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For the Fans
Kyran Harbor is everything I’m not.
Rich. Popular. A superstar football player who’s awfully broody for someone who has it all. Basically, he’s a preppy jock who hates me. Oh, and he’s also my stepbrother.
That’s right. We’re stuck together, sharing a school, a house… A bathroom. Honestly, I wouldn’t care… If he wasn’t such an uptight control-freak who messes with me just because we’re different.
I had every intention of avoiding him when we got to college… Until abrupt misfortune forces us both into a compromising position.
Now the grouchy jerk I was hoping to evade might be the only person who can help me out of it.
Avi Vega is everything I despise.
A dreamer. A flake. An artist who smokes too much weed and thinks aliens exist. And by some sick cosmic joke, he’s now my stepbrother, following me on what should’ve been my escape plan.
It was already a disaster. Add a sudden financial disruption to the mix, and let’s just say my options are heavily limited.
If I want to stay an all-star quarterback on the way to the NFL, I’ll need to do something drastic. Unfortunately for me, and my desperate desire for control, the perpetually smiling stoner has a plan.
Maybe we can stop hating each other just enough to pull this off. As long as we remember we’re only doing it… for the fans.
** For The Fans is a full-length standalone MM forbidden romance with an HEA. This book contains sensitive subject matter that could make some readers uncomfortable. Please heed foreword warnings and proceed with caution.
Rich. Popular. A superstar football player who’s awfully broody for someone who has it all. Basically, he’s a preppy jock who hates me. Oh, and he’s also my stepbrother.
That’s right. We’re stuck together, sharing a school, a house… A bathroom. Honestly, I wouldn’t care… If he wasn’t such an uptight control-freak who messes with me just because we’re different.
I had every intention of avoiding him when we got to college… Until abrupt misfortune forces us both into a compromising position.
Now the grouchy jerk I was hoping to evade might be the only person who can help me out of it.
Avi Vega is everything I despise.
A dreamer. A flake. An artist who smokes too much weed and thinks aliens exist. And by some sick cosmic joke, he’s now my stepbrother, following me on what should’ve been my escape plan.
It was already a disaster. Add a sudden financial disruption to the mix, and let’s just say my options are heavily limited.
If I want to stay an all-star quarterback on the way to the NFL, I’ll need to do something drastic. Unfortunately for me, and my desperate desire for control, the perpetually smiling stoner has a plan.
Maybe we can stop hating each other just enough to pull this off. As long as we remember we’re only doing it… for the fans.
** For The Fans is a full-length standalone MM forbidden romance with an HEA. This book contains sensitive subject matter that could make some readers uncomfortable. Please heed foreword warnings and proceed with caution.
546 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 23, 2023
About the author
Nyla K.
27 books5,020 followersAuthor of Flipping Hot Fiction. I write big books and I cannot lie, *insert smirky face*. Specializing in LGBTQ+ representation.
Nyla K is a quirky world-traveler with a sailor mouth and a filthy mind. She writes the dark, and the dirty, but most importantly, UNIQUE romantic fiction. Her smutty and taboo love stories are not for the faint of heart, so beware!
Nyla believes in the relevant, boundary-pushing, mind-bending side of erotic fiction, which is always what to expect from her. If you're looking for the same old story, you won't get that with Nyla K. But if you want complex characters, and stories that stick in your mind like a bad case of crabs... you've come to the right place ;).
Nyla K is a quirky world-traveler with a sailor mouth and a filthy mind. She writes the dark, and the dirty, but most importantly, UNIQUE romantic fiction. Her smutty and taboo love stories are not for the faint of heart, so beware!
Nyla believes in the relevant, boundary-pushing, mind-bending side of erotic fiction, which is always what to expect from her. If you're looking for the same old story, you won't get that with Nyla K. But if you want complex characters, and stories that stick in your mind like a bad case of crabs... you've come to the right place ;).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 6,852 reviews
March 27, 2024
➳
4.5/5 stars
✶࿐
"But the truth is that I’m in love with him. I’m so crazy in love with him, and I just want to be with him… To hold his hand, and buy him Twizzlers, and listen to him talk about reptilians. I want to support him like he’s supported me, and I want to see his eyes sparkle when he’s excited. I’m in love with Avi Vega, wholly, truly, un-fucking-deniably"
Well, diving into m/m romance wasn't part of my 2024 bingo card but then i said fuck it and decided to just give it a shot and also because siff just kept talking about them and i got intrigued. Honestly, i have heard alot of people raving about nyla k and this book and as per the record i have always gotten nothing but disappointments from ig recs or the hyped books but THIS BOOK it didn't disappoint me not even in the least. Every element of this book—the characters, the storyline, the writing, the chemistry, and the sexual tension—was beyond perfection. I won't lie; I was so obsessed with this book that even if I tried, I couldn't put it down.
Avi, the stoner kid with a reputation for being different, experiences a major upheaval when his mother decides to remarry. Moving in with the new stepdad and his grumpy son Kyran , Avi makes earnest efforts to connect with his stepbrother. However, despite Avi's attempts to establish a bond, he gradually realizes that his stepbrother harbors an inexplicable dislike for him. As Avi extends multiple olive branches, the resentment remains, leaving him stuck with an asshole stepbrother who seems to harbor hate towards him without any apparent reason.
╰┈➤ Avi Vega
Avi, the seemingly carefree stoner, conceals a complex character grappling with personal flaws and insecurities, finding solace in smoking. Despite outward comfort, the uncertainty about his future gnaws at him. Avi embodies the free-spirited individual who goes with the flow, yet the fear of making wrong decisions looms large in his life, adding layers to his character.
Avi's character is a complex interplay of emotions and insecurities. The loss of his father at a young age casts a long shadow, leaving him with an enduring sense of inadequacy. This emotional baggage manifests as a fear of never being enough, discouraging Avi from attempting to conform to societal expectations. Deep-rooted anxiety prevents him from opening up to others, as he constantly worries about becoming too needy or overwhelming. The absence of romantic experience compounds his unease, making him hesitant to explore deeper connections. In the midst of these challenges, Avi faces the introduction of a new stepfamily. Despite genuine attempts to forge connections, the process proves challenging, leading him to withdraw and question the feasibility of forming meaningful relationships.
Amidst Avi's layers of issues and insecurities, there lies a profound desire for unconditional love. Beneath his exterior of complexities, he is a genuine sweetheart who wholeheartedly supports his friends, acting as a beacon of positivity. What truly sets him apart is his arsenal of sassy and witty replies, a quality that adds a delightful charm to his character. Avi's ability to bring a smile to anyone's face, regardless of the circumstances, showcases his unique capacity to infuse joy into the lives of those around him.
╰┈➤ Kyran Harbor
Kyran, the epitome of a stereotypical stepbrother, is portrayed as the grumpy, football-obsessed type who meticulously plans every aspect of his life. His dedication to perfection and conformity clashes starkly with Avi's more laid-back demeanor. The clash of their personalities, with Avi's free-spirited attitude contrasting Kyran's structured life, becomes the central theme of their tumultuous relationship.
Kyran, burdened by a traumatic past, copes by shutting down his emotions and projecting an image of perfection. His encounter with Avi serves as a catalyst for self-reflection, prompting him to confront the person he could have become without the weight of his past. The ensuing frustration and self-hatred directed at Avi unfold as a complex layer in their relationship.
Kyran's character development throughout the story was truly remarkable. Despite my initial dislike, witnessing him evolve into a more open and affectionate person as he fell in love was heartwarming. The transformation from an uptight individual to a caring sweetheart added depth to his character, making him more lovable as the story progressed.
╰┈➤ Kyran and Avi
Kyran and Avi, though seemingly incompatible, created a dynamic that was nothing short of magical. Their banter was like a symphony of wit and humor, and the sparks of their chemistry ignited the pages. As the story unfolded, we witnessed the evolution of their relationship, from initial tension to a beautifully woven connection. The exploration of their characters, vulnerabilities, and the profound moments of self-discovery made the narrative rich and engaging.
Kyran and Avi's dynamic was like two perfectly fitting puzzle pieces. Their chemistry, banter, sexual tension, and love were all off the charts. Despite my best efforts, finding a flaw in this book proved challenging because everything about it was beyond perfection.
Their dynamic was like a finely tuned melody, each note perfectly harmonizing with the other. The intimate moments were not just well-crafted but also added a layer of emotional depth to the narrative. The book's addictive nature, combined with the seamless blend of humor and sensuality, made it an irresistible read.
°˖➴ Overall, if you're on the lookout for a book with intense banter, well-crafted characters, phenomenal chemistry, and a level of sexual tension that practically leaps off the pages and wraps around you, then your search ends here. And yeah let me warn you people this book is highly addictive so proceed with caution!! 💌
౨ৎ QUOTES ✧˖°.
⚘ “I’m not gonna fuck you for money, Avi,” “Who says you’d be fucking me?”
⚘ “It’s not a chase if I’m desperate to let you catch me.”
⚘ "Maybe the reason I’ve been fighting this so hard is because I knew it was inevitable… The chemistry of hate was never strong enough to overpower the hunger of want"
⚘ "It’s never been an accident with you, Kyran.”
⚘ “I love you, Avi Vega.”
" I love you so hard, Kyran Harbor.”
ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅
ᥫ᭡ pre-read review ✧˖°.
reading this only bc mother siffie loved it 😌🤌🏻
"But the truth is that I’m in love with him. I’m so crazy in love with him, and I just want to be with him… To hold his hand, and buy him Twizzlers, and listen to him talk about reptilians. I want to support him like he’s supported me, and I want to see his eyes sparkle when he’s excited. I’m in love with Avi Vega, wholly, truly, un-fucking-deniably"
Well, diving into m/m romance wasn't part of my 2024 bingo card but then i said fuck it and decided to just give it a shot and also because siff just kept talking about them and i got intrigued. Honestly, i have heard alot of people raving about nyla k and this book and as per the record i have always gotten nothing but disappointments from ig recs or the hyped books but THIS BOOK it didn't disappoint me not even in the least. Every element of this book—the characters, the storyline, the writing, the chemistry, and the sexual tension—was beyond perfection. I won't lie; I was so obsessed with this book that even if I tried, I couldn't put it down.
Avi, the stoner kid with a reputation for being different, experiences a major upheaval when his mother decides to remarry. Moving in with the new stepdad and his grumpy son Kyran , Avi makes earnest efforts to connect with his stepbrother. However, despite Avi's attempts to establish a bond, he gradually realizes that his stepbrother harbors an inexplicable dislike for him. As Avi extends multiple olive branches, the resentment remains, leaving him stuck with an asshole stepbrother who seems to harbor hate towards him without any apparent reason.
╰┈➤ Avi Vega
Avi, the seemingly carefree stoner, conceals a complex character grappling with personal flaws and insecurities, finding solace in smoking. Despite outward comfort, the uncertainty about his future gnaws at him. Avi embodies the free-spirited individual who goes with the flow, yet the fear of making wrong decisions looms large in his life, adding layers to his character.
Avi's character is a complex interplay of emotions and insecurities. The loss of his father at a young age casts a long shadow, leaving him with an enduring sense of inadequacy. This emotional baggage manifests as a fear of never being enough, discouraging Avi from attempting to conform to societal expectations. Deep-rooted anxiety prevents him from opening up to others, as he constantly worries about becoming too needy or overwhelming. The absence of romantic experience compounds his unease, making him hesitant to explore deeper connections. In the midst of these challenges, Avi faces the introduction of a new stepfamily. Despite genuine attempts to forge connections, the process proves challenging, leading him to withdraw and question the feasibility of forming meaningful relationships.
Amidst Avi's layers of issues and insecurities, there lies a profound desire for unconditional love. Beneath his exterior of complexities, he is a genuine sweetheart who wholeheartedly supports his friends, acting as a beacon of positivity. What truly sets him apart is his arsenal of sassy and witty replies, a quality that adds a delightful charm to his character. Avi's ability to bring a smile to anyone's face, regardless of the circumstances, showcases his unique capacity to infuse joy into the lives of those around him.
╰┈➤ Kyran Harbor
Kyran, the epitome of a stereotypical stepbrother, is portrayed as the grumpy, football-obsessed type who meticulously plans every aspect of his life. His dedication to perfection and conformity clashes starkly with Avi's more laid-back demeanor. The clash of their personalities, with Avi's free-spirited attitude contrasting Kyran's structured life, becomes the central theme of their tumultuous relationship.
Kyran, burdened by a traumatic past, copes by shutting down his emotions and projecting an image of perfection. His encounter with Avi serves as a catalyst for self-reflection, prompting him to confront the person he could have become without the weight of his past. The ensuing frustration and self-hatred directed at Avi unfold as a complex layer in their relationship.
Kyran's character development throughout the story was truly remarkable. Despite my initial dislike, witnessing him evolve into a more open and affectionate person as he fell in love was heartwarming. The transformation from an uptight individual to a caring sweetheart added depth to his character, making him more lovable as the story progressed.
╰┈➤ Kyran and Avi
Kyran and Avi, though seemingly incompatible, created a dynamic that was nothing short of magical. Their banter was like a symphony of wit and humor, and the sparks of their chemistry ignited the pages. As the story unfolded, we witnessed the evolution of their relationship, from initial tension to a beautifully woven connection. The exploration of their characters, vulnerabilities, and the profound moments of self-discovery made the narrative rich and engaging.
Kyran and Avi's dynamic was like two perfectly fitting puzzle pieces. Their chemistry, banter, sexual tension, and love were all off the charts. Despite my best efforts, finding a flaw in this book proved challenging because everything about it was beyond perfection.
Their dynamic was like a finely tuned melody, each note perfectly harmonizing with the other. The intimate moments were not just well-crafted but also added a layer of emotional depth to the narrative. The book's addictive nature, combined with the seamless blend of humor and sensuality, made it an irresistible read.
°˖➴ Overall, if you're on the lookout for a book with intense banter, well-crafted characters, phenomenal chemistry, and a level of sexual tension that practically leaps off the pages and wraps around you, then your search ends here. And yeah let me warn you people this book is highly addictive so proceed with caution!! 💌
౨ৎ QUOTES ✧˖°.
⚘ “I’m not gonna fuck you for money, Avi,” “Who says you’d be fucking me?”
⚘ “It’s not a chase if I’m desperate to let you catch me.”
⚘ "Maybe the reason I’ve been fighting this so hard is because I knew it was inevitable… The chemistry of hate was never strong enough to overpower the hunger of want"
⚘ "It’s never been an accident with you, Kyran.”
⚘ “I love you, Avi Vega.”
" I love you so hard, Kyran Harbor.”
ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅
ᥫ᭡ pre-read review ✧˖°.
reading this only bc mother siffie loved it 😌🤌🏻
November 20, 2024
4/5
Holy shi- it was good. This book will probably be in my top three favorite MM romances for sure, if not top two. This book was one of my most anticipated books of the year and I was definitely not disappointed. Nyla K said the book will be thick, seven hundred pages thick, and let me tell you I devour it in two days. My eyes literally burn, I couldn’t put it down. The amount of highlights I did- I should be embarrassed about it, because probably every page is highlighted. I already can’t wait to reread it.
*I received an arc copy from the author and this is my honest review.*
Holy shi- it was good. This book will probably be in my top three favorite MM romances for sure, if not top two. This book was one of my most anticipated books of the year and I was definitely not disappointed. Nyla K said the book will be thick, seven hundred pages thick, and let me tell you I devour it in two days. My eyes literally burn, I couldn’t put it down. The amount of highlights I did- I should be embarrassed about it, because probably every page is highlighted. I already can’t wait to reread it.
*I received an arc copy from the author and this is my honest review.*
December 4, 2024
|| 4.0 stars ||
➛First read: February/March 2023 | ★4.5 stars
➛Second read: December 2024 | ★4.0 stars
Oh my god. This was so good, I’m honestly shocked! I did not expect to like this as much as I did, and this far exceeded any of my expectations.
I mean, I’m normally not much of a fan when it comes to smut, and this is literally a romance where the two main characters create an OnlyFans together: That does not exactly sound like a match made in heaven for me, does it? But wow, did this surprise me! In a really really good way.
Sure, it does have a lot of sex scenes, but they were somehow just... different. Not only were they one of the hottest sex scenes I have ever read, they were also meaningful. When they were being physical with each other, it did not feel like lust to me. Instead, it felt incredibly intimate, emotional and deep. Each time these two got together, it felt like they grew closer and closer, and I was completely enraptured.
I was convinced I would grow bored with all the sex, especially since this book is incredibly long, but I simply didn’t. Not at all! And that’s coming from someone who literally does not like sex scenes whatsoever. So, if you are a smut reader? Damn, you will love this book with all your might!!
I also really appreciated the connection these two had with each other. It was a slow burn enemies-to-lovers romance between step brothers, and the build-up was FANTASTIC! I don’t want to get in to anything too much, but the way these two truly could not stand each other at first, they way they slowly grew towards each other, the way they slowly let their walls down, the way they kept denying their true feelings, the way they both supported each other like no one else had before: I LOVED IT!
Also, the role-reversal between these two was amazing! The character who’s popular and seemingly more confident, Kyran, becomes more submissive(-ish) and needy, while the geeky one, Avi, is more of a leader in bed with a dirty mouth and a gentle touch.
