Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Coming Out of Their Shells Tour

Sorry, no offense to all those TMNT fans out there and the kids who were five when they first saw this, but this has got to be one of the gayest children's programs I have ever seen, right up there with 'Creating Rem Lazar' and 'Sigmund and the Sea Monsters'.

And please, before anyone gets offended, let me clarify that I'm not using the term 'gay' here the way Eminem does, that is meaning 'lame,' 'stupid,' 'uncool,' etc. In other words not in the derogatory, homophobic, 8th- grader's slur of choice sense.

No, I mean 'gay' as in filled with homo-erotic imagery (watch how many shots there are in the opening crew-setting-up montage of muscular roadies' arms and backs), dance routines so effeminate and mincing they make George Balanchine look like Gene Kelly, a villain who references show tunes, and more bulging codpieces than a Chippendales show.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.