What do you think?
Rate this book
Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication
Wall Street Journal bestseller!
For anyone who wants to be heard at work, earn that overdue promotion, or win more clients, deals, and projects, the bestselling author of Captivate , Vanessa Van Edwards, shares her advanced guide to improving professional relationships through the power of cues.
What makes someone charismatic? Why do some captivate a room, while others have trouble managing a small meeting? What makes some ideas spread, while other good ones fall by the wayside? If you have ever been interrupted in meetings, overlooked for career opportunities or had your ideas ignored, your cues may be the problem – and the solution.
Cues – the tiny signals we send to others 24/7 through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection – have a massive impact on how we, and our ideas, come across. Our cues can either enhance our message or undermine it.
In this entertaining and accessible guide to the hidden language of cues, Vanessa Van Edwards teaches you how to convey power, trust, leadership, likeability, and charisma in every interaction. You’ll
• Which body language cues assert, “I’m a leader, and here’s why you should join me.”
• Which vocal cues make you sound more confident
• Which verbal cues to use in your résumé, branding, and emails to increase trust (and generate excitement about interacting with you.)
• Which visual cues you are sending in your profile pictures, clothing, and professional brand.
Whether you're pitching an investment, negotiating a job offer, or having a tough conversation with a colleague, cues can help you improve your relationships, express empathy, and create meaningful connections with lasting impact. This is an indispensable guide for entrepreneurs, team leaders, young professionals, and anyone who wants to be more influential.
For anyone who wants to be heard at work, earn that overdue promotion, or win more clients, deals, and projects, the bestselling author of Captivate , Vanessa Van Edwards, shares her advanced guide to improving professional relationships through the power of cues.
What makes someone charismatic? Why do some captivate a room, while others have trouble managing a small meeting? What makes some ideas spread, while other good ones fall by the wayside? If you have ever been interrupted in meetings, overlooked for career opportunities or had your ideas ignored, your cues may be the problem – and the solution.
Cues – the tiny signals we send to others 24/7 through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection – have a massive impact on how we, and our ideas, come across. Our cues can either enhance our message or undermine it.
In this entertaining and accessible guide to the hidden language of cues, Vanessa Van Edwards teaches you how to convey power, trust, leadership, likeability, and charisma in every interaction. You’ll
• Which body language cues assert, “I’m a leader, and here’s why you should join me.”
• Which vocal cues make you sound more confident
• Which verbal cues to use in your résumé, branding, and emails to increase trust (and generate excitement about interacting with you.)
• Which visual cues you are sending in your profile pictures, clothing, and professional brand.
Whether you're pitching an investment, negotiating a job offer, or having a tough conversation with a colleague, cues can help you improve your relationships, express empathy, and create meaningful connections with lasting impact. This is an indispensable guide for entrepreneurs, team leaders, young professionals, and anyone who wants to be more influential.
320 pages, Hardcover
Published March 1, 2022
About the author
Vanessa Van Edwards
7 books807 followersVanessa Van Edwards is the national bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People, which has been translated into 16 languages. As founder of Science of People, Vanessa researches human behavior, communication and the science of relationships. Her innovative work has been featured on CNN, NPR, Fast Company, and Entrepreneur magazine. Her YouTube videos and viral TEDx London Talk have been seen by over 47 million people. For over a decade, Vanessa has been teaching science-backed people skills to audiences around the world, including SXSW and MIT, and at companies including Google, Dove, Microsoft, Facebook, Comcast, and American Express. Her next book Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication is due out in March, 2022.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 223 reviews
April 26, 2022
This is an easy-to-read book. There's lots of graphs and visuals, bolded words, and pull-outs. I really recommend this text. It's a super quick read with easy to implement strategies. The examples are both from history and pop culture; and the entire text centers around charisma (which Van Edwards defines as a combination of warmth and competence). A must read for anyone who wants to understand themselves or the world better. I particularly appreciated the section on emails; simple charismatic things to add: "Excited to work with you" "Looking forward to this" "happy to answer any questions" "We got this" "Working on anything exciting recently?" "How's the team doing?" "Anything I can do to help you?" This is a book I could see myself going to back to before presentations, when editing my website, or even trying to become more engaging for my students.
December 18, 2021
I received a free advance copy of this book (which made me so happy! As I have been a massive fan of what Vanessa has done over these years and I consider her first book "Captivate" one of the most life changing books that I have ever read!).
I loved it. And especially, the comment at the end, that the clues described in this book have to be tried at least three times. So this is not one of those books that you read, absorb and move on from. Like with "Captivate", you have to come back, and re-read parts of it again. And practice. And read again, when seeing a cue you don't necessarily understand. I do wish that there was a way just to "download" this all into my brain! Or at least attend an in person course with her :)
Whom would I recommend this book to? Everyone. Literally everyone would benefit from reading this book. As many small things can send wrong signals, and many small cues can help decode why something didn't go quite ok in that last pitch presentation or meeting.
I loved it. And especially, the comment at the end, that the clues described in this book have to be tried at least three times. So this is not one of those books that you read, absorb and move on from. Like with "Captivate", you have to come back, and re-read parts of it again. And practice. And read again, when seeing a cue you don't necessarily understand. I do wish that there was a way just to "download" this all into my brain! Or at least attend an in person course with her :)
Whom would I recommend this book to? Everyone. Literally everyone would benefit from reading this book. As many small things can send wrong signals, and many small cues can help decode why something didn't go quite ok in that last pitch presentation or meeting.
