspiracy theorists. A few tired bureaucrats try their best to manage the situation. We develop new norms and institutions and infrastructure, without ever ceasing to feel that it’s all so strange.

For me, writing this book was a way to process and capture in fiction the looming dread that I’d felt over my shoulder ever since the first COVID lockdowns. It was existential as much as epidemiological. A fear that an invisible force could reach into my life and take away someone whose presence I’d relied on.

Of course, people have always been mortal, fragile. We’re all a heart attack or a car accident or a well-placed meteor away from being out of the picture. But during that first pandemic year, that inherent human fungibility felt much more present in daily life and public spaces. And when people did get sick, they often disappeared, into quarantine or ICU intubation or, in a few places, mass graves. Death became both more and less present in our lives, and that was something I wanted to explore.

So what would you do? How would you live if you or the people you care about might be gone tomorrow, or the next second? And how would we as a society cope if we couldn’t rely on everyone showing up every day to do the jobs that keep all the economic gears turning together?

In Absence, drivers vanishing on the highway cause enough crashes that solo car travel is discouraged, and pilots popping mid-flight have travelers feeling safer on trains. Theater productions need extra understudies. A lot quickly becomes automated. People try to keep an eye on each other, because the worst thing is to disappear without anyone to tell your loved ones you’re gone. Trust in institutions erodes—which we’ve seen happen in our world too, but here is supercharged by the impossible-to-explain nature of this supernatural phenomenon.

When I started, I thought I was writing a short story. Instead, I found this premise just kept on giving me new wrinkles to explore, and so I kept writing, until I had a whole novel with a twisty mystery and a messy X-Files–style romance. And lots of jokes, since as dark as it was, 2020 was the funniest year of my life. Everyone was suddenly online together, riffing about the many absurdities of our new situation and flailing government. I spent half my days in group chats, laughing at bad memes until I cried. Tragedy and farce were all rolled up in one.

It’s always bothered me that we never got vaccine Mardi Gras, a sudden moment in which we could all hug each other and dance together without fear. We just got more unfolding, more arguments, more slow disaster. For me, exploring this big idea and writing this book eventually provided a lot of that catharsis I’d looked forward to.

My initial big idea turned out to have a lot to say about COVID culture and how we’ve been frog-boiled by climate breakdown, but also about how uncertain and contingent life is and has always been. We tell our family and partners we’ll always love them, but often it doesn’t work out that way. We make plans and then throw them to the wind. We think we’re on solid ground, and it turns out to be so much quicksand. That’s just part of being human. Finding meaning and companionship despite all that is the challenge we wake up with every day, each day perhaps the last before something makes us pop.


Absence: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop|Powell’s

Author socials: Website|Instagram|Facebook|Threads|Substack

The Big Idea: Martha Conway

Do we as a society tend to abide by the phrase, “if you love something, let it go,” or are we more likely to dig our claws in and refuse to part ways? Author Martha Conway discusses in the Big Idea for her newest novel, We Meet Apart, just how impactful the absence of family members and loved ones can be, and what it feels like to be left behind.

MARTHA CONWAY:

When I was twenty-three, three of my five older sisters divorced themselves from our family. They took care to tell me that their issues were with my parents, not me, but nevertheless, I didn’t see or hear from them in over ten years. They didn’t attend my wedding, which hurt me deeply—it seemed to me that their non-relationship with my parents was more important to them than a relationship with me. 

My feelings back then were tumultuous. I missed my sisters, I was angry, I was confused, and I was sad—often, it felt like, simultaneously. Later, when my mother died quite suddenly, I felt the same way: an avalanche of mixed emotions.

What do you do when a loved one leaves, or dies? Would you follow them if you could, even if it meant giving up your own independence, your own future? And how do you honor all the many emotions you feel without drowning in them?

