Based on Madame Web's woeful reviews I was expecting this film to be an utter car crash. To its credit I will say it isn't entirely without merit, but it is incredibly boring and bland.
Mostly this is because nothing particularly happens. It's a superhero movie with little to no superhero action and a painfully long set up for an underwhelming final act. The characters are so underdeveloped that there is no emotional connection or investment in any of them. Everything about the story and writing just feels lazy, vacuous and corny.
Then there's the villain who is utterly uninspiring. He is constantly complaining about 'everything he has built' being destroyed. What has he built you might ask? The film has no interest in exploring this question. He's easily one of the more two dimensional and weak superhero villains I've ever seen committed to screen.
Perhaps the most heinous crime this movie commits is to waste the talents of Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Adam Scott, Emma Roberts, Zosia Mamet and more. Such a good cast was assembled and they were given absolutely nothing to work with, so I don't blame the performers. It's just such a shame to see such great talent put to the sword like this.
As if all of this wasn't enough, the movie also feels remarkably low budget and feels excruciatingly long despite its relatively short runtime.
Ultimately I think this film suffered because it was clearly intended as a set up for a wider Spider-Woman franchise which is unlikely to come to fruition. There seemed to be no interest in making a good stand alone movie, and no respect for the audience. A massive waste of time.
