Vampires and Other Stereotypes

This mess -- now titled "Vampires and Other Stereotypes" -- is the best argument for taking video cameras out of the hands of incompetents before they hurt someone. Too late for me. I was one of the unfortunate few who picked up this dismal "vampire" flick, hoping to be entertained with 80 minutes of bloodsucking humor. Forgettaboudit! There's nary a vampire to be found until the last five minutes. Instead, you get an hour's worth of senseless gibberish about two New York yutzes standing guard over the gateway to Hell.

And the monsters, the demonic beings waiting to burst through the portal and enslave the people of Earth? Why, they're the worst leftovers from a cheap costume shop that I've ever seen. The only redeeming aspect to this antediluvian abortion is Wendy Bednarz, the blonde heroine of "There's Nothing Out There," a far better movie that was filmed on a much tighter shoestring. Too bad she's as totally wasted here as I was.