So... Where on earth to start.
The film is on the level of most first year film students... the bad ones...
- Acting: Ugh... imagine you got a bunch of stoners together to act when they were completely baked out of their minds.
- Script: I've read better children's picture books. Half the time the sentences don't even make sense and the other half, due to poor use of intonation, something that SHOULD have made sense... suddenly doesn't.
- Lighting: Non-Existent. Unless it's the flashlight. But i still don't think that counts.
- Camera-work: Hmmm... you know in this day and age it's not THAT expensive to buy a Go-Pro etc. It was clearly filmed on a cam-corder - something you can see in the reflection of windows in almost every shot. This is why the car's windows are wound eternally down in almost every scene.
- Editing: Geez, don't get me started. Effects remaining across cuts, re-using scenes and there's SO MANY bad edits as the film progresses. There is the dreaded "black frame" of a failed edit point on many occasions - Seriously, the news can get it right every day of the year, yet they couldn't get it right for a one off release. This is the sort of most BASIC mistakes you'd be warned about in the first month of media class in high school
clearly the editor dropped out before said lesson.
- Continuity: Forget it. Don't even try. It just doesn't work. In one scene she's trying to open the door to the Jeep but can't. They move the shot inside the car to show her looking at the door which is CLEARLY UNLOCKED. You can see the old school locking bolt standing tall - like a defiant middle finger to the director.
- Music: Score was pretty good... for something that was probably downloaded for free in a highly compressed format. There was simply no consistency to the tracks or on how they were used. It also just wasn't used at the right times, such as a violin track used for about 15 seconds of exposition and then used again for a death scene. Most of the time it seems like someone put the soundtrack on shuffle, went "Yup that'll do" and then proceeded to turn the volume up and down at random intervals.
- Effects: now THIS is the big one. WHY OH WHY do you need THREE DIFFERENT DINOSAUR MODELS??? The first one was rubbish and the next 2 are even WORSE. It's completely pointless! At the end of the film it seems like the actor is fighting off 3 entirely different fake dinosaurs - and all of them are worse quality than what you'd find in a box of cereal. I honestly could have created better visual effects for them with a toy T-Rex and a piece of GREEN CARD... And this was outsourced to a company...
Oh and watch for the bit where they stretch the dinosaur overlay so it's "facing the right way" *Director Hint: It's still not* and then forget to remove it for the next transition so suddenly the dinosaur is staring at it's own tail for a minute.
*Sigh* I honestly can't go on.
FINAL THOUGHTS: All I can say is this film's ONLY PURPOSE TO EXIST, is to make Tommy Wiseau's "The Room" look like an Oscar Contender for Best Picture.
This is a Polonia Brothers film ... number 40-something. How the hell do they keep getting them published with mistakes a high schooler could fix in a matter of an hour?
If you enjoyed this, it might be worth getting your eyes checked... or coming down from whatever you're on. I'd say watch it again sober, but it wouldn't make the pile of excrement any better.
You know what they say - "you can polish a turd, but it's still a turd... and now you're still holding it in your hand."
For more bad acting, poor scripts and silly effects check out "Solid State". It's just as bad but they actually hired an editor and it's in Italy... so I guess that's nice. Oh and that turd has sprinkles.