In my speculative historical novel We Meet Apart, two American sisters find themselves stranded in Ireland in 1940, but in two separate worlds. They believe their whole family has died. One sister, Gaby, is devastated with grief but lives a comfortable life; her younger sister Sabine is angry and must fight to survive in a war-torn country. When they finally meet—for only an hour a day, at dusk, in that thin veil between two worlds—they must decide whether to stay together or part, probably forever. Staying together is familiar and comfortable, but it doesn’t allow for their personal growth. Parting means growth, separation, and possibly danger.

As I was writing this novel I found myself wondering: can a person give up a loved one voluntarily? And what are the consequences? What are the consequences of hanging on? 

The older I get, the more often I hear a similar story to my own from friends and acquaintances: they have a family member who is “off stage” or “out of the family” or “not speaking to the rest of us.” The shame I once felt around my own broken family has lessened, knowing that others have had this experience, too. 

Today I have a good relationship with two of these sisters, but it took time. Partway through writing We Meet Apart, when it became clear to me that one sister was going to go her own way, I felt a kind of acceptance. Children grow up, families change, siblings relocate, and the nuclear family shifts into another form. Sometimes, when it happens suddenly and without warning, it feels more impactful. But it always happens, to one degree or another. As the saying goes, the only constant in life is change.


We Meet Apart: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop

Author’s Socials: Website|Facebook|Instagram|Substack

 

I’m In TIME Magazine Today

Would you look at that, TIME asked me to chime in on what tech innovation defines American life at the moment, and while my answer is not surprising (a few others in this list also picked it, in one variation or another), I think my answer might have been slightly more poetic than the other answers here.

Nevertheless, it’s the first time I’ve ever been asked to write anything for the magazine; I have cropped up before in articles on various subjects but here I’ve actually contributed, even if it’s just a couple sentences. It counts! “Scalzi has written for TIME Magazine” is going into my bio now! For a former journalist, this feels like a proverbial feather in the proverbial hat.

— JS

An Unexpected Culinary Adventure At The Denver Airport

What’s the deal with airline food? Jokes aside, airport food is known by and large to be rather pricey while also being not so fantastic of quality. If you fly a lot, you know your options are limited to packaged snack foods, dubious egg salad sandwiches, or the world’s coldest bowl of soup from the A gate Chili’s. A fun-size candy bar isn’t so fun when it’s $5, is it?

Why is airport food so bad? Surely there has to be another way, right? Can’t we have decent meals at decent prices, or is it truly impossible because of the fact you’re in an airport?

Well, I’m happy to report there is an airport that has the solution to our problems. The Denver International Airport.

I have flown through Denver more than a few times, but never had time during my connections to explore. Maybe a quick coffee, sure, but definitely not enough time to wait an hour on a waitlist for a speakeasy hidden behind a bookstore facade. Until now.

For a myriad of reasons, I found myself at the Denver Airport at about 11am and my flight wasn’t until 5pm. The only other time I’ve had quite that much time at an airport was a layover at Heathrow, and since I was with my father we went to the Centurion Lounge for the entirety of the five hours and I ate tons of food and binged The Bear.

Also, quick shout out to the transportation company that took me to the airport. Groome Transportation picked me up at their Monument Park-n-Ride location and I had a very pleasant shared shuttle ride. The driver was very friendly and safe on the road, and helped me with my bags. It was fifty dollars and a little over an hour to the airport. I have had much shorter drives for considerably more money when using Lyft, so if you don’t mind sharing a big ol’ shuttle with a friendly driver, Groome may be of interest to you! They have a ton of different locations and airports they go to.

Back to the actual airport, I was worried about TSA lines (despite the large amount of time I had to kill), but because I was Sky Priority with Delta and have CLEAR, I actually got through security very quickly and smoothly. Having money is a hell of a convenience.

I wanted a sit down restaurant to have lunch at, so I asked the Delta check-in agent for recommendations (there was no one in line behind me). He told me to check out Root Down in the C gates, so off I went.

Root Down is actually a restaurant in Denver, so this airport version, called Root Down DIA, is their second location. They are two of five restaurants under the Edible Beats family. Edible Beats is a 100% employee-owned business, and are committed to offering seasonal veggie-forward dishes through sustainable practices, like being 100% wind-powered and having 50% of their ingredients sourced right from Colorado.

