Nine Men

Sergeant Jack Lambert (Sergeant Watson) recounts a personal story to his new recruits who are crying out for action at a British army training camp. His story concerns an occasion when he was isolated in the African desert in a unit of 9 men. They stumbled across a small derelict shelter during a sand storm and, from this location, they held off against Italian troops who came calling.

Lambert is trying to instil a British mentality that gives a little bit extra and that is conveyed by the phrase "umpetty poo", which itself is a terribly unfunny reworking of the French "un petit peu". It sounds similar once it is pointed out to you but it really is quite desperate and unimaginative. Still, Lambert does prove himself in the imagination department as his story is clearly made up. Those 9 guys would be dead in reality.

The Italians are portrayed as wine-loving cowards and we get to see them running away on a few occasions as our British troops whoop like girls pretending to be larger in number than 9. It's just too much for the Italians – "whoop" "whoop". The film is OK as it goes but there is something lacking.