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412 pages, Paperback
First published December 8, 2008
“My life had been simple a day ago. Work, coffee, rock 'n' roll. Now I was being shot at, dragged around by bad guys and propositioned by the love of my life who I had decided I didn't want anymore.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you.”
“You’re lying. The last time we were both at dinner, you got up in the middle of Mom’s fajita presentation and said you forgot to feed your cat.”
“So?”
“You don’t have a cat.”
“I don’t get a taste of you soon, I’m givin’ up the search and takin’ you to my cabin in Grand Lake. No phones, no cell coverage, no buzzer. Anyone knocks on the door and I’m shooting them.”
“I do this thing for Rosie, you sleep with me"
I stared at him, open-mouthed and in stunned silence.
I did, of course, understand what he meant but he explained further.
"Not like last night, we'll both be naked and sexual acts will be performed."
My expression didn't change except maybe my mouth opened wider.
"I'll expect your participation."
Holy shit.
"Your avid participation."
Dear Lord in Heaven.
Eventually, I whispered, "You must be joking."
He shook his head and watched me.
I dropped my eyes, unable to hold his stare.
"I think I need more coffee,"
“Jesus," he buried his face in my neck. "There's nothin' better in the world than hearing you say my name when I'm inside you." He slid in deeper, filling me. "I've been waiting years to be right here.”
“Lee, you’re gonna have to get over this jealous-possessiveness thing.”
“Indy, you’re gonna have to get used to the fact that I’m the jealous-possessive type.”
“He’s good at this stuff.”
“What stuff?”
“Relationship stuff. He’s a natural. It’s weird, we’re new and we’re old. I can’t get my head around it.”
“He’s shit at relationship stuff. He’s only good at it because it’s you.”
“Sorry?”
“You’re shit at it too, but only because it was never him.”
Indy, our female protagonist, is 30 but has the mental capacity ofa 12-year-oldan 8-yr-old. Very impetuous, irresponsible, stupid, and did I say stupid? Yes, extremely. Who gets kidnapped, punched in the face, stun-gunned, rescued and that very evening has this conversation:
“Where are we going to dinner?” I asked happily and Lee’s eyes slid sideways and his look made a definite promise of “later”, shattering any illusions of my being off the hook.
“Sushi Den,” Ally answered.
At those two words, Ally and I both immediately threw up our hands, index finger and pinkie extended in the famous, devil’s horns, “Rock On!” gesture and squealed, “Sushi!”
I didn't like Indy or the other characters so, sadly, I did a DNF. Sorry.
“Late? We can’t be late! Dad loves you, Lee, but he’s not exactly jumping for joy that we’re together. We can’t be late the first time we go home for a barbeque!”
Lee’s face changed and his eyes became warm. “Are we together?”
Oh crap. I started thinking fast. “We’re not not together.”
“I’m not entirely certain what to do with that.”
I explained, “We’re not exactly together and were not not together. We’re in together limbo. We’re test driving together to see if we want to buy it.”
And
“They’re on a Lee and Indy Sex Watch.”
“Come again?”
“They want to know when we’ve done it.” Silence. I went on, “If we don’t do it soon, they might force us to at gunpoint.”
“Christ.”
“I know. No pressure though. I told them we’re taking it slow.”
“You have to report in?” he asked.
“I kind of feel obliged,” I admitted.
“How’s that?”
I didn’t want to tell him I’d recruited them both for Lee Maneuvers in the past, so I said, “Never mind.”
Or….
“Let me get this straight,” he said, and I could tell he was laughing. “You dragged Eddie to Walgreens to help pick out condoms for me?”
“Well, I didn’t know! I’m not the kind of girl who keeps condoms around. That’s the guy’s job and you said we were gonna have to use different precautions.”
“Did you tell Eddie the part about long-lasting reliability?”