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214 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 1, 2016
*A moment of hesitation*
*Awkward silence*
*Another awkward silence*
*Third awkward silence*
*Shuffling papers*
*Door closes*
Coffee: Because crack will get you fired.
—Coffee Mug
This book is one of the most entertaining and hilarious books I have EVER read. I loved it from the very first page, and I could not stop laughing.
Payton Lambert left her small town Bald Knob, Kentucky twelve years ago, determined to make a success of her life, and to get away from the nosy townspeople and their lack of good coffee. But when she gets a call saying her best friend from school is in the hospital and Payton is her emergency contact, she drops everything to be there for Emma Jo. I loved her loyalty to her friend, and how she gave Emma Jo the strength to fight back against her abusive husband, whom the town loves. Payton was so freaking awesome with her feistiness, sassiness, her love of coffee and her willingness to use her middle finger to express herself :-D I adored her, and I want to be her when I grow up. It was so much fun being in her head. I love her coffee shop’s name, Liquid Crack and the names of the coffee size choices: I’m Okay, My Head Hurts, My Eye is Twitching, and PEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO DIE. Anyone who can appreciate the true value of coffee is definitely someone I can totally relate to ;-D
“There is still a pointy weapon within my reach and I’ve had a lot of wine tonight, buddy. There’s no telling where I might shove that thing if you keep provoking me,” I threaten him, giving him the sweetest smile I can manage as I glance down between his legs so he knows exactly what part of his body I’m threatening right now.
“My eyes are up here, honey. First, you won’t stop touching my chest at the hospital, and now, you’re picturing me naked. I don’t remember you being this flirty.”
Then there was Leo Hudson, the town’s sheriff. Leo was the scrawny D&D nerd who tutored Payton in high school and who now looks like Thor in a uniform with a badge and handcuffs (so yummy!) He had a big crush on Payton all those years ago, and I loved that he still had a thing for her, and that he’s been fantasying about her for twelve years.
“I know it’s crazy, and I know it probably scares the shit out of you, but I have been dreaming about you and what I would say to you and what I would do if you ever walked back into my life and I got a second chance to make another impression on you.”
Of course Payton didn’t recognise Leo, and understandably he was quite upset that Payton didn’t recognise him after all these years, and because of this their romance had quite a rocky start, but I loved their hilarious banter. It was a bit difficult to figure Leo out and why he acted the way he did in the beginning, ignoring Payton and giving her the cold shoulder, the romance definitely could have done with Leo’s POV, but luckily the more the story unfolded, the more his behavior made sense. I loved the hot sexy times and the very romantic gift he gave her.
The plot was fantastic, although I was sad that the humor lost some of its steam in the middle, but I still enjoyed the hell out of this book. I loved Payton’s friend and manager Bettie Lake, who is also a coffee addict and sarcastic and feisty. I loved all the loony and loyal townspeople, even though I wanted to slap them all silly for being so mean to Payton. And the mystery regarding who killed asshole Jed (who totally deserved killing) was a lot of fun.
I don’t like morning people. Or mornings. Or people.
—Coffee Mug
Also this book gave me a ton of new coffee mug slogans, so I’m very happy about that :-D. This was my first book by this author, and she’s bloody brilliant. I can’t wait to read more of her books. If you want a book that will make you laugh until your abs hurt with a side of romance and mystery, look no further. HIGHLY RECOMMENED.
“God, I’m such a bitch. Your husband is dead in your backyard and here I am complaining about some guy not paying me enough attention. And a guy I don’t give two shits about, at that,” I mutter softly.
Whatever. I’m not lying, YOU’RE lying.
When you come up to the counter at Liquid Crack, your size choices are I'm Okay, My Head Hurts, My Eye is Twitching, and PEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO DIE.
That last one is the extra-large, obviously.
"You are a disgrace to coffee. Go away before I yank off those stupid Uggs and beat you with them."
"First it's stealing wine coolers, then it's selling your body for the marijuana, and next thing you know, you're murdering someone in cold blood."
"I am not about to let how good he looks in a uniform mess with my head. Or his dimples. Or his bright blue eyes. Or how nice it was that he went out and got me coffee even though it tastes like what Bo Jangles pee smelled like."
"Leo Hudson's tongue is in my mouth.
I repeat, LEO HUDSON'S TONGUE IS IN MY MOUTH!"
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