When I got to the restaurant, there was a line to be seated, and I ended up waiting about fifteen minutes for a table for one. There’s also a grab-and-go kiosk of some of their menu items if you don’t have time to wait. I was sat at a two top table and brought water and menus.

I was offered both the brunch/lunch menu and the all-day menu because there was about fifteen minutes left on their brunch offerings. So I really had my pick of the litter.

For a beverage, I wanted something fun but wasn’t feeling alcohol (yet), so I got their Coconut Gin Fizz cocktail. It is listed as available as N/A, so it ended up being coconut milk, lime, ginger, and soda water. I thought I got a picture of it, but I guess I didn’t! It was in a short glass with ice and a pineapple frond as a garnish. The drink was creamy and nicely sweetened while still being refreshing and just a little fizzy, with enough ginger to give it flavor but not enough to overwhelm it. Very nice beverage!

For my food, I had a really hard time deciding, but I ended up going with their Green Chili Cornbread Bites, followed by their Beet & Goat Cheese Salad.

The cornbread bites came with goat cheese, jalapeno jam, and a whipped honey butter. I asked for the jalapeno jam on the side just in case it was too spicy for me:

A big black plate with three pieces of cornbread on it. Each piece has some nice color on it, with butter on top and some chives. The jalapeno jam is on the side in a little plastic container.

These three pieces cost $9.60, and they were so bomb. I love cornbread, and this warm, soft cornbread really hit the spot. The jalapeno jam proved too hot for my weak self, so the cornbread was thoroughly enjoyed without it.

For their beet salad, it came with goat cheese, arugula, radish, hazelnuts, beet-sunflower pesto, and basil vinaigrette:

A large white bowl containing a ton of beets, arugula, goat cheese, and drizzled with sauces.

Okay, first off, this salad was HUGE. Secondly, oh my gosh it was so good. I have had many a beet and goat cheese salad in my day, but this one really takes the cake. Like, holy cannoli, it was seriously fantastic. The mix of regular beets and golden beets was a really nice touch, the hazelnuts provided some excellent crunch to contrast the soft goat cheese (which they did not skimp on), and the flavors were so fresh it felt like I was eating right out of a summer garden.

This salad cost $20, but honestly for the size and quality it’s a small price to pay. I am still thinking about this damn salad.

Of course, I had to get some dessert. I chose their Avocado Key Lime Pie that comes with a chocolate crust and passionfruit coulis:

A big ol' slice of pie on a small black plate.

Holy cow that’s a lot of pie! Now, it was $12 for the slice, so it makes sense it’s a big ol’ piece. I actually ordered the pie out of curiosity more than anything, because I was wondering if an avocado pie would taste good. This pie was definitely very interesting. If you do not like avocado at all, do not get this pie. While the flavor of avocado was more subtle and not as grassy as it usually is, it was definitely still very present, just toned down and sweeter. The chocolate crust was my least favorite part of this pie, but the passionfruit coulis was the star of the show with its bright, punchy, tropical flavor that helped cut through some of the extra sweet indulgent fluff. Glad I tried it, but would probably opt for their butterscotch pudding next time.

Root Down had so many vegan and gluten-free options, I highly recommend checking this place out if you have dietary restrictions, or if you just want to have a really fresh tasty meal while traveling without breaking the bank! My total was fifty bucks before tip.

After my delicious and filling lunch, I decided to treat myself to a massage, and got a 20-minute chair massage from Colorado Oasis, also in the C gates. It was so relaxing I started to drift off towards the end. I usually prefer to get massages in between flights so I’m not so stiff from the first leg of the journey, but I was plenty happy to get one before my flight.

Finally, I made my way to the A gates, where my flight was leaving from. I wasn’t sure what to do with all my time, since I had left my new book at my friend’s apartment on accident. Just then, I ended up walking past what might have been the smallest airport bookstore I had ever seen. Just a few bookshelves in an alcove. I walked past at first, but then stopped and doubled back when I realized I saw something strange at this bookshop. A host stand.

