Glue

If you enjoy the beauty of well-crafted post-production visual effects lulling you to a hypnotic stupor, then this is the undemanding film for you. If not, you could also catch up on your email while pretending to watch it. Either way, you know that a talented After Effects artist made a day-rate to slap on all the aesthetic milestones of the late 90s - from jittery faux 8MM to film burn, dust and plenty of noise.

As if spawn from Gus Van Sant's forehead, this movie follows attractive faux-teens around as they awkwardly attempt to converse through unscripted dialogue. On the plus side, all of these 20-somethings are talented actors, and they push through this sorry morass of nothing like knives through hot, buttery glue. On the other hand, like sailing through a sea of mucilaginous kreplach, it takes just short of forever to putter through to something like a narrative conclusion. But make no mistake - the termination of what passes for a story in "Glue" is not a climax, but more of a but an exhausted collapse. With little in the way of dialogue to pollute the vacuum of story in this movie, it's a wonder any of the actors didn't fall to its toxic tediousness.