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Bride

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A dangerous alliance between a Vampyre bride and an Alpha Werewolf becomes a love deep enough to sink your teeth into in this new paranormal romance.

Misery Lark, the only daughter of the most powerful Vampyre councilman of the Southwest, is an outcast—again. Her days of living in anonymity among the Humans are over: she has been called upon to uphold a historic peacekeeping alliance between the Vampyres and their mortal enemies, the Weres, and she sees little choice but to surrender herself in the exchange—again...

Weres are ruthless and unpredictable, and their Alpha, Lowe Moreland, is no exception. He rules his pack with absolute authority, but not without justice. And, unlike the Vampyre Council, not without feeling. It’s clear from the way he tracks Misery’s every movement that he doesn’t trust her. If only he knew how right he was….

Because Misery has her own reasons to agree to this marriage of convenience, reasons that have nothing to do with politics or alliances, and everything to do with the only thing she's ever cared about. And she is willing to do whatever it takes to get back what’s hers, even if it means a life alone in Were territory…alone with the wolf.

410 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 6, 2024

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About the author

Ali Hazelwood

18 books131k followers
I'm Ali, and I write contemporary romcom novels about women in STEM and academia. I love cats, Nutella, and side ponytails. I'm also currently learning to crochet, so as you can tell I'm a super busy gal with an intense and exciting life!

I only use Goodreads as a reader, to review and hype books that I've loved (many of these book are ARCs received from fellow authors).

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5 stars
149,592 (32%)
4 stars
195,747 (42%)
3 stars
88,525 (19%)
2 stars
20,016 (4%)
1 star
5,371 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 80,114 reviews
Profile Image for len ❀ [hiatus].
390 reviews4,306 followers
April 30, 2024
update: 4/27/24
people are so funny. they preach about respecting people’s opinions and that everyone is entitled to it but contradict themselves and get hurt the moment they see someone rating a book 1-star and writing “a whole essay” on why they didn't like it. you poor thing, hurt over a stranger’s opinion over a book. on a book reviewing site. where we can all share our own thoughts. what has 2024 come to, right? i’ve decided to turn off comments and not let non-friends comment on reviews, as well as go private, cause people can’t understand that this is a public book reviewing site where we are all entitled to say what we want about a book we didn’t like. i’d like to remind everyone that this is my third ali hazelwood book and i read it because it was a paranormal romance, not a contemporary stem romance like the rest. y’all like to read but clearly didn’t read where i stated this.

also, if you guys think this review is a whole essay, don't look at my full, coherent reviews. ALSO, if i wanna write an essay, you bet i will. i didn’t know there were rules to how we choose to write reviews! 🫣

telling me to grow up but y’all are mad i didn't like your 2010 wattpad vampyre romance over a character named misery. y’all are miserable just like her name. commenting on reviews because you’re mad. 😂 you guys care way too much how strangers spend their own time, it's concerning.

in reply to most comments i get:
“get a job” i do, and it pays well. it pays more than enough for myself, for my bills, and for my food.
“get a life” says the one commenting on a review they disagree with.
“why spend your time reading her books” because i can. thanks for caring about how i chose to spend my own time.
“did you need to write a whole essay?” did they never teach you in class how to write essays? these are bullet points. there’s a difference. but if i wanna write an ‘essay’ over a book i didn’t like, i will. maybe teach yourself what the words opinion and decision means.
“it’s not that serious” so why are you mad?
“you’re boring” good thing we aren’t friends.

----------------------------------------

if ali hazelwood has 1000 haters, i’m one of them. if ali hazelwood has 100 haters, i’m one of them. if ali hazelwood has 50 haters, i’m one of them. if ali hazelwood has 1 hater, i’m me. if ali hazelwood has no haters, it means i am dead. if the world is with ali hazelwood, then i am against the world.