July 19, 2022
this was very helpful especially in business
April 22, 2023
Changing my rating because I picked the book back up to officially finish it, and I enjoyed the rest of the book a lot! Love the chapter about visual cues in particular. The non verbal cues were very interesting, but I started to feel like they were extremely subjective. It seemed too prescriptive for feelings, but loved the visual cues piece.
January 7, 2024
Play well with others. Excellent work on social clues with lots of nuts-and-bolts tips and pointers on how to build these into your own communication style.
August 26, 2024
Nonverbal communication is nothing new, except the author calls them “cues” and then proceeds to tell you how important they are and how smart she is for figuring them out. This is interwoven with drastically overstating questionable research that really hasn’t been replicated.
Give it a miss.
Give it a miss.
August 5, 2022
I’m just an HR professional and I was hoping to understand verbal and non-verbal cues in order to best understand and engage with employees. This book overall does deliver that, but it’s packaged in a hustle culture perspective that is off putting at times (like suggesting that black men dress a certain way to increase their competency ratings…woof).
For anyone seeking like me, I would imagine there’s a better book or YouTube video out there.
This book made me wonder: where is the line between fostering connection and manipulation?
For anyone seeking like me, I would imagine there’s a better book or YouTube video out there.
This book made me wonder: where is the line between fostering connection and manipulation?
September 16, 2022
If you're looking to improve your communication skills, this book is for you.
If you're already a professional communicator, this book is for you.
If you're anti-social and would prefer not to communicate with anyone, this book is for you. Seriously, there are tips for how to do just that!
Vanessa Van Edwards and her team of researchers have collected all the latest data and science around what makes for charismatic communication and present their findings in this volume. I learned sooooo much. I need a physical copy of this book that I can refer back to and start refining my own techniques to improve my communication skills.
I listened to the audio book narrated by the author. She does an excellent job. You still may be like me and want a physical copy to go along with for easy reference.
If you're already a professional communicator, this book is for you.
If you're anti-social and would prefer not to communicate with anyone, this book is for you. Seriously, there are tips for how to do just that!
Vanessa Van Edwards and her team of researchers have collected all the latest data and science around what makes for charismatic communication and present their findings in this volume. I learned sooooo much. I need a physical copy of this book that I can refer back to and start refining my own techniques to improve my communication skills.
I listened to the audio book narrated by the author. She does an excellent job. You still may be like me and want a physical copy to go along with for easy reference.
April 21, 2023
This was a quick and interesting read! A lot of the information the author presents on our “cues” was stuff I already knew, but might not have intentionally thought about. It was a nice reminder of how important our body language, facial expressions, tone, word choice, etc. impact peoples’ perceptions of us.
Also liked how the author talked about charisma being the intersection of warmth and competence and how to tailor your cues to be more warm or competent depending on the situation.
Also liked how the author talked about charisma being the intersection of warmth and competence and how to tailor your cues to be more warm or competent depending on the situation.
February 13, 2022
I was lucky to receive a preview copy of this book and I'm very pleased I did.
Cues is fascinating. Vanessa's use of examples to share concepts related to verbal, nonverbal and visual cues are super interesting. I really enjoyed every part of the book and recommend it for anyone looking to up their communication game with specific actions.
Cues is fascinating. Vanessa's use of examples to share concepts related to verbal, nonverbal and visual cues are super interesting. I really enjoyed every part of the book and recommend it for anyone looking to up their communication game with specific actions.
September 28, 2023
I’ve always loved her books and I watch her youtube channel on charisma and body language. Although non verbal cues give you insights into things people aren’t saying, not everyone can accurately read body language. I don’t agree that using gestures to convey a message to someone when it might go over their head is the way to go. Some people you have to spell it out for them that you wanna be left alone because they ignore social cues.
July 28, 2024
"Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication" by Vanessa Van Edwards, narrated by the author herself, delves into the subtle yet powerful world of cues—those tiny signals we send through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection. These cues can significantly impact how we are perceived and how our ideas are received.
**Narration and Delivery:
One of the standout features of this audiobook is the narration by Vanessa Van Edwards herself. Her delivery is engaging, clear, and infused with the charisma she teaches. Listening to the author narrate her own work adds a layer of authenticity and connection that might be missing in a third-party narration. Van Edwards' enthusiasm for the subject matter is palpable, making the listening experience both enjoyable and educational.
**Content and Structure:
"Cues" is structured in a way that is both logical and easy to follow. The book is divided into sections that focus on different types of cues: body language, vocal cues, verbal cues, and visual cues. Each section provides a comprehensive overview of the cues, real-life examples, and practical tips on how to use them effectively.
Van Edwards begins by explaining the importance of cues in communication. She emphasizes that our cues can either enhance our message or undermine it. For instance, a confident posture can make us appear more credible, while a hesitant tone can make us seem unsure, regardless of the words we use. This foundational understanding sets the stage for the more detailed exploration that follows.
**Body Language Cues:
In the section on body language, Van Edwards discusses how our physical presence can convey power, trust, and likeability. She provides actionable advice on how to use gestures, posture, and facial expressions to project confidence and authority. For example, she explains the significance of maintaining eye contact, using open gestures, and avoiding nervous habits like fidgeting. These insights are backed by scientific research, making them both credible and practical.
**Vocal Cues:
The vocal cues section is particularly enlightening. Van Edwards explains how the tone, pitch, and pace of our voice can influence how our message is received. She offers tips on how to sound more confident and engaging, such as varying our pitch to avoid monotony and using pauses effectively to emphasize key points. This section is especially beneficial for those who engage in public speaking or presentations, as it provides tools to enhance vocal delivery and captivate an audience.
