Blistering comments on IMDb are no surprise for this slapdash Bob Chinn/John C. Holmes movie, but I'm going to take it seriously for the record. I missed it theatrically in the '70s and was quite surprised at its odd content when finally watched on DVD.
Chinn is in any porn Hall of Fame, but it is clear from his work that the film student could have had an interesting underground film career instead. Not likely to be a major studio filmmaker, there are experimental elements in his work that link him to the respectable tradition of the Bruce Conners, Ed Emshwillers, et al.
This movie is merely an entry in the profitable "Johnny Wadd" series that Chinn began in 1971, reportedly (according to his recollection) making the first film for a negative cost of just $750. So cutting corners (apart from traveling to exotic locations) is the name of his game. Film ends just like a James Bond entry, with "watch for Johnny Wadd in LIQUID LIPS" as the final credit card.
This baby is set in Mexico and does benefit from the local color. But the crudity of the filming, and extreme hokeyness of the fight scenes (memorably lampooned in P.T. Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS) are laughable.
Holmes as private eye Johnny Wadd is in the middle of humping neophyte-to-porn Annette Haven (ethereally beautiful underneath too much eye makeup in this early, uncredited role) when a phone call from his cop buddy Sam Kelly (rather poorly played by the film's producer, Damian Christian -there's saving a buck for you) calls him down to Ensenada to help on a drug case. With Annette pleading, Wadd "relents" and finishes the sex scene with her before making the four hour drive south.
Bad guy is Tyler Horne as Travis Elliott, who has corrupted Sam's squeeze Doreen (Veronica Taylor), now a full-fledged drug addict. Sam & Johnny have some idiotic fights with henchmen (Chinn is clearly enamored of stunt work but never mastered competency in this area), but film's content is mainly about sex.
Highlight for me was his dalliance with a sultry Mexican girl Juanita, very well played by my favorite Joan Devlon. She is sensual and exotic here under tons of makeup, and an effective contrast to her usual patrician, demure look. Also taking sexual honors is one-shot Felecia Sanda, a Latin beauty Holmes services, who is a forerunner of 21st Century porn star Havana Ginger.
In the principal role of Doreen, Veronica Taylor left me cold. She was adequate performing opposite Devlon in the excellent LACEY BODINE film, but I don't think she is attractive. Of course, when you co-star with all-time beauties Devlon and Haven, it's tough competition.
By the time TELL THEM JOHNNY WADD IS HERE was released in 1976, I had already collected over 70 Ennio Morricone soundtrack (plus compilation) LPs, so I would have got a tremendous kick attending the movie theatrically and hearing an hour of EM's music carefully selected (and pirated) by Chinn. He went mainly for romantic passages from the Westerns, primarily ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, DUCK YOU SUCKER and of course THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY. The effect of watching a sensual b.j. by Annette Haven or Joan Devlon on Holmes' limp but lengthy member to the tune of a romantic Morricone theme that conjures up Claudia Cardinale is a unique experience, comparable to the classic juxtapositions Bruce Conner achieved in MARILYN TIMES FIVE or BREAKAWAY. To say I had mixed feelings watching this is an understatement.
Holmes' narration tries to put a noir patina on the film, but does result in a very strange, ironic ending. Chinn presents quite lovely beach vistas of the surf rolling in and sun setting to end the film serenely, but Holmes is voicing over a lengthy lament on the horrors and perils of drug addiction, heroin specifically, in regard to the character Doreen in the film. Given his own life history, this 1976 content is horribly prophetic.
