Well, I do salute the effort and everything and always support your local everything, but I'm sorry man, this just didn't work for me. I had difficulty navigating through the overabundant Kevin Smithy situations, dialogue, and story - I mean, even Kevin Smith being Kevin Smith is boring a lot of the time (as in, usually dialogue should help drive the story, but in his case somewhat and in your case much it was too much like me and friends hanging out; and I don't really want to watch people just hanging out and b*********g when I could be spending the time watching it actually doing it, and besides, it completely drives the story to a grinding, screeching halt). For me I needed there to be more drive, and in regards to the picture, though I understand the large costs of renting film equipment and lighting and everything, it would have been much improved with composed shots, lighting, stationary cameras (most of it was handheld and a little distracting), etc. Other than that I would say that there were also too many cultural references, and many of the intended jokes were "wink wink know what I mean know what I mean yuk-yuk," almost like having a light up "Laughter" sign on screen. The direction and acting was also a little below - rehearsing people who aren't used to acting until they know the scene like they know the back of their hand works fairly well to clear up many of those problems, plus you get a better feeling for more "natural" scene direction as the rehearsing goes on. Some things placed in it were hackneyed, like the farting, or the beer that suddenly pops up next to the car toward the end, or the seemingly endless running feet on lawn (though that also deals with editing). I hope you consider what I've said not as harsh criticism but more as constructive observations, and I would like to check out more that is going on in the local scene - maybe see some more of your work. On the other hand, this is probably a great laugh to see between you and a bunch of friends every now and then, and if that's the case, carry on.