Still, Avi is so obsessed with Kyran he would do anything for him. He is patient beyond words, and he would have done anything to be with Kyran, or even be close to him. He would never do anything to hurt or upset him. It was so well done and their dynamic felt super authentic for them.
The hurt-comfort trope was also really strong here, especially since one of the main characters has a deeply traumatic history, which I will not reveal, but it was devastating, and his character had so many layers. His trauma truly felt like it was part of him from beginning to end and it was just beautiful as well as heartbreaking. His character was truly so well developed, and it once again showed the depth this story was able to portray. I was so happy that he got someone who was there for him unconditionally. These two were honestly so dependant on each other and they truly became each other’s world. They were each other’s comfort and one remaining light in the darkness.
Honestly, I loved both of these characters so much and I’m genuinely obsessed with their love story. I couldn’t get enough of them! I'm not sure what else I can say about this book other than: wow.
➛First read: February/March 2023 | ★4.5 stars
➛Second read: December 2024 | ★4.0 stars
Oh my god. This was so good, I’m honestly shocked! I did not expect to like this as much as I did, and this far exceeded any of my expectations.
“I’m like... stupidly in love with you.”
“Baby... I’m fucking moronically in love with you.”
I mean, I’m normally not much of a fan when it comes to smut, and this is literally a romance where the two main characters create an OnlyFans together: That does not exactly sound like a match made in heaven for me, does it? But wow, did this surprise me! In a really really good way.
Sure, it does have a lot of sex scenes, but they were somehow just... different. Not only were they one of the hottest sex scenes I have ever read, they were also meaningful. When they were being physical with each other, it did not feel like lust to me. Instead, it felt incredibly intimate, emotional and deep. Each time these two got together, it felt like they grew closer and closer, and I was completely enraptured.
I was convinced I would grow bored with all the sex, especially since this book is incredibly long, but I simply didn’t. Not at all! And that’s coming from someone who literally does not like sex scenes whatsoever. So, if you are a smut reader? Damn, you will love this book with all your might!!
Each time we’re together, it gets deeper. More intense, more staggering, more... beautiful. More terrifying.
I also really appreciated the connection these two had with each other. It was a slow burn enemies-to-lovers romance between step brothers, and the build-up was FANTASTIC! I don’t want to get in to anything too much, but the way these two truly could not stand each other at first, they way they slowly grew towards each other, the way they slowly let their walls down, the way they kept denying their true feelings, the way they both supported each other like no one else had before: I LOVED IT!
Kyran Harbor is the love of my life. That’s it. I’ve fallen. Hook, line, and sinker, he has my whole heart.
Also, the role-reversal between these two was amazing! The character who’s popular and seemingly more confident, Kyran, becomes more submissive(-ish) and needy, while the geeky one, Avi, is more of a leader in bed with a dirty mouth and a gentle touch.
“Tell me you think I’m beautiful.”
“Baby... You are so goddamn beautiful. I don’t think, I know.”
Still, Avi is so obsessed with Kyran he would do anything for him. He is patient beyond words, and he would have done anything to be with Kyran, or even be close to him. He would never do anything to hurt or upset him. It was so well done and their dynamic felt super authentic for them.
“I just thought you might like to know that Zeb found your OnlyFans.”
“He what!?” Kyran barks, eyes widening in terror.
“Kyran, will you please just go eat your food?” I hiss at him. “I’m handling this.” He pins me with a glare, and I gulp, instantly backpedalling. “I’m sorry, baby.” I try to rub his shoulder, but he rips away from me. “That was rude... I didn’t mean it. I just don’t want you to worry, okay?”
The hurt-comfort trope was also really strong here, especially since one of the main characters has a deeply traumatic history, which I will not reveal, but it was devastating, and his character had so many layers. His trauma truly felt like it was part of him from beginning to end and it was just beautiful as well as heartbreaking. His character was truly so well developed, and it once again showed the depth this story was able to portray. I was so happy that he got someone who was there for him unconditionally. These two were honestly so dependant on each other and they truly became each other’s world. They were each other’s comfort and one remaining light in the darkness.
“It was for you, Kyran. For fucking you, and that’s it. Every single thing I did... I did for you. To have you.”
Honestly, I loved both of these characters so much and I’m genuinely obsessed with their love story. I couldn’t get enough of them! I'm not sure what else I can say about this book other than: wow.
August 21, 2023
IDK WHAT IS IN THIS BOOK BUT WHATEVER IT IS… GIVE ME MORE!!!!!!!!!
January 14, 2024
➵ 4.25 stars
summary:
avi has always been known for being a little different, he’s always been the stoner kid who smokes a lot of weed. he lives alone with his mom, because his dad died when he was little. but suddenly his mom tells him she has been seeing someone for some months, and soon after that avi and his mom moves in with his new stepdad and his new grumpy stepbrother. not everything goes so smoothly after that, because it turns out kyran his stepbrother hates everything about avi, and avi isn’t exactly fond of him either. avi tries to give kyran a chance, but kyran turns out to just be an asshole who only cares about football.
okay so i actually didn’t plan on writing the review so soon, but i feel like i have to get my thoughts down on something, so i figured why the hell not. i also just want to say something before we get into the review thing, i’m in a review slump so sorry if this is a little bit messy, and i also just wanted to get it out there that this was my first mm romance and i’m not exactly super experienced in all that lgbtq+ stuff, so i’m sorry if i’m saying anything that could possibly offend anyone, because that’s for sure not my intention. i have a habit of saying/writing whatever comes to mind and i’m a person who often turns everything into something with humour because that’s quite literally the only way i know how to express myself, so i’m just going with he flow on this one. plus i’m not always so good with words, so dm me if there is anything <3
as i said this was my first mm romance, and if you don’t know what that is it’s where both main characters are guys/men. i actually didn’t think i’d love this book as much as i did, i always thought there had to be a fmc pov in a book not for me to enjoy it, but for me to relate more to it because after all i am a female myself. but i actually just absolutely loved this book and i quite literally ate it up. i didn’t miss or need a fmc at all, which surprised me a little. tbh right now the only thing i wanna do is go buy more mm romances so if you have any recs please feel free to comment them or send me a dm. i chose this book because i saw a reel on instagram of it and it looked really good tbh, and then i saw it had good ratings on goodreads and then i just brought it immediately. these past few days i’ve also been wanting to try something new, so i guess this book was my something new and lucky for me it turned out amazing. i also wanna try out an ff romance sometime but tbh i feel like i might not love it as much as mm romances, because like don’t get me wrong woman are awesome and i love them but i’m not attracted to them, but trying it out can’t hurt.
i actually wasn’t sure about the topic onlyfans in a book and thought i’d absolutely hate it, but the author made it work for me. however i don’t think i’d like it in a cute little romance book, because honestly i hate these kinda references in books. i think i liked it in this book because it was a very smutty book, i don’t know if i would call it a dark romance, but it isn’t exactly light either. there’s a lot of smut but we’ll get into the smut thing later.
characters:
avi vega / backwardz_cap
avi is literally such a babe, i absolutely love everything about him. he’s comfortable being himself, and being a little different, but he’s still insecure in other ways, but we’ll get into that. even tho avi is is comfortable being himself he still doesn’t know who he is. he always used to smoke away his feelings/emotions with weed, but you can’t really do that forever, and him slowly just finding himself and finding out who he is makes even my heart smile. avi is a little complicated because he’s got some kind of abandonment issues but i’m just sure the name for it is exactly abandonment issues but that’s the best way i can explain it. he’s afraid of letting people all the way in and then them leaving him right after. he’s never really been in a relationship because he’s never been in love, and he’s never wanted to commit to anyone in that way, because it feels like they’re too close and it would hurt too much if they left right after. which tbh i’m sure a lot of people relate to because who wants to be left ? exactly. absolutely no one. avi is literally such a sweetheart and i’m just absolutely in love with him. if he were real i’d wanna be best friends with him, he’s always so supportive and he’s just that person that always brings a smile to your facewell not kyran’s face in the start, but even he gives in. and trust me that’s impressive.
kyran harbor / not_your_baby
kyran is that asshole you just can’t help but to fall for. in the start he was the definition of annoying istg, he was such a little shit, but even then i loved himi’ve got serious problems i already know that, so you don’t have to tell me. he started off as that original grumpy, football, annoyingly hot asshole. but the more i saw of him the deeper he was. i absolutely loved reading kyran’s pov, but he also broke my heart multiple times. this man is complicated, and we love complicated characters, but it’s typically also the ones that break our hearts. kyran has some trauma that made him feel like he couldn’t be the real him, people around him mainly his father made him feel like he needed to be this straight, perfect, football obsessed, asshole. he’s been hiding from the real him for so long that he started to believe he actually was that person. and that really broke my heart, because no one deserves to feel like they can’t be themselves, but i get it because sometimes everything just sucks. what’s the craziest thing that i’ve actually never experienced on this level before was that i absolutely couldn’t even recognize kyran, after i got further into the book. he was absolutely miserable in the start, and throughout the end he was so happy i seriously couldn’t recognize him, that shit was crazy and i’m so incredibly proud and happy for him. when i found out about his backstory i absolutely broke, everything just clicked and i started understanding why he acted like he did. reading about him opening up and becoming comfortable about who he was made me so happy, and gosh when he stopped running from himself i was just smiling like an idiot with tears rolling down my cheeks.
⎯ avi and kyran stole a little piece of my heart i’m not gonna lie. they were absolutely scrumptious and i literally ate it up. these two just fit so perfectly together, and the way you just knew they lightened each other’s worlds up was swoon worthy. whenever they called each other “baby” >>> i’ve never loved the nickname “baby” this much before. i wouldn’t exactly call them enemies to lovers, but definitely dislike to lovers. their story is obviously complicated, but the best things aren’t always easy. the bantering, tension, lust, jealousy, etc. was just about perfect. don’t get me wrong i loved the smut, but those small little adorable moments they had together was my favorite thing ever and i’ll tug them into my heart and lock them up for whenever i want to smile. these two gave me some kind of comfort because they just always made me smile, laugh, cry (mostly happy tears, keyword being “mostly”) etc. tbh my straight ass loved this because two hot guys ? what’s not to like. anyways i just really fell in love with these two together, and i’m so incredibly happy that i decided to try this out and that it turned out to be such a great experience makes it even better, because no one likes wasted money.
now i need to dedicate a “little” paragraph to the smut because there’s just so much to talk about. the smut was absolutely incredible and istg it was so unnecessarily good. it took me a minute to get used to the fact that there wasn’t any woman involved in it, but when a woman was involved (there was a threesome scene in the start) i just wanted her to leave immediately. and then i started getting used to it and shit grew on me let me tell you that. i’ve read a lot of dark romances with a lot of smut, but none of it (of what i can remember at the top of my head) can even begin to compare to this, and i truly don’t know what it was about it i liked so much it was just so deep and so different. and omg the tension was so thick i could literally cut it with a knife. i need to go a little into detail now so if you hate smut skip this part. the way kyran turned completely submissive was probably the hottest thing i’ve ever read. i think it was because he was such a control freak and then the second they were behind close doors kyran just let go completely. and lemme tell you avi took completely control and holy shit, i didn’t see that one coming that’s for sure. but i was here for it, and you guessed it i’m gonna say it again… i ate it tf up. i seriously didn’t think i’d like the smut this much without a female pov but wow i was wrong. it was lip-biting, gasp worthy, jaw droopingly hot. so if you’re a smut lover like myself i’d recommend, but you gotta go into this book with an open mind. there was a lot of smut in this book, but it didn’t really matter because it was in those scenes where avi and kyran were themselves the most, and just let go. there were times where i cringed a little i’m not gonna lie, but that wasn’t because of the things they did, it was just some of the dirty talk that i could’ve done without.
favorite moments and quotes:
“If she doesn’t have the respect to talk to me first before just hooking up with another guy, then I sure as fuck don’t respect her enough to end it face to face.”
“You’re making it harder.”
“You’re such a fucking queer.”
“But you’re the one jerking my dick off right now”
“Not my hand.”
“Might as well be.”
“Don’t…”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t even fucking think about it.”
“What am I thinking about ?”
“Do not fucking kiss me…”
“Why would I kiss you?”
“Just… d-dont. Please.”
“We’ll flip for it.”
“No fucking way! I’m not gonna flip a coin to decide who fucks who.”
“Whom.”
“I’m going to hit you.”
”Kyran… stop being ridiculous. Get that sexy ass over here. Now.”
“I hate you so fucking much.”
“Slow, baby.”
“If you call me baby again, I’ll stuff my whole hand in here.”
“Call me by my name, you unbearable nuisance.”
“I’m gonna call you whatever the fuck I want, superstar. Get used to it.”
“Avi…”
“Mhm?”
“Tell me…”
“Tell you what?”
“Tell me you think I’m beautiful.”
“Baby… You are so goddam beautiful. I don’t think, I know.”
“You’re beautiful too, Avi. I think you’re… so fucking sexy.”
“Baby, you’re ruining me…”
“Now you know how I feel.”
“My mouth hangs open for a moment while I just stare at him, feeling like he just ripped the mask clean off my face, and is grazing intently at the ugly mass of doubt underneath.”
“I’m fucking obsessed with you. You were totally right.”
“Good. Because I think I’m kind of obsessed with you too…”
“Baby, I think I’m in love with you. Say it back, Avi. Don’t be a jerk.”
“Just let me revel in this a little more…”
“Fuck off.”
“I’m in love with you. And I’m pretty sure I have been since the moment I met you.”
“But I was so mean to you…”
“I know… I might be a masochist.”
“I love you, Avi.”
“Mmm… I love you, HGB.”
“You’re an annoying idiot.”
“That’s my man.”
“You’re gonna kiss me aren’t you?”
“I don’t think I can help it.”
“Then do it… Please.”
“But the thing I’ve come to realize is… Some anxiety is good. It’s normal. You’re supposed to feel things. We’re made to feel all emotions. good and bad. And I guess it took falling for Kyran to realize I don’t mind feeling the bad sometimes, if it means I get to truly bask in the glory of the good.”
”The real Kyran Harbor wouldn’t be alive without Avi Vega. He’s my reason, my rescue.”
“I’m happy for you. For you… and Avi.”
“I thought you’d be mad… because he’s a guy. And your stepson.”
“I don’t get it. I won’t even try to act like I do… But if this is you, son, then don’t ever change.”
“My angel saved me. He rescued me from hiding. He held me when I needed him, and he loved me when I didn’t. I’m in love with an angel… And his name is Avi.”
“I’m like stupidly in love with you.”
“Baby… I’m fucking moronically in love with you.”
“There are no guarantees in this life. It’s about how hard you’re willing to work, how much of your mental sanity you’re willing to sacrifice.”
“I love you forever, my baby.”
“I love you forever, backwardz angel.”
“𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙮. 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠… 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙡𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚𝙙, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙝𝙞𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩, 𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙙.”
summary:
avi has always been known for being a little different, he’s always been the stoner kid who smokes a lot of weed. he lives alone with his mom, because his dad died when he was little. but suddenly his mom tells him she has been seeing someone for some months, and soon after that avi and his mom moves in with his new stepdad and his new grumpy stepbrother. not everything goes so smoothly after that, because it turns out kyran his stepbrother hates everything about avi, and avi isn’t exactly fond of him either. avi tries to give kyran a chance, but kyran turns out to just be an asshole who only cares about football.
okay so i actually didn’t plan on writing the review so soon, but i feel like i have to get my thoughts down on something, so i figured why the hell not. i also just want to say something before we get into the review thing, i’m in a review slump so sorry if this is a little bit messy, and i also just wanted to get it out there that this was my first mm romance and i’m not exactly super experienced in all that lgbtq+ stuff, so i’m sorry if i’m saying anything that could possibly offend anyone, because that’s for sure not my intention. i have a habit of saying/writing whatever comes to mind and i’m a person who often turns everything into something with humour because that’s quite literally the only way i know how to express myself, so i’m just going with he flow on this one. plus i’m not always so good with words, so dm me if there is anything <3
as i said this was my first mm romance, and if you don’t know what that is it’s where both main characters are guys/men. i actually didn’t think i’d love this book as much as i did, i always thought there had to be a fmc pov in a book not for me to enjoy it, but for me to relate more to it because after all i am a female myself. but i actually just absolutely loved this book and i quite literally ate it up. i didn’t miss or need a fmc at all, which surprised me a little. tbh right now the only thing i wanna do is go buy more mm romances so if you have any recs please feel free to comment them or send me a dm. i chose this book because i saw a reel on instagram of it and it looked really good tbh, and then i saw it had good ratings on goodreads and then i just brought it immediately. these past few days i’ve also been wanting to try something new, so i guess this book was my something new and lucky for me it turned out amazing. i also wanna try out an ff romance sometime but tbh i feel like i might not love it as much as mm romances, because like don’t get me wrong woman are awesome and i love them but i’m not attracted to them, but trying it out can’t hurt.
i actually wasn’t sure about the topic onlyfans in a book and thought i’d absolutely hate it, but the author made it work for me. however i don’t think i’d like it in a cute little romance book, because honestly i hate these kinda references in books. i think i liked it in this book because it was a very smutty book, i don’t know if i would call it a dark romance, but it isn’t exactly light either. there’s a lot of smut but we’ll get into the smut thing later.
characters:
avi vega / backwardz_cap
avi is literally such a babe, i absolutely love everything about him. he’s comfortable being himself, and being a little different, but he’s still insecure in other ways, but we’ll get into that. even tho avi is is comfortable being himself he still doesn’t know who he is. he always used to smoke away his feelings/emotions with weed, but you can’t really do that forever, and him slowly just finding himself and finding out who he is makes even my heart smile. avi is a little complicated because he’s got some kind of abandonment issues but i’m just sure the name for it is exactly abandonment issues but that’s the best way i can explain it. he’s afraid of letting people all the way in and then them leaving him right after. he’s never really been in a relationship because he’s never been in love, and he’s never wanted to commit to anyone in that way, because it feels like they’re too close and it would hurt too much if they left right after. which tbh i’m sure a lot of people relate to because who wants to be left ? exactly. absolutely no one. avi is literally such a sweetheart and i’m just absolutely in love with him. if he were real i’d wanna be best friends with him, he’s always so supportive and he’s just that person that always brings a smile to your face
“𝙄 𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙖 𝙜𝙤.”
“𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚, 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮… 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙢𝙚…”
kyran harbor / not_your_baby
kyran is that asshole you just can’t help but to fall for. in the start he was the definition of annoying istg, he was such a little shit, but even then i loved him
“𝘿𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙖𝙡, 𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚… 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠. 𝘽𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄’𝙢 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙨.”
⎯ avi and kyran stole a little piece of my heart i’m not gonna lie. they were absolutely scrumptious and i literally ate it up. these two just fit so perfectly together, and the way you just knew they lightened each other’s worlds up was swoon worthy. whenever they called each other “baby” >>> i’ve never loved the nickname “baby” this much before. i wouldn’t exactly call them enemies to lovers, but definitely dislike to lovers. their story is obviously complicated, but the best things aren’t always easy. the bantering, tension, lust, jealousy, etc. was just about perfect. don’t get me wrong i loved the smut, but those small little adorable moments they had together was my favorite thing ever and i’ll tug them into my heart and lock them up for whenever i want to smile. these two gave me some kind of comfort because they just always made me smile, laugh, cry (mostly happy tears, keyword being “mostly”) etc. tbh my straight ass loved this because two hot guys ? what’s not to like. anyways i just really fell in love with these two together, and i’m so incredibly happy that i decided to try this out and that it turned out to be such a great experience makes it even better, because no one likes wasted money.
now i need to dedicate a “little” paragraph to the smut because there’s just so much to talk about. the smut was absolutely incredible and istg it was so unnecessarily good. it took me a minute to get used to the fact that there wasn’t any woman involved in it, but when a woman was involved (there was a threesome scene in the start) i just wanted her to leave immediately. and then i started getting used to it and shit grew on me let me tell you that. i’ve read a lot of dark romances with a lot of smut, but none of it (of what i can remember at the top of my head) can even begin to compare to this, and i truly don’t know what it was about it i liked so much it was just so deep and so different. and omg the tension was so thick i could literally cut it with a knife. i need to go a little into detail now so if you hate smut skip this part. the way kyran turned completely submissive was probably the hottest thing i’ve ever read. i think it was because he was such a control freak and then the second they were behind close doors kyran just let go completely. and lemme tell you avi took completely control and holy shit, i didn’t see that one coming that’s for sure. but i was here for it, and you guessed it i’m gonna say it again… i ate it tf up. i seriously didn’t think i’d like the smut this much without a female pov but wow i was wrong. it was lip-biting, gasp worthy, jaw droopingly hot. so if you’re a smut lover like myself i’d recommend, but you gotta go into this book with an open mind. there was a lot of smut in this book, but it didn’t really matter because it was in those scenes where avi and kyran were themselves the most, and just let go. there were times where i cringed a little i’m not gonna lie, but that wasn’t because of the things they did, it was just some of the dirty talk that i could’ve done without.
favorite moments and quotes:
“If she doesn’t have the respect to talk to me first before just hooking up with another guy, then I sure as fuck don’t respect her enough to end it face to face.”
“You’re making it harder.”
“You’re such a fucking queer.”
“But you’re the one jerking my dick off right now”
“Not my hand.”
“Might as well be.”
“Don’t…”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t even fucking think about it.”
“What am I thinking about ?”
“Do not fucking kiss me…”
“Why would I kiss you?”
“Just… d-dont. Please.”
“We’ll flip for it.”
“No fucking way! I’m not gonna flip a coin to decide who fucks who.”
“Whom.”
“I’m going to hit you.”
”Kyran… stop being ridiculous. Get that sexy ass over here. Now.”
“I hate you so fucking much.”
“Slow, baby.”
“If you call me baby again, I’ll stuff my whole hand in here.”
“Call me by my name, you unbearable nuisance.”
“I’m gonna call you whatever the fuck I want, superstar. Get used to it.”
“Avi…”
“Mhm?”
“Tell me…”
“Tell you what?”
“Tell me you think I’m beautiful.”
“Baby… You are so goddam beautiful. I don’t think, I know.”
“You’re beautiful too, Avi. I think you’re… so fucking sexy.”
“Baby, you’re ruining me…”
“Now you know how I feel.”
“My mouth hangs open for a moment while I just stare at him, feeling like he just ripped the mask clean off my face, and is grazing intently at the ugly mass of doubt underneath.”
“I’m fucking obsessed with you. You were totally right.”
“Good. Because I think I’m kind of obsessed with you too…”
“Baby, I think I’m in love with you. Say it back, Avi. Don’t be a jerk.”
“Just let me revel in this a little more…”
“Fuck off.”
“I’m in love with you. And I’m pretty sure I have been since the moment I met you.”
“But I was so mean to you…”
“I know… I might be a masochist.”
“I love you, Avi.”
“Mmm… I love you, HGB.”
“You’re an annoying idiot.”
“That’s my man.”
“You’re gonna kiss me aren’t you?”
“I don’t think I can help it.”
“Then do it… Please.”
“But the thing I’ve come to realize is… Some anxiety is good. It’s normal. You’re supposed to feel things. We’re made to feel all emotions. good and bad. And I guess it took falling for Kyran to realize I don’t mind feeling the bad sometimes, if it means I get to truly bask in the glory of the good.”
”The real Kyran Harbor wouldn’t be alive without Avi Vega. He’s my reason, my rescue.”
“I’m happy for you. For you… and Avi.”
“I thought you’d be mad… because he’s a guy. And your stepson.”
“I don’t get it. I won’t even try to act like I do… But if this is you, son, then don’t ever change.”
“My angel saved me. He rescued me from hiding. He held me when I needed him, and he loved me when I didn’t. I’m in love with an angel… And his name is Avi.”
“I’m like stupidly in love with you.”
“Baby… I’m fucking moronically in love with you.”
“There are no guarantees in this life. It’s about how hard you’re willing to work, how much of your mental sanity you’re willing to sacrifice.”
“I love you forever, my baby.”
“I love you forever, backwardz angel.”
March 6, 2023
✦ giving this only 2 stars would be a little too mean, so i am settling on 2.5 rounded up to 3. but omg, finishing this book was such a chore. i admit i skimmed a lot towards the end.
✦ i liked the hate-to-love and the forbidden aspects. the chemistry between the mcs was great. the push and pull, the jealousy, the possessiveness and the intimacy between them were all delicious. the smut was definitely hot, however, there was entirely too much of it.
"the chemistry of hate was never strong enough to overpower the hunger of want."
✦ i didn't like the predictability of the plot, some of the very OTT aspects, or the absolute fucking insane page count. this wasn't anywhere near complex enough for it to be 736 pages. literally could have been half as long. i think i would have enjoyed it way more then.
✦ i liked the hate-to-love and the forbidden aspects. the chemistry between the mcs was great. the push and pull, the jealousy, the possessiveness and the intimacy between them were all delicious. the smut was definitely hot, however, there was entirely too much of it.
"the chemistry of hate was never strong enough to overpower the hunger of want."
✦ i didn't like the predictability of the plot, some of the very OTT aspects, or the absolute fucking insane page count. this wasn't anywhere near complex enough for it to be 736 pages. literally could have been half as long. i think i would have enjoyed it way more then.
July 19, 2023
"I watched him grow into the amazing man he is today. A man who loves me out in the open, without fear. A man who survived something awful and still laughs and loves and gives. A man who taught me who I truly am. Because if it wasn’t for Kyran Harbor, I’d still be lost myself."
My review is going to be kinda all over the place but I absolutely LOVED and enjoyed For the Fans! Safe to say it's my favourite book by Nyla K to date!
We have two boys who could not be any different—coming from different backgrounds, socioeconomically, religious upbringing, and ethnically. They are total opposites, with one being into Arts and the other the all-American star quarterback! However, their lives soon become intertwined as their families blend, and they become stepbrothers. Soon though, due to financial hardship, the two boys realize they need to work together to ensure they can pay their tuition and not burden their families. All for the Fans, right?
Kyran and Avi were at each other throats from day one! While Avi tried to make peace and accept his stepbrother, Kyran felt as if he had been replaced, left behind by his mother and sister to a father who does not truly see him…ugh, my heart. He is all needles and hate because of all the hurt he carries. Thus they genuinely become enemies! Constant conflict with one another for years. Nyla did a great job at writing a true enemies-to-lovers story!
I love how, no matter how much he pushed and hurled insults at Avi, Avi is always there when he comes back because he knew deep down that Kyran was using anger to cope. Yes, he blows hot and cold to the extreme, but he is battling his own demons and trauma. Sadly lashing out at Avi is a defence mechanism. He envies him yet desires him, which is a lot for Kyran to handle.
Now the steamy stuff because this book is hands down the best OF/Cam story I have read this year! I have read two other books, and I can confidently say Nyla nailed it! It was everything I wanted and more! Goodness. This book was so sexy and filthy. I loved how Kyran got sexually comfortable and open with Avi and just let go with him. The vulnerability was there, and I love how no matter how angry Avi got with him, he never pushed him or made him feel ashamed for wanting what he did.
I loved how it went from just sex to more between them. It became emotional, and at times as much as they wanted to think - or rather Kyan - that it was just for the fans, it wasn’t! I especially loved the moments between them without the filming! The banter between them, the moments when they can just be who they were with one another. I feel like they made major advancements in their relationship romantically in those moments. I don’t want to spoil too much regarding Kyran’s past but my heart breaks for him and I’m so happy that Avi is there to love and treasure him.
The dirty talk!! I loved it so much! I also loved how Kyran NEEDED Avi to praise him and shower him with compliments. I know it comes from feelings of inadequacy and due to his past, but he came alive whenever Avi was there to feed his praise kink. Also the pet names~ I loved it!
This a story focused on caming/OF, so there is a lot of sex, but I felt that it did not feel boring or repetitive at all. Nyla really can write some of the steamiest and hottest sex scenes. I love stories with lots of sex, and this delivered for me. I loved how they slowly started seeing each other as people, friends and then lovers. They connect through sex but it leads to more.
My only issues would be the
Overall this was a fantastic read! I can't recommend this book enough!! It's a long book but wish it was longer. I want more of these boys. If you have triggers please check the Nyla's site as she lists them for this book. If you have none go in blind.
If you love Nyla's stories, Step brothers, enemies to lovers, found family, Grumpy/Sunshine, Sexual awakening, opposites, high steam, and college settings you will enjoy For the Fans!
My review is going to be kinda all over the place but I absolutely LOVED and enjoyed For the Fans! Safe to say it's my favourite book by Nyla K to date!
We have two boys who could not be any different—coming from different backgrounds, socioeconomically, religious upbringing, and ethnically. They are total opposites, with one being into Arts and the other the all-American star quarterback! However, their lives soon become intertwined as their families blend, and they become stepbrothers. Soon though, due to financial hardship, the two boys realize they need to work together to ensure they can pay their tuition and not burden their families. All for the Fans, right?
Kyran and Avi were at each other throats from day one! While Avi tried to make peace and accept his stepbrother, Kyran felt as if he had been replaced, left behind by his mother and sister to a father who does not truly see him…ugh, my heart. He is all needles and hate because of all the hurt he carries. Thus they genuinely become enemies! Constant conflict with one another for years. Nyla did a great job at writing a true enemies-to-lovers story!
I love how, no matter how much he pushed and hurled insults at Avi, Avi is always there when he comes back because he knew deep down that Kyran was using anger to cope. Yes, he blows hot and cold to the extreme, but he is battling his own demons and trauma. Sadly lashing out at Avi is a defence mechanism. He envies him yet desires him, which is a lot for Kyran to handle.
Now the steamy stuff because this book is hands down the best OF/Cam story I have read this year! I have read two other books, and I can confidently say Nyla nailed it! It was everything I wanted and more! Goodness. This book was so sexy and filthy. I loved how Kyran got sexually comfortable and open with Avi and just let go with him. The vulnerability was there, and I love how no matter how angry Avi got with him, he never pushed him or made him feel ashamed for wanting what he did.
I loved how it went from just sex to more between them. It became emotional, and at times as much as they wanted to think - or rather Kyan - that it was just for the fans, it wasn’t! I especially loved the moments between them without the filming! The banter between them, the moments when they can just be who they were with one another. I feel like they made major advancements in their relationship romantically in those moments. I don’t want to spoil too much regarding Kyran’s past but my heart breaks for him and I’m so happy that Avi is there to love and treasure him.
"Being with Avi… being close to him, seeing and feeling and breathing with him, all those things we did together… it’s what set me free. He was the shovel, slowly scooping away the debris to uncover the real Kyran from where he’d been buried alive."
The dirty talk!! I loved it so much! I also loved how Kyran NEEDED Avi to praise him and shower him with compliments. I know it comes from feelings of inadequacy and due to his past, but he came alive whenever Avi was there to feed his praise kink. Also the pet names~ I loved it!
This a story focused on caming/OF, so there is a lot of sex, but I felt that it did not feel boring or repetitive at all. Nyla really can write some of the steamiest and hottest sex scenes. I love stories with lots of sex, and this delivered for me. I loved how they slowly started seeing each other as people, friends and then lovers. They connect through sex but it leads to more.
"I want you with the real Kyran, baby. Because the real Kyran fell so hard in love with you, Avi Vega. You got me here. You're my angel…"
My only issues would be the
Overall this was a fantastic read! I can't recommend this book enough!! It's a long book but wish it was longer. I want more of these boys. If you have triggers please check the Nyla's site as she lists them for this book. If you have none go in blind.
If you love Nyla's stories, Step brothers, enemies to lovers, found family, Grumpy/Sunshine, Sexual awakening, opposites, high steam, and college settings you will enjoy For the Fans!
December 14, 2024
If anyone asks why I read gay romance I’m sending them this book.
For the Fans is one of those rare books able to make 736 pages feel short. While some people find the first part too slow, I knew it was going to be The Book for me since the first chapter. And when the introduction period passed and everything started to happen? It blew my mind.
After losing his dad over ten years ago, Avi knows his mom deserves to fall in love again. The only problem is that his new stepfather comes with a very annoying son who is determined to make Avi’s life hell. Avi doesn’t even get why Kyran hates him so much, when it’s clear he’s better in every sport and subject. But when things start to go wrong for Kyran’s dad and they decide to create videos for the fans to get the money they need, Avi’ll realize there is a lot more going on inside Kyran than what meets the eye. Maybe they could have been more than enemies all along…
I absolutely love this book. The author made so many great choices I’m kicking myself for not enjoying taboo romance because I’d read her entire backlist just for how good this was.
First great choice were the characters; Avi is the nice one, the relatable introvert you’ll fall in love with the second you meet him. He’s sassy, clever, and the best dirty talker probably more cool than what you’d expect in a teen but I was too into him to care. Kyran is the kind of character I’d usually hate if it wasn’t because I trusted the author would make the best redemption arc for him. Ky had almost as many angry-issues as Jiang Cheng; he was pretentious, rude and spent the first 30% acting as a spoiled brat. You can’t imagine how satisfying it was seeing his character growth throughout the book.
Avi stealing hearts from chapter 1:
I’m kind of a weirdo, and I don’t want to have to change myself just to make friends. I’m a strong believer in it’ll happen if and when it happens. ()
Ah, the introvert’s paradox. Waiting for other nerds to come to you.
Kyran advocating for insta-hate:
Avi smiles at (his mom), and I roll my eyes. Why does he smile so much? It makes him look deranged.
The romance structure had everything I love: from angsty slow burn to the best smut, these two went through every phase of being enemies, friends and lovers. But mainly I enjoyed seeing how Kyran slowly started to be unable to hide, showing how much he wanted Avi even when his words cut like glass. There is nothing I love more than seeing the character who was mean to your baby falling first. And while I didn’t need a reason for Kyran to be like that at the beginning of the book–I was fine as long as he redeemed himself-, there is one.
“Boy, if other people worked as hard as you at denying themselves good things, we’d be living in a world without corndogs.” Kyran scoffed, giving me one of his looks while I stepped over to him slowly. “Are you a masochist or something? ‘Cause I’ll edge you…if that’s what you want.”
The typical problem of long books is that they tend to drag out, especially towards the middle. But For the Fans was so full of plot that more pages only meant more time to glow. Small ideas like giving a twist to the cheerleader-captain cliché and making Avi the mascot of Kyran’s team are what make a great book unforgettable, and that’s what the author did here. While you are reading it, it feels like the over seven hundred pages of content fall in place, everything well-thought to give you the perfect composition when you reach the end.
