Scream Queen Hot Tub Party

This film gave the academy a new direction. It is a visually splendid piece of cinema verite' and has the distinction of being the only documentary in the Eye Candy Hall of Fame. Directed by two unknowns (who oddly enough are names in the Western, "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly") who definitely were apt pupils of the auteurs Wynorski and Olen Ray. This film features three members of the All-Century team who deserve the royalty status: the ever-so-lovely Brinke Stevens, the majestic beauty Michelle Bauer, and the luscious Monique Gabrielle. Like all masterpieces, there is a minor flaw in the casting. We here at the academy wish that Roxanne Kernohan and Kelli Maroney could have been traded for Linnea Quigley. This would have made the All-Century team complete and could boast of having the Fab Four in the credits. Nonetheless, Queen Stevens is an oustanding lecturer who could read the phone book and make it sound erotic (preferably by reading in the nude). Queen Bauer is a delight and could put VIAGRA out of business. Queen Gabrielle, while not a horror legend, has an impressive body... of work and may be responsible for global warming by her performance. All five together in the hot tub bring to mind the making of a fine beer: rich in character, robust, and full-bodied. This is proof there is order in the universe.