other actual thought because i did actually read this…this:
• enemies to lovers WHERE? it is never to be seen. not even an ounce of it.
• do authors not get second hand embarrassment giving their characters terrible names like misery and lowe??
• vampYres instead of vampires is the cherry on top
• that cover is giving 2013 wattpad era
• i felt no chemistry between the characters. it’s too bad because their friendship and slow burn had potential.
• of course he growls, hisses and has a very husky voice
• don’t forget he’s So Big. his shoe size is 14, because that is very important and necessary information. his hand is also so big it engulfs her own. he towers over her because He’s Huge. DO NOT FORGET!
• obviously he never actually Hated Her, he just had to kinda pretend. she just thinks he does because he can’t stand the smell of her. kinda like when edward was near bella that first time and she thought she reeked? yeah, like that. so she carried this misconception about what he thinks about her but OBVIOUSLY he just, has always liked her. he has been secretly obsessed with her, because when are they not secretly obsessed but pretend they are not? never.
• OF COURSE he’s broody and grumpy and can be mean in the outside but is actually a Big Softie deep down inside. DUH!
• misery is quite possibly the most oblivious, useless, boring, weakest, most lame vampire i have ever read about. her being a vampire is actually really irrelevant that you might even forget she’s a vampire. she doesn’t know the difference between a ladle and spatula. ali really likes making her heroines really fucking stupid.
• don’t ask me what she looks like because i wouldn’t know. all i know is that she bleeds purple and has pointy ears, which is a weird feature for vampires but whatever. it seems like this author still doesn’t like describing to her readers her characters enough to make them visualizing.
• absolutely bland, boring, and very unflavored mmc, just like the rest. he’s a werewolf, has hair that is short and a rich brown cut to a buzz, is the alpha, has broad shoulders…that’s it. anything new? no, obviously. he growls and hisses, but this time he is an artist, i guess, who draws the mc, and takes care of a child.
• this was only my third read from this author. i’ve read The Love Hypothesis and Love on the Brain, but i’ve avoided everything published after ‘love on the brain’ because i know i wouldn’t enjoy them. fortunately, i don’t have any desire to read them. i read this because it’s the first paranormal romance by this author, and, for some reason, i thought the genre would mean this would be different. that was not the case for me, obviously. i don’t think i’ll be reading this author again in the future unless serena and koen get their story cause that ending?? 👀
• terrible job of world-building. this author needs to stick to contemporaries. not only does this author not give enough physical descriptions about her characters features but the world building is severely lacking. there is little to no explanation of where and how everything happened. we really just get the basic information necessary. a lot of info dump in the beginning—historical context, names, wars, systems, political diplomatic views, etc. everything piled together.
• formulaic, boring, cliché, and immature writing. i can’t even say it’s because this author started off writing fanfiction on ao3 when so many fanfics on ao3 (and even wattpad) are written immensely better than this. so many books published yet this this authors writing hasn’t improved since her debut. i guess when you write a book like the love hypothesis, your quality of books isn’t important anymore because you know your targeted audience will eat up the bare minimum. the characters in this might as well be the same as her previous characters except they’re in a paranormal setting.
if you are excited for this, take my review with a grain of salt as i haven’t enjoyed this author before so just because i didn’t like it, doesn’t mean you won’t. a lot of my friends love this author and her stories. if you haven’t read ali before, you might like it! or, if read her before and have an idea what to expect and don’t care about the formulaic writing, you might enjoy this! for me, the unoriginality, lack of world building, lack of physical characteristics, writing, dialogue, etc., are what made this another disappointing read. if you enjoy this though, good for you!
Profile Image for aleksandra.
731 reviews3,083 followers
April 26, 2024
3.75/5

I didn't expect this book to receive such a high rating from me, but as it turns out, I liked it — I liked it a lot even. I read Ali Hazelwood for the vibes and obsessed heroes, and that's exactly what I got, so I'm satisfied. Satisfied to the point that this book may have become my favorite Ali book. I never thought a book with an arranged marriage between an alpha werewolf and a vampire would become one, but here we are. I guess that's what happens when you grow up with Wattpad.

Listen. Is Ali the best author with the most gorgeous writing style? No. Does she write almost the same male characters, but with different hairstyles and workplaces? Yes. But does it matter to me? No. Her stories always absorb me from the very beginning to the end to the point where I completely forget about reality, so I simply love them despite their many imperfections. You could look me straight in the eye and tell me that these books are cringe, stupid, predictable and that I can probably find better stories on Wattpad, and I would completely agree, but I would still simply read them, as they just have that something that works for me.


But, let’s move on to the point. My thoughts. Some spoilers also start here.

one If you were expecting another short heroine and a hero who would be twice her size, you will be disappointed. We finally have a tall couple.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ description

two I really liked our heroine Misery. Yes, Ali did her dirty with that name and some of her fashion choices — the galaxy t-shirt, but it doesn't change the fact that I enjoyed her character. She definitely won't be added to my 'favorite heroines' folder, but compared to really dumb heroines, she wasn't bad.

three The hero, despite the situation at the end when I wanted to strangle him, yes, I'm talking about the scene in chapter twenty-five when he left her, claiming that "it was a mistake" and "she shouldn't be tied to someone like him", still stole my heart. I know he wanted her to finally have free will and be able to choose what she wanted in her life, but he could have approached it differently.

