TITanic 2000: Vampire of the Titanic

A few years ago I came across this extremely soft-porn film on eBay, while looking for theme gifts for the musical director (a very religious woman) of our community-theatre version of Broadway's "Titanic: The Musical." Naturally, I had to watch at least part of the video (originally titled "TITanic 2000") before giving it to her (lots of fraud on eBay these days). I still find it difficult to believe that this "film" (giving it the benefit of the doubt) was ever made. Suffice it to say that every piece of hard porn, soft porn, mindless violence, mass-produced kiddie animation, carpet sweepings, 10-week-old popcorn, doggie poop and anything else in your local video store is vastly superior to this (with the exception of James Cameron's "Titanic").

But do I consider my purchase a waste? Not at all!! Since that first year, the presentation of "Titanic 2000" to the most -- ahem -- DESERVING member of the orchestra has become a valued tradition. Every honoured recipient so far has vigorously denied even opening the case, but there sure were a lot of fingerprints on the disc when it was returned to me yesterday, ready for this year's ceremony.

Jealous of all the fun we have, down in the dark of the orchestra pit? We still need a harpist and a bassoonist. Drop me a note!