Honey, It Started with a Footjob

Barrett Blade scores points for getting his cast revved up for stimulating sex footage, even though his direction of the set-up scenes (written by Lucy J, staff writer for producer Bree Mills) is lousy. I was won over, unlike my reaction to most of his lazy videos.

Title refers to a two-parter (out of five total scenes, running under 2 hours compared to the often 3-hour duration when Bree has her partner Alan on the job) starring Blair Williams and Alix Lynx. Blair and Eric Masterson provide massages, and the setting looks suspiciously like the interior of porn's favorite location, the "Immoral Proposal" mansion, with the spiral staircase in the background.

Lynx, with her big boobs on a small frame, is quite effective for the most part staying in character as Eric does his tired bamboozle-the-babe-into sex routine (from dozens of Mills/Blade's "Tricky Spa" videos) to get her to have sex with him at the massage table. As per the title, it starts off with coaxing a foot job and leads to full humping, only to be caught in the act by Lynx's hubby Ryan McLane.

In the followup scene, masseuse Williams seduces McLane and Lynx catches them on the couch going at it, only to join in for a hot threesome.

Most arousing scene IMHO has huge-fake-bust Richelle Ryan massaged by Mr. Tattoo himself, Derrick Pierce, and her oiled body and boobs are quite a sight to behold. She also adds quailty big-butt action to the show.

Derrick returns in a horrible sketch starring alluring-nipples gal Jessica Ryan, whose resemblance to Lana Rhoades has given her a foothold into the industry. A very creepy guy (with ugly teeth) named "Tarantino XXX" lives up to the sleaziness of his namesake by giving wife Jessica a present of role-playing. He has Derrick impersonate himself while wife Ryan is blindfolded and supposedly she thinks Derrick's voice is her husband's as she oils her up and humps her.

She figures it out when the blindfold is removed, but digs sex with Derrick anyway, cuckolding her voyeur hubby who has conveninently been tied up by hired hand Pierce. Color grading in this scene is off, and gives the explicit groin footage that meat-market look of a faded old 16mm or 35mm '70s porn film print.

Blair Williams returns as a masseuse again giving Anya Olsen the works in a stupid sketch involving Aaron Wilcoxxx as first a voyeur and then a 3-way participant. It's the sort of filler that I assume the lion's share of Bree's website clientele simply avoid (by selection) but which we Oldtimers addicted to watching Adult content on DVDs have to suffer through.