Hi and welcome to my review of The Crypt Of Dark Secrets.
The story gets a 0.25 out of 2:
Even though Irwin Blanche and Jack Weis have an adequate story concept, their structuring and character construction leaves a lot to be desired. The story is all over the place. The Sheriff already believes in the supernatural and has demanded a professor look into a local spirit, Damballa, for no reason. Then off they go to the haunted island, again for no tangible reason. As for the characters, these are pretty two-dimensional, and their dialogue may injure your ears as it's downright dreadful. One of the gravest things is there's no damned crypt anywhere in sight.
The Direction and Pace receive a 0 out of 4:
Now, this may be a bit harsh because Jack Weiss' cinematography isn't that terrible. However, it's the dreadful cutting and horrendous performances that null and voids the sole evidence of talent on show.
The Acting gets a 0.25 out of 2:
Thanks to the writing, the characterisations are two-dimensional, though this doesn't stop the actors and actresses from trying their hardest to assign them one-dimensionality. And, I'll be blowed, they practically accomplish it. The rating is for Herbert Jahncke, who plays Sheriff Buck. This guy is the radiant light in the darkness. And for Maureen Ridley and her naked dancing. This lady sure can grind. Shame she's the worst actress I've ever witnessed.
And, my Enjoyment level scores a 0.25 out of 2:
This rating, once again, is for both Jahncke and Ridley and their respective talents. Usually, I disagree with the way directors use older people to play teenagers. Fantastically, in Crypt, Weiss reverses this element. The old voodoo woman is played by a young twenty-something tolerating one of the worst grey wigs you'll ever see. Now, this is garbage at its worst, but there's something enormously enjoyable about it at the same time. While I was shaking my head, I was giggling. Oh, yeah, and the end of the film: I experienced such relief when the end credits rolled.
Giving The Crypt Of Dark Secrets a 0.75 out of 10:
Crypt is one hell of a stinky film and if you ever smell its stench, run as far away as possible. Do Not Watch this garbage.
Now come, explore my Crypt and check out my Absolute Horror list to see where this Haunted Horror landed in my rankings. And to find something more entertaining to watch.
