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400 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2016
‘And would you say these bad dreams have gotten worse since you’ve returned to Herne Bay?’Kate Rafter is a world class conflict correspondent. She has been there and seen that far too many times. Her latest experiences, in Syria, have gouged new scars, and deepened some old ones. There was a serious question about whether she could keep her shit together when she was back in London. It’s the voices, the screaming she hears when there is no one there, the images that rise in her memory, of destruction too severe for any mind to carry for very long without collapsing under the weight. It is the death of the boy in Aleppo that haunts her the worst. Of course, Kate is not the only person in her family with issues.
I put the beaker back on to the table and sit up in my chair. I have to stop letting my mind wander; I have to be alert, careful. Every word I say here can be used against me.
‘No, they haven’t gotten worse,’ I say, trying to keep my voice steady: ‘They’ve just become real.’