Being Bobby Brown

Mr. and Mrs. Houston manage to do the impossible: they make Mr. and Mrs. Spears look positively deep! Instead of doing something productive - like, say, mow the lawn or help someone less fortunate - they sludge from one hotel to another, blow her fortune, and diss the guy who won't let them borrow his skeedoo (smart man).

While Bobby tries in his own fumbling way (his culinary experiments are a hoot), Whitney is a train-wreck who doesn't pretend to be a civil or gracious human being. She is filmed chowing down, yet goes nuts when a fan wants to take her picture: "Ma'am, can't you see I'm eating?!" Well, at least she said "Ma'am." When she reads about a celebrity in a magazine and "asks" her "Invite me to your wedding" like some Z-list nobody, I had to cringe!

These are two dysfunctional and miserable people trapped in a bad marriage, too stupid to do the humane thing and get a divorce. Giving us a tour of their house, Bobby mentions the awards are "mostly my wife's" then, in a classic Freudian slip says: "I have 5 Grammys..." No, Bobby, you have 1 Grammy, which is 1 more than you deserve!

I felt sorry for their daughter and that poor pooch who looks like two different pieces of rugs sewn together. The one time Whitney pays attention to Bobbi is when they're shopping and she repeatedly asks for a kiss. Bobbi keeps pushing her away as if to say "Mom, you're embarrassing me." Too bad her parents weren't embarrassed to put her through this.