Nearest and Dearest

[the Pledges survey their parents' grave]

Nellie Pledge: There's room for us two in there, y'know. Are you coming in?

Eli Pledge: I'm not going down there. When I die I'm donating my body to medical science.

Nellie Pledge: Oh, that's very nice, isn't it? And what about on the day of adjudication when Gabriel sounds his horn - where will you be, eh? Scattered all over the infirmary in jam-jars. You'll be better off in there with us.

Eli Pledge: [Eli sees Lily and Walter approaching] Hello, here they are - Burke and Hare.

Nellie Pledge: Oh, you got here at last then, our Lily? You've only just missed him.

[She regards Walter]

Nellie Pledge: Oh - has he been?

[Walter looks puzzled]

Nellie Pledge: I think he's been.

Lily Tattersall: Took him a right long time to find it.

Eli Pledge: I'll bet it did.

Nellie Pledge: I suppose you'd like to throw some soil at him, would you Walter?

[Walter nods]

Nellie Pledge: Alright then.

[Walter grabs a handful of soil and throws it in Eli's face]

Eli Pledge: Not me, cloghead!

[Points into grave]

Eli Pledge: Him!

Lily Tattersall: He's been right looking forward to coming here today.

Nellie Pledge: Yeah well, it'll be nice day out for him, won't it?

Eli Pledge: By t'look of him, it's hardly worthwhile him going home.