The Shaman

Where do I start? There are SO MANY points of utterly hopeless ineptitude to be addressed here that it becomes difficult to dissect this steaming dish of fetid exudation for critical analysis. I suppose my first thrashing should be upon the actors, easily among the worst I've ever seen. EVERY line of the film is delivered without motivation by EVERYONE in the cast. Then there's the basic premise...or, rather, the absence of one. Somewhere along the way, it vaguely seems to involve a rural residential neighborhood being stalked by a tall guy in a trenchcoat. He blathers-on ceaselessly about his awesome supernatural powers(and we'll just have to take his word for it...we see nothing of the sort), and about how he needs to find a worthy "successor". For this honor he chooses some random loser, God-only-knows for what reason. Before long, he appears to possibly have a few people under some sort of mind control...or maybe the terrible acting had just reached a point of totally vacant non-expression. During the final 15 minutes(which feels like years), characters just run around yelling at each other, feebly attempting to muster a sense of imminent danger and panic.

This floundering minutiae of provisions features Michael Conforti, better known as a writer for the long-running soap GENERAL HOSPITAL. Folks who watched LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN during the 90s might recognize the late LEONARD TEPPER-- how he ended up in this is anyone's guess.

1.5/10-- excruciating