Still, as I said, I loved him. How could I not love the possessive architect Alpha Werewolf who has an amazing way with children, who would do anything for you and his people, who would draw you, who would remind you that consent is the hottest thing in the world and with whose side you would finally find your family and your place in the world. Yes, I know the part about "architect Alpha Werewolf" sounds stupid and like something straight out of a bad Wattpad fanfiction, but I don't care.

“I would take anything she chose to give me—the tiniest fraction or her entire world. I would take her for a single night knowing that I’ll lose her by morning, and I would hold on to her and never let go. I would take her healthy, or sick, or tired, or angry, or strong, and it would be my fucking privilege. I would take her problems, her gifts, her moods, her passions, her jokes, her body—I would take every last thing, if she chose to give it to me.”


four The romance was in typical Ali Hazelwood style, meaning a hero who is almost in love with the heroine from the beginning, but for some reason doesn't want to admit it, and a heroine who can't pick up any hint about it even though it's quite obvious. However, this does not change the fact that I ate it up. The smut too, if you know me, you don't, but it was kind of hot.

five The plot was pretty interesting to me in the beginning, but it lost me towards the end when I stopped caring about the whole werewolf/vampire rivalry and Misery’s friend situation, but I was still intrigued enough to not put the book down once, so I won't complain.


This was supposed to be a short review, but it didn't work out again, but if you are looking for a marriage in convenience romance, found family, werewolves and vamps, a slow-burn with, at least, in my opinion, great tension, don’t be shy and add it to your tbr.


————————


Vampires and werewolfs? I just know this man will be barking, growling and purring at her
Profile Image for SK.
488 reviews8,797 followers
March 5, 2024
That was surprisingly entertaining and actually good. I applaud Ali Hazelwood for taking a risk out of her comfort zone and writing this paranormal romance. She did not ruin werewolves and vampires for me after all 😌This change of writing and direction was majorly needed and it worked brilliantly. But tbf I had minimal expectations 🤷‍♀️

✔️ Vampires + werewolves
✔️ Marriage of convenience
✔️ Slow burn

This one came pretty close to perfection. I liked the plot, characters and romance. The paranormal romance and gothic vibes were really good, the whole environment was quite mesmerizing. Tho I would suggest that please don't go in expecting a world building- it's just romance. It's also quite fast paced and easy to binge. If you are in a reading slump, this is your cure.

The characters are fun. Misery and Lowe are truly made for each other. I love how they balance each other out. While Misery is unlike misery, in fact quite joyful and a fun vamp to be around. Lowe, on the other hand keeps to himself. I also noticed that Lowe although a werewolf, had a very Edward Cullen like personality. Instead of a typical douche, you are met with someone who actually cares. Misery's sarcasm and sense of humor was fun. Ali Hazelwood thankfully for once did not go over the top with it.

The side characters- Ana, Serena and Alex were stand outs. Owen was kinda predictable. It also seems like there's something happening with Serena and Koen? Is there going to be another book? CAUSE I NEED IT!!!

The romance was pretty good. I devoured how Lowe and Misery were into each other. The slow burn was delicious. The spice not so much. Ali, listen to me bestie, in the most gentle way possible, babes, you cannot write smut 😭😭 I know you want to. But please for the love of God, stop writing smut. I wanna give you five stars but I can't until you stop knotting, and opening an Airbnb inside people's vaginas 😭😭

On a serious note, one thing that could have been better written was the mate storyline. It did not make sense. One moment Lowe wants her, the next he doesn't, then he does, then he doesn't, and then he does. Yeah, he clearly wanted her so why write it like that?! That deducted a star from me.

