Please Don't Eat the Babies

Amateurish account of two young women abducted by thugs after the gold coin worn by one of them is recognised as a rare antiquity. After a lot of threats and intimidation, the girls finally agree to reveal the location of the treasure, recounting in flashback the horrific events they survived as a pair of precocious teenagers when their group was drugged and dismembered by a family of deranged maniacs on a remote island.

An earthquake, a bizarre ritualistic castration, random close-ups of cockroaches, a village idiot and a pair of not-so-wholesome old folks with sinister intentions are just a few of the dubious encounters you'll experience in this offbeat thriller. 30's cowboy staple Hank Worden looks frail but delivers his corn-fed dialogue ("I done got him that time granny, now how 'bout some pie") with professionalism, while the only other recognisable face is that of Kirsten Baker ("Friday the 13th Part II") in a frivolous (and topless) supporting role.

Low budget props and special effects (e.g. the sponge-dummy "body" lying on the ground in the barn when Todd is attempting his escape) earn a high camp value while a couple of gruesome meat hook / meat cleaver incidents and a gratuitous sex scene up the sadism ratio considerably. Quirky and amateurish, but curiously entertaining nonetheless, the film's legacy of wisdom is a warning to all: don't accept herbal tea from old folks.