The Bronx Executioner is truly an hypnotic experience. There is something mesmerising about the film's sheer lack of plot, continuity and credibility. Viewers searching for an intelligent sci-fi thriller should look elsewhere. However, if you enjoy car crash cinema, then this is the film for you! One of the most charming things about this movie is the fact that it is entirely unapologetic about making absolutely no sense.
This is signalled from the very first sequence in which an ancient looking computer bleeps. For about 2 minutes. From there we get a confusing voice-over about a trainee sheriff, James, and warring humanoids and androids. Before you can say, "what the?", our stony faced trainee has been given a sheriff's badge - after completing an obstacle course and doing a few chin-ups.
The film then shifts almost entirely away from James, to the leader of the humanoids, Dakar. Dakar spends most of the film driving around in his jeep, screaming incoherently into his walkie talkie. When Dakar realises that Margie is behind the rape and murder of his girlfriend, he finally puts the damn walkie talkie away and joins forces with James to bring Margie down.
The characters of Dakar and Margie are truly hilarious. Dakar looks like a WWE escapee, while Margie runs around in a red leather dress and at one stage sports a truly fetching peroxide blonde mullet. Both actors are fabulously awful. In all fairness, lines like "the only thing I love is death" and "why do those damn androids hate us so much?" really didn't give them much to work with.
Other moments or jaw dropping incompetence include the rape of Dakar's girlfriend, who is apparently violated in 5 seconds while fully clothed and a sub-plot involving killer dogs and green lights on a computer monitor that makes no sense whatsoever.
This film is definitely not for everyone, but fans of camp 80s Euro-action films or car crash cinema could do a lot worse than spending 90 minutes of their time on "The Bronx Executioner".
