Frosty Returns

This is bad. I mean, it's just BAD. There is no reason at all to watch this.

The animation is poor and the characters look like cheap, Charlie Brown knockoffs. Specifically, the nerdy science kid looks like Marcie's illegitimate little brother with a bad wig. The writers, desperately trying to channel the spirit of Willy Wonka, tried to make a script that appealed to kids on one level, and adults on another, and failed, miserably, at both.

The music (by Mark Mothersbaugh, late of DEVO) was tuneless and boring and completely unmemorable - which, considering it came from someone who had given us inspired music like "That's Pep", "Peek-a-Boo" and the cover of "Satisfaction", you expected far better.

Shall I go on? In an attempt to relate to kids from broken homes, they have Holly's mother, Lil, with a father who is unaccounted for. My best guess is that he was at Moe's Place with Homer Simpson because he was too embarrassed to be associated with this.

As I watched this with my daughter (who, wisely, was more concerned with playing with junk mail and my dog's chew toy) I cringed at the songs, winced at the "jokes", shook my head at the awful animation. Then came four words that explained everything: "Executive Producer - Lorne Michaels".

And suddenly, it all made sense.

The shame of this is that I like John Goodman, I like Jan Hooks and I even like Jonathan Winters. I sense they were trying their best to make chicken salad out of this. But their talents, were completely wasted here.

It is incredible to me that CBS insists on showing this garbage, every year, back-to-back with the original Frosty - a sublime classic. I get that CBS owns it, and consequently can make more cheddar by cramming this down our throats annually; but, then again, I own a pair of orange plaid bell bottoms and a 45 of Andy Gibb's "Shadow Dancing" and I'm not going to break them out for public consumption any time soon.

I spent 30 minutes watching this, and I'm never going to get those 30 minutes back. Watching replays of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, would have been more rewarding.

Avoid, avoid, AVOID!!!

-748/10