There was only one thing that wasn’t solved but I have a feeling the author’s planning on doing Theo’s story and it will be explained there. But what really got into my nerves was another author adding Spanish sentences that make no sense because they translated everything literally. In this case, even google translator would have done a better job-yes, I checked. It annoys me to no end because they could have just said ‘they said in Spanish’ and that’s it! What’s the point of adding something you didn’t bother to search? It makes me skeptical about everything because, if you can’t check if you wrote something correctly in Spanish-which is the second most spoken language in native speakers-, how am I supposed to believe you handled correctly the representation you included in your book?
To sum up, For the Fans is one of the most satisfying romances I’ve read in all aspects, from progression to structure to character growth, rich in details and characters to fall in love. I’d highly recommend giving it a try–while I pray for the author to write some not-taboo romances from time to time because my shelves are hungry for books like this one.
PD1: For some reason I thought this book was going to be dark–probably because the author said so in the foreword–, but I wouldn't say it was dark. However, it deals with sensitive topics so you should check the TWs before trying it if you have triggers.
PD2: For those who know Spanish, they translated ‘to be’ like ‘estar’ instead of ‘ser’. The character meant to say ‘he’s not his boyfriend’ but instead they said ‘no está su novio’💀(his boyfriend is not here)
Rating: 4.5/5
For the Fans is one of those rare books able to make 736 pages feel short. While some people find the first part too slow, I knew it was going to be The Book for me since the first chapter. And when the introduction period passed and everything started to happen? It blew my mind.
After losing his dad over ten years ago, Avi knows his mom deserves to fall in love again. The only problem is that his new stepfather comes with a very annoying son who is determined to make Avi’s life hell. Avi doesn’t even get why Kyran hates him so much, when it’s clear he’s better in every sport and subject. But when things start to go wrong for Kyran’s dad and they decide to create videos for the fans to get the money they need, Avi’ll realize there is a lot more going on inside Kyran than what meets the eye. Maybe they could have been more than enemies all along…
I absolutely love this book. The author made so many great choices I’m kicking myself for not enjoying taboo romance because I’d read her entire backlist just for how good this was.
First great choice were the characters; Avi is the nice one, the relatable introvert you’ll fall in love with the second you meet him. He’s sassy, clever, and
Avi stealing hearts from chapter 1:
I’m kind of a weirdo, and I don’t want to have to change myself just to make friends. I’m a strong believer in it’ll happen if and when it happens. ()
Ah, the introvert’s paradox. Waiting for other nerds to come to you.
Kyran advocating for insta-hate:
Avi smiles at (his mom), and I roll my eyes. Why does he smile so much? It makes him look deranged.
The romance structure had everything I love: from angsty slow burn to the best smut, these two went through every phase of being enemies, friends and lovers. But mainly I enjoyed seeing how Kyran slowly started to be unable to hide, showing how much he wanted Avi even when his words cut like glass. There is nothing I love more than seeing the character who was mean to your baby falling first. And while I didn’t need a reason for Kyran to be like that at the beginning of the book–I was fine as long as he redeemed himself-, there is one.
“Boy, if other people worked as hard as you at denying themselves good things, we’d be living in a world without corndogs.” Kyran scoffed, giving me one of his looks while I stepped over to him slowly. “Are you a masochist or something? ‘Cause I’ll edge you…if that’s what you want.”
The typical problem of long books is that they tend to drag out, especially towards the middle. But For the Fans was so full of plot that more pages only meant more time to glow. Small ideas like giving a twist to the cheerleader-captain cliché and making Avi the mascot of Kyran’s team are what make a great book unforgettable, and that’s what the author did here. While you are reading it, it feels like the over seven hundred pages of content fall in place, everything well-thought to give you the perfect composition when you reach the end.
There was only one thing that wasn’t solved but I have a feeling the author’s planning on doing Theo’s story and it will be explained there. But what really got into my nerves was another author adding Spanish sentences that make no sense because they translated everything literally. In this case, even google translator would have done a better job-yes, I checked. It annoys me to no end because they could have just said ‘they said in Spanish’ and that’s it! What’s the point of adding something you didn’t bother to search? It makes me skeptical about everything because, if you can’t check if you wrote something correctly in Spanish-which is the second most spoken language in native speakers-, how am I supposed to believe you handled correctly the representation you included in your book?
To sum up, For the Fans is one of the most satisfying romances I’ve read in all aspects, from progression to structure to character growth, rich in details and characters to fall in love. I’d highly recommend giving it a try–while I pray for the author to write some not-taboo romances from time to time because my shelves are hungry for books like this one.
PD1: For some reason I thought this book was going to be dark–probably because the author said so in the foreword–, but I wouldn't say it was dark. However, it deals with sensitive topics so you should check the TWs before trying it if you have triggers.
PD2: For those who know Spanish, they translated ‘to be’ like ‘estar’ instead of ‘ser’. The character meant to say ‘he’s not his boyfriend’ but instead they said ‘no está su novio’💀(his boyfriend is not here)
Rating: 4.5/5
December 8, 2024
BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GAWDDD
July 18, 2023
This was a billion pages!!!! And I was seated and enraptured for all billion!!!! The intimacy!!! The cuddles!!! The tenderness!!!! The jealousy!!! The possessiveness!!! The discovery and acceptance of yourself!!!! The slow burn enemies to lovers aspect being so well done!!!! The characters!!!! I adore them so much!!! Can you tell?? Should I use more exclamation points!?!?
January 26, 2025
4★
main thoughts:
There was some crack in this book because it was actually so addicting help😭 this book was very cute and fun and made me feel lonely at the end. This book definitely has a lot of smut though like chapters in a row so if your not into that then I wouldn't pick this book up, it certainly isnt for everyone. At times during this book I did wish there was less smut and more cute scenes but at the same time I couldn’t stop turning the pages and we did get some really cute scenes at the end that I was happy about. There were also some scenes that irked me that I wish weren’t written because they felt a bit random and just not it tbh.
⤷ I can see why people would find this book cringe because there was a lot of questionable dialogue and cringy words that did disturb me, but I honestly brushed it off and just called it a day because I didn't want to focus on it and it wasn't bad enough that I needed to dnf or anything crazy🥲 also I probably should have hated the fact that they were step brothers but I didn't care in the slightest and seeing as they ended up not being at the end I really just didn't care.
The only other thing I want to mention is that I feel like we never actually got an official answer to who leaked avi’s account and maybe I'm the only one who focused on that part but I wanted to know offically😭 either way I had fun and these characters are just silly and adorable in every way hate or love this book idc I enjoyed it.
characters:
Kyran: 𖦹 omg I am his #1 defender the emotions I felt for him throughout this book threw me for a loop I was not prepared for it in the slightest I am so glad he finally accepted himself in the end and we got to see his true self because he is a cutie☺️
Avi: ✐ᝰ. I never thought of him as a loser and I always loved him😭 that never changed, I do wish we got a bit more from his character because as glad as I am that we focused on kyran’s mental health I do think he still had things he would struggle with that should have potentially been talked about but idk maybe it’s just me, he’s my other cutie pie though🤭
romance: ∞︎︎
Yes, a lot of it is smut, but the way we could see them slowly get vunerable for each other after each interaction was just everything to me, you really had to read between the lines but it was obvious they had strong feelings for each other and when they became softies and cuddly and had such sweet moments it was everything and made me so so happy I love them idc they are crazy and cringe at times, but I love them
quotes I loved:💙
“Baby… You are so goddamn beautiful. I don’t think, I know.”
“Don’t ever apologize for that. You’re worth all the time in the world, baby.
I would’ve waited years for you.”
”For the fans?”
My forehead drops to his and I whisper, “For the fans.”
For us.”
extra:
This is definitely my sign to read more mm romances because they are so addicting and enjoyable ughh
pre review:
╰┈➤ finished on january eighteenth, 2025
ahh this was fun rtc
🏈pre read:🎨
╰┈➤ started on january sixthteenth, 2025
I’ve been seeing this book a lot more and decided it was time for me to give it a chance🫣 I need to read more mm romance anyways, br with my girl jahni😽
main thoughts:
There was some crack in this book because it was actually so addicting help😭 this book was very cute and fun and made me feel lonely at the end. This book definitely has a lot of smut though like chapters in a row so if your not into that then I wouldn't pick this book up, it certainly isnt for everyone. At times during this book I did wish there was less smut and more cute scenes but at the same time I couldn’t stop turning the pages and we did get some really cute scenes at the end that I was happy about. There were also some scenes that irked me that I wish weren’t written because they felt a bit random and just not it tbh.
⤷ I can see why people would find this book cringe because there was a lot of questionable dialogue and cringy words that did disturb me, but I honestly brushed it off and just called it a day because I didn't want to focus on it and it wasn't bad enough that I needed to dnf or anything crazy🥲 also I probably should have hated the fact that they were step brothers but I didn't care in the slightest and seeing as they ended up not being at the end I really just didn't care.
The only other thing I want to mention is that I feel like we never actually got an official answer to who leaked avi’s account and maybe I'm the only one who focused on that part but I wanted to know offically😭 either way I had fun and these characters are just silly and adorable in every way hate or love this book idc I enjoyed it.
characters:
Kyran: 𖦹 omg I am his #1 defender the emotions I felt for him throughout this book threw me for a loop I was not prepared for it in the slightest I am so glad he finally accepted himself in the end and we got to see his true self because he is a cutie☺️
Avi: ✐ᝰ. I never thought of him as a loser and I always loved him😭 that never changed, I do wish we got a bit more from his character because as glad as I am that we focused on kyran’s mental health I do think he still had things he would struggle with that should have potentially been talked about but idk maybe it’s just me, he’s my other cutie pie though🤭
romance: ∞︎︎
Yes, a lot of it is smut, but the way we could see them slowly get vunerable for each other after each interaction was just everything to me, you really had to read between the lines but it was obvious they had strong feelings for each other and when they became softies and cuddly and had such sweet moments it was everything and made me so so happy I love them idc they are crazy and cringe at times, but I love them
quotes I loved:💙
“Baby… You are so goddamn beautiful. I don’t think, I know.”
“Don’t ever apologize for that. You’re worth all the time in the world, baby.
I would’ve waited years for you.”
”For the fans?”
My forehead drops to his and I whisper, “For the fans.”
For us.”
extra:
This is definitely my sign to read more mm romances because they are so addicting and enjoyable ughh
pre review:
╰┈➤ finished on january eighteenth, 2025
ahh this was fun rtc
🏈pre read:🎨
╰┈➤ started on january sixthteenth, 2025
I’ve been seeing this book a lot more and decided it was time for me to give it a chance🫣 I need to read more mm romance anyways, br with my girl jahni😽
December 28, 2024
my third MM romance, and it was a success! ✨ this one was just so emotional, cute, and fun. throughout those six hundred pages, i constantly went through a range of emotions. there were moments when i absolutely got frustrated with how they were treating each other, and the next moment i was swooning for real!
firstly, the whole stepbrothers concept was actually very nicely written here. nothing weird, and the whole HATE TO LOVE aspect was done to perfection. they literally hated each other for three years before they started falling in love, so it did great justice to this trope. i love how the author didn’t rush anything just to showcase the love.
Kyran Harbor and Aviel Vega are literally my babies for real!! 😭💕 i just really liked their characters individually, and to be honest, Ky's character growth was just awesome. he went from being cold and grouchy to such a sweetheart, and that was literally so heartwarming 🥹. i cherished each and every scene of his where he was open, trusting, and happy. Aviel was always his usual goofy self, though i just wished his moments with his father were also shared with Kyran.
the hate sex and the onlyfans co-stars thing were HOT! now, there is A LOT of smut, and i mean it! i don't always like a lot and usually read a maximum of four to five scenes, but i ended up reading quite a few of theirs 😂 so yay? but still, wayyy too much!
and even though i’m happy it wasn’t rushed, it was very long! 😂 Kyran's whole trauma took a backseat, and when they actually fell in love, that was when the trauma was revealed, and to be honest, it was heartbreaking. he didn’t deserve that. a lot of it reminded me of God Of Fury by RK, in many scenes, but 🤷🏻♀️ guess who's the original 😂🫣
birthday scene, drive-in movie date, warm jacket scene, mural scene, christmas scene, party scene, their dance, jealousy scene 😩
i'm glad i read it. it has always been on my tbr, even when i never read MM books, and i'm so, so glad again that i started them.
firstly, the whole stepbrothers concept was actually very nicely written here. nothing weird, and the whole HATE TO LOVE aspect was done to perfection. they literally hated each other for three years before they started falling in love, so it did great justice to this trope. i love how the author didn’t rush anything just to showcase the love.
it's okay to love them both, i did!
Kyran Harbor and Aviel Vega are literally my babies for real!! 😭💕 i just really liked their characters individually, and to be honest, Ky's character growth was just awesome. he went from being cold and grouchy to such a sweetheart, and that was literally so heartwarming 🥹. i cherished each and every scene of his where he was open, trusting, and happy. Aviel was always his usual goofy self, though i just wished his moments with his father were also shared with Kyran.
the hate sex and the onlyfans co-stars thing were HOT! now, there is A LOT of smut, and i mean it! i don't always like a lot and usually read a maximum of four to five scenes, but i ended up reading quite a few of theirs 😂 so yay? but still, wayyy too much!
and even though i’m happy it wasn’t rushed, it was very long! 😂 Kyran's whole trauma took a backseat, and when they actually fell in love, that was when the trauma was revealed, and to be honest, it was heartbreaking. he didn’t deserve that. a lot of it reminded me of God Of Fury by RK, in many scenes, but 🤷🏻♀️ guess who's the original 😂🫣
birthday scene, drive-in movie date, warm jacket scene, mural scene, christmas scene, party scene, their dance, jealousy scene 😩
i'm glad i read it. it has always been on my tbr, even when i never read MM books, and i'm so, so glad again that i started them.
August 1, 2024
For the Fans is one wild ride. I loved this story from beginning to end. I especially enjoyed how well-developed the enemies-to-lovers dynamic is. Kyran and Avi have one complicated stepbrother relationship and I loved every messy second of it. Their dynamic is a great opposite attract enemies to lovers. Avi is the perfect example of carefree and low-stress, while Kyran is an extremely high-strung perfectionist.
Their story is full of steamy moments, but also ones that are very emotionally heartfelt. Kyran on first impression is a jerk, but he is not what he appears and my heart broke as I got to fully understand him. Avi on the other hand is such a sweetheart, someone who has such a big heart and only wants what's best for those he cares about, which includes Kyran.
Their relationship was fun to see change, develop and grow into something so sweet and moving. I think both characters grew a lot and made for one epic couple. They are perfect for one another due to their ability to challenge and persist through every hurdle and challenge. I loved every aspect of this story and cannot wait to see more from these two. They really are something special.
Their story is full of steamy moments, but also ones that are very emotionally heartfelt. Kyran on first impression is a jerk, but he is not what he appears and my heart broke as I got to fully understand him. Avi on the other hand is such a sweetheart, someone who has such a big heart and only wants what's best for those he cares about, which includes Kyran.
Their relationship was fun to see change, develop and grow into something so sweet and moving. I think both characters grew a lot and made for one epic couple. They are perfect for one another due to their ability to challenge and persist through every hurdle and challenge. I loved every aspect of this story and cannot wait to see more from these two. They really are something special.
November 27, 2023
re-read on audio November 2023
Mhm, unfortunately I must say the story didn’t do all that much for me on my re-read. 🤷🏻♀️
The audio was fine, both narrators are new to me and while I loved that Corvin King’s voice reminded me a lot of Christian Fox (whom I love!) his way of narrating sounded like he was in a never-ending sex scene, all breathy and moany. It was hot during the sex scenes but otherwise weird, tbh but it generally seems to be his way.
4**** stars
This could’ve been (or even would’ve been) a 5-star-read. But it also almost was a 1-star dnf.
I loved this story with all my heart, but I didn’t love everything about this book. And that makes me kinda sad because I would’ve loved to put this on my favorites-shelf for this year.
In comparison to other enemies-to-lovers romances the author delivers a great build-up and explanation to the hate Kyran feels for Avi and considering my very own issues I could totally relate to his (misplaced) anger —I probably would’ve despised Avi too. But don’t get me wrong, Avi was a great guy, only not in Kyran’s book. At least not at first.
How they came to be sex partners for Avi’s OnlyFans page and lovers later was just the best kind of tension between them and exhilaration for me.
But you heard all the good stuff from the other reviewers already so I go only into detail why this great story didn’t end up as one of my favorites.
First: it frustrated the hell out of me that, when Avi and Kyran start having sex for OF, all the details we got before about the business where suddenly not addressed anymore. But that was what I wanted to learn about too. We were only told they were successful but there was no evidence on page anymore, like how did the fans respond to certain videos, how was their follower growth or even how much money did they make. I also would’ve loved to know more about the actual content; like was Avi editing the videos and if yes in what capacity, and what about the original sound?
And second, and more importantly: the topic of safe sex is not brought up once and they have penetrative sex bareback without having talked about it first. And they both also were sexually active before they started their thing. I don't think I've missed it, I even searched the book for some keywords, but nothing. I said it before and I say it again: when you (dear author) write sex, I feel like it is your responsibility to make sure your characters are safe while doing it. Otherwise I find it’s irresponsible and a total no no for me —so it’s usually one of the things that throws me off real hard. A content warning here would’ve been appreciated!
