Witch of the Woods

Meets all the criteria of a movie in that there is both visuals and audio to observe in a narrative format.

The intro is fairly exciting, suffers from 1 point lighting and overly tight shots. Some decent eye-related special effects, and a lot of Season 1 TNG camera shake.

After a too long credit scene, the movie pops off:

Act 1 has everything: leather jacket, radio Dj when the car is off, Troy Forman, the shadow of the boom, a flirtatious diner worker, and a lot of day for night, burnt rice, and jogging in a graveyard.

At least he has a good relationship with his dad.

Act 2 has everything: B&L Hardware, budget Keenan Thompson, Crampbark, Querioo, reading a common knowledge Wikipedia article outloud, actual night shots, complimentary bed and breakfast GUN, an accurate depiction of local police, flannel day, Lockpick Level 100.

Hasn't called his dad in a while.

Act 3 has everything: not reading the instructions, an exposition laden Word document, 1930s music, exploding furniture, red filter in post, a single scary shot with a glove. Jogging in a different graveyard.

Still no call to dad.

The Finale has everything: a church near a train tunnel, an overly complex riddle, hot fishy ass, blue filter in post, exactly one jump-scare, speech-induced crickets, Menards lawn angel, a personal sacrifice of hand ketchup, a nonsensical ending.

Probably shouldn't have eaten that Thai Bowl.