**Verbal Cues:
In the verbal cues section, Van Edwards explores the power of word choice. She explains how certain words can build trust, convey authority, and generate excitement. For instance, using inclusive language like "we" instead of "I" can foster a sense of teamwork and collaboration. She also discusses the importance of storytelling in making our message more relatable and memorable. This section is filled with practical advice that can be applied in various contexts, from writing emails to delivering speeches.
**Visual Cues:
The final section on visual cues covers aspects like clothing, grooming, and professional branding. Van Edwards explains how our appearance can influence others' perceptions of us and offers tips on how to present ourselves in a way that aligns with our desired image. She emphasizes the importance of consistency in visual cues, as mismatched signals can create confusion and undermine our message.
**Practical Applications:
One of the strengths of "Cues" is its focus on practical applications. Van Edwards provides numerous exercises and examples that help listeners apply the concepts in their own lives. Whether you're preparing for a job interview, leading a team meeting, or networking at a social event, the insights from this book can help you communicate more effectively and build stronger relationships.
**Conclusion:
"Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication" is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to improve their communication skills. Vanessa Van Edwards' expertise, combined with her engaging narration, makes this audiobook a must-listen. The book's practical advice, backed by scientific research, provides listeners with the tools they need to convey power, trust, and charisma in every interaction. Whether you're an entrepreneur, team leader, or young professional, "Cues" offers insights that can help you become more influential and successful in your personal and professional life.
**Narration and Delivery:
One of the standout features of this audiobook is the narration by Vanessa Van Edwards herself. Her delivery is engaging, clear, and infused with the charisma she teaches. Listening to the author narrate her own work adds a layer of authenticity and connection that might be missing in a third-party narration. Van Edwards' enthusiasm for the subject matter is palpable, making the listening experience both enjoyable and educational.
**Content and Structure:
"Cues" is structured in a way that is both logical and easy to follow. The book is divided into sections that focus on different types of cues: body language, vocal cues, verbal cues, and visual cues. Each section provides a comprehensive overview of the cues, real-life examples, and practical tips on how to use them effectively.
Van Edwards begins by explaining the importance of cues in communication. She emphasizes that our cues can either enhance our message or undermine it. For instance, a confident posture can make us appear more credible, while a hesitant tone can make us seem unsure, regardless of the words we use. This foundational understanding sets the stage for the more detailed exploration that follows.
**Body Language Cues:
In the section on body language, Van Edwards discusses how our physical presence can convey power, trust, and likeability. She provides actionable advice on how to use gestures, posture, and facial expressions to project confidence and authority. For example, she explains the significance of maintaining eye contact, using open gestures, and avoiding nervous habits like fidgeting. These insights are backed by scientific research, making them both credible and practical.
**Vocal Cues:
The vocal cues section is particularly enlightening. Van Edwards explains how the tone, pitch, and pace of our voice can influence how our message is received. She offers tips on how to sound more confident and engaging, such as varying our pitch to avoid monotony and using pauses effectively to emphasize key points. This section is especially beneficial for those who engage in public speaking or presentations, as it provides tools to enhance vocal delivery and captivate an audience.
**Verbal Cues:
In the verbal cues section, Van Edwards explores the power of word choice. She explains how certain words can build trust, convey authority, and generate excitement. For instance, using inclusive language like "we" instead of "I" can foster a sense of teamwork and collaboration. She also discusses the importance of storytelling in making our message more relatable and memorable. This section is filled with practical advice that can be applied in various contexts, from writing emails to delivering speeches.
**Visual Cues:
The final section on visual cues covers aspects like clothing, grooming, and professional branding. Van Edwards explains how our appearance can influence others' perceptions of us and offers tips on how to present ourselves in a way that aligns with our desired image. She emphasizes the importance of consistency in visual cues, as mismatched signals can create confusion and undermine our message.
**Practical Applications:
One of the strengths of "Cues" is its focus on practical applications. Van Edwards provides numerous exercises and examples that help listeners apply the concepts in their own lives. Whether you're preparing for a job interview, leading a team meeting, or networking at a social event, the insights from this book can help you communicate more effectively and build stronger relationships.
**Conclusion:
"Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication" is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to improve their communication skills. Vanessa Van Edwards' expertise, combined with her engaging narration, makes this audiobook a must-listen. The book's practical advice, backed by scientific research, provides listeners with the tools they need to convey power, trust, and charisma in every interaction. Whether you're an entrepreneur, team leader, or young professional, "Cues" offers insights that can help you become more influential and successful in your personal and professional life.
June 26, 2022
In Disney's The Little Mermaid, sea witch Ursula takes away Ariel's voice and gives her legs in exchange, advising her to use only her body language to get by on the land. We are so used to hearing people talk at us all the time, that we often overlook body language, which experts believe contains some 65-90% of total communication!
You can have the best facts, the most persuasive arguments, and the best ideas, but they will get nowhere without the knowledge of how to be charismatic. Vanessa Van Edwards is an expert on body language, author, and founder of the website- Science of People that advises people on how to use the unspoken to their advantage. Her book, Cues, is a sequel to her earlier book, Captivate, and it covers nonverbal cues that we get from gestures, eye contact, smiles, touch, and more.
Any attempt at communication begins with the message in our heads. We encode it into words as well as nonverbal communications. The recipient then needs to decode the message and try to understand what we are trying to convey. They then either accept the message and internalize it, or reject it and toss it aside. This book is about how to get more acceptance of our ideas, large and small.