Regardless, I was spellbound by this story so despite my frustration with these two topics I could’ve never abandoned it. Sure, there were a few times I was fast-reading a bit, but with more than double the amount of pages than your usual romance it was practically a monster of a book —but like others said before, it didn’t feel that way.
One last thing… for all who read it. What was up with Theo? Why was he acting so weird? Is there going to be a next book?
Mhm, unfortunately I must say the story didn’t do all that much for me on my re-read. 🤷🏻♀️
The audio was fine, both narrators are new to me and while I loved that Corvin King’s voice reminded me a lot of Christian Fox (whom I love!) his way of narrating sounded like he was in a never-ending sex scene, all breathy and moany. It was hot during the sex scenes but otherwise weird, tbh but it generally seems to be his way.
4**** stars
This could’ve been (or even would’ve been) a 5-star-read. But it also almost was a 1-star dnf.
I loved this story with all my heart, but I didn’t love everything about this book. And that makes me kinda sad because I would’ve loved to put this on my favorites-shelf for this year.
In comparison to other enemies-to-lovers romances the author delivers a great build-up and explanation to the hate Kyran feels for Avi and considering my very own issues I could totally relate to his (misplaced) anger —I probably would’ve despised Avi too. But don’t get me wrong, Avi was a great guy, only not in Kyran’s book. At least not at first.
How they came to be sex partners for Avi’s OnlyFans page and lovers later was just the best kind of tension between them and exhilaration for me.
But you heard all the good stuff from the other reviewers already so I go only into detail why this great story didn’t end up as one of my favorites.
First: it frustrated the hell out of me that, when Avi and Kyran start having sex for OF, all the details we got before about the business where suddenly not addressed anymore. But that was what I wanted to learn about too. We were only told they were successful but there was no evidence on page anymore, like how did the fans respond to certain videos, how was their follower growth or even how much money did they make. I also would’ve loved to know more about the actual content; like was Avi editing the videos and if yes in what capacity, and what about the original sound?
And second, and more importantly: the topic of safe sex is not brought up once and they have penetrative sex bareback without having talked about it first. And they both also were sexually active before they started their thing. I don't think I've missed it, I even searched the book for some keywords, but nothing. I said it before and I say it again: when you (dear author) write sex, I feel like it is your responsibility to make sure your characters are safe while doing it. Otherwise I find it’s irresponsible and a total no no for me —so it’s usually one of the things that throws me off real hard. A content warning here would’ve been appreciated!
Regardless, I was spellbound by this story so despite my frustration with these two topics I could’ve never abandoned it. Sure, there were a few times I was fast-reading a bit, but with more than double the amount of pages than your usual romance it was practically a monster of a book —but like others said before, it didn’t feel that way.
One last thing… for all who read it. What was up with Theo? Why was he acting so weird? Is there going to be a next book?
May 17, 2023
First reread: May 2023
***4.5 rating***
I absolutely adore Avi and Kyran. One of my favorite MM romance reads this year❤❤
___________________________
***4.0 rating***
"The chemistry of hate was never strong enough to overpower the hunger of want."
Sometimes, the quarterback doesn't end up with a cheerleader; sometimes, he ends up with the goofy mascot, who cheers for him from the sidelines.
This book truly took me by a surprise. I thought it would be mostly smut, but color me surprised when I turned out to be wrong, and I am so glad that I was.
There are a lot of sex scenes, don't get me wrong, but I enjoyed it. It went with what the author was trying to achieve. The concept was also original. Two stepbrothers who are unexpectedly exploring their sexuality by making an OnlyFans account to afford college and its expenses. I liked the idea from the get-go and wanted to read more; obviously, the 732 pages were a bit of a turnoff, but I devoured this book in less than two days. Kyran and Avi together were hot, sweet, cheesy, vulnerable, and unexpected.
Avi comes into Kyran's life when they are both still in high school, and it's hate at first sight. Kyran is not delighted to share his life with a "weirdo" from New York, but little does he know that the sweet emo boy from Brooklyn is about to change his life. Sure, their parents are married, but that doesn't mean that Kyran has to like Avi or much less treat him like his "brother." No, Kyran insults, argues and fights with Avi every chance he gets. The enemies-to-lovers trope is strong with this couple. Avi is more open to the idea of a new family and a "brother," but he sure is not dying to be in the space of someone who doesn't accept him at first.
Fast forward two years, and our boys are in college. Money is tight, and that is when the OnlyFans shenanigans start, with an awkward threesome where there is more chemistry between the stepbrothers. Avi's best friend, Frankie, the girl in the threesome, knows there is sexual tension between the supposed enemies/stepbrothers. She is a "fan" of theirs from the beginning, and when your best friend is rooting, you know there may be some truth to it. But of course, there is heavy denial on both sides, and when Avi and Kyran start the OnlyFans videos, it's for the fans. Or so they think. There are moments when they are lost in each other, and there are no cameras to catch them in the act. Is it truly just for the fans?
You would think that when you first read about these two and when our quarterback, Kyran keeps his relationship with Avi, the mascot, a secret. However, the desire and longing can only be suppressed for so long. Kyran thinks he has much to lose as a quarterback if he were to come clean about what he has been up to at the body shop in secret with Avi, doing unholy sexy things😉. You, as a reader, think he is, at times, an asshole, but Kyran, who wins you as a reader, is so much more. He has a secret and a past that makes you hurt for him; it explains why he is the way he is and why he is so hesitant to go public with Avi. Avi, however, is the opposite. He is patient, kind, and understanding. Sure, it hurts him when Kyran only wants him in private, but he never pressures Kyran. Avi, our goofy mascot, understands his quarterback like no other. He is there for Kyran when everyone else has abandoned him. I think that Nyla wrote both characters well, mainly Avi, as the patient man he is. This is where the book took me by surprise; I did not expect there to be this much angst, especially with Kyran, his past, and his relationship with his father. It makes the 700+ pages worth reading.
I could say much more about Avi and Kyran, but that is where I will end this review. This was my first read by Nyla K., and it will not be the last. I look forward to hopefully reading more about these characters in her upcoming books. Kyran and Avi have definitely gained me as a fan😉
***4.5 rating***
I absolutely adore Avi and Kyran. One of my favorite MM romance reads this year❤❤
___________________________
***4.0 rating***
"The chemistry of hate was never strong enough to overpower the hunger of want."
Sometimes, the quarterback doesn't end up with a cheerleader; sometimes, he ends up with the goofy mascot, who cheers for him from the sidelines.
This book truly took me by a surprise. I thought it would be mostly smut, but color me surprised when I turned out to be wrong, and I am so glad that I was.
There are a lot of sex scenes, don't get me wrong, but I enjoyed it. It went with what the author was trying to achieve. The concept was also original. Two stepbrothers who are unexpectedly exploring their sexuality by making an OnlyFans account to afford college and its expenses. I liked the idea from the get-go and wanted to read more; obviously, the 732 pages were a bit of a turnoff, but I devoured this book in less than two days. Kyran and Avi together were hot, sweet, cheesy, vulnerable, and unexpected.
Avi comes into Kyran's life when they are both still in high school, and it's hate at first sight. Kyran is not delighted to share his life with a "weirdo" from New York, but little does he know that the sweet emo boy from Brooklyn is about to change his life. Sure, their parents are married, but that doesn't mean that Kyran has to like Avi or much less treat him like his "brother." No, Kyran insults, argues and fights with Avi every chance he gets. The enemies-to-lovers trope is strong with this couple. Avi is more open to the idea of a new family and a "brother," but he sure is not dying to be in the space of someone who doesn't accept him at first.
Fast forward two years, and our boys are in college. Money is tight, and that is when the OnlyFans shenanigans start, with an awkward threesome where there is more chemistry between the stepbrothers. Avi's best friend, Frankie, the girl in the threesome, knows there is sexual tension between the supposed enemies/stepbrothers. She is a "fan" of theirs from the beginning, and when your best friend is rooting, you know there may be some truth to it. But of course, there is heavy denial on both sides, and when Avi and Kyran start the OnlyFans videos, it's for the fans. Or so they think. There are moments when they are lost in each other, and there are no cameras to catch them in the act. Is it truly just for the fans?
You would think that when you first read about these two and when our quarterback, Kyran keeps his relationship with Avi, the mascot, a secret. However, the desire and longing can only be suppressed for so long. Kyran thinks he has much to lose as a quarterback if he were to come clean about what he has been up to at the body shop in secret with Avi, doing unholy sexy things😉. You, as a reader, think he is, at times, an asshole, but Kyran, who wins you as a reader, is so much more. He has a secret and a past that makes you hurt for him; it explains why he is the way he is and why he is so hesitant to go public with Avi. Avi, however, is the opposite. He is patient, kind, and understanding. Sure, it hurts him when Kyran only wants him in private, but he never pressures Kyran. Avi, our goofy mascot, understands his quarterback like no other. He is there for Kyran when everyone else has abandoned him. I think that Nyla wrote both characters well, mainly Avi, as the patient man he is. This is where the book took me by surprise; I did not expect there to be this much angst, especially with Kyran, his past, and his relationship with his father. It makes the 700+ pages worth reading.
I could say much more about Avi and Kyran, but that is where I will end this review. This was my first read by Nyla K., and it will not be the last. I look forward to hopefully reading more about these characters in her upcoming books. Kyran and Avi have definitely gained me as a fan😉
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 11, 2023
*3.5*
“I’m not fucking gay. I have no desire to hook up with dudes, especially not my dumbass stepbrother.”
There is your premise.
“Forgive me for needing to build myself up to this… I’m not as interested in bisexual experimentation as you are, apparently.”
In case you didn’t know, he’s not gay or bi.
I don’t like lying to my mom, but what other choice do I have? I can’t very well tell her that I’m slowly turning into a gay pornstar, and that my tuition money is coming from videos of me sucking orgasms out of her husband’s son.
And that’s a wrap! LOL!
Huge spoilers in the review below.
Seriously. Don’t read any further if you want to go in blind.
Other than a few awkward encounters, the majority of the sex scenes in this book are written very well. They are hot hot smokin HOT, dirty talking on point!! The language and the innocent exploration is some of the best I’ve read.
I wish this story had begun at the 50% mark. There is no reason for this book to be over 700 pages long. I understand the longer the book, the more money the author will make, but they was so much filler at the beginning of the story. It was unnecessary.
The entire reason for the OnlyFans page really makes no sense. A star quarterback for a college, will absolutely be taken care of to keep him around, he is making the college money! Also, most mascots make a little bit of money cheering for a college. It might not be a lot, but there will be some cash flow.
What I really don’t understand is the idea that they both thought this was going to stay anonymous. They were talking to one another in the videos, using their actual names, clearly in a dorm room! Even if you blur out a face, it is so easy to track who is posting these videos online. The Internet is forever after all. I’m always baffled by people that think deleting something they’ve posted it means it is gone. I give you a week working for a large company in their HR department and just see how much you are able to dig up on potential candidates. It’s staggering, and often highly embarrassing.
I’m getting off topic…
I understand this is just fiction, but how sad that every single one of their firsts was filmed, and put online for their “fans.” I don’t know if the author was being tongue-in-cheek, or if she really felt that these men were proud to share their intimate moments with strangers, paying to watch them have sex. I sure hope grandma or some creepy ass neighbor isn’t a subscriber!
The fans watched the real stuff happen… the looks and the touches and the parts between the sex. They saw something more.
There are zero discussions about safe sex. None. Which I find ludicrous because they were both sexually active with other women (who were highly active with om/ow). That brings me to the next issue. That ménage scene was so uncomfortably awkward and gross to read. It was clear that the one guy had no idea what he was doing with a woman, and the other one wasn’t even interested in her. She was simply a prop.
There are too many pop and cultural references in the story. This will date a book so quickly. I mean, does anyone under 30 even know what an Edgar suit is?
Overall thoughts: Way too long, the GFY aspect is tired and overused in “gay romance,” the OnlyFans plot was shaky, miscommunication trope yawn, and the sex scenes were ridiculously filthy HOT and intimate. I loved their love so much and wished the story began at college.
Ends with a hfn.
TW: There is brief description of child sexual abuse, but almost worse is the parents reaction. This fucking broke my heart.
There is your premise.
“Forgive me for needing to build myself up to this… I’m not as interested in bisexual experimentation as you are, apparently.”
In case you didn’t know, he’s not gay or bi.
I don’t like lying to my mom, but what other choice do I have? I can’t very well tell her that I’m slowly turning into a gay pornstar, and that my tuition money is coming from videos of me sucking orgasms out of her husband’s son.
And that’s a wrap! LOL!
Huge spoilers in the review below.
Seriously. Don’t read any further if you want to go in blind.
Other than a few awkward encounters, the majority of the sex scenes in this book are written very well. They are hot hot smokin HOT, dirty talking on point!! The language and the innocent exploration is some of the best I’ve read.
I wish this story had begun at the 50% mark. There is no reason for this book to be over 700 pages long. I understand the longer the book, the more money the author will make, but they was so much filler at the beginning of the story. It was unnecessary.
The entire reason for the OnlyFans page really makes no sense. A star quarterback for a college, will absolutely be taken care of to keep him around, he is making the college money! Also, most mascots make a little bit of money cheering for a college. It might not be a lot, but there will be some cash flow.
What I really don’t understand is the idea that they both thought this was going to stay anonymous. They were talking to one another in the videos, using their actual names, clearly in a dorm room! Even if you blur out a face, it is so easy to track who is posting these videos online. The Internet is forever after all. I’m always baffled by people that think deleting something they’ve posted it means it is gone. I give you a week working for a large company in their HR department and just see how much you are able to dig up on potential candidates. It’s staggering, and often highly embarrassing.
I’m getting off topic…
I understand this is just fiction, but how sad that every single one of their firsts was filmed, and put online for their “fans.” I don’t know if the author was being tongue-in-cheek, or if she really felt that these men were proud to share their intimate moments with strangers, paying to watch them have sex. I sure hope grandma or some creepy ass neighbor isn’t a subscriber!
The fans watched the real stuff happen… the looks and the touches and the parts between the sex. They saw something more.
There are zero discussions about safe sex. None. Which I find ludicrous because they were both sexually active with other women (who were highly active with om/ow). That brings me to the next issue. That ménage scene was so uncomfortably awkward and gross to read. It was clear that the one guy had no idea what he was doing with a woman, and the other one wasn’t even interested in her. She was simply a prop.
There are too many pop and cultural references in the story. This will date a book so quickly. I mean, does anyone under 30 even know what an Edgar suit is?
Overall thoughts: Way too long, the GFY aspect is tired and overused in “gay romance,” the OnlyFans plot was shaky, miscommunication trope yawn, and the sex scenes were ridiculously filthy HOT and intimate. I loved their love so much and wished the story began at college.
Ends with a hfn.
TW: There is brief description of child sexual abuse, but almost worse is the parents reaction. This fucking broke my heart.
August 8, 2024
"We don't have a choice. We have to sell it. For the fans."
Aviel Vega hates his new stepbrother.
But that's mostly because his new stepbrother hates him and he doesn't know why.
Perfect, football QB, popular kid Kyran Harbor. Total douche.
Doesn't matter. He wants to keep his space, then they'll keep away from each other.
That is until Avi needs help from Kyran.
And the grouchy person he can't escape might be the only one who can help him.
"My fucking stepbrother… with whom I now share a very confusing, very complicated little secret."
Kyran Harbor is the picture perfect QB.
That is what he portrays anyway.
But the one thing that pisses him off the most? His new stepbrother.
He thinks Avi doesn't care about anything, he's so laid back… so free…
It pisses him off.
But he doesn't need to worry about him right? As long he stays away from him they should be fine right?
But what happens when his QB position is on the line?
And the only person who can help him is his annoying stepbrother he just can't escape?
"There's some force holding us together, and I don't think I'm strong enough to fight it. Maybe neither is he…"
Aviel Vega and Kyran Harbor hate each other. But when a problem arises for both of them, they have no one to turn to but each other. And hate and love run a very fine line.
"Avi is never worried, or concerned… He doesn't care.. At least, that's what I'd thought."
This book is amazing. Even reading it a second time and I am OBSESSED.
The pure emotion in this book is addiction. Nyla K. is amazing at making me do 2 things: laugh my ass off at quips and jokes and completely and utterly shatter my heart and put it back together. And this book is the perfect example for that. And I thank her for the emotional rollercoaster I went through reading this book (again).
"I want to be able to read people… to know what their intentions are. I like my humans transparent. And Avi is a murky mass of opaque complexities."
Let's start with Avi. First off Avi is a vibe. He is chill, he is an artist, and he is sassy and hilarious and I was here for it. I mean the whole mascot thing basically just to piss off Ky legit something I would consider doing no joke. Him being his mom's best friend was ADORABLE. Their relationship was everything and his mom is a badass, I will take no objections. I very much identified with Avi, you know, making jokes at appropriate or inappropriate moments doesn't matter, if we see a chance WE WILL MAKE A JOKE!!
"Well, Kyran, judging by all the people, booze, and music, I'm gonna say… I'm here to do everyone's taxes."