When I went back, there were two people at the host stand, talking to the hostess about wait times. Wait times for what?! I had to know. Turns out, the bookstore was a front for a speakeasy called Williams & Graham. Wouldn’t you know it, they also have an actual Denver location only a block away from Root Down. How funny!

Obviously, I had to put my name on the waitlist. She estimated a 45 minute wait for me. Well, I certainly had the time to kill, so I sat and waited excitedly. It ended up taking closer to an hour, but I finally got escorted in and seated at the bar. It was an intimate atmosphere, with low lighting and warm woods. Once I was sat, the bartenders welcomed me by name and introduced themselves, as well. That was a pleasant surprise in formality.

I was handed this soft, leather-bound menu:

A long, rectangular, soft leather menu booklet with a golden Williams & Graham on the front.

Here’s a look at the food offered at this fine establishment:

A list of appetizers and entrees taking up the first page of the booklet menu. Also a couple desserts.

A moment of admiration for this frog legs description:

Frog legs: 3 thicc frog booties marinated and fried, served on arugula with curry aioli and lemons.

I’m willing to forgo the classiness and old-world feel of a swanky speakeasy if it means reading the words “3 thicc frog booties.”

And of course, bevvies:

An extensive list of classic cocktails, featuring drinks like Paper Planes, a Penicillin, a Caipirinha, and a Cosmopolitan, to name a few.

Can’t go wrong with the classics, but don’t miss out on their house cocktails, either:

A slightly smaller list of specialty house cocktails.

That being said, I did end up ordering a Caipirinha for my first drink:

A short glass filled with ice and limes and of course, my drink.

(This photo was after I had my first drink of it, so that’s why it’s not completely full.)

Y’all already know I love a refreshing Caipirinha. I never get tired of that tart, acidic limes and sweet demerara sugar combo. This drink was so light and fresh and they gave me hella limes in my glass. I watched them make it right in front of me and was mesmerized by the muddling to release all that delish flavor. Great drink, no notes.

As tempted as I was to order the frog legs, I ended up trying out the deviled eggs instead:

A round white plate holding five deviled eggs, with a bed of greens in the middle. Each egg has bacon and greens on top.

There is no description on the menu for what comes on these, so I’ll tell you myself. Candied bacon, feta, and serrano peppers. Notice something missing? That’s right, once again my weak palette has made me opt out of the spicy ingredients in a dish! I asked for them sans serrano. I’m sorry, okay!

I did not think I could eat five deviled eggs in a row, but I definitely did and they were amazing. The filling was smooth and flavorful, and the candied bacon was the perfect mix of smoky and sweet. The microgreens added a fresh component that brightened up the heavier components, and it’s safe to say I’d gladly eat another plateful of these right now.

I wasn’t sure what to order for a second drink, but I started talking to the bartender and we bonded over our intense love for espresso martinis. About two minutes later, he just so happened to have an extra espresso martini lying around that needed drank:

A martini glass full of espresso martini with a beautiful design on top of the foam, and three espresso beans, as is tradition.

Okay what a gorg martini! That foam design is amazing, I’ve never had any bar do that before. I loved this espresso martini, the sweet cream on top perfectly balanced the rich, Italian espresso liqueur and cold brew. I said I was happy to pay for the drink because I was planning on ordering it anyways as my second drink, but the bartender insisted it would’ve gone to waste otherwise and really I was doing him a favor by drinking it. I graciously accepted.

Since I had passed up on the unique experience of trying frog legs, I decided to instead try bone marrow for the first time. For their bone marrow, it was a roasted beef bone topped with bacon jam and microgreens, with ciabatta toast on the side:

A bone, split in half to reveal the roasted marrow inside, topped with bacon jam and microgreens, and served with toasted ciabatta on the side.

Y’all, the presentation is absolutely serving. Like it’s giving class, it’s giving sophistication, okay. You can’t tell me that doesn’t look like the most amazing bone marrow you’ve ever seen. Granted, my experience is limited but I was so ready to dive into this.