Overall, it's pretty fun and worth trying. I adored the subtle Twilight references 🥰

~•~•~
Ali, bestie.. you better not ruin werewolves or vampires for me or am out for revenge 😀😀😀
Profile Image for Ayman.
274 reviews114k followers
February 18, 2024
the only dawg in this book was me reading it…

why did i lose myself control when he would be protective over her? why did i tear my pillow in half when he ‘marked’ her with his scent? why was i hollowing at the moon when they tied the knot?! 🤭

in classic ali hazelwood fashion im served with a quirky female protagonist and a overlay muscled man with obsessive tendencies. and i am 100% here for it. i’ll always eat it up and bite my nails down to the quick reading her books.

the way that Lowe got me wanting to walk the house in a sweet robe and a cigar….i love this werewolf!! from the cute ass relationship with his little sister to the way he leads his pack to going feral over Misery!!! i feel his masculine energy real bad.

it totally fundamentally changed me as a person when she fed on him. i can’t lie, that was poetic and i let out an animalistic moan. these bitches are feral for one another and it’s everything for me.
Profile Image for Heather Mclarry.
288 reviews39.5k followers
January 26, 2024
4.5⭐️ but honestly In a few days I might just say fuck it and say it’s a five star book for the vibes

I JUST HAD A 5 MINUTE GIGGLE FEST AFTER FINISHING THIS OVER THE FACT THAT I THINK SO MANY PEOPLE ARE NOT GONNA LIKE THIS BOOK HAHAHAHAHA (SUCKS FOR U) This definitely won’t be everyone’s cup of tea but if you were like me as a child, a teen wolf loving, AO3 werewolf fans fic reader, this might just speak to your soul like it did mine. I’m afraid Ali ate with this book and it healed my inner child in a way. I had so much fun reading this silly little book.

Mark your calendars for Feb 6 🫡🫡🫡
Profile Image for Ali Goodwin.
282 reviews37.4k followers
February 15, 2024
4.5 ⭐️s! This book is so different from Ali Hazelwoods last books so I wasn’t sure if I’d like it or not but I LOVED it!! The entire world is so fun. I love that we get majority a romance plot but also politics, a little mystery, and the history of the world.

I beg Ali Hazelwood to write more books in this world!!

I also surprisingly don’t think I’ve really read books with vampires or werewolfs before but now I want to read more!
Profile Image for chan ☆.
1,206 reviews57.4k followers
February 22, 2024
what're the odds she is a teeny tiny vampire and he is a tall very large very broad werewolf


actual review

he was in fact a size 14 shoe. which didn't scare me as much as mr. man's incredible, inflatable, probably million inch cock.

water wing dick aside, this was fabulous. we need more paranormal in 2024, thank you.
Profile Image for Claudia Lomelí.
Author 10 books83.1k followers
October 9, 2023
Se aleja de la fórmula convencional de Ali Hazelwood y eso lo aprecio, me gustó bastante y obviamente terminé enamorada de Lowe Moreland. Eso sí, sigo en shock de que Ali se atreviera a traer LOS NUDOS (aka: knot) al mainstream, jajajajajajaja.
Profile Image for Lauren Asher.
Author 18 books51.5k followers
Read
February 2, 2024
As a paranormal romance girlie, this checked every box for me and became an instant favorite!
Profile Image for Cindy.
517 reviews128k followers
Read
April 12, 2024
Ali Slayzelwood slays again, haters can knot believe it!
Profile Image for Kat.
275 reviews80.3k followers
Read
November 28, 2024
WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK OWWOOOOOOOOOOO
Profile Image for buket.
900 reviews1,384 followers
February 7, 2024
ali hazelwood said sit back and let me cook for you 🍽️ and then served this💅🏻

🥣 INGREDIENTS 🫕
• 150 gr he falls first
• 260 gr fated mates
• 1 cup found family
• 1 cup enemies to lovers
• 1 tbsp adorable kid
• 1.5 tbsp male pov

(if you change words to butter, chocolate, sugar, flour, vanilla and cocoa powder in order you’ll have the recipe for an amazing brownie. don’t forget to add 3 eggs‼️💅🏻)

look i’m not unbiased when it comes to ali hazelwood. i love everything she writes (we will pretend Check & Mate doesn’t exist) and i’m not surprised that i loved this. HOWEVER i can honestly say that i’ve never enjoyed one of her books this much before. i didn’t eat, breathe or sleep until i finished this😋

the mystery, the betrayal, twist and turns??!! and also slow burn?! friendship and found family💌🥰🩷🥹 she wrote this for me. i mean you can read it too but obviously the target audience was me💅🏻😋

the littlest crumbs of his pov was everything. it was like 2 sentences in every chapter but they were everything.🤭

🐺 “You’re not a problem, Misery. You’re a privilege.”


