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536 pages, Paperback
First published October 25, 2019
Fear didn’t exist in me. I lived between two emotions. Pain and lust. Those two feelings were all I needed and both were printed across my knuckles to remind everyone else in the world of that.
I didn’t have hard limits. Unless you counted cuddling, spooning and heaven fucking forbid canoodling . Frankly, anything that ended with an ing that didn’t start with fuck was a solid no from me. I didn’t kiss, I tongue-fucked. I didn’t caress, I clawed. I didn’t go down on girls, I feasted on them.
“You know I hate to shout, Mindy.”
“It’s Lillia-“
“Shhhh Mindy.” I called them all Mindy. Made it miles easier to remember.
Dante was a solid Airsentry and though he was no Lance Orion from Zodiac Academy.
Joining the school Pitball team hadn’t actually been on my to-do list. That went more like this…
1. Find out who killed Gareth.
2. Kill that motherfucker. Slowly.
3. Figure out the rest of my life (presuming said murderer doesn't kill me first and I don’t get caught).
Every Fae born in Solaria was gifted with power over the Element connected to their star sign, so as a Libra my magic was air. Some of the more powerful Fae were gifted control over multiple Elements because they were linked to constellations too, but I’d never met anyone that strong.
“No,” I breathed. “I don’t remember what it was like before. Sometimes I think I do but... everything is tainted with this pain now.”
“Look a little closer, Dante, I’m not a nice girl. And being a Callisto was never a walk in the park either. Your father may have forged you into the man you are, but I built myself up into the woman I am. Each cut and every scar only toughened my skin. Every break and fracture only steeled my determination. And everything I’ve lost has only strengthened my soul. I won’t flinch at the worst of you because there is no best of me anymore.”
Ryder grinned darkly, leaning in to Elise’s ear. “Well my option doesn’t expire. If you get bored of Mufasa’s kid and fancy a taste of Scar, you can come to my room. And all over my room too. I’ll wait to hear about the safe word.”
“Maybe we can come here and be alone together sometimes.”
“Alone together,” I echoed with a smile pulling at my mouth. “I like the sound of that, bella.”
“Fuck, Elise, you’re so broken,” he groaned, his lips brushing against my ear. Somehow that didn’t seem like an insult coming from him and half a laugh escaped me as more tears fell.
“You don’t know anything about what I want.”
“Yes I do. And you’re not after something to blot out that pain in you, Elise. You’re looking for something to make you feel alive.”
She laughed cheekily, standing up and I stared after her, lost for words. What the fuck just happened? Did I just enjoy getting kicked in the nuts?
“I can see how sad you are even when you aren’t crying,” he breathed. “You don’t have to hide your tears from me.”
Greyshine went on, “Eugene Dipper is still stuck in his Tiberian Rat form in the U-bend of the men’s toilet after he was accidentally flushed down there so try to tie a knot in it if you need a tinkle between classes. Never fear though - we are still sending him air regularly to keep him alive. Unfortunately, he tried to shift back into his Fae form in the early hours of this morning and it went spectacularly badly so let’s all send positive thoughts his way today and cross our fingers and toes that he manages to wriggle his way free lickety split.”
”Temptation is irrelevant if your will is strong enough, Ryder. And mine’s made of iron. So no matter how tempted I am…” Her hand sailed down my chest and over my waistband to press against my hard-on which was straining against my pants. I released a breathy groan as she squeezed once then stepped away with a teasing grin. “I won’t cave.”
”So what will it be? A night in Psycho the Snake’s funhouse, a ride on a Dragon who threw you out a window, or a night with a mighty Lion who will bring you more chocolate before and after the ball.” Bribery was a winner. Not something I’d actually used before, but I could see she was tempted.”
Dante was a solid Airsentry and though he was no Lance Orion from Zodiac Academy, we still might have had a shot at beating their asses if we were all on top form in our next match against them. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But I was a major optimist.
“When you finally give in to this waiting storm between us and agree to be mine, I’m gonna make you scream my name until you lose your voice,” he breathed in my ear and I could only bite my lip in response.
“Maybe we can come here and be alone together sometimes.”
“Alone together,” I echoed with a smile pulling at my mouth. “I like the sound of that, bella.”
“Leon the Lion?” I teased, a smirk hooking my lips up. I’d laughed out loud when I’d read it in his file during my research before coming here. His star sign was Leo too, it was too fucking funny.
“My mom thought it was cute.”
“It is,” I agreed, still teasing. “Very cute for a little lion cub.”
I reached into my pocket, taking out what I hoped would buy me a yes to my coming question. I placed the large chocolate bar down, sliding it across the table, a rush going through me as I did one of the first things I’d ever done for another person. Look at me all generous.
“Listen, vampira,” I snarled. “There’s two sides in this school, Oscura Clan or Lunar Brotherhood.” I spat on the floor to get the taste of that name out of my mouth. “You’re either with us or with them.”
“Or you can be your own person,” Gabriel chipped in as he mentally came back to the room.
“I think you were meant to end up in my arms tonight,” he agreed in a deep growl though I wasn’t sure if he sounded happy about it.
“To everyone else you’re like this perfect little doll, but I can see how fractured and torn apart you are inside,” he breathed. “I can see the cracks in the perfection. I can see the poison that’s tainting your essence. And every break, every scar and burn and fissure in your soul only makes it more beautiful. Only makes you more perfect to me. This pain is strength. This agony is beauty.”
Ryder’s foot slammed between ours and he smacked a hand down onto the desk as he leaned forward with a snarl. “I’m not going to ask nicely again, Simba. Stop playing footsie with my girl and fuck off.”
Leon yawned like Ryder was boring him and I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing.