Dear Charles,
I sure hope you were well-paid for this toe-curlingly awful vanity project. Not yours, of course. No man could possibly be vain and appear in dreck like this.
Your performance was perfect, of course. You convincingly embodied the romantic intellectual. You made it very easy to believe in Gerry's fascination with Shirley.
I've got to give you lots of respect: clearly, as an artist you're willing to take on risk. You've done (what must be unpleasant) work in order to fulfill your responsibilities as a husband and father. You've consistently delivered top-quality performances in the most unworthy projects. And in addition to all that, I've never seen or heard you even once complain or disparage anyone.
But Charles, even my love isn't enough to withstand watching "Out on a Limb." Taking most excellent advice from another of your pictures,* I decided to leave off watching after fifteen minutes. It is better to preserve my love for you than immolate it in service of checking off another item on your c.v.
Yours affectionately,
Oloiatao
*Dorothy: I believe in love. Not just getting it, but giving it. I think that if you're able to love someone, even if they don't know it, even if they can't love you back, then it's worth it. (Gosford Park)