please PLEASE ali i’m begging you, please make this a series‼️ i see what you did in the epilogue and i NEED that story‼️🙏🏼





~~~~~
ruby dixon quote on the cover???!! my TWO FAVORITES
March 4, 2024
13 reasons why you should not waste your time reading this book:

1. a wannabe mystery thriller with poor execution
2. highly underwhelming
3. incredibly boring
4. with a bland MMC (i don't hate him, but he didn't faze me much)
5. with good characters but trash world building (srsly misery was funny as fuck. she, along with ana, alex, and the other weres were the only redeeming points of this book)
6. lame romance
7. zero chemistry
8. unseasoned smut (not him chanting my mate, my mate, my mate during smut at the last chapter💀 also-- "My beautiful mate, coming all over my knot." -- yeah absolutely tf not💀🤚
9. the cover (and the storyline) is giving wattpad
10. un-digestable writing. the plot twist chapter gave me such a major headache. misery's bitchass of a father took pages to explain shit. LIKE DUDE JUST COME TO THE FUCKING POINT, YOU AIN'T NO POET!!
11. the romance doesn't actually start until 40% of the book and it still isn't the main focus of the book (although it did try to be)
12. third act breakup. same old silly reason as to why the mmc can't be with the fmc despite knowing that she's his mate. "wE ArE eNeMiES wE aRe nOt meAnT tO bE toGEtHeR" 🙄🙄 srsly enemies to lovers where?? they became friends right from their first meeting.
13. HARDLY ANY MEMORABLE SWOON WORTHY MOMENTS.

a shame that this had to be my first ali hazelwood book. either that, or she's not my cuppa tea, knowing how some people are claiming this to be her best work.

>> what i really really liked is the characters. all of them were so awesome. misery was a great fmc. she had that humour, boldness, courage and she knew how to fucking communicate (unlike lowe🙄). alex was such a cute nerd and ana is the loml. i love that cute little shit. hell i even like mike. and serena!! and koen!! there's something about the found family trope that i eat up EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. no matter how absurd the rest of the book is. that 1 star is purely for this
--------------------------------------------------------------

alright ali, i'll excuse all the shitshow you pooped here only if you give me SERENA AND KOEN'S BOOK RIGHT FUCKING NOW 💳💥💳💥💳💥
Profile Image for Lacey (laceybooklovers).
2,137 reviews12k followers
February 7, 2024
This was everything that I wanted in a paranormal romance!!!

To no one’s surprise, I loved this book! I'm an Ali Hazelwood stan, so my hopes for her very first PNR were extremely high, and I’m so happy that it lived up to all my expectations. This is a marriage of convenience between a vampire heroine and an alpha werewolf hero. Misery is the daughter of a powerful vampire politician and she enters a MOC with Lowe, the alpha of a werewolf pack, not just to form an alliance between the two species (who don’t like each other), but also to find out where her missing best friend is.

It’s such a fun read and I loved learning about this paranormal world. The romance is classic Ali Hazelwood, just with a PNR twist. Basically, we have a hero who’s secretly pining and growing obsessed with the heroine, and she has no idea. It’s a little slow burn, but there’s still some GOOD steam. It’s focused just more in the second half of the book. But I loved Lowe and Misery, and I LOVED Misery's sense of humor. The girl is freaking hilarious.

I’m dying for Ali to write more PNRs now. Like the ending of this book?? You can't tell me that's not a lead up to more of this world. Either way, it truly feels like Ali Hazelwood was MEANT to write PNR and I'm praying for her next one!

*****

THIS IS NOT A DRILL ALI HAZELWOOD IS WRITING A VAMPIRE + WEREWOLF ROMANCE OMFG. WITH A MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE.
Profile Image for Riley.
446 reviews23.8k followers
February 13, 2024
I understand the Ali Hazelwood hype now. This book had me by a chokehold, I finished reading it and immediately started over from the beginning and read it again
Profile Image for marwah.
495 reviews1,116 followers
Want to read
November 16, 2023
omg a jacobrenesmee fanfic 😍😍😍😍
Profile Image for Nilufer Ozmekik.
2,780 reviews55k followers
October 18, 2024
Hell yeah! Ali Hazelwood showed readers how to rock 'n' roll in a fantasy universe by creating the most intelligent, quirky, nerdy heroine free of stereotypes and clichés. She possesses magical fingers that can sharpen computer skills for coding and breaking into highly secured werewolf territories!

Themes of enemies to lovers and forbidden love may initially make us think we're in for a Twilight-like romance story. However, I assure you that this complex story offers so much more. Firstly, this book is more than a forbidden romance; it tells the tale of Misery Lark, the only daughter of the most powerful Vampyr councilman in the South, and Lowe Moreland, the most powerful Alpha of the Werewolves. Their marriage aims to bring peace and create an alliance between age-old mortal enemies. There's so much happening in the story, including political maneuvering and highly calculated schemes within the territories of werewolves and vampyres. A group of rebels, calling themselves the "Loyals," whose lives have been spared by Lowe, seeks to avenge him by recruiting insiders from their inner circles, blackmailing them into committing treasonous acts.

