La pharmacienne

Attributed to a team of directors (Les Comperes) instead of just one, The Pharmacist is a rather silly French porn offering from Marc Dorcel. It lacks the fake dramatics of most of his releases, instead playing with the depth of a series of ancient stag films, you know, like Santa coming down the chimney and getting humped, or sex with the plumber under the sink.

The hook is the local drug store, where lovely French Oriental star Sharon Lee assumes the title role. Opening segment is typical of the mindless scenario (no writer credited, natch): Ian Scott is a customer who requests extra extra large condoms, not being boastful, just that's what he needs. Sharon, who likes to confide intimately to the viewer, decides to use her old dodge on this sort of impertinent request, and asks him if he needs to try one on first. He complains he isn't hard - can she help him with that?

This of course leads to her humping him then and there in the shop. Why this leads to anal sex is obvious - we're watching a European porn video where anal is always mandatory.

Next segment is even cornier: a nudist has been bitten by some insect on his dick and it's swelling up. (Where's Ralph Bakshi of animated "Fritz the Cat" fame now that we need him?)

His nudist wife calls Sharon at the pharmacy for advice on what to do, and she tells her to suck out the poison. The lady is rewarded with another dick in the butt routine.

Two more vignettes follow the same pattern, with the male pharmacist getting into the act with a female customer. It all adds up to typical smut -even with a French accent this is as lowbrow as a Louis de Funes comedy.