Firetrap

This terrible action movie will try the patience of anyone who's not in a coma. I don't know if I have some sort of problem with Dean Cain, but any film I've seen him in has turned about to be really boring. Firetrap is no exception. Despite the premise, it took four attempts to get through this film without falling asleep.

Dean is a thief out on one last job – to get a disc from a building that's gone on fire while he's in it for some reason. Trapped with some other survivors, and pretending he's a cop, Dean must get the disc, escape, and probably help some other people get out too if he has the time. His token black sidekick is waiting outside in a van for him, although that hardly needs to be pointed out as there's always someone waiting in a van somewhere for people in these kinds of films (it helps break up the monotony of watching folks bickering all the time).

In a case of how to do this kind of film wrong, everything in this film is done wrong. There's no real drama outside of the burning building. Folks bicker, Dean gets found out, and someone in the building isn't quite who they appear to be. Try staying awake to the end if you dare, because this is one bland film with a predictable plot line. It's the film equivalent of a Dutch crisp bake.