Van Edwards claims that charisma comes from the synergy of two forces- warmth and competence. We trust warm people more when they are compassionate, open, and collaborative. But that's not enough. We also trust people who show competence in the ideas that they are presenting. We look for smart, expert, capable people who exude power but are still approachable. Communicators who lack both of those qualities fall into what she calls the "Danger Zone", and risk never being taken seriously.
Warmth body language cues subtly open up relationships to trust and friendship. They include such things as head tilts, nodding, eyebrow raises, smiling, respectful touching, and mirroring of other people's expressions..
Competence body cues convince people that someone is to be taken seriously. These include things like power postures, intense gazes, steeple gestures (palms facing each other with fingers just barely touching), fluid arm gestures during presentations, and palm flashes.
Charismatic body cues, which combine the two, make speakers look and sound likeable and respectable. They include leaning in to a conversation, opening one's body posture (no crossing of the arms), space smarts, (knowing how close to physically come to someone in a conversation), and using eye contact purposefully.
Van Edwards devotes two chapters to vocal cues, which are different than the actual words spoken. We generally take lower pitched voices more seriously, and we can tell if someone has a nervous pitch to their voice. One of the big no-no's in speaking is ending a sentence on a question inflection. This takes away the speakers power and makes the recipient question if the speaker knows what they're talking about.
Much of this is common sense, but it's nice to see it all put together in a professional format. Vary your voice when talking and raise it for emphasis. Be aware of when you're losing your audience. Don't be afraid to pause once in a while for extra emphasis- silence creates tension and anticipation. Use friendly words at the start of any engagement to warm up your intended audience, large or small. (But be genuine, not fake.) Try to start conversations with things like:
"I'm so glad you called."
"Well this is a nice surprise"
"It's so good to hear from you"
"I love your outfit, hair, tattoo etc"
There is a serious shortage of warmth and caring today, and remembering to honor and appreciate people can go a long way. Just the way you say the word "hello" makes a huge difference.
Van Edwards ends the book with tips on visual cues, which might be a topic for her next book. Our eyes take in way more information than our ears, and we make a lot of decisions based on superficial, unconscious visual signals. Her three best practices for using cues for charisma include.
1- Expect the best from yourself and others
2- Don't try to fake it. People can see right through that.
3- Use the rule of 3 to try things out. Test a cue at least 3 times and see what results you get.
Vanessa Van Edwards is the only person writing about nonverbal communication styles today that I've seen, and her advice is valuable. Only 10-35% of our words gets through, and if it conflicts with the nonverbal parts, forget about it. Communication is critical, and in the internet age interpersonal communication is becoming harder because of social media that robs us of most of the nonverbal part, presenting instead a carefully curated but incomplete picture.
The author has built up an impressive array of information, classes, and resources on this little-noticed topic, and I recommend her website, Scienceofpeople.com to those who want to learn more about her activities.
You can have the best facts, the most persuasive arguments, and the best ideas, but they will get nowhere without the knowledge of how to be charismatic. Vanessa Van Edwards is an expert on body language, author, and founder of the website- Science of People that advises people on how to use the unspoken to their advantage. Her book, Cues, is a sequel to her earlier book, Captivate, and it covers nonverbal cues that we get from gestures, eye contact, smiles, touch, and more.
Any attempt at communication begins with the message in our heads. We encode it into words as well as nonverbal communications. The recipient then needs to decode the message and try to understand what we are trying to convey. They then either accept the message and internalize it, or reject it and toss it aside. This book is about how to get more acceptance of our ideas, large and small.
Van Edwards claims that charisma comes from the synergy of two forces- warmth and competence. We trust warm people more when they are compassionate, open, and collaborative. But that's not enough. We also trust people who show competence in the ideas that they are presenting. We look for smart, expert, capable people who exude power but are still approachable. Communicators who lack both of those qualities fall into what she calls the "Danger Zone", and risk never being taken seriously.
Warmth body language cues subtly open up relationships to trust and friendship. They include such things as head tilts, nodding, eyebrow raises, smiling, respectful touching, and mirroring of other people's expressions..
Competence body cues convince people that someone is to be taken seriously. These include things like power postures, intense gazes, steeple gestures (palms facing each other with fingers just barely touching), fluid arm gestures during presentations, and palm flashes.
Charismatic body cues, which combine the two, make speakers look and sound likeable and respectable. They include leaning in to a conversation, opening one's body posture (no crossing of the arms), space smarts, (knowing how close to physically come to someone in a conversation), and using eye contact purposefully.
Van Edwards devotes two chapters to vocal cues, which are different than the actual words spoken. We generally take lower pitched voices more seriously, and we can tell if someone has a nervous pitch to their voice. One of the big no-no's in speaking is ending a sentence on a question inflection. This takes away the speakers power and makes the recipient question if the speaker knows what they're talking about.
Much of this is common sense, but it's nice to see it all put together in a professional format. Vary your voice when talking and raise it for emphasis. Be aware of when you're losing your audience. Don't be afraid to pause once in a while for extra emphasis- silence creates tension and anticipation. Use friendly words at the start of any engagement to warm up your intended audience, large or small. (But be genuine, not fake.) Try to start conversations with things like:
"I'm so glad you called."
"Well this is a nice surprise"
"It's so good to hear from you"
"I love your outfit, hair, tattoo etc"
There is a serious shortage of warmth and caring today, and remembering to honor and appreciate people can go a long way. Just the way you say the word "hello" makes a huge difference.
Van Edwards ends the book with tips on visual cues, which might be a topic for her next book. Our eyes take in way more information than our ears, and we make a lot of decisions based on superficial, unconscious visual signals. Her three best practices for using cues for charisma include.