The story is filled with action-packed sequences, intricate world-building, and intercepted mysteries about Lowe's family line and Misery's inner circle, all of which intrigue readers to learn more. Interestingly, the adventure parts of the book slightly overshadow the romantic aspects. The fantasy world-building and the detailed rules and historical progress among werewolves, vampyres, and humans are depicted intelligently. I expected Ali Hazelwood to excel in the fantasy genre as much as in steamy romance, and I'm thrilled to say she didn't disappoint.

Here's a summary of the events in this book:

After evading several attempts on her life, including bullets, knives, and other lethal weapons orchestrated to kill her, Misery leaves the Vampyre community to live in the human world with her best friend, Serena. She gets a job, wears contact lenses to conceal her irises, hides her fangs, and strives to create a peaceful life. However, her father summons her, proposing a marriage between werewolves and vampyres to establish an alliance during the reign of a new human governor. Misery is too smart not to take the bait, but as soon as she hears the name of the groom-to-be, she accepts the offer without asking for details. Is it a martyr complex, a personal concession, or does she have another agenda for her extremely masculine groom who cannot stand her scent?

After the marriage ceremony proceeds without incident, if you discount the usual suicide attempts against Misery (she's become accustomed to these life-threatening situations since she was once a forced prisoner for a peace offering, but that's another story), Misery finds herself in her secluded mansion, surrounded by werewolves who despise her, searching for a reason to end the forced arrangement. Only six-year-old Anna, Lowe's little sister, acts friendly toward her despite her caregivers' snarky comments about Misery.

When Lowe senses the secret that threatens her unwanted marriage, he offers her an alliance to uncover the mysteries that will ultimately benefit them. However, not only their lives but also their hearts are at stake during this very perilous, full-throttle, wild adventure.

Lowe is more than a vindictive alpha werewolf facade. He's loyal, perceptive, caring, and puts everyone's needs first. He's the first person to show how much he truly cares about her. Could she learn to trust and lower her emotional barricades to let him in?

Overall, this is a smart, riveting, and highly entertaining quirky fantasy romance that I thoroughly enjoyed. I hope there will be more to come, as implied in the epilogue. I wholeheartedly congratulate my favorite steamy romance author for immersing me in a well-executed fantasy world, even though I'm not a big fan of werewolves (I was never on Team Jacob).

Many thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for sharing this amazing book's digital reviewer copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.

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Profile Image for chloé ✿ .
174 reviews3,471 followers
May 17, 2024
what started off as promising went downhill quick.

╰┈➤ first 1/3 of the book: solid 4 stars 😄
╰┈➤ if i had skipped the spice: 3 stars 🙂
╰┈➤ the book including the knot spice: 2 stars 🥴
╰┈➤ the spice alone: 0 stars. negative stars, even. jail.

the spice was knot it. it wasn't even the knot itself that was bad... it was how the scenes were written. i am slightly? traumatized. i also traumatized my husband when i forced him to read some of the spice. at least i’m not alone in my misery.

speaking of Misery...

… really? that is, no joke, the name of the fmc. need i say more?

i hope i never have to think of The Home Depot’s Lowe’s strange, lumpy penis ever again.

i am moving on now, goodbye. 👋🏻😌
Profile Image for s.penkevich.
1,389 reviews11.6k followers
May 17, 2024
This is knot not your typical Ali Hazelwood but if you are looking for a furr-ociously good time…no, no, that's too corny… mount up and…wait, too suggestive… sink your teeth into…ah hell…
Okay so Bride by Ali Hazelwood is going to lend itself to a lot of jokes and I applaud Hazelwood for leaning into them because at its heart this is a fun and rather bitingly funny novel that brings us back into the veins of paranormal romance that dominated the early 2000s. A forced wedding between a vampire and werewolf (a big, beefy, beast of a man-beast) in order to uphold an uneasy truce kick off this story of paranormal politicking and high-energy action paired with a slow-burn romance of an enemies-to-lovers plot (okay it’s not really EtL, it’s more like vaguely-distrustful to lovers) that puts a new meaning to the term “heavy petting” (pawing?). I tend to prefer romance stories that have a larger plot to hold them up, which is what we have here, though admittedly the plot is a bit lackluster and kind of conflates complicating the reveal of the politics and mysteries with actual complexity. Still this is a pretty fun read that highlights a lot of what Hazelwood does best in a very different scenario for her while also making it feel like a natural next step for her stories and I think this is one that if decide to bite in for some fun, you’ll get just that.

