The Blue Mansion

A movie has to be either exceptionally good or bad to elicit from me such strong reactions that I would have to off-load them online. The Blue Mansion falls under the latter category, and I would be remiss not to warn my fellow movie-goers, given the surprising dearth of negative reviews.

A movie is sufferable if merely boring, but The Blue Mansion is excruciatingly annoying. Not only because of the relentless barrage of lame jokes that assault you from the beginning. Not only because of the inane caricaturing of every possible Singaporean stereotype. Not only because of the affected application of perfect English or typical Singlish that renders the characters even less believable. Not only because of the trite message that demonises capitalism - I've had quite enough of that rhetoric in recent times.

But with a cast with such illustrous resumes, you'd think their performances would at least justify a fraction of your ticket's cost. You'd be direly mistaken - my condolences if you've already paid. I don't know whether it's fair to blame the actors given the ridiculous roles written for them. But the deluge of over-acting is nothing more than an embarrassment to all involved. What makes a character is plausibility; what breaks a character is excessive melodrama. I'm a firm believer of knowing your limits - if you think it's out of your capacity to salvage a lousy role, don't even try. You'll only come across as trying too hard, and being even less convincing.

The only saving grace is a score well-written by David Hirschfelder who is impressive in his ability to make sense of the movie's rampant madness.

The least an artist can do for a paying customer is to not insult his intelligence. Just because the protagonist is stupid enough to persist in talking to people even while knowing they can't hear him doesn't mean we viewers are equally dumb.