1- Expect the best from yourself and others
2- Don't try to fake it. People can see right through that.
3- Use the rule of 3 to try things out. Test a cue at least 3 times and see what results you get.
Vanessa Van Edwards is the only person writing about nonverbal communication styles today that I've seen, and her advice is valuable. Only 10-35% of our words gets through, and if it conflicts with the nonverbal parts, forget about it. Communication is critical, and in the internet age interpersonal communication is becoming harder because of social media that robs us of most of the nonverbal part, presenting instead a carefully curated but incomplete picture.
The author has built up an impressive array of information, classes, and resources on this little-noticed topic, and I recommend her website, Scienceofpeople.com to those who want to learn more about her activities.
July 30, 2024
Without getting too personal in this goodreads review, I’ve been working on getting back to my social and outgoing self this year after a lot of stuff that sort of shook my world a little bit and part of that has been starting therapy. My therapist recommended Vanessa Van Edwards and because I refuse to do anything halfway, I obviously had to read her book. It wasn’t particularly “fun” or “entertaining”, but I did really love her suggestions and her ways of explaining how people communicate warmth and competence through various cues. I also love something I can apply and “practice” immediately and Van Edwards’ suggestions are exactly that. Things that seem so simple-yet actually do make a difference in how we communicate and are communicated with.
So, like, don’t read it for fun? But also it was interesting and I love anything about people and how people work/communicate/relate to one another, so I liked it a lot. :)
So, like, don’t read it for fun? But also it was interesting and I love anything about people and how people work/communicate/relate to one another, so I liked it a lot. :)
January 8, 2025
Downloaded this book after coming across a video of Vanessa explaining likability. The cues mentioned in the book are quite applicable, although some lack depth. Overall, it’s practical and easy to read.
December 7, 2022
Would definitely have enjoyed this more on paper than audiobook due to the repetition of points but i ended up getting used to them in the end (even though it took me almost 3/4 to get used to it)(and the only reason why i was getting used to it was because i was losing focus and the repetition made me not be so lost about the point haha)
still pretty good contents though!! So other than that i'm happy with the read, id probably be a bit more conscious about cues now.
To your success,
4.4 stars
still pretty good contents though!! So other than that i'm happy with the read, id probably be a bit more conscious about cues now.
To your success,
4.4 stars
April 22, 2022
Vanessa calls herself a “recovering awkward person” and has a popular YouTube community with advice like “use more hand gestures” and “never pick up the phone in a bad mood.” Bit obvious? Easy to dismiss? I know it’s easy to be cynical. I was cynical, too. But as my old professor Gunnar Trumbull (best name ever) used to say, “It’s much harder to agree with something than disagree.” This book is really a stunning masterclass on body language. Vanessa does “detail by detail workshops” of fascinating moments like the famous first televised presidential debate in 1960 (where people who listened on the radio thought Nixon won and people who watched on TV thought Kennedy won … you’ll read why) and even famous flubs on Shark Tank by incredible entrepreneurs who years later built unicorns. Will most of us know most of what Vanessa discusses? Yes. But will everyone who reads this book pick up at least a few gold nuggets / satoshis of bitcoin? I did. Highly recommended.
January 3, 2023
This is one of the better communication books I have read for a couple reasons:
-the detail Vanessa provide on both how to improve (versus what to improve, the tiresome approach of other authors) the impact the improvement would have
-the complete approach she took for the amount of areas she explored within communication.
I will utilize this book now like a reference resource.
I will also suggest it to others.
Warning:
-if you are already a good communicator, you be better off with a 2.0 version
-the Audio version of the book is read by author, and surprisingly, her voice wasn't a match to the material, in my opinion.
-the detail Vanessa provide on both how to improve (versus what to improve, the tiresome approach of other authors) the impact the improvement would have
-the complete approach she took for the amount of areas she explored within communication.
I will utilize this book now like a reference resource.
I will also suggest it to others.
Warning:
-if you are already a good communicator, you be better off with a 2.0 version
-the Audio version of the book is read by author, and surprisingly, her voice wasn't a match to the material, in my opinion.
November 9, 2022
Amazing! A science-backed exploration of body language, verbal, vocal, and visual signals we give to others. Once we know these secrets, you'll be able to master your own inner state much better, and importantly convey the message you're after - to build rapport, gain trust, and exercise positive influence on others.
I bought copies for all the CEOs and GMs in my advanced leadership program, Amplifiers, and they loved it!
Being a leader is a tough job. This book makes one aspect of it - being trusted and taken seriously - a little bit easier (and more fun too!).
Recommended.
I bought copies for all the CEOs and GMs in my advanced leadership program, Amplifiers, and they loved it!
Being a leader is a tough job. This book makes one aspect of it - being trusted and taken seriously - a little bit easier (and more fun too!).
Recommended.
February 3, 2023
This is a fascinating book about how to communicate better in a nonverbal manner. Unfortunately, it's very much about how neurotypical brains process information. I would love to see a neurodivergent edition. Much of the information is good for reading allistic people but my brain interprets "warm" and "competent" as equally unnecessary in a work setting. Give me the sterile, "boring" information. Let's get things done and move on. I'm not trying to impress everyone I ever interact with.
