Le tue mani sul mio corpo

Andrea (Lino Capolicchio) is an irritatingly enigmatic loafer still living at home with his wealthy publisher father in a secluded seaside villa and Mirielle, his dad's hot-to-trot trophy wife, is sexually attracted to him but he's more interested in her best friend Carol. When he's not surreptitiously filming Carol's sexual dalliances, he teases and spies on Mirielle, fixates on his dead mother, and idolizes Marilyn Monroe -but whenever it looks like he may have to make love, the moody man-child avoids the issue. What's his problem?

A pointless, meandering movie is the problem and the self-consciously arty attitude on display only makes it worse. There's little ado about nothing and the murder in the last five minutes is the only thing that reely happens -but it definitely isn't worth waiting for if you can actually stay awake that long. This uninvolving Eurotrash is aimless at best and the hint of latent homosexuality isn't nearly enough to explain Andrea's idiotic behavior -even B-List Eurobabes Erna Schürer (DEPORTED WOMEN OF THE SS SPECIAL SECTION '76) and Colette Descombes (ORGASMO '69) in and out of colorful 70s fashions can't save it. The opening credits have Sergio Martino as doing something or other but the IMDb credits list some other Martino. Either way, there'll be no re-watch for me. This has been a public service announcement because I wouldn't want your disappointment on my conscience.