Rarely has such incredible flavor graced my tastebuds. This bone marrow had the most luxurious, buttery texture. It was like liquid, fatty gold. The bacon jam was rich and chewy, and all of these textures went perfectly on the crusty ciabatta toast. I was soaking that shit UP. No crumb went un-ate here. I was scraping those bones clean. I cannot believe this was only $23 and it’s actually only $20 at their main location. (Similarly, the main location has the deviled eggs for $10 instead of $11.)

If you have not had bone marrow, or have been too scared to try it, I’m telling you right now you will not regret giving it a shot. I have been dreaming about this dish, and honestly I’m hoping to find another restaurant soon that has it on the menu. I need more marrow in my life. I never imagined it would be that good.

My bill ended up being just over $50 since I got a drink on the house (again, incredibly generous, thank you to my bartender <3). Any time I get something on the house, I like to tip as if I had had that item on the bill. Of course, in the instance of one drink that means just a couple bucks extra on the tip, but I figure that’s a decent guideline to go by.

Not only did I have incredible service, drinks, and food at Williams & Graham, but I also sat next to a girl at the bar who was also by herself. We started chatting and it turned out we had so much in common, and she was so sweet and fun to talk to! When we both paid and left, she asked if we could get a photo on her little film camera for her travel scrapbook. I said of course, and also gave her a Colorado sticker I had bought at a gift shop so she could use it in her scrapbook. I was so grateful to have such a nice dining companion!

If you have the time to spare, I cannot recommend these places enough. It’s amazing to see that you can have high quality, from scratch kitchens that are dedicated to good food, good drinks, and good service in an airport. No longer shall we settle for McDonald’s and Dunkin’ when we can have craft kitchens and talented bartenders.

Who knew getting to the airport early could be so amazing? (Do NOT get to the Dayton or Cincinnati airports that early, you will be disappointed and bored.)

Would you try bone marrow (or if you have, do you like it?) Do you prefer your eggs deviled or undeviled? Does Root Down’s veggie-forward fare interest you? Let me know in the comments, and have a great day!

-AMS

The Big Idea: Matt Harry

In his new novel Ashland, author Matt Harry posits a world that is a little bit… gooey. If you don’t know what that might mean, or what it would mean for anyone who has to live in that world, never fear, Harry is here to get you up to speed. Here, put on this protective clothing before we go any further.

MATT HARRY:

Science fiction is riddled with tropes. The mad scientist, the killer robot, the first contact with aliens. My personal favorite has always been the concept of gray goo – an end-of-the-world scenario envisioned by K. Eric Drexler in his 1986 book Engines of Creation. Basically, it centers on the creation of a self-replicating technology that grows and grows until it devours all the biomass on Earth.

It’s a pretty depressing concept, but one that never seemed particularly feasible to me. How could a single organism affect the entire globe at once? Then the Covid-19 pandemic hit. Everything shut down and everyone shut themselves inside. As I walked through the empty streets, I found myself pondering a simple question: How could this be worse? That was immediately answered by a follow-up question:

What if we never went outside again?

Such a dystopian idea, I realized, could be due to my own version of gray goo. I considered a lot of options: nanotechnology, viruses, alien organisms. I reached out to an infectious disease doctor and a robotics expert for inspiration. Eventually, I came across an invention that blends multiple fields – organic microbots. These tiny organisms are created in a lab and programmed to perform simple tasks, such as drug delivery, pest control, or anticancer treatments.

But what would happen if these microbots went rogue? That question led me to create the Ash. This self-replicating swarm of organic microbots is developed to destroy cancer cells, but a programming error leads it to target muscle proteins instead. Of course, the Ash gets out, and twenty percent of humanity is killed in the first month. To survive, people are forced to seal themselves inside plastic-coated buildings. If they have to go outside, they need to wear hazmat suits or use remote-operated drones.

Now that I had the what and the why for my dystopian world, I needed the where. Since I’ve lived in Los Angeles longer than I’ve lived anywhere else, I decided to make my hometown the main setting for Ash Land. LA is a sprawling, sunny, outdoors-oriented city, so it felt particularly brutal to trap everyone inside.

