When I sat down to watch the 2022 movie "Jurassic Island" from writers Dominic Ellis and Tom Jolliffe, I have to admit that I wasn't expecting anything at all. I mean, the title alone was a clear and present indicator of this being one of those particularly bad low budget movies.
Yet, I opted to watch the movie on the account of it being a movie that I hadn't already seen, and perhaps there was a snowball's chance in Hell that director Dominic Nutter would surprise with a great movie.
Needless to say that director Dominic Nutter didn't surprise with a good movie. Nay, "Jurassic Island" was every bit as bad as I had expected it to be, and then some.
The storyline here was just sheer and utter rubbish. I mean, an uncharted and undiscovered island upon where there were dinosaurs living and inhabiting? Yeah, maybe if the year was 1950. But seriously, how could writers Dominic Ellis and Tom Jolliffe hope to pass this for an acceptable and worthwhile storyline? And when the characters do make it to the island and find the camp, you can see a roof of a building on the opposite shore of the water. Wasn't this an uninhabited and undiscovered island? The whole concept of the storyline felt like something that was concocted by a pre-schooler.
Then there were the laughably poorly animated CGI dinosaurs that seemed to have managed to escape from an 1990s computer game. I wasn't expecting any grand CGI extravaganza here in "Jurassic Island", but the rendering of these dinosaurs were just spectacularly bad. The special effects in this movie were such an eyesore that even a blind dinosaur would stop up dead in its track and go "say what?!"
I also have to mention that the blood splatter effects in the movie were just beyond atrocious. In fact, they were so bad that you can't help but topple over laughing when you see it.
And if highly questionable CGI dinosaurs wasn't enough, then the uninhabited island also have green leeches that will turn anyone bitten into ravenous flesh-eating zombie-like creatures. Yeah, that's right. You read that right. I know, it is just dumb beyond belief. But hey, maybe there is a promising role-playing game waiting to be made here; Dinosaurs & Zombies.
The acting performances in the movie were dubious at best. It amazes me that in 2022 actors and actresses still agree to participate in questionable movie projects such as "Jurassic Island".
I knew that director Dominic Nutter's 2022 movie was going to be bad, I just didn't figure it would be this much of a stinker. Yet, I managed to endure the movie to the end. Does that mean I win some sort of prize?
My rating of "Jurassic Island" lands on a well-deserved one out of ten stars.
