...and a really bad one! Man, I should have know that this movie was going to suck solely because of the fact that Andrew Stevens was in it. The man simply can't do any better than to "act" in those zillion erotic thrillers, B-movie style, he already starred in. As a matter of fact, RED BLOODED American GIRL looks and feels exactly like one of those movies. And this is supposed to be horror? Come on! There's no suspense, no thrills, no scary moments, no gore or bloodshed.
Still, there are two good things about this movie. I must say the initial idea (looking at vampirism as a virus that is passed from human to human by a bite, eating infected meat or a blood transfusion) was pretty interesting. Second good thing was the opening-shot: a top-shot of a beautiful babe lying on a bed with her boobies naked. So those two elements made me think that this movie might not be all that bad. But, unfortunately, after about twenty minutes all goes downhill fast and hits the sewers rapidly, only to never emerge from them.
Andrew Stevens (with glasses) plays Owen, a young scientist (can you believe that?) who receives an invitation he can not refuse. Dr. John Alcore (Christopher Plummer) asks him to come work at his (clandestine) facility. Turns out he's infected with the vampire-virus and in desperate need for a cure. Owen agrees, meets Paula at the facility, and falls in love with her. Paula gets infected too, escapes and flees into the city with a craving for blood. Maybe this all sounds interesting, but please, forget about it. This movie is just boring and laughably bad.
In the facility work only five men or so. Their fitness-monitoring room has only one home-trainer. The sets look cheap. Christopher Plummer is completely wasted on this movie and he doesn't seem to care he's in a pile of drivel. Andrew Stevens (with glasses!!!) is laughable and unbelievable as a scientist. He has a round-shaped king-size bed (with heavenly white sheets) in his working-room/laboratory (!) for the sole purpose of having sex in it. He has a normal bed upstairs in his room too, which is supposedly used to sleep in. And Heather Thomas (as Paula) looks like she might have (wrongfully) had ambition to become playmate of the year, but sadly got rejected or something and thereby had to star in an Andrew Stevens-movie. She can't really act (except for making funny faces when she's in need for blood) and looks really ugly when she has make-up on (that scene in the padded cell!). The scene where she was dancing in the kitchen to a ridiculous 80's song was plain idiotic.
So, yes, one might actually laugh a few times when seeing this movie, but it will definitely not be because of the very few attempts at comedy this movie makes. Those few so-called funny lines by some actors are totally misplaced... or maybe not, since this movie is laughably bad. But anyway, the little comedy in it, doesn't work. And then there's the fact that you just know that Owen and Paula will have their sex-scene in this movie (after all, this is an Andrew Stevens movie). But it doesn't happen for ages. And near the end of the movie it seemed like the director suddenly realized that he still had no sex-scene for the movie. So it is gratuitously presented to the viewer. Very funny that was. But perhaps the worst thing of this movie was the ending/conclusion. That was one of the lamest endings I've ever seen. Really, I'm not kidding, it was that bad and disappointing.
One crazy man here... ehrr, sorry, let me re-phrase that: one fellow-commentator here on IMDb actually claims that RED BLOODED American GIRL is on par with Ridley Scott's GLADIATOR and that RBAG even has more redeeming qualities! That's completely insane... impossible... I'm speechless. As much as I am not a big fan of GLADIATOR, I simply can not agree with that statement. Oh, well, to hell with it. This review is a warning for myself and for everybody else: stay away from movies that star Andrew Stevens in a leading roll!