January 20, 2025
I liked this book equally or maybe slightly less so than Vanessa’s first book. However, I think my mindset going into these two books was slightly off. For some reason I was thinking that new information and tools and behaviors would be introduced that would greatly enhance verbal and nonverbal communication skills, yet that wasn’t really the point of these books. The point was more explanatory, explaining what works in what situations and explaining why it works. Many of the topics were things I organically do or have noticed others doing, but I didn’t intrinsically know why those behaviors were being selected, and these two books provided interesting insight into that. Being personally interested in behavioral sciences, it affirmed again that almost every behavior has underlying root causes and statistical reasons for why it is chosen or why it works, and human behavior is much more intentional and cause/effect based than you would assume.
The other thing I struggled with in this book is that there was actually a ton of overlap in content between this book and her YouTube video with Steven Bartlett on “Diary of a CEO.” I haven’t watched videos on her personal YouTube channel, but I would assume there is more of the same there. I think Vanessa is a much more convincing and engaging public speaker than she is an author, so if you’re interested in this type of content I think it would be much more beneficial to watch the two hour YouTube episode than spend a couple days reading this book.
Some of my favorite tips and hacks from the book:
- holding your hands at your sides and pressing your thumb and index finger together can get you to stop swaying if you’re speaking while standing in place
- touching or stroking your notch (the space at the base of your neck between your collar bones) is the quickest way to calm yourself down because it makes you feel safe
- Comic Sans is one of the best fonts for remembering information better
- People were found to be more productive when they were working in a blue colored room compared to other colors.
The other thing I struggled with in this book is that there was actually a ton of overlap in content between this book and her YouTube video with Steven Bartlett on “Diary of a CEO.” I haven’t watched videos on her personal YouTube channel, but I would assume there is more of the same there. I think Vanessa is a much more convincing and engaging public speaker than she is an author, so if you’re interested in this type of content I think it would be much more beneficial to watch the two hour YouTube episode than spend a couple days reading this book.
Some of my favorite tips and hacks from the book:
- holding your hands at your sides and pressing your thumb and index finger together can get you to stop swaying if you’re speaking while standing in place
- touching or stroking your notch (the space at the base of your neck between your collar bones) is the quickest way to calm yourself down because it makes you feel safe
- Comic Sans is one of the best fonts for remembering information better
- People were found to be more productive when they were working in a blue colored room compared to other colors.
September 9, 2022
The research Vanessa Van Edwards does through her organization, The Science of People, never fails to be absolutely fascinating. I’ve read her first book, “Captivate” several times, and will read anything she writes.
This new addition to her work, “Cues,” also hooks you from the start and is an excellent complement to her earlier book and talks. Everyone would benefit from learning how their verbal and non-verbal cues are communicating competence and charisma (or lack thereof).
The studies she shares to back her claims are wildly interesting in both their scope and their results. I will definitely be revisiting this book; the insights in here into how our brains are wired to interpret communication and how to consciously shape our behavior to improve our interactions with others are invaluable.
This new addition to her work, “Cues,” also hooks you from the start and is an excellent complement to her earlier book and talks. Everyone would benefit from learning how their verbal and non-verbal cues are communicating competence and charisma (or lack thereof).
The studies she shares to back her claims are wildly interesting in both their scope and their results. I will definitely be revisiting this book; the insights in here into how our brains are wired to interpret communication and how to consciously shape our behavior to improve our interactions with others are invaluable.
Read
May 17, 2023Thesis: Charisma = Warmth + Competence, and social interactions are made or broken by how you embody both variables.
Really enjoyed the psychology, biology, sociology, and etymology baked into this book! It reads like an engaging lecture series, complete with a repository of research stats and demonstrative case studies ranging from Ted Talks to Shark Tank to the exterior paint colors of the secret 1967 Disneyland bar (drop everything and google "Club 33")!!
One of the most engaging professional development books I've read- genuinely applicable and a great resource for social cue studies, public speaking/presenting tips, effective corporate lingo, body language mindfulness, and (thankfully) tailored e-mail signoffs.
Really enjoyed the psychology, biology, sociology, and etymology baked into this book! It reads like an engaging lecture series, complete with a repository of research stats and demonstrative case studies ranging from Ted Talks to Shark Tank to the exterior paint colors of the secret 1967 Disneyland bar (drop everything and google "Club 33")!!
One of the most engaging professional development books I've read- genuinely applicable and a great resource for social cue studies, public speaking/presenting tips, effective corporate lingo, body language mindfulness, and (thankfully) tailored e-mail signoffs.
January 23, 2024
(Read as an audiobook) These are my favourite type of books. I heard Vanessa Van Edwards on the Art of Manliness podcast and ended up reading her book. I like that she explained different cues in brief and how to work on them.
These books can end up being a little political but she stayed true to the topic being discussed in the book and I admire that. The examples in the book got me thinking about the cues I use inadvertently and tried a few myself. How to write an e-mail was the part I will be re-reading the most although I hope AI does it for me in the next few days.
I just wish the book had more examples which I could check out in detail and have more of a breakdown of certain scenarios. After the first few chapters the examples just stopped.
These books can end up being a little political but she stayed true to the topic being discussed in the book and I admire that. The examples in the book got me thinking about the cues I use inadvertently and tried a few myself. How to write an e-mail was the part I will be re-reading the most although I hope AI does it for me in the next few days.
I just wish the book had more examples which I could check out in detail and have more of a breakdown of certain scenarios. After the first few chapters the examples just stopped.
May 12, 2024
This was a fun read whose rating lives somewhere between a 3 and a 4 for me. As an engineer I see and experience poor communication and declared this book will be my flag in the sand to not be among the perpetrators. The book is equipped with diagrams, mementos, and directives to be less bland, more engaging, more charismatic, and easier to remember both during and after social interactions with few or many. The rules presented here are both subtle and potent, certainly enough to feel like they improve your interactions without feeling rehearsed or insincere.
