50 Hilarious New Year's Jokes to Welcome 2025 With Laughter
You'll get plenty of laughs (and a couple of groans) with these funny one-liners.
Leading up to New Year's Eve and 2025, it's normal to think about change in our lives and what we may want to do differently in the new year. For some, it's being more mindful, while others strive to expand their reading lists. But one thing everyone could benefit from in 2025? Having more humor in our lives, and these funny New Year's jokes and punchy one-liners can certainly start us all off on the right foot.
This list is full of the most hilarious dad jokes, silliest jokes for kids and super clever puns that family and friends of all ages will certainly enjoy on New Year's Eve. The possibilities are endless — you can recite one or two while making a heartfelt New Year's toast or use them for your Instagram captions accompanying all your glittery New Year's selfies. Another idea? Send these humorous New Year’s wishes to your loved ones via text when the clock strikes midnight to spread some instant cheer.
No matter how you use them, we guarantee a few of your favorites on this list will end up becoming regular corny jokes you say from time to time when someone's in need of a little chuckle.
What's a spider's New Year's resolution?
To spend less time on the web.
What do you tell someone you didn't see on New Year's Eve?
I haven't seen you for a year!
What does every new year have in store for us?
Another 365 days!
Why do you need a jeweler on New Year's Eve?
To ring in the new year.
How did Prince celebrate the new millennium?
He partied like it was 1999.
What does a ghost say on January 1st?
Happy Boo Year!
Why is partying in Times Square overrated?
Because they drop the ball every year.
What should people never eat on New Year's Eve?
Fire crackers.
What does a field grow on January 1?
New Year’s hay.
In what year did Christmas Day and New Year's Day fall in the same year?
Every year!
What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve?
Hogs and kisses.
Last year, I was able to keep all of my New Year's resolutions...
... tucked away in a journal on my bookshelf.
What does a caterpillar do on January 1?
Turns over a new leaf.
What did the chef make for his New Year's dinner?
New Year's filet.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Radio. Radio who?
Radio not, it’s a new year.
Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve.
It’s December 31st.
Did you hear about the guy who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31?
He wanted to make a New Year's toast!
Where do you go to do math homework on New Year’s?
Times Square.
How can you keep a New Year's resolution to read more while never opening a book?
Watch TV with subtitles.
What was Dr. Frankenstein's New Year's resolution?
To make new friends.
Hannah Jeon is an Associate Commerce Editor at Prevention, where she covers expert-driven commerce content for all things health, beauty, and wellness. Previously the Editorial Assistant at Good Housekeeping, she earned her bachelor’s degree in creative writing and psychology from Johns Hopkins University. When she’s not on the hunt for all the best products online, you can often find her trying out new food spots in New York City or clicking away behind a camera.
Cameron (she/her) is a staff writer for Good Housekeeping, where she covers everything from holidays to food. She is a graduate of Syracuse University, where she received a B.A. in magazine journalism. In her spare-time she can be found scrolling TikTok for the latest cleaning hacks and restaurant openings, binge-watching seasons of Project Runway or online shopping.
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