The Nine Ages of Nakedness

I'm not surprised that THE NINE AGES OF NAKEDNESS has garnered no reviews on this site so far because it really is a rubbishy little film. It's far worse than the dated but mildly diverting nudie flicks that George Harrison Marks was making at the beginning of the decade like NAKED AS NATURE INTENDED; essentially it's a series of vignettes about the sexual relations between men and women through the ages, with little more than that.

The problem with this film? Everything! The production values are poor, the costumes and sets look cheap, and there's no discernible script. I had no idea if I was supposed to be watching a comedy because I didn't laugh once. Noticeably bad are the male performers, whose outrageous mugging really is awful - one of the worst is Marks himself, appearing throughout the production in ill-conceived cameos. What inspired Charles Gray to provide the occasional narration for this is anyone's guess, but all I can say is that it must have had lots of 0s on the end.

While it's fair to say that THE NINE AGES OF NAKEDNESS does contain a number of young actresses who willingly strip for the screen, this titillation does in no way, shape, or form amount to what could possibly be described as entertainment - which is why this film is rightly forgotten even by fans of the era's sexploitation.