When it comes to low budget and no-budget movies, you get a range from surprisingly good to the completely abysmal, with a display more disappointing than the fat kid in gym trying to climb the rope. "Living Dead Lock Up 2: March of the Dead" -- which has an excessively unwieldy name -- makes the fat kid look good.
I had some hopes in the beginning -- a preview for something called "Rebirth of Lucretia" looked promising, and the drive-in theater animations to kick off the film showed a strong sense of fun, even if they were possibly obtained illegally. (Then again, public domain covers some strange things.) But once the movie started, it was already over... the first five minutes were so bad, it made me not even want to give the film a second or third chance. Poor video quality, horrible -- and I mean horrible -- writing, with nothing about the acting that would be considered high school drama club material. The crudeness stood out like a seven-foot tall member of the Lollipop Guild.
The film had too many establishing shots, with some clips thrown in for no other reason than so we knew where the next scene was taking place. If the film was done decently we should have been able to figure out where we were supposed to be. (I don't need an ambulance parked in a garage to tell me what a hospital looks like.) There's a jagged, uneven plot, a prison convict with a baby face (who looks even sillier when there's a flashback to him fighting the much tougher black dude). I could have used a sound stage, or at least an area where voices actually reach the camera's microphone. At least my ears didn't have to suffer alone... my eyes had pity on them.
The hospital scenes looked like a green screen, there was a need for more hot chicks, and the zombie blood was really, really bad. The trivia section of IMDb says "Due to the reality of the prosthetics and make-up, nearby passersby would halt shooting by standing and staring at the actors." Believe me, no one was convinced by this -- even Ray Charles would have noticed how atrociously bad these effects were.
There's no reason to ever see this film, and if you ever do you probably won't make it longer than ten minutes before you're driven irreversibly insane. I warned you, and I know what I'm talking about. Thanks but no thanks on "Living Dead Lock Up 2".