Finally, I needed a who. What sort of character could I toss into this dystopian nightmare? A romantic seeking connection? An action hero? Eventually, I decided that a detective would be a fun choice. Trying to solve a mystery while the protagonist is unable to collect evidence or interrogate suspects in a normal manner immediately gave me lots of ideas. To make things a bit easier, I imagined someone pretty similar to myself: middle-aged, father of two boys, loves pop culture and solving a good puzzle. Unlike me, I decided to make him a divorced ex-cop and a pain in the ass. (For confirmation on that last part, you’ll have to talk to my family.)

Every day during the pandemic, I would drive around my then-five-year-old son, trying to get him to fall asleep so I could write for a couple hours. I would park somewhere scenic, and look out over the empty City of Angels while imagining a scenario much worse than my current one. It was oddly therapeutic. The concept of Ash Land led me to develop all kinds of near-future trappings: air locks on every entrance door, transport pods nicknamed coffins, a dangerous gang of scavengers known as Scrappers, and a system of sealed walkway tubes that leads to Griffith Observatory.

Ultimately, I tried to create a gray goo scenario that is plausible, unique, and will hopefully remind readers of humanity’s resilience. After all, if our world can weather Covid-19, I believe we can find a way to fix our other problems, too. Ideally it won’t take a swarm of flesh-eating microbots to make us do so.


Ashland: Amazon|Barnes & Noble|Bookshop|Powell’s

Author Socials: Web Site|Facebook|Instagram

And Now I Reveal the Contents of My FBI File

Turns out… it’s nothing.

I sent in a Freedom of Information Act request in April, after the unpleasantness regarding the Correspondent’s Dinner attacker, because I was curious if it or indeed anything else had gone down on my permanent record. Nope! If you believe the FBI — admittedly more difficult in these latter days than it was before — I have no record in their files. Apparently despite my three decades of writing in the public eye and two decades of being reasonably well-known author, nothing I have done (or that others have said about me) is cause for the FBI to say to itself “maybe we should keep track of him.”

Which, I guess, good? I had assumed there might be something, even if it was tangential and/or primarily related to other people with bigger and more substantial files. People have had FBI files for even less suspicious activity than I have ever offered to the world. But no, there’s nothing of note. At least now I don’t have to pay the extra that would have been required if the search had needed more than a couple of hours to dig out everything the bureau had on me. My search was quick! And cheap!

I suppose the FBI could be lying about having a file on me, but in all sincerity I doubt it. I know my own past and it is both law-abiding and, from the perspective of law enforcement, boring; I’ve never been cited for anything worse than speeding, and even that was more than a decade ago. And no matter how much certain right-wing bile-spewers on the Internet want to paint me as a flaming socialist threat to decent society for writing books they don’t like (also something that peaked more than a decade ago), in reality there’s nothing in my political beliefs or actions that paints me as terribly subversive. The most “subversive” thing I’ve done is donate money to the Southern Poverty Law Center, and even that doesn’t rate, not even now when the current administration is (laughably) trying to go after them. We all have to live with the reality that I am, in fact and officially, a step below “mostly harmless.”

It’s never too late to get an FBI file, I hear some of you saying. You are not wrong, and also, I’m not sure how I would be going about doing that. I am not, as it turns out, getting more conservative with age, which is a thing people used to say would generally happen. My rather unremarkable principles turn out to be more radical as I go along, if only because the political center in the US has shifted so wildly right while I have mostly stayed in the same place. But clearly that’s not enough to rate interest in itself. My own revolutionary action, such as it is, is less about taking it to the streets (Bradford, OH is not a hotbed of protest marches) and more about openly donating money, both individually and through our family foundation. The IRS has a file on me, for certain. I’ve seen that.

So: No FBI file after all. Which, fine and good. I don’t suppose if the FBI or any other “alphabet” organization in our government really wants to find out more about me, that they would lack public information to do so. They could start here, the official repository of my thoughts for the last 28 years. Hello, FBI and everyone else! There’s a search function here! Have fun!

— JS