Wet Heat

Not to say I have a thing for action spoofs, or even regular action movies, for that matter. I've never even seen Escape From New York, which is mainly what's being spoofed here. My obsession lies within the world of B-cinema, and most recently, the films of Chris Seaver. These hour-long, shot-in-2-days, LBP Z-Horror-comedies would most likely, rub most people the wrong way, as they are overly-silly, shamelessly spoofish, delightfully vulgar, and have inside jokes coming from every direction. Even my first LBP experience (Terror At Blood Fart Lake) was not a good one, as I found this movie to be irritating, and obnoxious beyond words. As it would turn out, I was wrong. There was far, far more to it than wacky voices and stupid hair. Terror At Blood Fart Lake is in fact a masterpiece, and Chris Seaver is in fact a genius. It only took 10 or so more viewings to reach my sweet clarity. And wouldn't you know it, There are dozens more of Chris Seaver movies out there, just waiting to be discovered. I never imagined life could be this grand. B-movie collecting just became fun again!!

Our hero, Teenape is back, and not five minutes into the movie, and this walking lack of continuity has already landed himself in jail. Luckily, the government is in a jam, and once again, they come running to Teenape, to save the day. The president of show business has been kidnapped by La Femme La Douche. That's right, the one guy who makes all the decisions on which Hollywood films get made and released, has been captured by a really bad knockoff of Frank-n-Furter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Well, no problem, says Teenape. If he succeeds, Teenape is a free Ape. Not a whole lot of action, but a lot for LBP. Mostly a bunch spoofing, and cheesy fx. Well, that and more pricelessly hysterical dialog from Casey Bowker, Meredith Host, Jesse Ames, Josh Suire, the Indovinas, and the legendary Billy Garberina. For something so completely low budget, Wet Heat turns out to be something quite remarkable. Definitely LBP's greatest accomplishment (on a quality level) to date.

Either you get the joke or you don't. If you're down with Troma, and similar cult cinema, then chances are high, you'll get the joke. But perhaps not right away. Hollywood has far too many of us fooled into believing that things like acting, continuity, and even lighting matters, and that we're supposed to watch movies to be impressed, as opposed to being entertained. Seaver & friends have proved that worthwhile entertainment can be accomplished for under $80 Million. All Mr. Seaver needs is a free weekend, a location, and handful of people willing to work for free, and I've got a new favorite movie, which puts me in a teary-eyed stupor, every single time. Seriously, this is good stuff. While listening to Seavers Wet Heat commentary, I couldn't help noticing how many times he insisted that this will be Teenape's final role. With that said, I am ecstatic to announce that sometime in 2010, the Troma team will be releasing Teenape vs. The Monster Nazi Apocalypse. An epic featuring the return of LBP alumni, such as Mulva (2), Bubbles, Deathbone, and even our pal, Choach. I sincerely hope this one lasts over an hour. As for Wet Heat, Independent film-making doesn't get more entertaining than this. Passionately recommended. 10/10