☝️☝ - legit a joke I would make
There were also moments where he felt like he didn't know who he was and if that is not the most identifiable thing ever then I don't know what is. The questioning yourself, the doubt. It hurts and it's painful and I was crying watching him go through this. Another heartbreaking moment brought to you by Nyla K.
"You have… no… clue… who you really are."
Anyway, back to the "original programming", him wanting to piss off Ky at any moment was actually hilarious and goal-worthy. Anyway I love Avi he is what I want my stoned spirit animal to be thank you very much. And the David Rose wine label reference was everything!!!
"I'm gonna call you whatever the fuck I want, superstar. Get used to it."
And they we have Kyran Harbor. Pent up, popular QB Kyran Harbor. I will tell you the absolute truth, at the very beginning of the book Ky kind of annoyed me a little bit but I think that was the point, because I swear a couple of chapters in and my heart started to crack.
"Everything needs to look perfect from the outside… no matter how decayed and rotten it is beneath the surface."
"Inside, I am a child again, desperately trying not to disappoint him, while simultaneously doing just that, with things that are completely out of my control."
The way he talked about himself, the mirror thing, the dad thing, I broke with each and every chapter and I just wanted to give him the biggest hug or shake him and tell him to snap out of it. And the way that he could never understand why Avi bothered him so much… Also the journey he went through with himself and with Avi is something legitimately I aspire to. Not the football thing but the other thing definitely. And the Cobra Ky reference I was here for it all the way!!
"Because that's the thing about distraction… if the truth is powerful enough, it'll always manage to shove a hand up through the dirt."
Ok. The playlist that I made is in no way shape or form supposed to be a substitute for the author's playlist. Because the author's playlist for this is EVERYTHING AND MORE. This playlist just came to me. Literally these were the vibes I felt. OK? Ok… Anyway it's long as fuck so I warned you:
(Link: https://spotify.link/8uuJhHUWbEb)
🎧 "One More I Love You" - Alex Warren
🎧 "Tourniquet" - Evanescence
🎧 "Family Portrait" - P!nk
🎧 "Bring Me To Life" - Evanescence
🎧 "High Enough" - K.Flay
🎧 "Antisocialist" - Asking Alexandria
🎧 "play pretend" - margo
🎧 "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana
🎧 "Arcade" - Duncan Lawrence
🎧 "Why Am I Like This?" - Orla Gartland
🎧 "Middle Finger" - Bohnes
🎧 "parents" - YUNGBLUD
🎧 "Family Line" - Conan Gray
🎧 "Teenage Dirtbag" - Wheatus
🎧 "Daddy Issues" - The Neighbourhood
🎧 "funhouse" - P!nk
🎧 "Don't Ever Stop Running" - Maggie Jean Martin
🎧 "Hollaback Girl" - Gwen Stefani
🎧 "Prom Queen" - Molly Kate Kestner
🎧 "greedy" - Tate McRae
🎧 "sloppy" - KiNG MALA, UPSAHL
🎧 "Hot Mess" - Zoe Clark
🎧 "idontwannabeyouanymore" - Billie Eilish
🎧 "Scatterbrain" - Emei
🎧 "DANCING ALL ALONE" - Clinton Kane
🎧 "Pls Cheat On Me" - Precious Pepala
🎧 "Pacify Her" - Melanie Martinez
🎧 "Dial Drunk" - Noah Kahan, Post Malone
🎧 "Gives You Hell" - The All-American Rejects
🎧 "Orange Juice" - Noah Kahan
🎧 "Good Enough" - Little Mix
🎧 "Little Me - Unplugged" - Little Mix
🎧 "Problems" - Jake Daniels
🎧 "Fire On Fire" - Sam Smith
🎧 "Who We Love" - Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran
🎧 "Secret Love Song" - Little Mix, Jason Derulo
🎧 "Money, Money, Money" - ABBA
🎧 "mad at god" - Sarah Saint James
🎧 "God Is A Freak" - Peach PRC
🎧 "BREATHING UNDERWATER" - Hot Milk
🎧 "Dazed & Confused" - Ruel
🎧 "You Don't Know Me" - Liz Gilles
🎧 "Sorry About Your Parents" - Icon For Hire
🎧 "CHRONICALLY CAUTIOUS" - Braden Bales
🎧 "stacy's brother" - Mad Tsai
🎧 "When You Say My Name" - Chandler Leighton
🎧 "Dirty Little Secret" - The All-American Rejects
🎧 "Hated" - YUNGBLUD
🎧 "Control" - Halsey
🎧 "Product Of My Own Design" - Artio
🎧 "I Feel Like I'm Drowning" - Two Feet
🎧 "jealousy, jealousy" - Olivia Rodrigo
🎧 "Back To You" - Selena Gomez
🎧 "I'm Tired" - Labrinth, Zendaya
🎧 "dying on the inside" - Nessa Barrett
🎧 "Applause" - Lady Gaga
🎧 "1 step forward, 3 steps back" - Olivia Rodrigo
🎧 "the apology I'll never receive" - RORY
🎧 "The Reason" - Hoobastank
🎧 "I Think I'm In Love" - Kat Dahlia
🎧 "We Will Rock You" - Queen
🎧 "Monsters In My Mind" - Cloud June
🎧 "BOO HOO" - Neoni, RIELL
🎧 "Bad Liar" - Imagine Dragons
🎧 "Bad Idea" - Dove Cameron
🎧 "Unholy" - Sam Smith, Kim Petras
🎧 "THAT'S WHAT I WANT" - Lil Nas X
🎧 "Man I Am" - Sam Smith
🎧 "Blame" - BB Cooper
🎧 "Bite My Tongue" - You Me At Six, Oli Skyes
🎧 "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High" - Arctic Monkeys
🎧 "Cake" - Melanie Martinez
🎧 "idfc" - blackbear
🎧 "Tell Me You Love Me (Rock Version)" - Demi Lovato
🎧 "Heartbeat" - Childish Gambino
🎧 "eyes don't lie sped up" - Isabel LaRosa
🎧 "I'm yours sped up" - Isabel LaRosa
🎧 "MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT" - Loveless
🎧 "As Long As You Love Me" - Justin Bieber
🎧 "You Found Me" - The Fray
🎧 "Need You Now" - Lady A
🎧 "Have Mercy" - Chloe
🎧 "Die For You" - Rain Paris
🎧 "All I Need" - Within Temptation
🎧 "R U Mine?" - Arctic Monkeys
🎧 "While You're At It" - Jessie Murph
🎧 "As The World Caves In" - Sarah Cothran
🎧 "STAY" - True North, Loveless
🎧 "Can I Be Him?" - James Arthur
🎧 "Drinking With Cupid" - VOILA
🎧 "EXTRA EXTRA" - Chandler Leighton
🎧 "I wish you cheated" - Alexander Stewart
🎧 "birthday cake" - Dylan Conrique
🎧 "Maps" - Maroon 5
🎧 "All I Do Is Win" - DJ Khaled
🎧 "Angry" - Paravi
🎧 "The Exit" - Conan Gray
🎧 "Angels Like You" - Miley Cyrus
🎧 "Thief" - Ansel Elgort
🎧 "Hrs & Hrs" - Muni Long
🎧 "I Want To Hold Your Hand" - The Beatles
🎧 "Shatter" - Maggie Rogers
🎧 "I Like Boys" - Todrick Hall
And as always, Nyla K. can write dirty talk… trust me…
"You gonna come for me?"
"I know your secret. You wanna be bent over and fucked by the mascot."
"Open wide for me, baby."
"Then be a good boy and take your cock out for me."
📷 Tropes 📷
🏈 Enemies-to-Lovers
🏈 Hate to Love
🏈 Stepbrothers
🏈 Sports Romance - Football
🏈 Forbidden Romance
🏈 Secret Romance
🏈 Grumpy x Sunshine
🏈 Self-Discovery
"Plus… it's for the fans. The OnlyFans, I mean."
Aviel Vega hates his new stepbrother.
But that's mostly because his new stepbrother hates him and he doesn't know why.
Perfect, football QB, popular kid Kyran Harbor. Total douche.
Doesn't matter. He wants to keep his space, then they'll keep away from each other.
That is until Avi needs help from Kyran.
And the grouchy person he can't escape might be the only one who can help him.
"My fucking stepbrother… with whom I now share a very confusing, very complicated little secret."
Kyran Harbor is the picture perfect QB.
That is what he portrays anyway.
But the one thing that pisses him off the most? His new stepbrother.
He thinks Avi doesn't care about anything, he's so laid back… so free…
It pisses him off.
But he doesn't need to worry about him right? As long he stays away from him they should be fine right?
But what happens when his QB position is on the line?
And the only person who can help him is his annoying stepbrother he just can't escape?
"There's some force holding us together, and I don't think I'm strong enough to fight it. Maybe neither is he…"
Aviel Vega and Kyran Harbor hate each other. But when a problem arises for both of them, they have no one to turn to but each other. And hate and love run a very fine line.
"Avi is never worried, or concerned… He doesn't care.. At least, that's what I'd thought."
This book is amazing. Even reading it a second time and I am OBSESSED.
The pure emotion in this book is addiction. Nyla K. is amazing at making me do 2 things: laugh my ass off at quips and jokes and completely and utterly shatter my heart and put it back together. And this book is the perfect example for that. And I thank her for the emotional rollercoaster I went through reading this book (again).
"I want to be able to read people… to know what their intentions are. I like my humans transparent. And Avi is a murky mass of opaque complexities."
Let's start with Avi. First off Avi is a vibe. He is chill, he is an artist, and he is sassy and hilarious and I was here for it. I mean the whole mascot thing basically just to piss off Ky legit something I would consider doing no joke. Him being his mom's best friend was ADORABLE. Their relationship was everything and his mom is a badass, I will take no objections. I very much identified with Avi, you know, making jokes at appropriate or inappropriate moments doesn't matter, if we see a chance WE WILL MAKE A JOKE!!
"Well, Kyran, judging by all the people, booze, and music, I'm gonna say… I'm here to do everyone's taxes."
☝️☝ - legit a joke I would make
There were also moments where he felt like he didn't know who he was and if that is not the most identifiable thing ever then I don't know what is. The questioning yourself, the doubt. It hurts and it's painful and I was crying watching him go through this. Another heartbreaking moment brought to you by Nyla K.
"You have… no… clue… who you really are."
Anyway, back to the "original programming", him wanting to piss off Ky at any moment was actually hilarious and goal-worthy. Anyway I love Avi he is what I want my stoned spirit animal to be thank you very much. And the David Rose wine label reference was everything!!!
"I'm gonna call you whatever the fuck I want, superstar. Get used to it."
And they we have Kyran Harbor. Pent up, popular QB Kyran Harbor. I will tell you the absolute truth, at the very beginning of the book Ky kind of annoyed me a little bit but I think that was the point, because I swear a couple of chapters in and my heart started to crack.
"Everything needs to look perfect from the outside… no matter how decayed and rotten it is beneath the surface."
"Inside, I am a child again, desperately trying not to disappoint him, while simultaneously doing just that, with things that are completely out of my control."
The way he talked about himself, the mirror thing, the dad thing, I broke with each and every chapter and I just wanted to give him the biggest hug or shake him and tell him to snap out of it. And the way that he could never understand why Avi bothered him so much… Also the journey he went through with himself and with Avi is something legitimately I aspire to. Not the football thing but the other thing definitely. And the Cobra Ky reference I was here for it all the way!!
"Because that's the thing about distraction… if the truth is powerful enough, it'll always manage to shove a hand up through the dirt."
Ok. The playlist that I made is in no way shape or form supposed to be a substitute for the author's playlist. Because the author's playlist for this is EVERYTHING AND MORE. This playlist just came to me. Literally these were the vibes I felt. OK? Ok… Anyway it's long as fuck so I warned you:
(Link: https://spotify.link/8uuJhHUWbEb)
🎧 "One More I Love You" - Alex Warren
🎧 "Tourniquet" - Evanescence
🎧 "Family Portrait" - P!nk
🎧 "Bring Me To Life" - Evanescence
🎧 "High Enough" - K.Flay
🎧 "Antisocialist" - Asking Alexandria
🎧 "play pretend" - margo
🎧 "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana
🎧 "Arcade" - Duncan Lawrence
🎧 "Why Am I Like This?" - Orla Gartland
🎧 "Middle Finger" - Bohnes
🎧 "parents" - YUNGBLUD
🎧 "Family Line" - Conan Gray
🎧 "Teenage Dirtbag" - Wheatus
🎧 "Daddy Issues" - The Neighbourhood
🎧 "funhouse" - P!nk
🎧 "Don't Ever Stop Running" - Maggie Jean Martin
🎧 "Hollaback Girl" - Gwen Stefani
🎧 "Prom Queen" - Molly Kate Kestner
🎧 "greedy" - Tate McRae
🎧 "sloppy" - KiNG MALA, UPSAHL
🎧 "Hot Mess" - Zoe Clark
🎧 "idontwannabeyouanymore" - Billie Eilish
🎧 "Scatterbrain" - Emei
🎧 "DANCING ALL ALONE" - Clinton Kane
🎧 "Pls Cheat On Me" - Precious Pepala
🎧 "Pacify Her" - Melanie Martinez
🎧 "Dial Drunk" - Noah Kahan, Post Malone
🎧 "Gives You Hell" - The All-American Rejects
🎧 "Orange Juice" - Noah Kahan
🎧 "Good Enough" - Little Mix
🎧 "Little Me - Unplugged" - Little Mix
🎧 "Problems" - Jake Daniels
🎧 "Fire On Fire" - Sam Smith
🎧 "Who We Love" - Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran
🎧 "Secret Love Song" - Little Mix, Jason Derulo
🎧 "Money, Money, Money" - ABBA
🎧 "mad at god" - Sarah Saint James
🎧 "God Is A Freak" - Peach PRC
🎧 "BREATHING UNDERWATER" - Hot Milk
🎧 "Dazed & Confused" - Ruel
🎧 "You Don't Know Me" - Liz Gilles
🎧 "Sorry About Your Parents" - Icon For Hire
🎧 "CHRONICALLY CAUTIOUS" - Braden Bales
🎧 "stacy's brother" - Mad Tsai
🎧 "When You Say My Name" - Chandler Leighton
🎧 "Dirty Little Secret" - The All-American Rejects
🎧 "Hated" - YUNGBLUD
🎧 "Control" - Halsey
🎧 "Product Of My Own Design" - Artio
🎧 "I Feel Like I'm Drowning" - Two Feet
🎧 "jealousy, jealousy" - Olivia Rodrigo
🎧 "Back To You" - Selena Gomez
🎧 "I'm Tired" - Labrinth, Zendaya
🎧 "dying on the inside" - Nessa Barrett
🎧 "Applause" - Lady Gaga
🎧 "1 step forward, 3 steps back" - Olivia Rodrigo
🎧 "the apology I'll never receive" - RORY
🎧 "The Reason" - Hoobastank
🎧 "I Think I'm In Love" - Kat Dahlia
🎧 "We Will Rock You" - Queen
🎧 "Monsters In My Mind" - Cloud June
🎧 "BOO HOO" - Neoni, RIELL
🎧 "Bad Liar" - Imagine Dragons
🎧 "Bad Idea" - Dove Cameron
🎧 "Unholy" - Sam Smith, Kim Petras
🎧 "THAT'S WHAT I WANT" - Lil Nas X
🎧 "Man I Am" - Sam Smith
🎧 "Blame" - BB Cooper
🎧 "Bite My Tongue" - You Me At Six, Oli Skyes
🎧 "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High" - Arctic Monkeys
🎧 "Cake" - Melanie Martinez
🎧 "idfc" - blackbear
🎧 "Tell Me You Love Me (Rock Version)" - Demi Lovato
🎧 "Heartbeat" - Childish Gambino
🎧 "eyes don't lie sped up" - Isabel LaRosa
🎧 "I'm yours sped up" - Isabel LaRosa
🎧 "MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT" - Loveless
🎧 "As Long As You Love Me" - Justin Bieber
🎧 "You Found Me" - The Fray
🎧 "Need You Now" - Lady A
🎧 "Have Mercy" - Chloe
🎧 "Die For You" - Rain Paris
🎧 "All I Need" - Within Temptation
🎧 "R U Mine?" - Arctic Monkeys
🎧 "While You're At It" - Jessie Murph
🎧 "As The World Caves In" - Sarah Cothran
🎧 "STAY" - True North, Loveless
🎧 "Can I Be Him?" - James Arthur
🎧 "Drinking With Cupid" - VOILA
🎧 "EXTRA EXTRA" - Chandler Leighton
🎧 "I wish you cheated" - Alexander Stewart
🎧 "birthday cake" - Dylan Conrique
🎧 "Maps" - Maroon 5
🎧 "All I Do Is Win" - DJ Khaled
🎧 "Angry" - Paravi
🎧 "The Exit" - Conan Gray
🎧 "Angels Like You" - Miley Cyrus
🎧 "Thief" - Ansel Elgort
🎧 "Hrs & Hrs" - Muni Long
🎧 "I Want To Hold Your Hand" - The Beatles
🎧 "Shatter" - Maggie Rogers
🎧 "I Like Boys" - Todrick Hall
And as always, Nyla K. can write dirty talk… trust me…
"You gonna come for me?"
"I know your secret. You wanna be bent over and fucked by the mascot."
"Open wide for me, baby."
"Then be a good boy and take your cock out for me."
