L.A.P.D.: To Protect and to Serve

Rent this film...now! This is ineptness at its most sublime, a turd of a straight-to-video flick that is so bad you'll swear the filmmakers tried to make it as crappy as possible. The box cover shows Dennis Hopper (who is in the "film" for about 5 minutes...he must have needed some money...bad) and Michael Madsen (who wears a police shirt far too small for him...I guess they couldn't afford a plus-size cop shirt from the local surplus) and completely ignores the two lead actors. There's some plotline about corrupt cops and such but who cares? Just sit back and laugh at: The big old fat dude getting "hit" in the face with the stock of a shotgun (despite the fact that the gun is about ten feet away from the guy), the old homeless dude getting hit by a car while "sad" music plays on the soundtrack (isn't there a better way to kill someone?), Michael Madsen swinging his arms around rapidly whenever he talks (you know when someone tucks their arms behind their back and someone behind them does overdone hand motions trying to simulate the movements of their arms? That's what this looks like to the tenth degree) and finally (and this is the best part!) the police officer having the wildest orgasms ever (I swear this guy overdoes his orgasms more than any porn actress I've ever seen...I mean the way the guy's face contorts and distorts he looks like someone's knifing him in the back...and all this while his lover just sits there...seemingly bored).

Anycrap, if you love bad films see this one. It'll be some of the best fun you've ever had in your short life.