Oh, have I mentioned the werewolf is huge yet? Big shocker in a Hazelwood book, right? I mean, when I saw werewolf man we all knew this was coming (and so is he…) but guess what? Misery (oh yea, she named her Misery lol) is tall, so I’d like to applaud Hazelwood for some character growth. Oh, wait, sorry, Werewolf Lowe is actually so huge he can’t even fit in their single king-sized bed (if you are playing Romance Tropes drinking game, take a shot for single bed) so you be the judge if its still her big man little woman trope (if yes, take another shot). But it is sort of fun to see a lot of Hazelwood’s signature elements here and I suppose this is the paranormal offshoot of her STEM stories as Misery happens to be a computer genius and that comes in handy (paw-y?) here.

There’s a lot going on here and without spoiling much, due to some long feud and a lot of weird truces that tend to involve hostages and interspecies erotica pairings, humans, werewolves and vampires are all poised and ready for bloodshed and this marriage is another stop-gap in that all. Misery now has to live amongst werewolves (they go by Weres which…okay I’ll get to the world building soon but its not the best) who definitely want to kill her but shes so used to ‘feeling alone among people who were never supposed to be my own’ after living with humans all life that she’s gonna give it the old college try! Good for her even if ‘the whole rival-species-bound-by-centuries-of-hostility-until-the-bloody-demise-of-the-weakest-will-put-an-end-to-the-senseless-suffering thing might seem discouraging.’ Theres a slow moving romance as they move from utter distrust to relying on each other and Lowe being pretty damn into her while refusing to admit it and Misery refusing to notice that he’s pretty damn obvious because we need to stretch this already thin plot out with some romantic tension (drink). This is actually fairly light on the romance and the spicier stuff comes later and while this book does lean towards some omegaverse vibes it feels more a nod to all that than actually embracing it. Except knotting (take a shot). Hazelwood fans will enjoy this and they should, though I’m curious if those who might come to this from a deep love or paranormal romance might find it to read like a pop song cover of a deep-cut song they enjoy.

This felt fairly undercooked though to me. In part because the world building is mostly done through conversation between Misery and Lowe, which is something I love in theory and found books like The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet to brilliantly execute world building through picking up context in casual conversations between characters, but here the two are distrustful and all coy about revealing things. Its like pulling teeth because thats basically what they are doing to get answers out of each other and I found myself shaking the book screaming just fucking tell me already (take another shot, not for tropes but in solidarity). Actually, Lowe is kind of annoying at times to be honest, even with his whole “tough alpha” schtick masking that he’s really a sweet sensitive boy packing a donkey sized dick (drink), and his whole “want better than me” thing was eye rolling. But anyways, the bigger catch is…none of the elements feel particularly fresh? And nobody wants a stale body if you are going to suck it’s blood, am i right vampires? A lot of it felt rather cut-and-paste or “spot what this is inspired by” which sometimes made me realize I liked the techniques better in the other books. Theres definitely a BIG Underworld film vibe here, and the whole sucking blood being orgasmic has been done before. I didn’t dislike this book but it made me actually realize I might like Butler’s Fledgling more than I did before. It all works though, I just don’t think fantasy world building is Hazelwood’s greatest strength and a lot of the ambiguities work to ignore that a lot of it feels fairly flimsy.

So will these two ‘live bitingly ever after’ or will the politics of their world crush them? It’s worth a read, and I did like the characters quite a bit. I do like Misery asserting herself against and “alpha” and him recognizing her as a strong woman with agency. The plot is pretty fun too with some good twists, and really I have nothing to complain about other than it just didn’t land as well for me as her YA book. It does seem to be both chasing a romantasy trend while also broadening and popularizing it so its sort of a publishing slam dunk and I think a lot of people will rightfully enjoy it. It’s left pretty open for a sequel, I’ll look forward to finding out from your reviews because I think one was more than enough for me.

