Drácula contra Frankenstein

A creepy castle; rubber bats on string; hot women; stock sound effects*; crash zooms; out of focus shots; extreme close-ups of eyes. Be warned... with Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein, we're not just in vampire territory - we're in Jess Franco territory as well, which is not for the faint-hearted. Those who venture forth will face a nonsensical story, erratic pacing, and a general feeling that no-one involved really knew what was going on.

The film begins as Doctor Jonathan Seward (Alberto Dalbés) tracks down Dracula (Howard Vernon, employing the one expression throughout the entire film) and despatches the vampire using a teeny tiny travel hammer and stake, small enough to fit neatly in one's hand luggage. Dracula transforms into a little dead bat, but is rescued by Doctor Frankenstein (Dennis Price), who, assisted by scarred mute Morpho (Luis Barboo) and his loyal monster (Fernando Bilbao, sporting truly awful make-up), is able to revive the flying mammal by soaking it in the blood of a sexy bar singer (Josyane Gibert).

With Dracula in his power, Frankenstein sets about assembling an army of obedient vampires, including Doctor Seward's voluptuous patient Maria (Paca Gabaldón). Seward attempts to stop the megalomaniacal scientist and his unholy army with a little help from a band of gypsies, a jealous female vampire (Carmen Yazalde) and, in the film's chaotic finalé, a wolfman (Brandy, whose monster make-up is even worse than Bilbao's).

Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein sees Franco at his laziest, the director chucking in everything but the kitchen sink with little regard for logic. Of course, this totally haphazard approach and the sheer silliness of proceedings will no doubt hold some appeal for fans of schlock Euro-horror and avid Franco fans, but those unaccustomed to the Spanish director's 'style' will more than likely struggle with the general slipshod nature of the movie.

4/10. Very little in the way of gore and nekkidness - just a little blood and some 'cheesecake' (the lack of nudity is especially surprising given it's a Franco flick).

*We never actually see that bloody peacock!!!