The book led me to following her on Instagram and YouTube where she continues on her mission to ease and smooth communication tactics, among others for better interactions in other frontiers of life.
The book led me to following her on Instagram and YouTube where she continues on her mission to ease and smooth communication tactics, among others for better interactions in other frontiers of life.
October 7, 2024
The most successful people have the right blend of both, which leads them to be likable and respected, the two of which add up to trust.
We may have warmth and no competence, making us well-liked around the office but meaning we get passed over for promotions or left out of important meetings. We may be all competence and no warmth, resulting in high achievement but few invitations to networking events or social gatherings, possibly to the detriment of our own advancement
Head tilts convey curiosity, sympathy, or interest
Don’t use a head tilt, however, if you need to hold on to power in the conversation.
From blinkist
We may have warmth and no competence, making us well-liked around the office but meaning we get passed over for promotions or left out of important meetings. We may be all competence and no warmth, resulting in high achievement but few invitations to networking events or social gatherings, possibly to the detriment of our own advancement
Head tilts convey curiosity, sympathy, or interest
Don’t use a head tilt, however, if you need to hold on to power in the conversation.
From blinkist
February 24, 2023
My fav quotes (not a review):
-Page 37 |"thing I tend to do is greet the child. Typically, I high-five the child. Then I try to drop down to the child’s eye level. . . . I’ll bend down or get down on my knees to really make sure I’m engaging them,” explained Dr. Essel. Dr. Essel has found that when he greets the child first, it wins over the parents. He noticed this by decoding facial cues. “I have noticed if the parents see that I engage with the child, it really takes the stress off of them. I see their face sort of changing. They seem more comfortable with me if I can engage with the child,” said Dr. Essel. Engagement is central to Dr. Essel’s practice. “People are always looking for appreciation, acceptance, and acknowledgment,”"
-Page 42 |"Leaning in is the single fastest way to look (and feel) interested and engaged."
-Page 80 |"Have to deliver bad news? Use the head tilt to show you’re listening and you’re there for them."
-Page 85 |"My male students have told me that guys have an unspoken nodding custom. If you see another guy you know, you nod up. This nonverbally says, “What’s up?” If you pass by a guy you don’t know but want to acknowledge, you nod down. This nonverbally says, “Respect.”"
-Page 102 "WARM WORDS WARMTH CUE “That’s so interesting.” Eyebrow raise “I agree.” Nodding “I’m listening.” Head tilting “This is exciting.” Leaning “I respect you.” Fronting “I trust you.” Touch “I’m on the same page.” Mirroring"
-Page 106 "Nixon had one hand gripping the chair arm in what looks like a fist. This is an immediate anxiety cue."
-Page 109 "gripping them tightly? Hold them loosely so you are not accidentally making a fist."
-Page 114 "A sudden lid flex means someone has gone from just listening to scrutinizing. It’s a cue for you to pause. See a flexed lid? Try to: Take questions. Say, “Any questions so far?” Repeat the point you just made in a different way. Tell a story or give an example to demonstrate your point. Do a quick check-in. Ask, “All good?”"
-Page 117 "Steepling is a powerful gesture to convince others of your commitment to and confidence in what you’re saying."
-Page 118 "The steeple can get dangerously close to evil fingers. If you don’t want to look like you’re hatching an evil plan, don’t drum your fingers while steepling! This is a cue for scheming and should be avoided."
-Page 125 "One of my favorite cues as a presenter is the “this is going to be good” cue. Rubbing your palms together in excited anticipation is a great way to get an audience excited. Taking off one’s glasses or rolling up your sleeves can also have the same effect, signaling that you’re really getting into the material."
-Page 165 "Similarly, if you’re challenged with RBF, try positioning your camera slightly higher than your eyeline. This makes you look up, which widens your eyes and makes you look more awake."
-Page 180 "Step #2: Speak on the out breath. Taking a deep breath is one of the fastest ways to feel and sound more confident. Try not to speak at the top of your inhale."
-Page 185 "Two Truths and a Lie Have you ever played two truths and a lie? It’s a great way to test your people-reading abilities. I’ll give you an insider tip on spotting the lie: People often drop their volume when sharing their lie (or use the question inflection)."
-Page 200 "What do you do when you hear your phone ring? I noticed I take in a quick inhale and then hold it until I can answer. Sometimes this can last for a few seconds as I search for my phone. This causes me to answer the phone in a small, tight voice and with very little breath. In fact, when I recorded my phone calls, I noticed my “Hello?” was the highest-pitched word in the entire phone call!"
-Page 204 "Use words that cue for nonverbal warmth more than the standard neutral positive openers like “Thanks for coming” or “Great to see you.”"
-Page 208 "The best way to use a nonverbal script is to help you remember where you need to add vocal variety, nonverbal emphasis, or helpful gestures."
-Page 209 "ACTION STEPS Struggle with pauses or speak too fast? Add pause lines. Speak too slow? Print slow sections in a different color. I like green for fast (as in a green light) and red for slow. Forget to smile? Type or draw a smiley face in your notes. Want to lean in, nod, or add emphasis to a certain section? Bold it or add the cue in the margins. Find it difficult to make eye contact with the audience? Add “LOOK UP"
-Page 214 "How can you vocally mirror authentically? The key here is subtle and natural. If you hear a word you like, use it! This is easy when someone is asking for confirmation: They say, “Okay?” You reply, “Okay!” They say, “Got it?” You say, “Got it!” They say, “Aha!” while listening to you. You say, “Aha!” while responding to them."
