El padrino

I'm not sure when I last saw a film as spectacularly crap as "El Padrino". I'm also not sure when I last laughed so hard or had so much fun. It's for exactly these reasons that I'm giving this film 10/10. "El Padrino" is bad film-making of the highest order and truly belongs in the crap hall of fame. Damian Chapa - I salute you! It's hard to pinpoint exactly why this film transcends its own pomposity to become a hugely entertaining, so-bad-it's-good masterpiece. But I think most of the credit lies with the casting of Jennifer Tilly as Sebeva. Jennifer Tilly is one of my favourite actresses. This woman has it all: looks, talent and obviously a fantastic sense of humour. That's the only reason I can think of why a classy lady of Asian heritage (one of Jennifer's parents is Chinese) in her 40s would choose the role of a young, drug-running Columbian prostitute.

The character of Sebeva really has to be seen to be believed. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I first saw Jennifer dolled up like a Latina drag queen on crack but Sebeva's wardrobe is nothing in comparison to her appalling dialogue and Jennifer's tremendous over-acting. Just when I thought it couldn't possible get any better, Sebeva would say something like "I may be a whore, but I'm a loyal bitch" or roll around on a table in, what I assume is meant to be, an erotic manner. I also defy anyone with even the slightest knowledge of the Spanish language not to fall on the floor laughing when Sebeva comments en Espagnol, complete with Jennifer Tilly's breathy, American accent.

Apart from Sebeva, this film has a couple of interesting action sequences and a completely ludicrous serial killer subplot to pad out the rather dull father/son drug dealer scenario. After working over the drug cartels with this epic, it seems Damian Chapa's next opus will tackle the IRA. I, for one, can hardly wait!