2.5/5
Profile Image for benedicta.
422 reviews625 followers
March 28, 2024
DNF @ pg 229 - I'm out ✌🏾

even the characters in the book were not taking the story seriously. how could I?
Profile Image for siff ♡.
162 reviews1,195 followers
Want to read
February 17, 2024
it's giving jacob black x edward cullen (haven't read it yet tho)

description
Profile Image for EmmaSkies.
233 reviews7,127 followers
February 11, 2024
4.5⭐️
Ali Hazelwood has me in a fucking chokehold, as per usual
Profile Image for Melanie.
1,224 reviews102k followers
November 1, 2024
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley

i feel like all my friends who also loved this one, were all by my side here on goodreads, back in the early 2010s, reading all the paranormal romances known to man (or that our moms kept on their bookshelves). the nostalgia for books like riley jenson, black dagger brotherhood, kate daniels were so very felt. yet, this book completely stands on its own and is a really good book that i highly recommend.

and this book had so many of my favorite paranormal romance trope sets - forbidden romance, bonded fated mates, and of course a marriage of convenience between our two main characters:

misery - vampyre who has been living amongst humans her whole life, but finds herself as the key component in an alliance that will keep the peace with her people, while also having her own human inspired agenda for this forced arrangement.

lowe - werewolf alpha who is still asserting his new dominance over his people, while also trying to assess who he can trust or not, while also being an amazing caretaker for his little sister.

“I would take anything she chose to give me—the tiniest fraction or her entire world. I would take her for a single night knowing that I’ll lose her by morning, and I would hold on to her and never let go. I would take her healthy, or sick, or tired, or angry, or strong, and it would be my fucking privilege. I would take her problems, her gifts, her moods, her passions, her jokes, her body—I would take every last thing, if she chose to give it to me.”

and they had me truly rooting for them, unable to put this book down, after the very first scene of them together. but this also has a pretty big mystery plotline that took me by surprise, and also completely enthralled me. and ultimately this had such a big emphasis on found family and finding your own pack of people you love and trust unconditionally that i feel like i just ended up loving the entire cast of side characters too.

let’s just embrace the bullet points and quickly talk about other things i really loved:
➛ obviously vampires and werewolves
➛ arranged marriage but forbidden romance
➛ one bed scene(s)
➛ the cutest little sibling ever
➛ the sweetest brother and sister relationship x2
➛ and also a really heartwarming found family / best friend relationship
⤷ It was truly giving bryce and danika but better
➛ a big appreciation of peanut butter
➛ an amazing epilogue that will hopefully set up a book two in this world

i will say that there was a very unnecessary and annoying third act conflict that just didn’t make sense to me (and made me side eye lowe a little), but i still really enjoyed this one and it was such a fast paced read that really tugged at my heartstrings in all the found family ways. i think i just really like ali hazlewood’s stories, and i always end up connecting with them on some level, and that just enhances my reading experience each and every time. i recommend this to all my romance friends, but i extra recommend it to all my pnr friends who want a little extra nostalgia on top of a really good story.

lastly, and least importantly, if i ever dated anyone named misery, i feel like i would have to send hayley williams or paramore royalties. because the way misery business was living in my head rent free while reading this was actually insane.

content warnings from the author (please use caution for potential spoilers): death of several people within the context of a war between different species (vampires, werewolves, and humans) is mentioned, several mentions of blood, kidnapping, mild violence, poisoning and attempted murder, attempted kidnapping/harming of a child (she is unharmed), death of a parent (off page in the past and off page in the present), explicit and graphic sexual content, knotting (the mmc’s apparatus is not quite human?), cursing and vulgar language

other trigger + content warnings i found while reading (ali's books really do have such good tws - i am always so thankful and impressed): missing friend, mention of sickness of child (she is fine), spider mentions, brief mention of death during childbirth, brief mention of loss of a partner in past, mention of vomit, parental abuse and neglect, and violence


my amazing friend nadia gifted me this signed copy! i am so thankful and you'll never know how much i love ali's bat 🦇

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