-Page 242 "And, of course, we’re anti-boring. I have a number of engaging activities planned where the entire goal is inspiring change. Would you like to see a video demo?”"
-Page 248 "YOU DO YOU.” And did you notice the RSVP code? “Hellyes” is a great verbal cue for excitement."
-Page 249 "Comic Sans is good for memory. Researchers asked participants to read a story about a fictional alien creature. They remembered more when the story was printed in Comic Sans compared to Arial"
-Page 37 |"thing I tend to do is greet the child. Typically, I high-five the child. Then I try to drop down to the child’s eye level. . . . I’ll bend down or get down on my knees to really make sure I’m engaging them,” explained Dr. Essel. Dr. Essel has found that when he greets the child first, it wins over the parents. He noticed this by decoding facial cues. “I have noticed if the parents see that I engage with the child, it really takes the stress off of them. I see their face sort of changing. They seem more comfortable with me if I can engage with the child,” said Dr. Essel. Engagement is central to Dr. Essel’s practice. “People are always looking for appreciation, acceptance, and acknowledgment,”"
-Page 42 |"Leaning in is the single fastest way to look (and feel) interested and engaged."
-Page 80 |"Have to deliver bad news? Use the head tilt to show you’re listening and you’re there for them."
-Page 85 |"My male students have told me that guys have an unspoken nodding custom. If you see another guy you know, you nod up. This nonverbally says, “What’s up?” If you pass by a guy you don’t know but want to acknowledge, you nod down. This nonverbally says, “Respect.”"
-Page 102 "WARM WORDS WARMTH CUE “That’s so interesting.” Eyebrow raise “I agree.” Nodding “I’m listening.” Head tilting “This is exciting.” Leaning “I respect you.” Fronting “I trust you.” Touch “I’m on the same page.” Mirroring"
-Page 106 "Nixon had one hand gripping the chair arm in what looks like a fist. This is an immediate anxiety cue."
-Page 109 "gripping them tightly? Hold them loosely so you are not accidentally making a fist."
-Page 114 "A sudden lid flex means someone has gone from just listening to scrutinizing. It’s a cue for you to pause. See a flexed lid? Try to: Take questions. Say, “Any questions so far?” Repeat the point you just made in a different way. Tell a story or give an example to demonstrate your point. Do a quick check-in. Ask, “All good?”"
-Page 117 "Steepling is a powerful gesture to convince others of your commitment to and confidence in what you’re saying."
-Page 118 "The steeple can get dangerously close to evil fingers. If you don’t want to look like you’re hatching an evil plan, don’t drum your fingers while steepling! This is a cue for scheming and should be avoided."
-Page 125 "One of my favorite cues as a presenter is the “this is going to be good” cue. Rubbing your palms together in excited anticipation is a great way to get an audience excited. Taking off one’s glasses or rolling up your sleeves can also have the same effect, signaling that you’re really getting into the material."
-Page 165 "Similarly, if you’re challenged with RBF, try positioning your camera slightly higher than your eyeline. This makes you look up, which widens your eyes and makes you look more awake."
-Page 180 "Step #2: Speak on the out breath. Taking a deep breath is one of the fastest ways to feel and sound more confident. Try not to speak at the top of your inhale."
-Page 185 "Two Truths and a Lie Have you ever played two truths and a lie? It’s a great way to test your people-reading abilities. I’ll give you an insider tip on spotting the lie: People often drop their volume when sharing their lie (or use the question inflection)."
-Page 200 "What do you do when you hear your phone ring? I noticed I take in a quick inhale and then hold it until I can answer. Sometimes this can last for a few seconds as I search for my phone. This causes me to answer the phone in a small, tight voice and with very little breath. In fact, when I recorded my phone calls, I noticed my “Hello?” was the highest-pitched word in the entire phone call!"
-Page 204 "Use words that cue for nonverbal warmth more than the standard neutral positive openers like “Thanks for coming” or “Great to see you.”"
-Page 208 "The best way to use a nonverbal script is to help you remember where you need to add vocal variety, nonverbal emphasis, or helpful gestures."
-Page 209 "ACTION STEPS Struggle with pauses or speak too fast? Add pause lines. Speak too slow? Print slow sections in a different color. I like green for fast (as in a green light) and red for slow. Forget to smile? Type or draw a smiley face in your notes. Want to lean in, nod, or add emphasis to a certain section? Bold it or add the cue in the margins. Find it difficult to make eye contact with the audience? Add “LOOK UP"
-Page 214 "How can you vocally mirror authentically? The key here is subtle and natural. If you hear a word you like, use it! This is easy when someone is asking for confirmation: They say, “Okay?” You reply, “Okay!” They say, “Got it?” You say, “Got it!” They say, “Aha!” while listening to you. You say, “Aha!” while responding to them."
-Page 242 "And, of course, we’re anti-boring. I have a number of engaging activities planned where the entire goal is inspiring change. Would you like to see a video demo?”"
-Page 248 "YOU DO YOU.” And did you notice the RSVP code? “Hellyes” is a great verbal cue for excitement."
-Page 249 "Comic Sans is good for memory. Researchers asked participants to read a story about a fictional alien creature. They remembered more when the story was printed in Comic Sans compared to Arial"
July 12, 2022
Good structure with short thematic chapters, easy to read, practical examples from the daily corporate life.
January 12, 2024
Easily digestable and very interesting ! I would recommend to everyone
January 8, 2025
Very helpful!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 223 reviews