Comando Patos Salvajes

Antonio Margheriti (that's the linguine Anthony Dawson) directs this in-name only second sequel to "The Wild Geese", with ex-Professionals' Lewis Collins as the indomitable Commander Robin Wesley (a very masculine sounding name befitting the tough guy profile), and his band of rag-tag mercenaries as they venture into the jungles of Borneo or thereabouts for a supposedly benign mission to bust an opium operation. But the evil, double crossing Charleton (crazy-eyed Kinski) is playing both sides, and the group find themselves taking refuge in a mission with language assistance from expatriate American (Farmer) as they search for an escape route.

Glorious colour tones, stylish costumes and jazzy synthesisers give this jungle war opus the Armani makeover that was en vogue at the time. Collins' suave sophistication and stiff upper lip as he delivers painfully awkward dialogue is so artificial, it's cringe worthy. Ernest Borgnine looks sedated in his brief cameo, while Kinski, conversely, is so over the top, he's hilarious. Only Van Cleef offers some restraint, but he's a passenger. The set designers, special effects crew and pyrotechnic personnel showed flair with their multitude of explosions, and the bodies blown apart in gory detail give it that Euro-trash touch you've come to expect.

But while the action sequences are fluent and well constructed, and the general gist of the film is easy to follow, there's still an awful lot of stilted dialogue and overly intense acting. Perhaps as a box set with its younger siblings, this could be a cool if somewhat hokey trilogy. Nice try, but in spite of Collins' penchant for smoking stogies, no cigar.