Slumlord

To say this movie is garbage would be an insult to garbage. I've watched pieces of rotting banana peels that have a more thought out plot and better written script. Every character in the movie has the IQ of a lobotomized turnip. The director was likely Kim Jong Un using an alias, who realized that unleashing this piece of crap on the world would cause more long term devastation than simply nuking us.

If you're considering watching this, I recommend getting a large tub of ice cream, swallowing it as fast as possible, and enjoying the brain freeze instead. Your head will be better off.

... Apparently I still need a few lines of text in order to submit this review, so I'm going to make a list of things that are better than watching this movie: - Small paper cuts - Having a little bit of nail hanging out that keeps getting caught on things - Being asked "Why are you so quiet?!?" - People walking in front of you then stopping spontaneously to check their phones - Writing reviews about how awful this movie was