📷 Tropes 📷
🏈 Enemies-to-Lovers
🏈 Hate to Love
🏈 Stepbrothers
🏈 Sports Romance - Football
🏈 Forbidden Romance
🏈 Secret Romance
🏈 Grumpy x Sunshine
🏈 Self-Discovery
"Plus… it's for the fans. The OnlyFans, I mean."
December 4, 2023
Update after trying to reread it via audio: this book has been one of my favorites this year. I really REALLY loved it. And I love audiobooks. So I thought - why not reread it via audio? I didn’t know the narrators, but they didn’t sound too bad. Sadly, I have to report that the audio made me dnf. Avi’s voice is way too old and sounds sleazy at times, not the quirky playful guy I thought him to be when I read it. And while Ky’s voice was better (I seriously considered only listening to his pov chapters and skipping Avi’s), he sounded so soft and breathy that he tended to put me to sleep. And again, it didn’t match the character I had in mind while reading it. So with a sad heart, I’m calling it quits before it ruins my memory of the book ☹️
Original review:
Wow. This was… scorching hot, with unexpected depth. So good, even though I did have some tiny niggles.
As always, I’m writing my review directly after finishing a book, and I confess I’m still a bit overwhelmed.
It’s the story at Avi, an artsy, go-with-the-flow, weed smoking “emo kid” who recently moved to Boston with his mother. His mother Hannah falls in love there, and marries Tom, who has a son who’s as old as Avi, and who hates him right from the start.
Kyran is everything Avi is not: popular, with good grades, and a stellar football player who likes to be in control. There’s only one person he can’t deal with: Avi. For every jibe and hateful comment Kyran directs at Avi, he earns a smile, and when Avi decides to go to the same college Kyran goes to, Kyran decides to try and ignore his very existence as much as he can.
Shortly after that, Kyran’s father loses all his money, and both Avi and Kyran need to find a way to pay for their housing and tuition, otherwise they have to leave college.
And that’s when one of Avi’s friends comes up with the OnlyFans idea. Avi starts alone, but is soon joined by a very reluctant Kyran. For the money ofc. And for the fans . Because both are straight, and definitely NOT into each other.
Suffice to say: what starts out of necessity, soon becomes one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking love stories I’ve read in a while. There’s so much love, and hurt, and past issues bubbling up, that you can’t help but feel completely drawn in. You hurt for them, and you root for their HEA, because they’re perfect for each other.
And the sex scenes… wow. I felt like I needed to take a cold shower after most of them.
So. Hot. And. Filthy.
And I was all here for it.
I’m still thinking about it while writing this review, because both became so alive in my head, it’s like I know them for real.
My two minor niggles: again, the safe-sex thing. It’s not THAT difficult to add a line that they’re both tested, or on prep, before they go bare. Especially seeing as they both weren’t exactly living like hermits before they started hooking up.
The second niggle: I feel like there’s an unresolved plot strand - or did you figure out who ratted them out? Somehow I think it wasn’t Ash. And I felt like there’s something fishy about Theo?
But these are details, it’s still one of the best books I’ve read this year, and one that I can see myself reading again in the future -4.5 stars rounded up to 5 🔥
Original review:
Wow. This was… scorching hot, with unexpected depth. So good, even though I did have some tiny niggles.
As always, I’m writing my review directly after finishing a book, and I confess I’m still a bit overwhelmed.
It’s the story at Avi, an artsy, go-with-the-flow, weed smoking “emo kid” who recently moved to Boston with his mother. His mother Hannah falls in love there, and marries Tom, who has a son who’s as old as Avi, and who hates him right from the start.
Kyran is everything Avi is not: popular, with good grades, and a stellar football player who likes to be in control. There’s only one person he can’t deal with: Avi. For every jibe and hateful comment Kyran directs at Avi, he earns a smile, and when Avi decides to go to the same college Kyran goes to, Kyran decides to try and ignore his very existence as much as he can.
Shortly after that, Kyran’s father loses all his money, and both Avi and Kyran need to find a way to pay for their housing and tuition, otherwise they have to leave college.
And that’s when one of Avi’s friends comes up with the OnlyFans idea. Avi starts alone, but is soon joined by a very reluctant Kyran. For the money ofc. And for the fans . Because both are straight, and definitely NOT into each other.
Suffice to say: what starts out of necessity, soon becomes one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking love stories I’ve read in a while. There’s so much love, and hurt, and past issues bubbling up, that you can’t help but feel completely drawn in. You hurt for them, and you root for their HEA, because they’re perfect for each other.
And the sex scenes… wow. I felt like I needed to take a cold shower after most of them.
So. Hot. And. Filthy.
And I was all here for it.
I’m still thinking about it while writing this review, because both became so alive in my head, it’s like I know them for real.
My two minor niggles: again, the safe-sex thing. It’s not THAT difficult to add a line that they’re both tested, or on prep, before they go bare. Especially seeing as they both weren’t exactly living like hermits before they started hooking up.
The second niggle: I feel like there’s an unresolved plot strand - or did you figure out who ratted them out? Somehow I think it wasn’t Ash. And I felt like there’s something fishy about Theo?
But these are details, it’s still one of the best books I’ve read this year, and one that I can see myself reading again in the future -4.5 stars rounded up to 5 🔥
June 26, 2024
EDIT for visual rating for you:
⭐5/5 *best romance i have ever read still half a year and a 100 books later* stars
🌶️♾️/5 *spiciest thing i have ever read ever* peppers
😻5/5 *all the swoon, they are the cutest* heart eyes
🎧 5/5 *Corvin King moaning "Aaahhhveeee"* headphones
You know that feeling when other people seem to know something, like a general truth and you never really understood it so you feel on the outside looking in? That's me before this book, aka me 2 days ago. Now... This book altered my brain chemistry. Completely changed me. What a trip.
Nyla K. is the QUEEN of spice, you know if you pick up a book of hers it's going to be *melt you into a puddle and give you serious heart palpitations* hot. 🥵
This is the story of Avi and Ky, and it doesn't need any explanation. It's the spiciest contemporary enemies to lovers, and it's perfect, and here's why:
- gorgeous artsy emo guy
- jocky blonde QB guy
- so. Much. C*m. Everywhere
- filthy, filthy dirty talk
- again, so. Much. C*m.
- stepbrothers (in the beginning)
- some internalized homophobia
- raw love story
I don't think this needs any more words. This is one of the best romance novels I've ever read. Highly, highly recommend.
⭐5/5 *best romance i have ever read still half a year and a 100 books later* stars
🌶️♾️/5 *spiciest thing i have ever read ever* peppers
😻5/5 *all the swoon, they are the cutest* heart eyes
🎧 5/5 *Corvin King moaning "Aaahhhveeee"* headphones
You know that feeling when other people seem to know something, like a general truth and you never really understood it so you feel on the outside looking in? That's me before this book, aka me 2 days ago. Now... This book altered my brain chemistry. Completely changed me. What a trip.
Nyla K. is the QUEEN of spice, you know if you pick up a book of hers it's going to be *melt you into a puddle and give you serious heart palpitations* hot. 🥵
This is the story of Avi and Ky, and it doesn't need any explanation. It's the spiciest contemporary enemies to lovers, and it's perfect, and here's why:
- gorgeous artsy emo guy
- jocky blonde QB guy
- so. Much. C*m. Everywhere
- filthy, filthy dirty talk
- again, so. Much. C*m.
- stepbrothers (in the beginning)
- some internalized homophobia
- raw love story
I don't think this needs any more words. This is one of the best romance novels I've ever read. Highly, highly recommend.
March 22, 2024
Whew! I have a lot of thoughts about this *scorching* hot audiobook.
I hadn't listened to this these narrators before, but they really did a fantastic job. They talked through some GRAPHIC content, and I was here for it. This falls into the "one-handed read" category, for sure.
I couldn't stop listening. I listened for probably 6 hours a day until I finished this baby, which is a LOT. Huge props to the author for making a sexuality discovery story to remember.
But the book... it also has flaws.
*NERD ALERT, AHEAD*
First of all, my husband and I both went to the two schools that Avi got into, and let me tell you- Tufts and BC are NOT for mediocre, slacker students. The fact that Avi got into them while failing his classes is laughable. Also, Somerville, where these guys lived, is not the suburban, preppy haven in the book. It used to be crap, but now it's sort of all upscale urban condos. These are issues I had with the location and college aspects, and I kept talking to myself, arguing with the inaccuracies. But that will just probably bother only, like, two people.
But the rest of the plot also has loose ends. A few plot points just dangled and went nowhere, and you can't tell me that the book didn't devolve into fantasy-land at the end. Just wackadoodle stuff, and it didn't ring true. Also, the book is LONG, and I think 100 pages could have been cut out and everything tightened up a bit.
Despite the flaws, I can't help myself- I adored this one. The chemistry was just FIRE, and I really liked the enemies-to-lovers plot. I wish it was less all over the place and messy at times, but listening to this book was truly a joy. a sexy, sexy joy.
goodreads|instagram
I hadn't listened to this these narrators before, but they really did a fantastic job. They talked through some GRAPHIC content, and I was here for it. This falls into the "one-handed read" category, for sure.
I couldn't stop listening. I listened for probably 6 hours a day until I finished this baby, which is a LOT. Huge props to the author for making a sexuality discovery story to remember.
But the book... it also has flaws.
*NERD ALERT, AHEAD*
First of all, my husband and I both went to the two schools that Avi got into, and let me tell you- Tufts and BC are NOT for mediocre, slacker students. The fact that Avi got into them while failing his classes is laughable. Also, Somerville, where these guys lived, is not the suburban, preppy haven in the book. It used to be crap, but now it's sort of all upscale urban condos. These are issues I had with the location and college aspects, and I kept talking to myself, arguing with the inaccuracies. But that will just probably bother only, like, two people.
But the rest of the plot also has loose ends. A few plot points just dangled and went nowhere, and you can't tell me that the book didn't devolve into fantasy-land at the end. Just wackadoodle stuff, and it didn't ring true. Also, the book is LONG, and I think 100 pages could have been cut out and everything tightened up a bit.
Despite the flaws, I can't help myself- I adored this one. The chemistry was just FIRE, and I really liked the enemies-to-lovers plot. I wish it was less all over the place and messy at times, but listening to this book was truly a joy. a sexy, sexy joy.
goodreads|instagram
March 20, 2024
I could give much more than 5 stars to this gem. 💖
So hot and cute at same time. Nyla K, you did it so right —- I have an irrational love for Avi Vega folks!
One of the best M/M romances I've read hands down.
700 pages are NOT enough 🫣
I WANT MORE OF THIS NOW💅🏻💅🏻
So hot and cute at same time. Nyla K, you did it so right —- I have an irrational love for Avi Vega folks!
One of the best M/M romances I've read hands down.
700 pages are NOT enough 🫣
I WANT MORE OF THIS NOW💅🏻💅🏻
April 17, 2023
Read trigger warnings. It could be triggering to some.
Welp, this is awkward after seeing those positive-raging reviews. That was also the reason why I started this book. Idk if I should love this or hate this. This was so……basic? A lot part of this book didn’t make me feel anything. It was hot, but also bland. When it’s sexy times, it’s so fucking hot. And when it’s not, nothing else really happens.
I’m not the kind of guy that’s into the whole concept of gay-for-pay so you can predict my opinion on the whole motive of this book. I think queer identities are taken lightly bcs of this.
Not a lot seems to talk about the MFM and MF scenes in this book so let me. I find MFM/MF scene in gay books are disrespectful. Why would a gay man wants to read about pussies and tits. And yes, like me, bi/pan men exist. Some probably don’t mind, but it’s promoted as a gay book which is for the men loving men (MLM) audience. At the end of the day it was all about Kyran and Avi, both men, right? I’m not new to Nyla K, so I’m actually not surprised by this, so don’t come at me. I can’t help feeling disappointed.
That’s why I said this book didn’t make me feel anything. I tried reading those positive reviews, they just didn’t get to me.
Anyway, let’s talk about the length. 700+ pages, wow. I was so intimidated to even begin the story. It didn’t take a lot of push to get into the story, NK just know how to do it. However, this book had no business to be that long. I thought the length wouldn’t be a problem, but once I hit the 40% mark, it all went downhill. It started so good, but the plotline was so vanilla that it didn’t feel fun at all to finish a 700 long ass pages for such predictable plot. I felt like this story dragged by a lot. You can remove 20% of this book and the overall impact would remain unchanged. I started to slow down after 35% and by 60%, I felt like giving up. It did pick up after 70% but then I skimmed a little. With so many pages this book has, some lines do feel boring, repetitive and cringey. “Superstar”, “Baby”, “Angel”, “For the fans” Those didn’t feel exciting anymore. Hell, I find “baby” annoying now. The pages do nothing, but made the story feels overly done.
Sometimes longer books can be pretty exhausting to read.
I like hate sex. No, I looove it. Would kill for the next hate sex trope. But this one felt a bit off since I don’t really get the reasoning behind the hate. Avi keep asking Kyran on why and he never gave any answer so I waited for as long as I could for the answer. I just don’t get it. There was no sort of depth or any no solid reasons. Anyway, I never get the reason behind it until he just decide he never hated him at 70% pft.
Also, if you’re not a fan of excessive porn in romance, be aware that every page is sex. If you skim one, you get another right after. Like The Infinite Chocolate Paradox.
Overall, only a little part of this book made me giggle and smile. Beginning was interesting. Middle part was boring. Ending felt out of place, but liked it. This book was definitely too long to really enjoy it. And Kyran’s father deserve to die for what he didn’t do for his son. That was traumatising. “God loving” shit, fuck off you old hag. Ugh.
Anyway, glad that was over.
Welp, this is awkward after seeing those positive-raging reviews. That was also the reason why I started this book. Idk if I should love this or hate this. This was so……basic? A lot part of this book didn’t make me feel anything. It was hot, but also bland. When it’s sexy times, it’s so fucking hot. And when it’s not, nothing else really happens.
I’m not the kind of guy that’s into the whole concept of gay-for-pay so you can predict my opinion on the whole motive of this book. I think queer identities are taken lightly bcs of this.
Not a lot seems to talk about the MFM and MF scenes in this book so let me. I find MFM/MF scene in gay books are disrespectful. Why would a gay man wants to read about pussies and tits. And yes, like me, bi/pan men exist. Some probably don’t mind, but it’s promoted as a gay book which is for the men loving men (MLM) audience. At the end of the day it was all about Kyran and Avi, both men, right? I’m not new to Nyla K, so I’m actually not surprised by this, so don’t come at me. I can’t help feeling disappointed.
That’s why I said this book didn’t make me feel anything. I tried reading those positive reviews, they just didn’t get to me.
Anyway, let’s talk about the length. 700+ pages, wow. I was so intimidated to even begin the story. It didn’t take a lot of push to get into the story, NK just know how to do it. However, this book had no business to be that long. I thought the length wouldn’t be a problem, but once I hit the 40% mark, it all went downhill. It started so good, but the plotline was so vanilla that it didn’t feel fun at all to finish a 700 long ass pages for such predictable plot. I felt like this story dragged by a lot. You can remove 20% of this book and the overall impact would remain unchanged. I started to slow down after 35% and by 60%, I felt like giving up. It did pick up after 70% but then I skimmed a little. With so many pages this book has, some lines do feel boring, repetitive and cringey. “Superstar”, “Baby”, “Angel”, “For the fans” Those didn’t feel exciting anymore. Hell, I find “baby” annoying now. The pages do nothing, but made the story feels overly done.
Sometimes longer books can be pretty exhausting to read.
I like hate sex. No, I looove it. Would kill for the next hate sex trope. But this one felt a bit off since I don’t really get the reasoning behind the hate. Avi keep asking Kyran on why and he never gave any answer so I waited for as long as I could for the answer. I just don’t get it. There was no sort of depth or any no solid reasons. Anyway, I never get the reason behind it until he just decide he never hated him at 70% pft.
Also, if you’re not a fan of excessive porn in romance, be aware that every page is sex. If you skim one, you get another right after. Like The Infinite Chocolate Paradox.
Overall, only a little part of this book made me giggle and smile. Beginning was interesting. Middle part was boring. Ending felt out of place, but liked it. This book was definitely too long to really enjoy it. And Kyran’s father deserve to die for what he didn’t do for his son. That was traumatising. “God loving” shit, fuck off you old hag. Ugh.
Anyway, glad that was over.
January 22, 2025
4.25 ★'s 🥹
I feel so invested in Avi and Kyren's story. I might've complained it was too long, but looking back it was just right and I wouldn't change a thing.
They might've been a bit too disgustingly cute in their epilogues and there might've been smut scenes in almost every chapter, but something about them makes me believe in love. In hesitant kisses, to heated moments, to sweet words and loud laughs. This is it.
I am beyond obsessed with Avi. I need an Avi in my life, idc if it's as family, friend or soulmate but I need somebody to make it happen because he has already in this 700 page novel brought so much joy into my life. Kyran however brought me so much frustration, emotional damage and towards the end also pride. His story is not for the weak, but once we got to that part it made me feel for him so much more.
✧ "Every time I look at him, my stomach flips and my skin buzzes and no matter how hard I've tried to push it away and pretend like it's not there, it just seems to be getting fucking stronger, to the point where I feel like pieces of my anatomy are missing when I'm not with him..." ✧
Everyone who has been hyping this book up, they are right. Don't be like me and judge the book based on the cover, it's more than that.🩵
______________
°. *࿐pre-read:
I avoided this for the longest time as I thought the cover was so cringy(I know)... but bestie manas recommended it to me, and I would probably read anything she told me to, so now we're here(and I am a bit intimidated ngl hehe)🥹🩷
I feel so invested in Avi and Kyren's story. I might've complained it was too long, but looking back it was just right and I wouldn't change a thing.
They might've been a bit too disgustingly cute in their epilogues and there might've been smut scenes in almost every chapter, but something about them makes me believe in love. In hesitant kisses, to heated moments, to sweet words and loud laughs. This is it.
I am beyond obsessed with Avi. I need an Avi in my life, idc if it's as family, friend or soulmate but I need somebody to make it happen because he has already in this 700 page novel brought so much joy into my life. Kyran however brought me so much frustration, emotional damage and towards the end also pride. His story is not for the weak, but once we got to that part it made me feel for him so much more.
✧ "Every time I look at him, my stomach flips and my skin buzzes and no matter how hard I've tried to push it away and pretend like it's not there, it just seems to be getting fucking stronger, to the point where I feel like pieces of my anatomy are missing when I'm not with him..." ✧
Everyone who has been hyping this book up, they are right. Don't be like me and judge the book based on the cover, it's more than that.🩵
______________
°. *࿐pre-read:
I avoided this for the longest time as I thought the cover was so cringy(I know)... but bestie manas recommended it to me, and I would probably read anything she told me to, so now we're here(and I am a bit intimidated ngl hehe)🥹🩷
June 15, 2024
I wish I could read this for the first time a million times over
March 14, 2023
4.75 stars!
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Steam /5 ♨️ ♨️♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭🤭🤭
Before I get into talking about the actual book, I want to highlight a change in the author that stands out in this book. Prior to this, Nyla has not included content warnings in her books. She’s actually commented that she refused to do them, because they’re spoilers. And I know many readers with triggers who refuse to read her books as a consequence. In this book, at the beginning, Nyla writes that she has recognised that some readers need content warnings, and can be harmed when unexpectedly coming across a trigger, and has directed us to her website for a full list. I think this is an important change that needs to be acknowledged & congratulated.
I’ve read all of Nyla K’s MM+ books (yes, even the taboo one..), and she’s one of the queens of erotica/smut. You know you’re going to get bucketloads of it when you read one of her books, and it’s one of the reasons I enjoy it. And this one EXCELS in dirty talk - soooooooo spicy. You also always get unexpected and/or shocking plot lines. I LOOOOVE that too - give me an unpredictable story any day. But this one hits differently. At over 700 pages, it’s, at it’s essence, a story of hate-to-love, grumpy/sunshine, bi-awakening stepbrothers who fall in love. And while this one wasn’t as shocking or unpredictable as her previous books, there’s a depth of emotion and a skilful detailing of sensitive topics that puts this book far ahead any of her others. In dual POV for the two protagonists Avi & Kyran, you really see the turmoil in them as they go through A LOT together.
There’s more swoon, and a different type of angst that I haven’t found in Nyla’s previous books - hearts breaking because there are so many obstacles in the way to them being together, both external and internal. But it makes the HEA so very worthwhile, and the book impossible to put down. And despite them being stepbrothers, it doesn’t feel hugely taboo with the way the plot runs. Hell, even the dabbling in “online intimate content creation” feels kinda innocuous. Kinda…
Check out my reviews and MM content on Instagram, Facebook & Goodreads, all under the same name!
Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Steam /5 ♨️ ♨️♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭🤭🤭
Before I get into talking about the actual book, I want to highlight a change in the author that stands out in this book. Prior to this, Nyla has not included content warnings in her books. She’s actually commented that she refused to do them, because they’re spoilers. And I know many readers with triggers who refuse to read her books as a consequence. In this book, at the beginning, Nyla writes that she has recognised that some readers need content warnings, and can be harmed when unexpectedly coming across a trigger, and has directed us to her website for a full list. I think this is an important change that needs to be acknowledged & congratulated.
I’ve read all of Nyla K’s MM+ books (yes, even the taboo one..), and she’s one of the queens of erotica/smut. You know you’re going to get bucketloads of it when you read one of her books, and it’s one of the reasons I enjoy it. And this one EXCELS in dirty talk - soooooooo spicy. You also always get unexpected and/or shocking plot lines. I LOOOOVE that too - give me an unpredictable story any day. But this one hits differently. At over 700 pages, it’s, at it’s essence, a story of hate-to-love, grumpy/sunshine, bi-awakening stepbrothers who fall in love. And while this one wasn’t as shocking or unpredictable as her previous books, there’s a depth of emotion and a skilful detailing of sensitive topics that puts this book far ahead any of her others. In dual POV for the two protagonists Avi & Kyran, you really see the turmoil in them as they go through A LOT together.
There’s more swoon, and a different type of angst that I haven’t found in Nyla’s previous books - hearts breaking because there are so many obstacles in the way to them being together, both external and internal. But it makes the HEA so very worthwhile, and the book impossible to put down. And despite them being stepbrothers, it doesn’t feel hugely taboo with the way the plot runs. Hell, even the dabbling in “online intimate content creation” feels kinda innocuous. Kinda…
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September 1, 2023
Oh boy. Woah baby. Zoo wee mama. I mean all of that in a good way because this book? Hot damn. It was fabulous.
I’m going to be honest. I did not want to read this book. It’s not that I didn’t think it sounded good because it soooo did, but I couldn’t stomach the thought of reading a 700+ page romance book. That’s just too much for my bird brain to focus on. But, I was getting severe FOMO because all my friends were reading it and loving it, so I took the plunge. And now I could punch myself for not taking the plunge months ago because I loved this book. It didn’t even really feel like 700+ pages to me. Once you get into the book, it just flew by. There were at times where I was like sheesh this is long, but that was before I got into it I suppose. Once I hit 30% and the sexy stuff was happening every chapter ;), I was moving like grease lightning through this.
Aviel Vega is probably one of my favorite characters ever written. That dude is so extremely funny. I was automatically dying at anything he said. I’ve never highlighted more things in a book, and a majority of them were from him. I loved that dude. There was never a time I was annoyed at him. Now Kyran on the other hand? I could’ve throat punched that man plenty of times. Dude got on every nerve I had. I did end up liking him as the book went on, and I started to feel for him after I knew what was going on, but beginning of the book Kyran? Hated that man. He was so mean to my darling angel pants Avi.
If you read the blurb you saw that Avi and Kyran had some sudden financial struggles. If they didn’t get some money somehow, they were going to have to leave college. Kyran is NFL bound. Football is the only thing that matters to him, so he can’t have that happen. Luckily, Avi has a plan. Stepbrothers who make an OnlyFans. Perfect yeah? Kyran definitely doesn’t think so. He’s not gay, and he has no intention of doing anything sexual with his stepbrother who he hates. There’s a fine line between love and hate though, and it would show on the camera as sizzling hot chemistry. Avi just knew people would pay big bucks to see them (and let’s be real, I would’ve been paying to watch them, too). Kyran gave in, and that’s when he saw the money rolling in. And the more content they made, the closer they got. I really loved watching it. It wasn’t an easy ride, but it was worth it. Loved them.
Let’s talk about the sex in this book. Oh my god. That is some of the best sex I have read. It was so good. They had some dirty talking mouths, and I was rocking with that. I also really loved the dynamic between Avi and Ky. I’m not spoiling, but I didn’t expect it.
There are 2 things that I am going to be knit-picky about. It’s not a deal breaker, it just threw me off. There was one instance where when they were having sex, and the word daddy was used. I’m a big fan of the daddy kink, so I’m not upset about that, but it threw me off. I was like what? It was only used that one time at the end of the book. I guess it might’ve been a heat of the moment thing. I also wasn’t a fan of the epilogue. It was just really silly to me. I know they are happy and stuff and are able to be comfortable in who they are, but I was like wow this is too sugary sweet for me. But really it’s not bad. I might’ve been just tired after reading the encyclopedia that is this book.
Side note: If you have specific triggers, I would look this book up on the author’s website before you dive in. The author suggested that I go in blind, so I semi did. I didn’t read the trigger warnings beforehand, but I already knew something that happened due to me reading a bunch of reviews. But, I think the book would’ve been a little more shocking if I had no idea what was going on. But obviously you need to do what’s best for you, so I absolutely recommend looking up the triggers if you need them.
I really liked this book, and I’m glad that I jumped into this book. If you want to read a book about stepbrothers, football, grumpy x sunshine, and sexual awakenings, I would give this a chance!! Don’t let the number of pages scare you off!!!
I’m going to be honest. I did not want to read this book. It’s not that I didn’t think it sounded good because it soooo did, but I couldn’t stomach the thought of reading a 700+ page romance book. That’s just too much for my bird brain to focus on. But, I was getting severe FOMO because all my friends were reading it and loving it, so I took the plunge. And now I could punch myself for not taking the plunge months ago because I loved this book. It didn’t even really feel like 700+ pages to me. Once you get into the book, it just flew by. There were at times where I was like sheesh this is long, but that was before I got into it I suppose. Once I hit 30% and the sexy stuff was happening every chapter ;), I was moving like grease lightning through this.
Aviel Vega is probably one of my favorite characters ever written. That dude is so extremely funny. I was automatically dying at anything he said. I’ve never highlighted more things in a book, and a majority of them were from him. I loved that dude. There was never a time I was annoyed at him. Now Kyran on the other hand? I could’ve throat punched that man plenty of times. Dude got on every nerve I had. I did end up liking him as the book went on, and I started to feel for him after I knew what was going on, but beginning of the book Kyran? Hated that man. He was so mean to my darling angel pants Avi.
If you read the blurb you saw that Avi and Kyran had some sudden financial struggles. If they didn’t get some money somehow, they were going to have to leave college. Kyran is NFL bound. Football is the only thing that matters to him, so he can’t have that happen. Luckily, Avi has a plan. Stepbrothers who make an OnlyFans. Perfect yeah? Kyran definitely doesn’t think so. He’s not gay, and he has no intention of doing anything sexual with his stepbrother who he hates. There’s a fine line between love and hate though, and it would show on the camera as sizzling hot chemistry. Avi just knew people would pay big bucks to see them (and let’s be real, I would’ve been paying to watch them, too). Kyran gave in, and that’s when he saw the money rolling in. And the more content they made, the closer they got. I really loved watching it. It wasn’t an easy ride, but it was worth it. Loved them.
Let’s talk about the sex in this book. Oh my god. That is some of the best sex I have read. It was so good. They had some dirty talking mouths, and I was rocking with that. I also really loved the dynamic between Avi and Ky. I’m not spoiling, but I didn’t expect it.
There are 2 things that I am going to be knit-picky about. It’s not a deal breaker, it just threw me off. There was one instance where when they were having sex, and the word daddy was used. I’m a big fan of the daddy kink, so I’m not upset about that, but it threw me off. I was like what? It was only used that one time at the end of the book. I guess it might’ve been a heat of the moment thing. I also wasn’t a fan of the epilogue. It was just really silly to me. I know they are happy and stuff and are able to be comfortable in who they are, but I was like wow this is too sugary sweet for me. But really it’s not bad. I might’ve been just tired after reading the encyclopedia that is this book.
Side note: If you have specific triggers, I would look this book up on the author’s website before you dive in. The author suggested that I go in blind, so I semi did. I didn’t read the trigger warnings beforehand, but I already knew something that happened due to me reading a bunch of reviews. But, I think the book would’ve been a little more shocking if I had no idea what was going on. But obviously you need to do what’s best for you, so I absolutely recommend looking up the triggers if you need them.
I really liked this book, and I’m glad that I jumped into this book. If you want to read a book about stepbrothers, football, grumpy x sunshine, and sexual awakenings, I would give this a chance!! Don’t let the number of pages scare you off!!!
March 18, 2023
Being completely honest, it took me around 40% of the book to actually get into it. It was sooo annoyingly borins before that, the “shut up asshole, or I’ll waste you”. Basically, the whole “ i hate you because i secretly have a thing for you “ concept; while i like that in terms of more of a ‘bully’ aspect or from a grumpy hero, i can’t handle it from characters who just randomly talk shit for no reason.
But after that. Once they get together? SO SO SO GOOD. The sex scenes were quite literally my favourite one’s I’ve read in months. Kyran was an asshole in the first half and he gave in to his submissive side later on and it was perfection 🤌🤌 the neediness and clinginess!!! How he whined and became all shy. It was something i craved to read. The dominance in Avi wasn’t obverbearing and it made for a perfect read. And I’m sorry but i became a sucker for every time they called each other baby.
Tell me…” His voice trails off, and he gulps.
I peer down at him, and his cheeks are all manners of flushed. “Tell you what?”
He swallows visibly again, whispering, “Tell me you think I’m beautiful.”
But after that. Once they get together? SO SO SO GOOD. The sex scenes were quite literally my favourite one’s I’ve read in months. Kyran was an asshole in the first half and he gave in to his submissive side later on and it was perfection 🤌🤌 the neediness and clinginess!!! How he whined and became all shy. It was something i craved to read. The dominance in Avi wasn’t obverbearing and it made for a perfect read. And I’m sorry but i became a sucker for every time they called each other baby.
Tell me…” His voice trails off, and he gulps.
I peer down at him, and his cheeks are all manners of flushed. “Tell you what?”
He swallows visibly again, whispering, “Tell me you think I’m beautiful.”
May 2, 2023
This thing was already complicated as fuck before. But now, with these stupid butterflies bounding around in my gut, it’s just turned into the biggest mess of my life.
I don't know what kind of sorcery Nyla K. did while conjuring this 700+ page romance, but it had me from page 1. I loved every second of this behemoth.
For the Fans is my first Nyla K. book and it's certainly made me a fan! It's jam packed with complex characters and emotional scenes. It perfects the arc of enemies-to-lovers (well enemies to fucking for OnlyFans' content to lovers).
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When their parents get married, Kyran's and Avi's relationship doesn't get off to the best start. Kyran is hostile as all hell, resenting Avi from day one. And Avi is more than happy to rile Kyan up with his carefree attitude. And when Avi gets accepted to the same college as Kyran, things get even more tense.
Both Kyran and Avi are left in the lurch when Kyran's Dad's business go under. Funds are running dry and they have to come up with something quick to pay for college. Avi starts up an OnlyFans account, but quickly realizes he could be earning a lot more money if he added another guy into the mix - this is where Kyran reluctantly comes in to play.
Running in circles alone, we somehow wound up chasing each other.
Nyla K. really nailed their dynamic. She was able to make the scenario these guys found themselves in realistic and the exploration of their sexuality believable.
For the Fans deals with a lot of dark topics that were gut wrenching and had me tearing up. It wasn't thrown in as background filler for our characters. The author truly gave it the time and respect it deserved to be dealt with.
At the end of the book Nyla K. states that she's going to write more with Kyran and Avi, a potential novella. I can't wait because I need more of them!
December 19, 2023
Audio 5 Stars!
Story 4.5 stars!
Story 4.5 stars!
February 23, 2023
For The Fans will light your fire. Make sure to have those extra batteries on hand. I will keep saying this until I'm blue in the face; Nyla K. never disappoints. She checks off all my boxes.
Avi and Kyran are stepbrothers attending college. Both need money; Avi opens an Only Fans account and asks Kryan to participate. Both straight. Did I mention Kryan can't stand Avi? What could go wrong?
I waited for these two to light my kindle on fire between the intense chemistry and angst. My kindle may have been on fire a time or two. Okay, maybe several times.
While the book is spicy, there is a phenomenal plot. To be honest, it's beautiful to read about their journey. It's not all hearts and rainbows. While it's not a dark romance, there are some dark undertones. These two, especially Kyran, have a special place in my heart and will forever live rent-free in my mind.
I love Avi’s carefree spirit and dirty talking. Kryan is naturally intense, a quarterback with a complex relationship with his parents.
On a side note. The book is based on my hometown; I try not to read many books based on the city. The reason being it's a complex city and suburbs and has its particular language. The author captured it perfectly. She painted a picture, making me feel I was there, and now I’m homesick.
For The Fans is a must-read for all MM readers. Warning you will abandon all adult responsibilities while reading this.
Avi and Kyran are stepbrothers attending college. Both need money; Avi opens an Only Fans account and asks Kryan to participate. Both straight. Did I mention Kryan can't stand Avi? What could go wrong?
I waited for these two to light my kindle on fire between the intense chemistry and angst. My kindle may have been on fire a time or two. Okay, maybe several times.
While the book is spicy, there is a phenomenal plot. To be honest, it's beautiful to read about their journey. It's not all hearts and rainbows. While it's not a dark romance, there are some dark undertones. These two, especially Kyran, have a special place in my heart and will forever live rent-free in my mind.
I love Avi’s carefree spirit and dirty talking. Kryan is naturally intense, a quarterback with a complex relationship with his parents.
On a side note. The book is based on my hometown; I try not to read many books based on the city. The reason being it's a complex city and suburbs and has its particular language. The author captured it perfectly. She painted a picture, making me feel I was there, and now I’m homesick.
For The Fans is a must-read for all MM readers. Warning you will abandon all adult responsibilities while reading this.
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